Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Tammy Hill (Adjunct Faculty BYU, LMFT, Noted Speaker and Author, married mother of 12 in a blended family with her husband Jeff) joins us to talk about her groundbreaking new book for Latter-day Saints called “Replenish: Creating Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage, A Guide for LDS Couples”. In the podcast Tammy talks about how the book “is the answer for anyone who has been frustrated by information that is either too vague, too academic, too spiritual, or too pornographic. Providing accurate information and practical application—all within a gospel framework—the book is the perfect guide for couples who desire a fulfilling sexual relationship that replenishes them with the joy, unity, and oneness that love Heavenly Parents intended.” In the podcast Tammy vulnerably shares some of her own story, why she decided to write the book, what she hopes it will accomplish, and who should read the book. I had several ‘light-bulb’ moments as I heard Tammy’s concepts to bring a more positive and proactive

My friend Valerie Barton (active Latter-day Saint, in her 40s, married for 6 years) bravely shares her story believing her worth and purpose were in being married and having children—and having neither happen for nearly two decades. Valerie talks about things being typical and normal though her youth—but then things becoming more difficult during her 20s as she tried to move forward not being married. She talks about decided to attend college, receive her endowment and serving a mission—but still struggling with her purpose and value as a single Latter-day Saint and why our can create this in women. Valerie bravely shares the pain of being on her road—in a Church focused on the nuclear family. Valerie shares how she shifted her worth to be on things in her control—to being a daughter of Heavenly Parents and empowerment to chart her own course. If you are a single Latter-day or working to better support single Latter-day Saints, Valerie story and insights will help you. I wish I had heard the t

My friend Carol Lynn Pearson joins us to talk about the subject of love in five of the books she has written. These books are: Good-bye, I Love You (1986) No More Goodbyes (2007) I’ll Walk with You (2020) Finding Mother God (2020) The Love Map (2022) To order personally autographed copies of these books or see a complete list of Carol Lynn’s work, please visit: https://carollynnpearson.com/ The first two groundbreaking books are about how to better love and support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. In the first book, Carol Lynn talks about loving and supporting her husband Gerald who died of AIDS in 1984. In the second book, Carol Lynn shares stories of LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. I read both books many years ago which were key for me to learn how to better support my LGBTQ friends. Carol Lynn also talks about the other three important books. I was deeply moved learning about these books, including the important role of Heavenly Mother in our lives. All of Carol Lynn life work is focused on the teachings

This is a solo podcast where I talk about why someone feels transgender, how to understand and best support them, and church resources. I also talk to those who experience gender dysphonia and principles for making thoughtful and informed decisions. My hope and prayer is this episode will bring more support to and understanding of our transgender friends—and better bring us together as the same human family. Links mentioned in the podcast: Church’s web site: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/transgender Deseret New Article: https://www.deseret.com/faith/2022/4/27/23034223/latter-day-saint-leaders-lgbt-advocates-common-ground-washington-dc-temple-faith-religious-liberty Listen Learn and Love Transgender Podcast List: https://listenlearnandlove.org/transgender-and-more-podcasts Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints and Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462135773 Facebook Group to sup

My friend Josh Yordy joins us to bravely share his story. Josh talks about how mental health challenges ended his mission early and the positive support he received from his mission therapist, mission leaders, parents, and leaders back home in Flagstaff, Arizona. If you have returned home early or are supporting someone walking this road, Josh’s story will help you. Once home, Josh decided to address his sexual orientation, which he had avoided his whole life prior. Part of his journey was serving in the Los Angeles temple for six months in early 2022. Working with a therapist, being in the Temple, and a personal relationship with Heavenly Father helped Josh to accept being queer/bi-sexual in a positive, healthy, and authentic way. Josh talks about how he is navigating his road with both a testimony and being a queer Latter-day Saint. Josh is coming from a place of peace, confidence, faith, and hope—instead of shame and fear. I was deeply moved listening to the spiritual maturity of this 20-year-old man

