Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Mitchell Harris (any/all) joins us to share their story as a pansexual non-binary Latter-day Saint. Mitchell is a committed Latter-day Saint, served a mission in Mexico City, and is a Math Education major at BYU. Mitchell talks about their early experience and realizing they are queer and their decision to come out in 2019. Mitchell talks about Transmedicalism (something new to me) and how some non-binary/trans people (like Mitchell) do not experience long-term gender dysphoria—yet are trans/non-binary. Mitchell also talks about Church doctrines that help them maintain faith in Christ and why they are a member of the Church. I learned so much from Mitchell. They helped me consider the things I can do in my circle of influence to improve the experience of queer members. The “Body of Christ” is strengthened by having people like Mitchell in it and their contributions. Thank you, Mitchell, for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many. You can find Mitchell on Twitter a

My friend Katherine Herrmann (divorced, father of 7) joins us to talk about her newly published book called “TransLucent: How I put off my natural man and found a spiritual woman” which is focused on her life experiences as an active Latter-day Saint. In the podcast, Katherine shares how she was compelled to write the book and why it’s important. The book explores a twofold journey of understanding her gender identity as a woman, but also as a daughter of God. Learning to overcome her natural man through social and medical transition, but more importantly with obedience, trusting God, following spiritual promptings, and always staying on the covenant path. The book covers her early years, marriage, family, and divorce. A mixture of experiences with Priesthood leadership. Her years giving hugs at General Conference. How she came to bear her testimony in over 40 wards in 3 years. Getting involved in BYU Women’s Conference and as a volunteer for Time Out For Women. Entering the LDS Singles scene attempting to

My friend Madi Davis (Age 19, BYU Student, Pre-Business) courageously shares her journey with pornography use that started at age 13. Madi (who is the first woman on our podcast talking about her own porn use) shares about how this came into her life and the immense shame she encountered, which was further magnified as this is framed as a male problem. She shares feeling as though she is the only one, and finally bravely talking to her Bishop and feeling the power of the atonement in her life. Madi talks about powerful principles and concepts that have helped her understand and solve her porn use—a framework that is much more effective than we have used in the past. Madi also talks about why she is talking about this, how she hopes her future husband will respond, and what she wishes her younger self understood. Madi is brave—bringing this important subject into the light where we can talk about it and work together to solve it. If you are a parent, local leader or working to solve porn use, Madi’s

My friend Paul Reeve (active Latter-day Saint, Simmons Chair of Mormon Studies at University of Utah, author, married father of six) joins us to talk about his new book (published by Deseret Book) called “Let’s Talk about Race and Priesthood.” This book (forward written by Darius A. Gray) shares the historical facts and personal stories around this important topic. Paul has divided the book into three sections: Phase One: Universal Priesthood and Temples Phase Two: Segregated Priesthood and Temples Phase Three: A Return to Racial Inclusivity Paul talks about why this book is needed, how racism still is a challenge in our Church, how understanding our history—even the difficult chapters—is essential to healing and coming together to create Zion. In addition to the historical facts, Paul humanizes this topic by sharing stories of black Latter-day Saints impacted by priesthood and temple restrictions. I believe it is the responsibility of Latter-day Saints to know our history. I encourage all of

Dr. Melissa Inouye, someone I deeply admire and respect, joins us to talk about a new book she and Kate Holbook (who died in August 2022) edited called “Every Needful Thing: Essays on the Life of the Mind and the Heart.” The book is a collection of twenty-two essays from accomplished academic and professional Latter-day Saint women. Melissa talks about why she and Kate decided to create this book, why this book is needed, and who is the audience. Melissa talks about gospel principles of belonging, learning, extending the stakes of Zion, and the systematic societal imbalances that work against us hearing and valuing women’s stories. The book is published by Deseret Book and BYU Maxwell Institute. Melissa also talks about how the School of the Prophets is a living framework for the restoration and how D&C 88 is bases for this book. Melissa also shares some of her personal story from a feeling in High School of being drawn to academia—and how that became a reality of her life—a story that gives p

