Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friends Dr. Tyler Lefevor (Utah State Professor) and Sam Skidmore (Utah State PhD Student) join us to talk about their new research to help Ward/Stake Leaders better support their LGBTQ members. If you are interested in learning more about Tyler and Sam’s research, you can find more at www.4optionssurvey.com or www.lgbtqmormonresearch.com. Tyler and Sam have also put out a one-page handout of “best practices” for ward and stake councils in ministering to LGBTQ+ members that you can find at usu.box.com/s/vpjyc7pl1yfolcm66olic0k746mytv89. They are currently recruiting LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints to be part of a 10-year study to understand how gender, sexuality, and faith impact health over time, which you can learn more at www.4optionssurvey.com. They are also looking to share what they have learned about ministering to LGBTQ+ members with ward and stake councils, which you can learn more about at lgbtqmormonresearch.com/participate-in-research/. I wish I had read their research before a gay Latter-day Sa

My friend Jaxon George (chemistry student at Dixie State University, RM) bravely shares his story. Jaxon starts with his childhood including a brother with Spina Bifida and Lincoln logs. Jaxon then opens up about gay pornography use in his youth and realizing he is gay (Jaxon points out that pornography use didn’t make him gay). In High School, Jaxon worked tirelessly (swim team, college classes, etc.) to kind of escape and/or overcompensate for the realities of his life. That dissonance led Jaxon to consider suicide during high school. Jaxon shares how he was able to get out of that dark spot and find hope and purpose in his life along with the love and hope he felt from his Heavenly Father and Savior. Jaxon talks about starting to come out in High School (mostly positive experience), helping to ease the dissonance as he became authentic. Jaxon talks about the role of poetry and authentic connection with men to help end his pornography use. Jaxon talks about his decision to serve a mission, his mi

My friend Dr Terryl Givens (Senior Research Fellow at Maxwell Institute at BYU) joins us to talk about his new book “The Door of Faith”. Here is a description of the book: “In The Doors of Faith, Terryl Givens teaches that the surest route to a meaningful and enduring faith is a “witting” understanding of Jesus Christ and His gospel. Givens bears a strong personal witness of many unique aspects of the restored gospel, demonstrating that the Restoration provides us with the most morally compelling, intellectually satisfying, and aesthetically appealing account of the universe and each person’s place within it. He shows that such knowledge is a powerful catalyst to a more profound appreciation of Jesus Christ’s love, grace, and Atonement.” Brother Givens also talks about the importance of President Russel M. Ballard’s CES talk and the shift in how we teach the gospel and answer questions (see www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts/article/evening-with-a-general-authority/2016/02/the-opportunities-and-respo

My friend Tonya Baker Miller (Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Active LDS, Married Mother of 4) joins us to share insights and principles to heal (and help others) who have experienced church/leader pain/trauma. She explores the possibility that what we often refer to as "faith crisis" could more accurately be framed as "trust crises", and talks about academic differences between faith and trust. She also has helpful insights on how the family can be a safe and healing place when trust in the Church is damaged. And how to keep the family full of hope, support and understanding even if some members of the family are not participating in the Church. Tonya’s story of the being the mother of a gay son is on the Church’s web site. There is a video about the family, and essays written by Tonya, her son Andy, and their bishop at the time. The video and essays were included in the original "Mormon and Gay" website that was released in 2016 and can be found at: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/gay/videos/ton

My friend Alexander Solis La Torre (Worldwide Unified Co-founder, RM, active LDS, senior BYU student) joins us to share powerful and thoughtful insights on fostering belonging and creating safe spaces in our congregations. This podcast is an expanded version of the devotional Alexander gave on High Five Live: “A LONGING FOR BELONGING: Keys to Building a Safe Community & Becoming a Safe Person” (see https://www.facebook.com/HiFiveLive/videos/419121603010367), which is one of the finest sermons on this topic I’ve ever heard. Alexander is a co-founder and admin of Worldwide Unified, the interfaith Facebook group that gathered more than half a million people from 32 religions and 99 countries in one week to fast in April 2020, following President Nelson’s invitation in General Conference (check out https://www.facebook.com/groups/534352464165662). If you want to improve the culture of your congregation to be a safe place for everyone, please listen to this podcast. Alexander has gospel-based principles

