Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Frasier Perez, who grew up in Temecula California, shares his story of being an early release missionary from the McAllen, Texas mission. Frasier, during his first transfer, shares realizing he was experiencing something different than normal homesickness as this emotional health declined which led to thoughts of suicide. Frasier bravely opened up with those thoughts to his mission leaders, companion, and family which led to the help he needed and deserved. During his second transfer, once things didn’t improve, Frasier returned home. Frasier talks about what people in his circle did to help him feel welcome and loved and offers suggestions on what we can do to improve our culture to be more loving and accepting. Frasier has deep peace that he did all that he could do and is square with God. Frasier is now looking forward focusing on his bright future and sharing his story to give hope and more understanding. Thank you Frasier for sharing your story. It will help so many. Great

My friend Barry Donakey (BYU Senior, BYU English/Spanish Studies Major) shares his story. Barry (who graduated from Timpanogos High School in 2016) talks about “when did you know,” managing expectations for a heteronormative marriage, and coming out to family and friends (great support). Barry talks about the need to improve Church culture to talk about supporting LGBTQ members and hearing their stories in church-supported settings. Barry shares his experience with the LGBTQ+ & Allies workshop series at the Utah Valley University (UVU) LDS Institute and how this can be scaled into our local areas of influence. Barry shares insights and principles from the scriptures that give him direction and hope for his future and also how he manages the frustrations he feels at times as a gay Latter-day Saint who is also fully active in the Church. Thank you Barry for being you and for your insights to help us better create Zion. You are a good man and your voice and perspective is so needed and helpful. Thank you

My friend Jaime Clemmer, married mother of 4, joins us via Zoom from her home in Virginia to share the story their 10-year-old son Sawyer’s sudden death that started with a seizure at school. Jaime talks about her book (at Deseret Book and Amazon) called Heartbroken, But Not Broken (www.amazon.com/Heartbroken-but-Broken-Jaime-Clemmer/dp/1462140165/ or deseretbook.com/p/heartbroken-but-not-broken) Jaime writes: “We live in a culture that seldom speaks opening about grief. In some instances, we are even embarrassed to show our sorrow. Why are we ashamed to cry? Why do we feel that sharing sadness in unacceptable? How can we effectively mourn with those who mourn if no one is willing to share their heartache?” We need to improve Latter-day Saint culture about how we handle grief and trauma. Jaimie is helping us to do this so we can better love and support each other. Please listen to this podcast—I learned so much from Jaimie. Please read and share her book. You can learn more about Jaime a

My friend Gretchen Norman Evans (married mother of one, active LDS) shares the story losing her dear brother Jacob Norman to suicide while he attended BYU in May of 2019. She continues by sharing the story of losing her dear sister Alanna Norman Koons and her twin 18-month old daughters Ruby and June in a car crash in July of 2019. Gretchen and her family (a strong, open and very close family) are living with immense pain of the reality of losing so many family members. Gretchen shares thoughts on why someone becomes suicidal and what we can do to help them—along with insights to help family members when a someone completes suicide. Gretchen also has important and helpful ideas on how to grieve, how to allow others to grieve, and how to improve our Church culture to allow people to grieve, be real and help them heal. Gretchen bravely shares how she is feeling, what she is learning, what she is doing to be in a safe and sustainable place and how she is finding hope for the future. If you have lo

My friend Steve Haworth, who joined the church in Sept 2020 at age 41, shares his story. Steve, who came out at age 17, has been looking for a church that provides the best path for Steve’s desire to find a home as a gay believer in Heavenly Father and Jesus. Steve shares his positive experience with his missionaries (told them he was gay early in the teaching process), why our restored doctrine resonates with him, how he is navigating being gay and LDS, and how we can better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Steve has started a website at http://www.zionlgbtq.net to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Thank you Steve for being on the podcast and sharing your remarkable and faith building story. You are helping us build Zion. Your story and ministry is helping many! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local

