The Chick Whisperer Podcast

With the milestone 200th episode, it's fun to consider how far we've come, yet how many of the core ideas we still talk about have evolved. Big thanks to Eben Pagan (aka David DeAngelo) and the team at Double Your Dating for making this classic recording of my 2007 Interviews With Dating Gurus available to you as a free download for the very first time. It's truly like a blast through everything foundational here at X & Y Communications, which is fitting since it's the interview that basically put us on the map. Back then, getting this gig was for a dating coach like appearing on The Tonight Show was for a stand-up comic. We talk about deserving what you want, why self-help tactics usually fail, how (and why) to date multiple women on the way to meeting 'the one', and how I decided to get married. You'll get the first mention of 'the big four' ever, discover what an 'I/J' is and why high-quality women avoid them, hear the case for why chivalry still matters, and get a load of the one simple (and now infam

Okay, this is going to be a sticky episode for many of you guys, as it contains plenty of potentially incendiary ideas that will rip the scabs off of old wounds. But it's all for the greater good, as you'll see. We'll uncover the types of traumas many of us endure during childhood, and shine the light on how it all affects us as grown men. According to my guest, psychotherapist Riana Milne, virtually all of us experience at least some of these traumatic experiences growing up, and I'm inclined to believe her. Having gotten to know Riana and her work, she has earned my genuine respect, as helping heal brokenness is arduous, messy work. So heads up, when Riana starts going over the top ten traumas kids tend to face, it really is going to stir the pot for many of us...starting with why there is more dysfunctional trauma going on now than in years past, and a greater number of psychopaths out there as well. Next, find out the nature of Jekyll and Hyde relationships and why they're so devastating. What is up with

Over the past four years or so, the idea of The Hero's Journey has come up more and more often. My guest has built his entire practice around it, so for this episode we decided to go beyond the basic definitions and examples and do a deep dive. So for starters, what is it about this archetypal rendition of the classic hero story that is so riveting to us as men? Joseph Campbell's idea of powerful myth has fueled atheistic thought, but is that really the only logical perspective one can take? How does The Hero's Journey speak to universal truth not only in how we as humans attempt to comprehend the universe, but also in how we process the pattern of our own lives? And what's more, how does it all matter to YOU in becoming the best 'big four' man of character you can be? What does The Hero's Journey tell us about patience, virtue and the importance of mentorship? Why is it so important to leave home, only to ultimately return? How does The Hero's Journey narrative help us reconcile 'Imposter Syndrome'? Who is '

You don't have to be fictional--or dead--to be legendary. My guest Tommy Breedlove quite literally wrote the book on it. He joins us to talk about how to man up and reinvent ourselves in order to make a real, measurable difference in this life. So first off, what's the very foundation of becoming legendary? And what does being legendary even mean? How do women view and respond to legendary men? Do you have to be world famous in order to be legendary? What if we struggle to feel like we're 'enough'? How can we start today on our own path to legendary status? What are the new habits we need to develop over the longer term? Next, Tommy reveals the arch enemies of maximizing your core purpose...and wait until you hear the shocking place those enemies hail from. What is the best advice for sticking to what's good and avoiding the 'dark side'? On that note, what gets into certain men's minds leading them to become 'legendary' bad guys, anyway? How can we know the cause we're to become legendary for really is a good

Mark Edward Davis has been a men's coach for years now, and he's the right guest to join me for the topic of 'panic proofing' ourselves...which has been on my mind since the COVID-19 disruption started. We jump right in, starting with how masculinity is integrally linked to staying calm and collected under pressure, and what it actually looks like to be 'the rock' when a storm hits. What is the stark difference between those who panic and those remain calm and lead? Hint: it's ridiculously simple and uncomplicated What is the secret to rising above potential feelings of inadequacy or even 'Imposter Syndrome' to lead in the midst of crisis? How about a real, practical way to literally be the voice of calm? Mark reveals the difference between smart soldiers and dead ones...in other words, why thousands of stormtroopers get shot in Star Wars when none of the main characters do. What do the most respected US presidents in recent history have in common? How can we build the habit of having 'field sense' during int