My friend Iese Wilson (RM, Age 28, Graduating BYU-H) bravely shares his story. Iese starts with reaching out to the President of BYU-Hawaii to share his story as a gay student and the resulting positive meeting (along with others from BYU-H administration) that occurred. Iese also talks about the many closeted BYU-H students who have reached out to him and shares about the complexity of coming another country/culture and being LGBTQ in The Church. Iese also talks about his supportive Bishop and Stake President which led to a packed Stake Fireside about supporting LGBTQ Latter-day Saints (where Becky, Scott, and their son Xian Mackintosh spoke). This led to Iese’s story being shared in the official BYU-Hawaii magazine (https://issuu.com/kealakai/docs/whole.nobleeds/48). Iese then shares his story of coming out to himself, friends, family and in a Church talk; the things he is learning; the personal revelation he is receiving, and thoughts about his future. Thank you Iese for being on the podcast a

My friend Brooke Anderson (RM, Masters student at BYU, Author) shares her story. Brooke talks about her journey to understand and then accept her sexual orientation (which included a annulled marriage). Brooke talks about working through anger with God and the Church and why she remains a committed and believing member of the Church. She also talks about why she is sharing her sexual orientation with others including her book “Through My Lens” available at Barns and Noble (https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/through-my-lens-brooke-anderson/1140786213) Brooke talks about helpful friends and ward members who have supported her in her journey and what we can do to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints as we work to create Zion. Thank you Brooke for being on the podcast and your courage to share you story. You are awesome and our world better place with you and your contributions. I encourage everyone to check out this episode and Brooke’s book.

My friends Brittany and Maeve Sechrist (married with three children) share their story with Maeve coming out to Brittany as transgender in July of 2021. Maeve shares feeling gender dysphoria for many years and what led her to finally come out to her wife. Brittany shares her reaction and subsequent journey to love, learn and support Maeve and how their marriage is strong, healthy and full of hope. Brittany and Maeve share the things they are learning, commitment to the Church, personal revelation, expectations for allies, and hope for their future. Their story is a beautiful love story. If you want to learn about and better support transgender Latter-day Saints, please listen to this podcast. It helped me and I believe will help you. If you are transgender and need hope for your future, this podcast will help you. Thank you Brittany and Maeve for being on the podcast and the courage to share your story. Great job my friends!

My friend Rebecca Snedegar (Active LDS, RM, Mother) bravely shares her story of her 7 year marriage ending when her husband Ammon came out as gay. Rebecca talks about both the pain of having her marriage end and compassion for her husband (who was always faithful) as they both concluded their best paths forward were to separate. Rebecca (who remains friends with her former husband and his family) talks about how her testimony of the Church remains strong and growing, how she is handling the divorce, the role of therapy and her hopes for the future. Rebecca also talks about The Current Bush (talk by Hugh B Brown https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/new-era/1973/01/the-currant-bush?lang=eng) and how this process is helping her be stronger and grow in ways that are part of her mortal plan. If you are going through a divorce (or wanting to help someone on this road), please listen to Rebecca’s podcast. She has wonderful and helpful insights. And if you are wondering where God is during a div

My friend Brandon Kellogg joins us to talk about his new book “Honorably Excused” (available at Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09P8LY87Y/). Brandon talks about his own journey to serve a mission (check out Episode 266 for more of his story) and how we should create more support and understanding for Latter-day Saints who feel their path is to not serve a mission. I encourage everyone to check out this episode and Brandon’s book. Thank you Brandon for being on the podcast and your insights to improve our culture so more feel welcome, a feeling of belonging and needed.