My friend Pedro Munoz, age 35, joins us from his home in Colombia to share his remarkable story. Pedro shares knowing he was attracted to men during his teenage years, trying to date girls, and feeling broken and damaged. During this difficult years where Pedro worried if he really was gay he would be forced to live his life on the street in this life and in hell in the next life. Pedro talks about finding hope through his relationship with Heavenly Father and then finding the missionaries at age 24 where he gained a testimony of unique and hopeful doctrine that came through the restoration (especially the plan of salvation that have him purpose). A year after his baptism, Pedro served a mission in Mexico (great experience). Following his mission, Pedro shares moving to BYU-Idaho and trying to date women. That led to more feelings of being damaged and broken all while being active in the Church and attending the Temple weekly. Pedro talks about surviving a suicide attempt and then getting th

My friend and podcast host Brock Bevell (married active Latter-day Saint) shares his long journey to end his pornography and opioid addictions. Brock, a retired Mesa Arizona Police Officer, shares how pornography use and then opioid use came into his life. Brock then shares the hard work (along with Christ) to put these addictions behind him. Brock is honest, direct, candid with his story --- which is full of hope and real-life principles to help others. Brock hosts a podcast called Chase the Vase (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chase-the-vase/id1543306831) with stories of others putting addictions behind them. Brock (along with Max Hall and Blu Robinson) co-host Agents of Recovery podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-agents-of-recovery-podcast/id1550462911). Please check out these podcasts. You can connect with Brock on IG at https://www.instagram.com/brockbevell/ and on FB at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100014854295625. To learn more about Brock’s approach to k

My friend Shayla Slaymaker (Lawyer, Married, Age 29) shares her story about losing both her brothers to suicide. Her younger brother Chance died by suicide at age 14 in 2013, and her older brother Travis died by suicide at age 26 in 2016. Shayla, who has been on this immensely painful road for 8 years, is sharing her story in hopes of helping others who have lost a loved one to suicide. Shayla is also sharing her story to give hope and more tools/perspective for those who are struggling and may be considering suicide. If you have lost a loved one to suicide, are suicidal, or want to help someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, please listen to this podcast. It will give you tools, perspectives and ideas to help. Thank you Shayla for your courage to share your story and be on the podcast. You are helping so many!

My friend Eli Wood shares his story for the first time publicly. Eli talks about growing up in an active Idaho LDS family and navigating his way as a gay Latter-day Saint. Eli talks about being happy but knowing he was different from other boys. Eli, who is currently a flight attendant, talks about trying to date girls and the emotional challenges of that road. Eli talks about his time at BYU-Idaho, including great experiences and very difficult experiences (hearing difficult experiences helps us do better). Here he learned part of the reason why he wasn't meant to serve a proselytizing mission and how God will use you where you are to accomplish your life mission. Eli talks about his deep, helpful and meaningful relationship with his Heavenly Parents and the personal revelation and hope he is receiving. Eli, who is planning on being a marriage and family therapist, talks about his hopes for the future and how we can better come together as the same human family. This is a powerful podcast. If you a

My friend Stephanie Povey (married mother of three daughters and two granddaughters) joins us to share her story. Stephanie starts with her own childhood and not fitting the cultural norms while growing up in a small Utah town. She was called a "tomboy" because she wanted to take part in activities that were considered only for boys. Being told she couldn't and shouldn't want to, led to feelings of shame and not belonging. Stephanie reveals some of her personal "anchoring experiences" that allowed her to find her way forward. She is sharing her story in her upcoming book entitled, "You Can't Play, You're a Girl". Stephanie goes on to tell the story of her gay daughter Hannah, who came out to her six years ago at age16 who now at age 22 has a steady girlfriend. Stephanie talks about what she is learning, the personal growth she has experienced and insights of being a parent of a gay daughter. She and her husband Reed are deeply committed to both the church and keeping their family circle strong and toge