My friend Sara Brewer, certified life coach, shares powerful insights to end porn use. Sara talks about the “roots” of porn use and a framework to address these roots in a hopeful and positive way to end porn use. I became aware of Sara after several mentioned to me how Sara helped them end porn use (including Koji Aoki who told his story on episode 544). Sara is part of a growing group of experts in this field who are bring a completely new paradigm to understand and solve porn use. I wish I had known the things Sara teaches before my YSA assignment—it would have given me more tools to help others. If you are looking to end porn use or help others, please listen to this podcast, and connect with Sara work (see links below). Thank you, Sara, for being on the podcast and your great work in our community. Links mentioned in the podcast: Sara’s web site: https://www.sarabrewer.com/ Sara’s Instagram: @sarabrewercoaching **Check out my new book that has a chapter (chapter 4) about solving po

My friend Emma Edwins (Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy; Licensed Clinical Counselor) shares her remarkable story. Emma starts with her decision to join the Church while in college in Colorado. Emma then talks about why she left the church (for about ten years) and then talks about addressing her gender dysphoria—which led Emma to legally, socially, and medically transition to a woman. Emma talks about how much happier she is since transitioning—and how she longed to return to the Church. Emma, who lives in St. Paul Minneapolis, talks about her decision to go back to Church and the warm welcome she is receiving from her Ward, including attending Relief Society. Emma talks about why she decided to go back to Church and her testimony of our restored doctrine. Emma also talks about the challenges transgender Latter-day Saints face—including her desire to attend the temple, which is currently not possible. Emma has a You Tube channel called Stories of Latter-day Faith (see link below) which fea

My friend Jay Griffith (married father of 3) joins us to share his story of why he stays a Latter-day Saint, how he manages the complexity of being in the church, and why he loves/supports/respects his family and friends who are no longer Latter-day Saints, and lives without fear for their salvation. Jay also briefly talks about his monthly gathering, ThinkAgain-FaithAgain (begun nearly 10 years ago), and his association with Faith Matters. Jay is one of the most spiritual and thoughtful people I know. Jay’s insights and life story give all of us ideas about how to see each other as God sees us. Thank you, Jay, for being on the podcast. Honored to call you friend. Links mentioned in the podcast: ThinkAgain-FaithAgain: https://www.thinkagain-faithagain.life/ Faith Matters: https://faithmatters.org/ Jay welcomes direct contact with any who have questions or would just like to be listened to and walked with. You can reach him at jaygriffith4@gmail.com ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** De

My friend Alicia Hall (lives in Georgia, with husband & five children) joins us to share how she is using gospel principals and parenting skills to walk with and support her 17-year-old lesbian daughter McKenna (who came out at age 15). Alicia focuses on what we can do as parents to operate from a position of trust, love, acceptance—instead of a position fear, shame and looking backward in self-doubt. All this helping us as parents be in a better position to love and support an LGBTQ child. If you are a parent with a LGBTQ child—or want to be prepared to parent a LGBTQ child—please listen to this podcast. It is one of the very best we’ve done as Alicia combines her experience as a parent, life coach, and the gospel insights. Thank you, Alicia, for being on the podcast. I learned so much. Your voice and work are so need in our community. You can find Alicia on Facebook at @aliciahallcoaching or Instagram at @alliciahallcoaching Links mentioned in the podcast: Alicia’s web site: https://alicia

My friend Autumn McAlpin (married mother of 5) shares the story of her 17-year-old son, Gavin, walking into her bedroom at 3:00 am telling her and her husband and he that “he is gay, leaving the church, and really struggling with depression… like, really.” A lot has happened since that night two and a half years ago—which Autumn shares on the podcast and in her new book to support Gavin. It is a beautiful and powerful family love story. Autumn, a noted author and filmmaker, decided to write a book about their experience. In November 2022, that book, But Jesus: A Conversation, was published by Pink Umbrella Books with Gavin’s permission (see below for Amazon book link). Autumn talks about the book in the podcast, and all proceeds from sales will be donated to life-saving therapy programs for LGBTQ+ at Encircle and Flourish Therapy. I encourage everyone to listen to this podcast and read Autumn’s book. I have read it—it is a powerful family story of how we can do better so support families wit