My friend Taylor Smith (married father of 5, active LDS, born in Canada, lives in Maryland) joins us to share an extended version of a talk he gave in Church back in September 2022 about his journey to better see, mourn and support those in our Church who may have a harder road to walk (women, black members, LGBTQ members, those with honest questions, etc). Taylor talks about how in recent years he has experienced a paradigm shift that has allowed him to more genuinely love and support these individuals—amongst some wrestling’s of his own—while he stays a committed Latter-day Saint. Taylor shares quotes from church leaders, scriptures, and gospel principles about how we can better create Zion—and move from saying theoretically that there is a place for everyone in the church, towards actually creating that place in reality. He becomes emotional at times when he shares some of his experiences of listening and sitting with the pain of those walking a harder road. It is hard to put into a podcast description

I asked my friends at HXP (formerly HEFY) to come on the podcast and introduce this non-profit providing Latter-day Saint youth trips around the world. We joined by: Amy Antonelli: CEO Kelsi Christensen: Chief Innovations Officer Hannes Du Randt: Program Designer/Trip Leader The HXP teams introduces HXP, its worldwide trips (288 scheduled for the Summer of 2023; almost all full), the needs for parent builders, its goals and hopes. The team goes on to talk about the hopes to positively impact youth (95% are Latter-day Saint Youth and all Trip Leaders are active Latter-day Saints) to feel God’s love for them and other people around the world—as the engage in sustainable and impactful humanitarian projects. They talk about sign up for 2024 trips (enrollment opens in early November 2023). Each HXP members share some of their story including Amy finding worth/value/perspective as a single Latter-day Saints, Kelsi serving a mission in Brazil, a people she loved, and connecting with the Japanese pe

My friend (and former YSA) joins us to bravely talk about the pain and trauma experienced as a nanny in Germany. Emily later returned to Germany and served in the same area—and had a chance encounter with those responsible for her pain/trauma and talks about feelings of God’s love for them. However, feeling God’s love for them and forgiveness, didn’t fully resolve the trauma as Emily was still rejecting herself. Emily bravely shares her journey to see, address, and solve trauma. It’s a remarkable story. A story that will help others working to solve trauma and those wanting to help them. Thank you, Emily, for being on the podcast. I learned so much from you. I wish I had understood the principles and concepts you shared much earlier. Thank you your courage to be on the podcast. You are awesome! Links mentioned in the podcast: Emily Coaching Business: www.growwithzoella.com

My friend Geri Broadbent joins us to share the story of her husband Dan who died at age 43 after an 6-year battle cancer. Geri talks about the years (some during COVID) of his cancer treatments and his passing in December of 2021. She talks about the things she did to find hope and support during his battle and after his passing. She talks about the courage of her husband Dad and how she found to best support him. She talks about things family and friends did that were helpful—and how we can do better. She talks about life after Dan including Church (Geri in an active Latter-day Saint), therapy, finding hope and healing, and supporting her four children. If you have lost your spouse or a loved one—or are looking to better support someone walking this road, I encourage you to listen to Geri’s story. She is vulnerable, brave, real, insightful—with unique insights to find hope and healing. Thank you, Geri, for being on the podcast. You did a great job of honoring your good husband Dan and brin

My friend Bonnie Young (active Latter-day Saint, LMFT, married mother of two) joins us to talk about her groundbreaking new book, "Sex Educated: Letters from a Latter-day Saint Therapist to Her Younger Self." While Bonnie wrote this book mainly for Latter-day Saint women who desire to maturely and compassionately reflect on their own sexual journeys, it can also be used as a tool and resource for parents, Latter-day Saint couples, fathers of daughters, and for younger Latter-day Saints who are searching for faith-based and research-backed sexual education. Each chapter of the book is a letter that Bonnie writes to her younger self, and each letter has a different focus. The contents of the letters explore the importance of learning about sex, the goodness of sex, consent, modesty and maturation, the centrality of women's sexual development and experiences, healing from sexual shame, and more. I was deeply moved listening to Bonnie’s insights about the important and sensitive topic— I wish I had a book l