My long time friend David Shade is the undisputed master of giving women incredible pleasure. He returns to the show once again to deliver powerful insights into what it will be like relating to women after the current quarantine is over and the 'all clear' sign is given. So how about it? What is the 'new normal' going to be after COVID-19, especially as it relates to women and sex? David offers his thoughts, in context with the fact he is 64 and has a 20-year-old girlfriend. That's not a typo, and you'll hear not only exactly how he made that happen, but why it's not unusual for him. Doesn't he ever feel like he's babysitting...I mean, they're not even old enough to drink? Wait until you hear his shocking answer. That leads to his take on female sexual maturity, and how we as men can be more sexually mature even in our twenties. What does David have to say about giving women what they need in order for them to give you what you want? Will it surprise you to hear David talk about women being in charge? It sho

Beyond the catchy phrase, what exactly was my long-time friend Dr. Jed Diamond talking about when he coined the term 'Disconnection Syndrome'? Well for starters, you'll find out it's far more complex than people merely being separated from each other. It's a systemic issue that's been brewing for years now, and affects even our relationship with self. To kick off the conversation, Jed defines Disconnection Syndrome and explains how it's directly responsible for many of the ongoing social issues we see in today's world. Discover how this transcends the interpersonal to include how we interact with the world itself, as evidenced by some of the perhaps unexpected environmental effects of the current global pandemic. Meanwhile, what are some of the negative effects that purely electronic interaction has on our real, human abilities to connect? Are there subtle ways we've cheapened our sense of connection without even realizing it? Discover the surprising answers to these questions, along with the shocking ways ou

For those of us who live what I call 'The Suburban Sleepwalk', the present COVID-19 pandemic has represented one of the most profound challenges of our lifetime. We can't just watch this unfold on television...we're LIVING it. Obviously, having our proverbial 'cheese moved' is inherently painful, especially when our relationships and our very livelihood are disrupted. Even though such disruption feels like an imminent threat, how do we not only survive but thrive in context? What if instead of losing our sense of humor we found it? How can we turn lemons into lemonade? And does having our world shaken up quite literally challenge us to reevaluate what is important and valuable to us? Meanwhile, were the survival and preparedness guys really on to something here? What can we expect to be different in our lives--and in the world writ large--once the 'all clear' signal is given? Can we look forward to a kinder, friendlier and perhaps even cleaner world to live in, or will people simply revert back to their respe

My guest, Alison Pena is known as 'The Bad Widow', and you're about to find out why. Just a few short years ago she found herself heartbroken by the loss of her beloved husband, who passed after a brief illness. But in the midst of her considerable grief and gritting her way through picking up the pieces, something remarkable happened. As you listen to her, you'll quickly realize her story is not only inspiring and unexpectedly uplifting, it's also as powerful a roadmap to understanding and relating to widowed women as you've ever imagined. And of course, if you've lost the love of your life yourself, this episode promises to be a source of inspiration for you. In this episode, we tackle all of the most confusing, frustrating and heartwrenching issues, beginning with why people's behavior tends to be so ironic toward those who are near death. And what about how weird people also get when you've experienced deep personal loss? Wait until you hear Alison's brave and ingenious plan to cut through that shame and

I have to tip my hat to my guest, Matt Sinkovitz. Not only has he taken on the topic of how porn affects our lives, he's made it his primary gig. Right out of the gate, we address the concept of porn addiction. You'll appreciate Matt's candid take on this loaded topic. And with the global percentage of Internet traffic that's porn-related, could it be true that virtually everyone is watching it? In that context, how does a guy reconcile his deep feelings of shame and guilt over doing so? What are some of the particularly jarring and at times unexpected sources and consequences of that shame? Do most men really have schlongers as big as male porn stars? Are all porn actresses being exploited and/or trafficked? Isn't porn sex nothing like real-world sex anyway? What's the real-world difference between watching porn and satisfying oneself using pure imagination? Should getting a hot girlfriend or wife be a reasonable cure for the desire to watch porn? Is there a correlation between porn usage and other negative