My friend Justice Burt shares his story of coming out as gay in middle school (which was a generally positive experience), being atheist/agnostic during middle/school early high school, and then his journey to join the Church. It is a unique and remarkable story. Justice talks about being gay and how he originally felt that was not compatible to being in a Christian religion. Justice talks about his friends and their love and support that gradually created a shift in Justice to be open to learning more. That eventually led to Justice’s baptism in December 2019. It is a powerful conversation story. Justice also shares, during the isolation of COVID, the experience of falling back into bad habits and coming close to leaving the Church altogether. Despite that, Justice talks about how he was always able to feel the Spirit and how he has been able to return to full activity in the Church. Justice closes with his “queer testimony”. Thank you Justice for being on the podcast. You are a great man with tr

My friend Taylor Kerby (active LDS, Two Masters Degrees, PhD candidate) talks about his new book called “Scrupulous: My Obsessive Compulsion for God” which is at Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Scrupulous-My-Obsessive-Compulsion-God-ebook/dp/B09NFLLPMD). In the podcast Taylor bravely talks about his own journey with Scrupulosity discussing what it is, how it put him in a difficult place, and what he did to overcome it. Taylor, who has a Masters Degree in Religion from Clairmont, goes further to talk about what we can do to help more Latter-days Saints feel at home, create Zions, and feel good enough in our congregations—and what we can do to better create Zions. I was deeply moved by Taylor’s insights into our restored doctrine and Christ’s teachings—and how to apply those in our own lives and the loves of others to bring hope and healing. I encourage everyone to listen to the podcast and read Taylor’s book. Taylor has wonderful and helping insights. I learned much listening to him.

Episode 492: Ginger Price, Resigned from Church, Positive Experience Sharing Her Journey with Stake Presidency/Bishops My friend Ginger McKnight Price (married mother of four, RM) shares her journey with serving a mission (good experience) and then the events that led her to resign from the Church in 2018. Ginger is open, vulnerable and honest. She is not asking others to leave or not believe in the Church but shares the pain of having her faith shift and losing her community and a sense of belonging. Ginger talks about a social media post of an active Latter-day Saint saying kind things about those who leave the church that led to a friendship of understanding. Ginger then moved to from Alaska to Utah and was surprised to learn she was moving into the stake boundaries of this Latter-day Saint, Ed Hegemann who is serving as Stake President and is the Utah State Institute Director. President Heggeman invited Ginger to share her experience with the entire Stake Presidency and 8 Bishops. Ginge

My friend Dr. Lacey (she/her; married mother of two) shares her story as a queer Latter-day Saint. Lacey talks about growing up as a Latter-day Saint and remaining a practicing member of the Church, following her impressions to change her career path (which includes getting a masters degree and PhD in marriage and family therapy), finding her husband Evan (who loves and supports Lacey), coming out as queer, and then opening a queer clinical practice for queer client. Dr. Lacey also shared helpful insights for Latter-day Saint parents raising LGBTQIA+ children and the role therapists (practicing ethical therapy) have in helping their children find their best path forward. If you are LGBTQIA+ or a parent of an LGBTQIA+ child, please listen to this podcast. Dr. Lacey has wonderful insights and experiences to help us all do better. You can reach Dr. Lacey at https://www.celebratetherapy.org or lacey@celebratetherapy.org. You can also find a directory of Queer Mormon Therapists online at https://www.queermorm

My friend Jackson Jensen (age 22, RM from Lubbock Texas) shares his story. Jackson starts bravely sharing his story being a survivor of sexual abuse at age 8. Jackson, with a prompting from the Spirit, at age 16 told his family about his sexual abuse and how freeing and helpful it was to finally open up about this traumatic experience. Concurrent with telling his family about this sexual abuse, Jackson is privately working to understand his sexual orientation. The journey continued during his mission in Texas. Jackson shares his conclusion that being gay is not because he was sexually abused. There are two different parts of Jackson’s story. This is consistent with other stories shared in my book (Chapter 3/False Statement 3; link below) Jackson also shares what he is learning and why is come out publicly in March 2021 (see https://www.facebook.com/jackson.jensen.12/posts/3335259683242812) and his hopes for the future. You can connect with Jackson on Instagram @jacksonterral and Facebook

