The Chick Whisperer Podcast

The idea for this episode on dying well--or dying gallantly and with dignity, if you will--has been on my radar screen for quite a while. The issue was finding the right guest to make it as powerful a show as it deserves to be. Enter my new friend Larry Indiviglia. First off, Larry is a United States Naval Academy graduate, so he knows plenty about duty, honor and sacrifice. On top of that, however, he had the particularly notable experience just this year of meeting a woman who was dying of cancer, falling in love, and being by her side until the very end. He has written a book about that experience, and in this show shares his unique and powerful thoughts of a life well-lived to the very last breath. So for starters, what exactly does it mean to die well? Despite the archetypal theme of going out in a blaze of glory, is that reasonable--or even possible? Why are such themes in stories like Gran Torino and Breaking Bad so incredibly fascinating and alluring to us as men? Is it necessarily true that we die al

Get ready for an empowering, uplifting show at precisely the time in history when we could all use it. My long-time friend and all-around nice lady Iris Benrubi joins me to talk about personal power. In particular, we're revealing and discussing those little hidden places in your life where you can actually DO something. But to start off, we wonder aloud why so many people seem to actively want to retreat into victimhood, despite the negative impact that has on confidence and self-esteem. It's no wonder that the idea of personal agency all starts with figuring out what we actually want and how to get it, right? And is it true you're going to end up exactly like your parents, no matter what? Could it be true that doing the exact opposite of what you're conditioned to could be just as disempowering as simply falling in line with groupthink? How does the tangle between opportunity and consequences affect our psychological mindset? Do we really have to hit rock bottom and lose all that makes us comfortable before

Okay, here it is. We don't talk about marriage very often on this show. Simply put, it's a topic that tends to polarize the audience. Nevertheless, you really can't expect to cover all of the bases when it comes to dating and relationships without ever addressing it. Enter my guest Amy Schoen, who specializes in the field of marriage readiness. Together she and I decided that a particularly fun and useful angle would be to talk about what it means to be 'marriage material'. Now, to be sure this pretty much aligns with the concepts of 'boyfriend material' and 'girlfriend material'. So then, this show offers equal opportunity visibility into what indicates long-term potential for either a man or a woman. Interestingly enough, even when women aren't particularly looking for a serious relationship, they still tend to be super-attracted to men with qualities that indicate long-term potential. Perhaps weirdly, that is even often the case when they're looking for a quick fling. So do I have your attention yet? What

My guest is best known for his work on introversion, but the topic of this show is sure to hit the target regardless of your personality type. At its essence, it's all about how to be influential. So what's the right way and the wrong way to do that? I mean, isn't attention seeking for insecure, needy guys and self-promotion for douches? And hold on...isn't this whole desire to be seen, known, remembered somewhat narcissistic at its very core? Well, none of that is necessarily true. That can only mean there's an altogether better and more effective way to be truly memorable, which Nick and I discuss in sometimes alarming, at times unexpected, but always encouraging detail. And let's not kid ourselves. Even if you're not entirely motivated to conquer the world and leave your mark on a grand scale, that relatively low-key lifestyle you're content with may even be at risk if you fail to be influential in any measurable way. So then, what are the first outward steps to having more of an impact on those around us?

Everyone has heard about how men have a feminine side and women a masculine one. How true is that? And if it's the case, how does the concept typically manifest itself? Is it a good thing, or is it something we would be better off minimizing the effects of? And wait a minute...are the traits and behaviors that we somewhat automatically consider masculine or feminine really such, or are they simply human? What if all of this is just a social construct to begin with? But what if it isn't? Then what? Does that change the whole perspective? I mean, if masculinity is 'toxic' as we're led to believe nowadays, why are so many women trying to act like men? What if we all migrated toward the feminine instead? But can't there be such a thing as 'toxic femininity' in that case? After all, is femininity always 'soft' and inherently innocuous? And what of the idea that masculine dominance is sexy to women...how can that be? How come there are tomboys but no such thing as a tomgirl? What do single moms have to do with all