My friend Emma Edwins (Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy; Licensed Clinical Counselor, who was on Episode 598) joins us to update her story. Emma, a convert and active Latter-day Saint, shares answers to questions she is receiving. Emma talks about a thoughtful and balanced approach to supporting others who experience gender dysphoria and are considering transitioning. Emma also talks about making this conversation about listening, understanding and being open to learning—and not fear based narratives. If you are looking to better understand and support transgender Latter-day Saints, Emma’s story will help you. And if you have feelings of gender dysphoria, Emma’s insights will help you. Thank you, Emma, for being on the podcast. You are a remarkable woman doing much good in many circles. You are helping us create Zion. Honored to have you on the podcast! Podcast links: Emma’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMcGpe-zLbY Emma’s email: storiesoflatterdayfaith@g

My friend Jacob Guy, (RM, FSY Counselor, Weber State Student) joins us to share his story. Jacob talks about his spiritual journey and temple attendance to come out to himself and others about 18 months ago. That included breaking off a serious relationship with a woman. Jacob shares a powerful visual analogy of being locked out of the house of happy married straight people and not having a key to open the door—one of the most powerful examples I’ve heard. Jacob talks about his rock-solid relationship with Jesus and how He is helping him find hope and peace concurrently with the unknowns of his future. Jacob reads from his from his scriptures to share some of his favorite stories of Jesus and the principles Jesus teaching that apply to all of our lives. I was deeply moved hearing Jacob’s courageous, no-shame, spiritually mature story—including deep peace and acceptance of his sexual orientation. If you are in the process of coming out (even to yourself), Jacob’s story will help you. If you

** Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault** My friend Sherry Cassel bravely shares her story of being a survivor of sexual assault (from infancy until after her mission) and ongoing verbal and physical assault well into adulthood. Further, Sherry talks about how she became sexually active after her mission (partly because it was the only way she had been programed to feel loved) and having three children out of wedlock from three different men. Sherry talks about her love for these wonderful children. Sherry talks about being diagnosed with Complex PTSD and her road to dealing, accepting, and working to solve her mental health issues resulting from long-term trauma. Sherry talks about the beautiful relationship she has with her children (two with temple marriages and the third a member of the LGBTQ+ community who is navigating well in life through their own mental illness journey). She also talks about her patriarchal blessing and the importance of that blessing into her eternal destiny and also finding p

My friend Bonnie Lyman (active LDS, life coach, lives in Spokane, two of five children not participating in the Church) joins us to share her story. Bonnie (who is her 70’s and has been on this road for more than two decades) shares her story of finding peace and hope—and love for all her family. Bonnie has powerful gospel insights to find joy, peace, love for all her kids and how her dreams for her eternal family have not changed. I was deeply moved by Bonnie and her maturity to deal with the complexities of life and still find peace, love and hope. She is in a remarkable place of peace—and her story will help all of us find the same. If you have people you love choosing different paths, I invite you to listen to this podcast and connect with Bonnie and her work. Thank you, Bonnie, for being on the podcast. I was deeply moved hearing your story. You voice and work in so needed in our community! Links mentioned in the podcast: Bonnie’s life coach web site: https://www.bonnielyman.com/

My friend Kali Olsen (RM, BYU-I student, married to a man) shares her story as a bisexual Latter-day Saint. Kali talks about her journey to understand and then accept her sexual orientation. Kali also shares coming out to her fiancé McKay and his support (they were married in April 2022). Kali goes on to discuss why she decided to come out more broadly on social media to help support other LGBTQ people. Kali then talks about how we can do better as Latter-day Saints to support our LGBTQ members and create a safe space for people of all political parties. If you are an LGBTQ Latter-day Saint or want to know how to support them better, I encourage you to listen to Kali’s podcast. Great job Kali! Your story will help so many. Thank you for your courage to be on the podcast. Links mentioned in the podcast: Kali’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kali.crawford.7/ Kali’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kali.j.olsen/ Kali’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/kalic_justine