n this episode, Benée and Heidi share their experience to help us better understand the resources available in Utah to help those struggling with suicide ideation. In particular, they explore resources that can help faith climates develop a culture of safety, help-seeking and hope. Research shows that talking about suicide reduces stigma and risk associated with suicide ideation. QPR Training in faith settings is a great way to help others understand their role in suicide prevention, especially how to have these crucial and needed conversations in our congregations and families. Benée and Heidi and also share practical insights for all of us to help those who are considering suicide and for those who are currently experiencing suicide ideation. If you have lost a loved one to suicide, know your not alone and hear some tips on how to cope. Please listen to this podcast. I learned so much from these two remarkable women. We need to have these conversations and be unified in our efforts to better su

My friend Spencer H. shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Spencer talks about the difficult and dark times—especially in his early twenties—trying to date women and reconcile the complexity of his life. Spencer talks about opening up to his parents and siblings and how they walked together with him on his journey. Their guidance and encouragement helped him seek personal revelation for his path forward which led to hope, a strong relationship with God, and clarity. Spencer is in a great place emotionally and spiritually and full of hope for his future—a future that includes plans to marry a man and stay close to Heavenly Father and Christ. Spencer has great insights about using gospel principles to seek personal revelation and managing the paradoxes of being gay and a Latter-day Saint. You can also check out Spencer's blog https://soyouremormonandgay.blogspot.com/2021/01/spencers-story.html) Thank you Spencer for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many. And thanks to your won

My friend Jonathan Rogers (Married father of two) joins us from his home in Georgia to share some of his story. Jonathan starts by bravely sharing working through worthiness issues in his teens which put him in a dark place feeling outside of God’s love and full of shame. Jonathan talks about the love, kindness and compassion he would give to his younger self to eliminate needless shame and self-loathing. Jonathan talks about his road to listen to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and their often painful experiences. Jonathan talks about his love for our LGBTQ friends and what we can do to better support them. Jonathan talks about his faith-crisis and how he is navigating being an active Latter-day Saint and holding space for everyone on their respective paths. Jonathan, who is a moderator of Mormons Building Bridges, is working hard to building bridges and bring more understanding to see everyone as members of the same human family. Thank you Jonathan for being on the podcast and all your great wo

My friend bj Nelson (RM, active LDS, married with 4 children and 14 grandchildren) shares her story of over fifty years of gender dysphoria. bj shares the decision to finally come out to her wife Donna in April 2017 and her time in the closet “expired”. bj talks about the role of Encircle to provide hope and healing. bj talks about the personal revelation she is receiving from her Heavenly Father and how she believes He loves all of her—and how bj would not longer choose a different road. bj talks about her supportive wife, their love story and how they are walking this road together. bj talks about a supportive ward and being welcome in Relief Society. bj has a long view (over fifty years) of being transgender and has insights, suggestions and principles to help other transgender Latter-day Saints (and their families). If you’d like to learn more about transgender Latter-day Saints, how to be more supportive, and how to value their contributions, please listen to bj’s story. bj and her s

My friend Dr. Susan Madsen (married mother of four and two grandchildren) joins us to talk about her new book called “A Future Only God Can See For You: A Guide for Teen and Young Adult Women and Preparing to Lead” (https://www.amazon.com/Future-Only-God-Can-See/dp/1462140521). This is an important book for LDS women to see and act on their God given potential and mission to lead. Susan shares insights from her own journey as a Latter-day Saint women following her impressions ‘to not stay in the box’ on her path when led her to a doctorate degree, being a college professor, author, worldwide speaker, and the Founding Director of the Utah Women and Leadership Project (https://www.usu.edu/uwlp/). If you are a Latter-day Saint women and want to increase your hope and vision, please read this book. If you are male and want to better amplify the voices and use the gifts of women to build Zion, please read this book. It will help all of us do better. Thank you Susan for being on the podcast and your gr