My friend Wes Haws shares his story. Wes talks about coming out as gay after serving a mission to his future wife. They decided to get married and that marriage lasted 11 years. During these years, Wes survived a brutal attached in Ethiopia which resulted in difficult health and financial challenges. Wes rebuilt his career and now owns Blue Zoon (https://bluezoo.us/). Wes also talks about finding a way to move forward and the work he has done (including therapy) to accept and love himself. Wes talks about how/why his married ended and his subsequent excommunication (positive and loving experience for Wes). Wes talks about his hopes for the future and his respect and support for all path that LGBTQ Latter-day Saints take. Wes also talks about being your best personal self before deciding the best path if you are LGBTQ and LDS. Thank you for being on the podcast Wes. I think it helps LGBTQ Latter-day Saints to hear a variety of stories. I invite each LGBTQ Latter-day Saint to write thei

My friend Meghan Decker(from High School) shares her story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Meghan and her husband David are the parents of 5 daughters and 15 grandchildren. Meghan is active in the Church and is a wonderful marriage. Meghan shares her journey to come out to herself and then her husband and family in her 50’s. Meghan talks about how coming out reduced shame, helped her be authentic and improved her emotional health. Meghan shares how her marriage works, why she decided to come out, her family response, and her relationship with the Church. Meghan wrote Reaching for Hope: An LDS Perspective on Recovering from Depression 22 years ago. She is releasing a new book in April 2022 called Tender Leaves of Hope: Finding Belonging as LGBTQ Latter-day Saint Women, which shares her experience as a gay women in the Church and also includes insights from 40 other gay or bisexual LDS women. You can find her website at www.confirminghope.com. Meghan's story is unique because of her long-view of so

My friend Peter Fillerup (age 31, RM, Architectural & Interior Designer), shares his story. Upon returning home from his successful mission in Los Angeles, Peter spent about ten years trying to date women. Peter talks ‘waiting for the attraction to happen’ and concludes with feeling ‘I’m screwed up”. In late 2020, Peter started to consider he is gay. That journey involved his family, personal revelation, and deep reflection. Peter shares his story of coming out in 2021 and how much better he feels in all aspects of his life. He no longer feels “screwed up” and has a better relationship with his Heavenly Parents. This is a deeply moving and insightful podcast. Peter’s story will help so many. You are a good man Peter and I’m honored to have you. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please

My friend Colby Majors (mid 30’s, convert, RM, going through a divorce, father of one) shares his journey. Colby talks about knowing he was gay in his teenage years, joining the Church at age 17 and serving a mission, and then getting married. Colby talks about why, after 15 years of marriage, he felt he needed to finally come out as gay to his wife and family. That reality has led Colby and his wife to separate and are headed to a divorce Colby talks about his love for his Heavenly Parents and the Savior in his life as he moved forward. Colby talks about doing his best to be honest and make the best decisions possible as a gay Latter-say Saint. Colby story (like many LGBTQ Latter-day Saints) is still unfolding. But Colby has hopes for his future and have wonderful insights to help other LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and to help keep us together as the same human family. Thank you my friend Colby for being on the podcast and sharing your story. You are brave and courageous. Hearing your story h

My friend Dr. Mark White (active Latter-day Saint, Director, MFT Doctoral Programs, Department of Marriage and Family Sciences, Northcentral University [NCU]) joins us to talk about a research study designed to better understand the experience of current/former LGBTQ Latter-day Saints). Dr. White is joined by the other members of the research team, Dr. Beth Patrick (Associate Professor of Marriage and Family Sciences at NCU) and Tyra Williams (PhD student in Marriage and Family Therapy). Beth (lesbian/queer identified) and Tyra (queer identified) share some of their journey and how they are navigating their faith communities with wonderful insights. All three talk about the purpose and scope of the study. If you are LGBTQ and a current/former Latter-day Saint, I encourage you to spend 30-40 minutes to complete the online research project at MyCoreTruths.org (anonymous) and please share this link with others. Good research helps us know how to better meet the needs of our LGBTQ friends. Thank you