In this episode, my friend Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife (Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, active LDS) joins us to share details of her professional journey. She tells us more about her time at BYU and how she shifted from following cultural expectations to following her heart and talents, which led to her earning her Master’s Degree, followed by a Ph.D., and eventually, opening her own practice. She shares how her work has grown past her original hopes and expectations and talks about why she decided to stay a Latter-day Saint. Her story is a powerful one and will inspire younger (and even older!) Latter-day Saints to pursue their passions and believe in their potential. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also shares insights about creating healthy boundaries, and how those boundaries can help us maintain a healthier relationship with the Church. She also shares ways that we can create more belonging at church—so that more will feel welcome, included, and needed as we create Zion. I was deeply moved by this conversation

My friend Brian Paul (married, father of 4, active LDS) joins us to share the story of his older brother Boyd dying by suicide at the age of 25 in 1989. It tells a powerful story of hope and the far-reaching promises of the atonement and the power to redeem. Brian, who is about 7 years younger than Boyd, talks about his love for his brother. Boyd changed a few years after returning home from his mission when he went down a difficult road trying to reconcile his sexual orientation. Feeling rejected by God for not helping him overcome same gender attraction, difficulty in achieving ideal relationships with other gay men, being fired by his employer, and not being fully accepted and understood by family, led to Boyd taking his own life by jumping off the William Howard Taft Bridge in Feb 1989. Brian talks about his journey to understand and love his brother including a powerful spiritual experience walking on the William Howard Taft Bridge in 2014 with his daughter, that reflects the infinite power of t

My friends Jeralee Renshaw and Peter Ryan (active Latter-day Saints) talk about a facebook group called Waters of Mormon for Latter-day Saints who need a safe place to process complicated church topics (history, current issues, or difficult experiences). Members of the group are working to stay engaged with the Church. Jeralee and Peter (two of the moderators of the group) talk about vetting criteria to be able to join the group (including being familiar with the Gospel Topic Essays), group mission, and rules of the group. They also share some of about their story navigating difficult topics and why they stay members of the Church. I joined this group in 2016 during my mini-faith crisis and it was key for me to reconstruct a sustainable framework to remain an active member of the Church. If you are working to stay in the Church and also looking for a safe place to process complicated church topics, please listen to this podcast. It will help you decide if this group would be helpful for you. And

My friend Tyler Johnson (married father of 3, active LDS, Oncologist and Assistant Professor Stanford Medical School), joins us to talk about principles that can help build a long-term foundation to remain in the Church and process the complicated topics (history, prophetic infallibility, imperfect members, etc) Tyler shares his upbring where his father didn’t create a fairly-tale type narrative of our church history—but on honest discussion about the warts that are part of the beautiful restoration of the gospel. Because of this, Tyler didn’t ever have to deconstruct and then reconstruct—it has always been about construction. For Tyler (and I believe many others) this is a more sustainable framework to move forward as a Latter-day Saint. He also talks about the love present in his home that help form his feelings about his Heavenly Parents and their love for all of us. It also created a safe environment to process honest questions. Tyler shares his vision for what each of us can to in our area of in

My friend Lynn Patten (married mother of 4, active LDS, RM) shares her journey through depression that started when she was on her mission. Lynn talks about how Church became a difficult place for her, mainly because she could no longer feel the Spirit—but how she worked to continue to be an active Latter-day Saint by learning how to hear God’s voice again. Lynn shares how she connects with the Spirit in different ways and how she has found spiritual healing amidst her mental illness and wrote a book called “Hear Him: How to Hear the Spirit When You Suffer From Depression” The book is available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BJC9QJWR If you are working to understand and manage mental illness, or know someone who is, please listen to Lynn’s podcast, and read her book. I believe it will help you. Thank you, Lynn, for being on the podcast and your good work in our community.