My friend Chris Kimball (married father of three, grandfather of eleven, and as he says, a 'retired' bishop, a 'retired' professor, and a 'retired' lawyer) joins us to share his unique Latter-day Saint journey. Chris shares some of his personal story which includes deciding more than 25 years ago to no longer sit for worthiness interviews and as a result to not hold a temple recommend, and nevertheless stay a participating member of the Church. Chris shares why he doesn’t hold a recommend and some of how he stays in the Church. The long journey has led to Chris writing a book called “Living on the Inside of the Edge: A Survival Guide”. The purpose of the book is to help other Latter-day Saints in a faith transition/faith crisis who have a goal to stay in the Church. The book would also be helpful for local leaders and parents who are looking for new tools/perspectives to help those in a faith crisis/transition who are working to find an authentic way to stay in the Church. That said, Chris inf

My friend Zach and Darcy Spafford (who were on Episode 376) join us to talk about solving pornography use as a couple. Zach talks about opening up to his wife about his pornography use and how they worked together to address and solve it. It is a powerful story that helps others walking this road find hope and healing. Both Zach and Darcy share insights, principles, and strategies to address, and solve porn use and thrive as a couple. Zach and Darcy now help other couples who are struggling with unwanted porn as their full-time business—which is much needed in our community. I encourage everyone working to solve porn use or wanting to help others, to listen to this podcast. I learned so much from Zach and Darcy and their experience. Thank you, Zach and Darcy, for your courage to be in this space to help others. You are making a difference for good in our community. Links mentioned in the podcast: Podcast: Thrive Beyond Pornography https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thrive-beyond-pornogr

My friend Will Edgel (who was on Episode 78 recorded nearly four years ago) joins us to update listeners on his life journey and his professional work as a gay man’s wellness coach. Will talks about having a boyfriend and also being an active Latter-day Saint and how he is navigating this road. Will then talks about his professional work as a wellness coach to release shame and help individuals move forward in their lives in a healthy and balanced way. Will shares many excellent insights that I believe helps our listeners. Concepts like: “life is much better on the other side of shame”, “differences between decisions and choices”, and finding worth and peace through “self validation”. If you are a queer Latter-day Saint, I believe the principles and perspective Will shares will help you. And if you are looking for community and wellness resources, you might check out willedgel.com Thank you will for being on the podcast and your good work to bring hope and healing. Your voice and work is nee

My friend Susan Siddoway (active LDS, married, mother of 6 and grandmother to 13) shared story of her daughter Holly who left the church, identified as bisexual, struggled with addiction, was single and pregnant and died at age 33 in 2019. Susan shares gospel principles, doctrinal insights and church leader statements that strengthened her love and support for her daughter. She talks of the light and knowledge that came to her about Holly’s journey here on earth, how she was so much more than someone who left the church and had addictions. She saw Holly as a beloved child of Heavenly Parents, who was serving and helping others. Susan tells of the many people who lined up to speak to her after Holly’s funeral services, telling about the light she had been to them and how she blessed their lives. She speaks of the heartbreaking decision Holly made to place her baby for adoption. Her strong feeling that a gay couple should adopt. The wonderful relationship Susan and her family have with these two won

My friend Zach Davis (married father of three, graduate of BYU and Harvard Divinity School) joins us to talk about Wayfare—a new magazine launched by Faith Matters in late 2022. Zach talks about the purpose of and vision for the magazine and how it is a community effort and how individuals can get involved in producing content for Wayfare. Zach also talks about Faith Matters—its purpose and vision and plans for second Restore in October of 2023 (Zach shares the actual dates and location in the podcast). Zach also shares some of his personal story to find his career path and principles and perspectives to help others make their way forward. I was deeply moved hearing more of Zach’s story. Thank you, Zach, for being on the podcast. Your personal story and work at Faith Matters is blessing many. And thank you to everyone involved at Faith Matters for your much needed work in our community. Links mentioned: Wayfare Magazine: https://www.wayfaremagazine.org/ Faith Matters: https://faithmatter