Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Devorah Stucki (graduates May 2022 in Bioinformatics at the age of 19) joins us to share her story. Devorah focus on two main parts of her story. The first part is becoming aware she is lesbian by the end of High School and the second part is her experience at BYU. Devorah talks honestly about the challenges of being queer at a BYU student. As we hear difficult experiences, it is a chance for us how we can improve things for queer Latter-day Saints in our circle of influence. Devorah also talks about her decision to come out publicly and her advice to queer student consider or at BYU. Thank you, Devorah for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. You’ve accomplished much in your short life and have a great life ahead of you. Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤️ https://listenlearnandlove.org/gay-lesbian-same-sex-podcasts Podcast Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-524-devorah-stucki-queer-byu-student/id1347971725?i=1000560196752 ** Please Check Out My

My friend, Dr. Cameron Staley who is a clinical psychologist and was on Episode 345, joins us to share new insights and tools to understand and solve pornography use. Dr. Staley (active Latter-day Saint) discusses the four main reasons some struggle with pornography use and how ACT helps reduce/solve pornography viewing. If you are working to end pornography use or to help others, please listen to this podcast. I promise this podcast and ACT will help you. Thank you, Dr. Staley, for developing more tools and instilling hope and insights to help good people solve pornography use. Your work is so needed. The resources mentioned in the podcast are: Dr. Staley provides online counseling services to residents of Utah and Idaho. You can schedule counseling, check out the Life After Series Podcast, interviews, research, and free trainings on his website: https://cameronstaleyphd.wordpress.com/ or follow him @thelifeafterseries Life After Pornography online program: https://www.lifeafterpornography.com/sale

My friends, Andrea Neahusan (married mother of 6) and Amber Ayres (married mother of 5) bravely share their story of sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse by their father throughout their childhood. Their father’s severe manipulation kept the sisters from talking about the abuse the whole time. It wasn’t until Andrea was 19 that she finally revealed their secret to her Bishop and police got involved. They talk about the residual effects of their depression, anger, and PTSD from the abuse. After 25 years of living in a safe environment, Andrea and Amber now feel compelled to share the patterns of healing which included therapy, boundaries, and prayerful experiences that allowed the Atonement of Jesus Christ to heal their immense pain. Their hope is that their experiences will help others with traumatic pasts to know that healing and peace are possible. If you are a survivor of any abuse or trauma and seek hope for your future, please listen to Andrea and Amber. If you feel the pain from the realities of a b

My friends Brent Ebmeyer and Sarrah Groves join us to share some of their story including the role of the Savior in our lives. Brent and Sarrah (leaders at North Star) talk about the upcoming North Star conference—including its goals, who is invited and the role of North Star to help us come unto Christ. The theme of this year’s conference is "One in Christ" based on Galatians 3:28. I encourage everyone to attend. You can learn more about North Star and register for the upcoming conference (in-person and virtual) at northstarlds.org. Thank you, Brent and Sarrah, for your courage to share some of your story and for all the great work you and the rest of the team are doing at North Star. I was deeply moved hearing you speak and the gospel principles you shared to help us in our lives.

My friend Ciera Clayton bravely shares her story. Ciera talks about her love of and testimony of the Church, coming out, and trying to navigate her sexuality. Ciera talks about dating women and getting married and having a son. Ciera talks about that marriage ending but being on good terms with her former wife. Ciera talks about trying to date men and why that doesn’t work for her and why she returned to the Church. Thank you, Ciera for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. Every queer LDS story is unique and different, and it helps us to hear a variety of stories to help better support our LGBTQ members. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

My friend Clark Barrow (RM, Active LDS, Age 24, Married) bravely shares his journey with self-harm. Clark (who was on episode 398 with his siblings supporting their gay father Alec) talks about returning home from his mission to Utica, New York after 9 months with a knee injury. Clark talks about the anxiety of being home and how that experience led to significant anxiety and stress about when/if to return to his mission. That led Clark to finding a coping mechanism to numb the pain in self-harm. Clark talks about the shame and stigma around self-harm. Clark returned to Utica, New York and served for another 9 months before the stress/anxiety of the mission led Clark to turn to his copying mechanism of self-harm. Clark, showing great courage, opened up to his companion and Mission President which resulting in Clark returning home. Clark talks about being an early release missionary (twice) and what we can do to better support these good missionaries. Clark also talks about what led him to final

My friend Susie White (married mother of 4, early 50’s) shares her journey with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and PME (Premenstrual Exacerbation) which is very different that Premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Susie, by bravely sharing her story, helps us understand what this is; how it impacts mental health and can lead to suicidal ideation; how it is not a spiritual weakness; how it is diagnosed; and how to get help. Please check out www.IAPMD.org for more information. Susie mentions Christina Bohn Rudd who died from suicide with PMDD (the obituary of this remarkable women can be read at: https://www.columbiatribune.com/obituaries/pclm0093521) and the work for her mother Marybeth to bring more understanding. Her obituary includes this section: Christina suffered from premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which can become more serious the longer it is undiagnosed and untreated. We feel compelled to share the importance of seeking help for premenstrual disorders. Many women and AFAB indivi