My friend Joseph Stith (active LDS, Convert, Former Marine, RM from Houston, Former President of Northstar, early 60s) shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Joseph talks about his healing journey with his Savior that first started with a desire to change his sexual orientation and later changed to accepting his sexual orientation. Joseph shares knowing he was gay while serving in the military and throughout his mission, his marriage and during his service as a Bishop. Joseph shares the deeply spiritual road resulting in eventually fully coming out to himself and then his dear wife. It is a deeply moving and powerful story centered on the Savior and the Temple that ultimately strengthened his marriage and his discipleship. If you are a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint or someone wanting to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints, I believe you will enjoy this podcast. Joseph, having traveled this road for decades, has the long-view to help others new to this road. Thank you Joseph for being on the podcast

My friend Spencer Cottle joins us to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Spencer, who grew up in Williamsburg Virginia, talks about coming out in 2018 to his bishop and parents (good experience) prior to his successful mission to Madagascar. Once home from his mission, Spencer talks about needing to face and address the realities of figuring out his future as a gay Latter-day Saint. That led to deeply spiritual experience that Spencer shares on the podcast and feelings about his best path forward. Spencer, who sang in the BYU Choir at October General Conference, also talks about the excellent support he is receiving from parents, family and roommates. Thank you Spencer for being on the podcast. You are a remarkable talented man with a wonderful future. Thank you for sharing your story and helpful insights to help bring us together. You have a great life ahead of you! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latte

My friends Scott and Molly Hixson (married for 28 years, parents of five children, and one grandchild) join us to share their story. About 15 years ago, Scott came out to Molly with his same-sex attraction. Scott and Molly talk about the things they did during the last 15 years to keep their marriage together. The effort significantly accelerated over the past year as they did the hard work needed to bring their marriage into a very healthy and sustainable place. Their story is a beautiful love story. Scott and Molly talk about the personal revelation they received on why to share their story in a broad way to give hope, perspective and healing for others. If you are looking to improve your marriage (straight or mixed-orientation), or improve your relationships with others, please listen to this podcast. They share helpful and valuable insights. If you are looking to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints or are LGBTQ, this podcast will help you. Thank you Scott and Molly for being on the podcast

My friend Spencer Thompson joins us to talk about his insightful recent Liahona Article which talks about his journey from shame to joy. Here is a link to the article: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2021/10/digital-only/same-sex-attraction-and-my-journey-from-shame-to-joy?lang=eng) Spencer, a married father of four, has some of the most unique, practical and helpful insights into the role of the Savior and His Atonement to bring hope and healing. I learn so much listening to Spencer and his honest and thoughtful insights. Spencer also talks about the valuable role of therapy, importance of being vulnerable and how to better minister to each other. Spencer gave two keynotes at NorthStar (Spencer is the current President https://www.northstarlds.org/) that are two of the finest talks I’ve heard about how the Savior wants to take on our burdens (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zPYSoDk1kQ) and how to better trust in God (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYjL35kZaHA). I encourage e

My friends Patrick Mason and David Pulsipher join us to talk about their new book called Proclaim Peace: The Restoration's Answer to an Age of Conflict that is co-published with the Maxwell Institute's Living Faith series and Deseret Book. Here is a description of the book: Proclaim Peace is an extended meditation on what it means to follow the Prince of Peace in a world of violence. The book seeks not to promote any particular ideology, but rather to invite readers, especially the rising generation, to reflect seriously on the interpersonal, ethical, and social dimensions of Christian discipleship. As such, it represents a spiritual journey by two believing scholars of peace—a journey of scriptural exegesis and hermeneutics that breathe new life into familiar and beloved Restoration texts. Patrick and David talk about the unique doctrine in our restored Church that helps us lead with peace both within our Church and the world and how this implementing this doctrine is so needed to reduce divisiveness