My friends Joni and Phil Broderick (parents of four) and their gay son Kyle (recent BYU graduate) join us from their home in Virginia to share their story. Kyle talks about his journey to address and resolve being gay and LDS which reached a crossroads on his mission in Africa where he decided to end his mission and return home. Kyle’s parents learned—in a jolting message—that their son was gay and coming home from his mission. Kyle talks about his experiences at BYU (some good and some difficult) and deciding to step away from the Church. Joni and Phil talk about being on the receiving side of Kyle’s message and how they navigated this new reality. They talk about their path to learn how to support Kyle and address their fears—which included reading books, listening to podcasts, and prayer. Joni talks about coming to Utah to attend a NorthStar conference and learning as she arrived in Utah that Kyle was participating in a rally at BYU regarding the honor code changes. Joni talks about her deci

My friend Bryson Lind (early 30s, Active LDS, Single, Undergrad in Psychology, Masters in Mental Health Counseling) joins us to share his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Bryson talks about the growing up years, his mission, and returning to college. Bryson talks about feeing “monstrous and dark” inside because of his feelings towards men in spite of giving everything on his mission. He talks about coming out to a Bishop and BYU-I (not a good experience) and then being suicidal and the positive/lifesaving experience coming out to his Bishop at Utah State Bryson talks about many positive experiences at BYU (community, professors, friends, and committees) and his supportive YSA leaders during his graduate work in Denver. Bryson also talks about, in a deeply moving segment, reconstructing his relationship with Heavenly Father including “the person you think I am, isn’t the person I am.” Bryson talks about his clinical work at the Marriage and Family Clinic in Spanish Fork (link in the show notes

My friend Al Carraway (who was on Episode 114, convert, married mother of 3) joins us to talk about her two new #1 Amazon Best Seller books called: My Dear Little One: https://www.amazon.com/My-Dear-Little-One-Carraway/dp/1462143636/ Finding Yourself in the New Testament: https://www.amazon.com/Yourself-Testament-Spiritually-Uplifting-Carraway/dp/146214361X Al shares her insights into our Heavenly Parents and Jesus and Their role in our lives to love, support, and help us. She talks about Their character and ability to bless our lives. Al talks about “More Jesus” is the path to healing and bring us together. I encourage everyone to check out this podcast and read/share Al’s new book. It will help you feel the love and support of Jesus in your life. I was deeply moved listening to Al and her fresh insights and perspectives to help all of us. Thank you Al for your wonderful and needed work in our community. You can find more about Al at www.alcarraway.com

My friend Steven Kapp Perry (host on Classical89.org and the “In Good Faith” podcast, married father of four, songwriter, and playwright) joins us to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Steve shares being out for decades to his dear wife Johanne and then recently deciding to come out more broadly to family and close friends. Steve talks about how he has navigated painful church experiences, found his worth/stability in his relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus, and his love for his wife Johanne. Steve talks about how we can do better (within our doctrine) to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and reminds us these good members are in our ward/family circles citing a recent BYU survey where 13% of students indicated they are something “other than straight”. Steve talks about the March 2023 Tour of Israel he is directing for LGBTQ folks and their families, friends, and allies. I encourage you to check this out (see link in show notes). Thank you, Steve for being on the podcast and all you

My friend Karl Beckstrand (single, active LDS writer in his mid-50s) shares his story about being exposed to gay sex at a young age and contending for years between God’s will and how he was relating with others. He learned that nothing takes God by surprise, that God can empower us to live our most fulfilling lives, and that everything can be consecrated to our joy—now and forever. Karl discovered that God won’t take our social needs away, but he can help us meet them in profound and lasting ways. This is a great resource for anyone with questions about faith and LGBTQIA topics. Karl shares more in his book called More Than 2 Paths: Biblical Secrets to Living Your Most Fulfilling LGBTQIA Life. Thank you, Karl, for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many. Thanks for your courage to share it. I encourage others to listen to this episode and read your book. Karl will be signing books Saturday, Nov. 19 (2-5 p.m.) at Marissa's Books & Gifts located 3302 S. 900 E., Salt Lake City, Utah Li