My friend Brandon Galli joins us to share his remarkable story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Brandon, who grew up in Draper Utah and is 21 years-old, talks about acting on the impressions he has received that led him to come out, take a job with Disney in Florida, and then attend school at BYU-Hawaii. Brandon talks about his great parents and what they are doing to support him. Brandon talks about the positive experience he had a Disney and then at BYU-Hawaii including excellent experiences with administrators, faculty, and other students. Brandon talks about how BYU-Hawaii is helping to create Zion and gather Israel—for Israel includes LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Brandon is mature, spiritual, deeply authentic with a self-confidence about who he is and his life mission that is remarkable and helps all of us. Thank you, Brandon for being on the podcast along with your wonderful and helpful insights. You are great man with a wonderful future. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.d

My friend Eli McCann (age 37, Ukraine RM, Lawyer, Married Skylar in 2019) shares his journey. Eli starts with the pre-mission years, his Ukraine mission (good experience), and his journey following his mission where he was forced to finally face the reality of being gay and how that looks at a Latter-day Saint. Eli shares the terror and anxiety he felt during these years which led to Eli coming out in late 2013 (age 29) and concluding his best path forward is a committed same-sex marriage where we could build/share his life with someone. Eli also talks about his love of Ukraine and the fundraiser that he organized (along with many others) in March 2022 to help raise over $150,000 for the people of Ukraine. Thank you for your continued efforts to bless lives in Ukraine. Thank you, Eli for being on the podcast. Your story helps us see each other as members of the same human family and principles that help us love, honor and support everyone on their respective paths—where we have unity in diversity.

My friend Dr. Ryan Anderson (Ph.D., married father of 4, active LDS, was on episode 443) talking about his groundbreaking book “The Choice to Leave Abuse” which is available at Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PGKFY59) and Deseret Book (later in April 2022). The book for local leaders, parents and individuals to recognize and then help others (or yourself) out of abusing relationships. It is based on gospel principles and teachings. I encourage everyone to read this book and connect with Ryan’s work. I wish I had read this book before my YSA assignment. You can reach Ryan at randerson@telos.org or at his Facebook page @TheChoicetoLeaveAbuse You can also listen to a free audio recording (www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZfoF6ubukY) of the first chapter of the book at The Choice to Leave Abuse YouTube Channel (www.youtube.com/channel/UC1dNDxmRw3VJL4J3FpcfSDQ. Thank you, Ryan for being on the podcast and your great work.

My brother and friend David Ostler; Author of Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question which is available at Deseret Book (https://deseretbook.com/p/bridges-ministering-to-those-who-question?variant_id=181882-paperback) and Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/158958726X); join us to talk about a new chapter in his book. This new chapter discusses how marriages can stay together—and even thrive—when one spouse chooses to step away from the Church. The gospel bases principals in this chapter also apply when an adult child steps away from the Church. This chapter is free to download at bridgeslds.com and will be included in a future edition of his book. There is also a free guide to download at this site to help leaders talk in the councils and presidencies about how to minister to those who question. We all have people in our lives who have stepped away from the Church. David’s book and new chapter help us keep the family circle together and preserve the relationship—even with people we love not par

My friend joins us via Zoom to share her story as a gay Latter-day Saint in this anonymous podcast. My friend shares her story to come out to herself, to others, to her parents on this deeply spiritual journey. She talks about the IG account she started @to_all_the_latterday_gays and the associated blog. My friend talks about how her relationship with her Heavenly Father helped her accept being gay and is key to removing shame and bringing peace. This is an excellent podcast from one of my youngest guests who insights, maturity and perspective well beyond her years. I encourage everyone to listen to this powerful podcast. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/143355661367214

My friend Meghan Decker joins to talk about her new book (released on April 10, 2022) called “Tender Leaves of Hope. Finding Belonging as a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint Women.” The book is at Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462143288/ (paper-back and kindle with audiobook coming soon). Meghan (my friend from High School) shared her story as a gay Latter-day Saint in Episode 473. Meghan and her husband David (who recently moved to Provo, Utah) are the parents of 5 daughters and 15 grandchildren. In this podcast, Meghan talks about why she wrote the book, why it includes the stories of many other LGBTQ women on their respective paths, and how to honor and support people on their respective paths. Meghan, who is the mother of a queer daughter in a same-sex marriage, shares gospel parenting principles to support LGBTQ children as they make their way forward and to learn to “let go of my agenda for my child.” Meghan also has wonderful and practical insights to help LGBTQ Latter-day Saints feel welcome an

My friend David Bingham (Age 60, Gay Latter-day Saint, Creative Director) shares his remarkable story. David talks about why he left the Church in 1980, his life outside the Church, deeply spiritual experiences, and his journey to return to the Church including receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood and his Endowment. David talks about what he has learned, the wonderful people who love him and support him, his supportive Bishop and Ward, feeling he would be celibate but then dating a wonderful man who is also a devout member of the Church. Thank you, David for being on the podcast and the courage to share your story. I was deeply moved learning of God’s hand in your life and your great heart and courageous decisions. Your story will help so many. On behalf of all our listeners, thank you! If you'd like to reach David, please message him on Facebook Messenger (www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1475074077) ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn

My friend David Shill (RM Italy, 3rd-Year BYU Student, AZ native) joins us to share his story as a queer Latter-day Saint and someone who is very involved in the intersection of being at BYU as a queer student. He is co-founder of Cougar Pride Center (IG / FB @cougarpridecenter), an LGBTQ+ resource center for BYU students, and will soon be stepping into the role of Resource Advisor, which he discusses in today’s episode. Please consider following Cougar Pride Center on social media and donating by using the link in their bio. This will help connect more LGBTQ+ students to the resources they need. David talks about BYU’s recently released (March 2022) “Report of the Campus Climate Survey on Sexual Assault” (see https://t.co/CI8AKoMIv5). There is a subset of questions (see page 6) regarding the experience of LGBTQ+ BYU students (compared to straight students) that is eye-opening and helpful to improve the experience for BYU LGBTQ+ students. David shares insights on this survey and suggestions—all supportive o

My friend Clayton Rasmussen (Age 21, New York City RM) talks about figuring out his sexual orientation during Junior High and High School and then serving a mission. Clayton talks about his successful mission (including effectively using social media during Covid). Clayton talks about coming out to this mother and father after serving 18 months and then his Mission President (very positive experiences). Clayton talks about what led him to come out and they joy/love he felt afterwards. Clayton also shares some difficult mission experiences. Not long after being home from his mission Clayton came out in this FB post: https://www.facebook.com/clayton.rasmussen.376/posts/575332603885993 Clayton decided to attend BYU—knowing that it can be a difficult place for queer Latter-day Saints. Clayton is out to all his roommates (good support) and have excellent family and friend support. Clayton is involved in RaYnbow Collective (on IG @raynbow.collective) at BYU and talks about the groups work for support

My friend Adam Garrett (RM, BYU Grad, Physician Assistant, Active LDS) shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Adam came out publicly in June 2021 via this FB post: https://www.facebook.com/agarrett93/posts/10220746190700360 Adam talks about what he is learning, personal revelation he is receiving, scriptures and Church leader quotes that are helpful. Adam also shares great insights on the difference between shame and guilt and how to find hope and purpose. Adam talks about the possible roads he can choose as a gay Latter-day Saint and how to best support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Adam includes helpful suggestions to allies—and for all of us to better come together to create Zion, and help to make sure everyone feels like they belong in an LDS congregation. Thank you Adam for being on the podcast. Even after 500 episodes, I continue to be struck with additional insights that LGBTQ Latter-day Saints have about the gospel of Jesus Christ and how to better bring us together as the same human famil

My friend Alexa Norton bravely shares the story the sudden and tragic death of her father while skiing in May 2017 (https://www.serenityfhs.com/obituaries/Daryl-Norton-2/). Alexa is sharing her story to help others working through trauma and grief. Alexa shares about the actual experience, what she’s learned, validating grief, finding people that relate, the importance of reaching out and dreams. If you are dealing with the death of a loved one, Alexa’s story will help you. If you want more insights on how to help others walking this brutal road, Alexa’s insights will help you help others. Please check out Alexa’s IG account @griefshine for her blog and other resources to others. Thank you, Alexa for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. I was glad to learn more about your good father Daryl—what a wonderful man—your effort honor him. Thank you for your efforts to bring hope and healing. You and Kohlmann are a wonderful couple.

This episode launches “Listen, Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture.” The book is available at Amazon amazon.com/dp/1462139566 (paperback and kindle) and Deseret Book (late March). The purpose of the book is to improve our culture so more are able to connect with and benefit from our restored doctrine—and the healing and hope it brings into their lives. The chapters are: Chapter 1: Improving our culture to be nonjudgmental and more loving Chapter 2: Measuring progress by coming to Christ, not callings Chapter 3: Women in the Church (written by Susan Hinckley and Cynthia Winward) Chapter 4: Ending pornography use Chapter 5: Hope-filled repentance Chapter 6: Creating better understanding of mental illness and suicide Chapter 7: Overcoming scrupulosity (religious OCD) Chapter 8: Variations in missionary service Chapter 9: Manifest love – even in politics (written by David L. Cook) Chapter 10: Ministering to those with questions Your can read the introduction at: https://www.dropbox.c

My friend Smith Alley braving shares his 5-year experience with pornography—why it started, why he didn’t tell anyone, and what finally helped him stop, and why he is sharing this story. Smith also helps us understand the role of our Savior and His atonement, his parents, why we need to see ourselves as enough now. Smith talks to those who are suicidal to give them hope and perspective. Please stay my friends. Smith talks about deciding to talk about his pornography use which has led to speaking to 1000s and 1000s across the United States and to start a non-profit (https://www.livelifebigger.org/) and a company called PROTECHT (https://www.protechtstrong.com/) with a goal to kids all over the world. You can connect with Smith on IG at @live.life.bigger and @protechtstrong Thank you, Smith for being on the podcast and your life-saving work. I was deeply moved hearing your story. You are doing great work to bring hope, healing and better tools and understanding to help others. Also, here is