Want to feel more alive, pursue your passions, make women love you and score some extra money on top of all else? Two words: side hustle. My guest Nick Loper is the man with the plan, and he joins us for the long-overdue deep dive on the subject. So what exactly is a side hustle? And how come nobody ever uses the term 'moonlighting' in the online entrepreneurial space? What does it take to let our ideas become reality and how does that make us feel more alive? Next, we talk about how to launch a side hustle that matters, including specific action steps. Why is starting a side biz like online dating? What is Nick's 'buy buttons theory'? And what if you can't seem to come up with any genius, original ideas? (As a bonus, this is also a ninja strategy for developing your stand-up comedy routine!) How does Nick's 'what sucks' exercise relate to all of this? As counter-intuitive as it sounds, how can building a new source of income actually increase your overall freedom as opposed to bogging you down with more busy

Man, isn't it true how some people grow older, but they somehow never grow up? My guest is Josh Burnette, author of Adulting 101, and he has very specific theories as to how and why this happens. What's going on in our minds when we opt to avoid evolving into mature, responsible adults? Is what we're holding onto really better than what we gain by growing up? Obviously, being a child--or worse, a Neanderthal--isn't attractive to women at all, and it won't ever advance your career. Is there a 'bigger picture' to adulting that extends beyond our sense of self? What is more important to a true adult than mere happiness? What are some of the key life lessons that adults have figured out? And what does Josh do to motivate guys toward adulthood? What specific tips does he give? And who's going to be around for guys in real life to lead by example? What happened in Josh's life when he got married and became a father? Clearly, one must BE and adult before one can effectively raise kids, right? So wait a minute, does

Let's face it. If I know anything about you guys who listen to this show, it's that you're not getting any sleep. It may seem heroic now, but it's not healthy and it's pretty much killing us. Enter Mollie McGlocklin, a sleep optimization expert who knows how to put this topic to bed, once and for all. Fortunately, she didn't take my advice and call her upcoming new podcast 'Sleep With Mollie' or 'Let's Go To Bed'. She wisely chose 'Sleep Is A Skill' as her brand, and her mission is to give us a wake up call when it comes to healthy sleep. So don't worry, sleepyhead...this ain't one of those weird but crazy-popular podcasts designed for insomniacs. So then, what did Mollie discover through her own sleepless experiences? And why is it that we have such a harder time getting to sleep in today's world? Why is everyone up all night and getting up at the crack of lunch? How exactly is that making us sicker? Meanwhile, is there really an ideal sleep amount, or does that vary? Why do older folks actually need less sl

Well, if there has ever been an overdue topic, this one is it. On this show we shamelessly discuss the 'm word', courtesy of my charming guest Helena Nista. Helena is originally from Poland and now living in Australia. She is a sex therapist, tantric practitioner and occasional body worker (yes, it's what you think). According to her, the body is capable of 'tons and tons of multi-layered amazing, ecstatic, blissful pleasurable experiences', and she is all about helping us realize those blissful states. She believes that practicing with oneself allows us as men to achieve better sexual control and discover more intense, full-body orgasmic experiences. Discover the fascinating reasons why most people are so bad at self-pleasuring, perhaps without even realizing it. What does Helena have to say about the No-Fap Movement? Do men lose their sexual energy when they masturbate? And what makes her so confident that she knows how men experience orgasms, even as a woman? Discover why Helena believes self-pleasure is f

My guest Rob Kowalski grew up without a dad, and ended up becoming a male stripper in his early adult years. Finally, after leading a rambunctious life of sex and debauchery with countless women, he had a faith conversion experience which inspired him to stop having sex outside the bonds of holy matrimony. Now in his mid-forties, Rob is still unmarried...and yes, he's still not having sex. In most faith based settings, both teens and adults are simply told to stay away from sex until marriage, without really being told why. But in this episode, you'll hear Rob's resolute, logical case for abstention until marriage, and why even masturbation is out of bounds. Are people getting the timing of marriage all wrong vis-a-vis modern postponement of adulthood? And how does the virtue of delayed gratification enter into all of this? And is sex outside of marriage inherently disrespectful, if not downright abusive to women because they're wired differently? What if the big disconnect really is that we as men are still

When my co-host Jennifer Dougherty was in the business world, she started to feel a bit burned out. What did she do to pull herself out of that conundrum and change her mindset? Well, it all led to her to write a book on how she beat burnout and got focused. How can you too genuinely come to grips with what your dreams really are, and why you're dreaming them? And what if you're already doing that which you genuinely dreamed of doing, and yet are still feeling crispy around the edges? How does that mess with your productivity, let alone your mindset? How do talent, passion, strategy and hard work intersect to contribute to dream realization? What are the ironic bad feelings people can experience even after apparently accomplishing what they dreamed of doing? Are dreams overrated, given how people tend to feel once they've fulfilled them? Is it unreasonable and possibly even counter-productive to encourage our kids to dream big? And what of the idea that we often don't even realize what we wanted all along unt

You guys tend to love those shows where we do a deep dive into a particularly intelligent realm of thought and seek out truly profound breakthroughs. When I happened across a piece by my long-time Danish friend Michael Lassen on virtuous patience vs. simply waiting around, I instinctively knew it was a moral imperative as men to have him on the show. So for starters, what's the difference between accepting and embracing a certain situation? Is waiting really a virtue? And what's the concrete difference between waiting and patience? Further, is patience meant to be aimed at achieving perfection, or is that counter-productive? How patient should you be when the woman you want is dating another guy who is no good for her? Discover Michael's three-faceted approach to gaining personal power, regardless of the outcome of any particular situation. Then, find out what my own personal interaction with Navy SEALs has revealed about how they are trained to harness personal power in the exact same way. Also, if patience

We never want to let things get too straight-laced around here, so for a change of pace I 'talk smack' this episode with my new friend Jillian Keenan, who is an international journalist and spanking expert. So the obvious first question is how does one become a spanking expert to begin with? Jillian's surprising answer sets the tone for the rest of the show, beginning with why women LOVE to be spanked during sex, and how spanking takes on profound sexual importance for some. Next, discover the mindblowing physiology behind why women find spanking sexually pleasurable. What is the difference between spanking as a kink vs. as a fetish? Why is it that spanking is so closely tied to playful flirtation? And of course, I'd be in for a 'red ass' if I didn't acknowledge how the classic representations of spanking in film didn't factor into all this. Is scolding--or even downright disciplinary shame--a part of what makes spanking so sexy? What goes on at organized 'spanking parties'? What is a 'service switch'? And ho

My new friend and fellow 'Balti-moron' Dave Elliot talks about relationships between men and women in a visceral, down-to-earth manner that I'm sure you're going to appreciate. Among his numerous interesting ideas is his brilliant A.L.L.W.A.Y.S. framework for predicting whether or not a relationship is built to last. After all, you and your woman want to always stay together, but there are also all sorts of ways to stay together. So first off, how is it that some people can date for literally years, but their marriage is wrecked within just a few months of saying 'I do'? And on the other hand, what are those seven major factors that genuinely and accurately determine whether or not a couple will defy the divorce rate odds and be happy together for decades? Dave and I talk clearly and candidly about what it takes. This episode is all about knowing your own values and avoiding the fear of going deep with a woman you've just met only to encounter bitter disappointment...and instead boldly seeking out and finding

This episode may come off as a bit weird up front, as it's the first show we've ever published to BOTH The Mountain Top and X & Y On The Fly feeds. But hey...we figured this is a timely conversation everyone can and should have, and also (more obviously) we're co-hosting this one together. So on with it... In this fast-paced show we talk candidly--and at times controversially--about how dating, relating and even socializing itself have changed in the last decade, and how we ourselves control what the next decade holds. What about online dating, apps and social media? Shouldn't it be easier than ever for men and women to meet, attract each other and build relationships? But instead, men and women appear to have lost touch with how to relate to each other. It's as if we as a human race have gotten better than ever at mere social manipulation, and place a higher value on that than real connection. As a result, are people justified in questioning the value of even pursuing a relationship nowadays? Have people