Fresh off of his Oval Office interview with The President, author and editor of America's 1st Freedom Magazine Frank Miniter returns to the show for a deep dive into how to rise above all the fearmongering going on in today's media. As Kipling wrote, a real man keeps his head when all about him are losing theirs, and this episode gets to the heart of that matter. To begin with, what exactly is it that's driving a culture of non-stop fearmongering these days? Can it really be only about the election...and will it therefore stop after November 3rd? What decidedly human element is nearly always lacking in a culture of fearmongering, yet acts as the perfect antidote for it? How can you be a flat-out disruptive force against rampant fear right now in a way that will make women love, love, love you for it? And how about fear itself...what is it? Is it binary? Should we learn how to deal with it and perhaps harness it, or eliminate it altogether? You'll hear what famous men of courage have said about that in the pas

Far too much conversation nowadays has been reduced to ad hominem name calling, especially on social media. There's no question it's pedantic, anti-masculine and therefore decidedly unattractive to women. Nevertheless, it seems like emotions are running at a fever pitch and sober judgment is going out the window. In the midst of all that, how do we secure our rightful place as mature, civil men of character? And what can we do to reclaim it if we've found ourselves slipping lately? Well, my guest Ed Wynn is best known for his political commentary, but his latest book We The People gets to the heart of the subject du jour. So what's the best way to set the tone for a civil conversation from the very start? How can you guard against falling into the trap of sneaky internet trolls? Why is it people nowadays have turned everything political, are so dogmatic and judge different views so harshly? Has narrative-driven cognitive dissonance really replaced rational logic? Is it really possible to 'choose truth over fa

Let's face it, everything about the year 2020 thus far has compelled most people to hide in their homes for fear of going out in public. My guest today is the author of Live Great Lifestyle and The Lean Body Guide, and his number one battle these days is helping men just like you and I to stand up and get back out there. So then, we know the obvious reasons why so many of us have become homebodies these days, but what are the sneakier, more subtle ones? For starters, have you put on the 'lockdown 15' and want to get rid of it? What are some ways you can take back both your physical and psychological well-being? And how do you do that if you've lost your job, let alone have the time, money or wherewithal to figure out where to meet women nowadays? What if 2020 has delivered a major hit to your confidence in general? What kind of havoc does that wreak on your mental toughness...sometimes in dangerously subtle ways? How might this year be wearing on you such that you're less attractive to women? So what it reall

My guest is one of those guys who had the grit and determination to go 'all in' on his dreams, laying it all on the line to become a pro basketball player. Even more fascinating is the story of how he eventually found his larger calling of empowering young athletes to greatness, while inspiring all of us to find our game and be at the top of it. Now, if you're like me, basketball isn't exactly your most marketable skill. But no worries, Dre Baldwin's message will motivate you to take your game to the next level, whatever it is. So for sure, we talk hoops some to get the show rolling, but you know how sneaky I am. It takes about a minute and a half before we're tying it all back to having the heart of a champion, overachieving and breaking apart any roadblocks standing in our way. That conversation had to start with none other than Mike, of course. What was it about MJ that was so transcendent in terms of redefining what it means to be at the top of one's game? As for Dre himself, how did he go from pro basket

When my guest Jed Jurchenko first got married, he assumed everything would go wonderfully because, well...that's how it's supposed to work, right? Little did he know he was in for a total train wreck. Emerging from that rocky first marriage, Jed sought to understand how to build a relationship around mutual trust, a sane mindset and solid communication skills. Indeed, it's not that couples won't ever disagree, but what is the best way to handle conflict when it arises? Well, for starters you'll discover the number one best philosophy for virtually eliminating hateful, spiteful arguments...and it might not be what you think. What's the best way to effectively resolve an argument, and how exactly do you know when it has indeed been resolved? What are examples of 'atomic bombs' that should be avoided at all costs during relational conflict? If you have a long history of being 'Mr. Nice Guy' in relationships, what are the ramifications of that? And how can you proactively guard against future arguments even as yo

What do you get when you have a guy who looks like Tyler Childers but talks with a Mid-Atlantic accent? Someone completely different than you're used to, and that's my main man and fellow dating coach for men Ryan Black. As it turns out, he and I are both getting asked the same question over and over nowadays, and that's how in the world to meet women given the present state of things. Well, you have questions, and we have answers...starting with a look at how the situation is both radically different from AND exactly the same as it ever was. How has the COVID-19 lockdown impacted our dating lives in unexpected ways? Speaking of which, how does wearing a mask really, truly affect approaching, meeting and attracting women? And more importantly, what do you DO about it? For sure, the pandemic isn't exactly over just yet, but what are the real reasons why women seem to be shying away from actually meeting in-person, even as the world has started opening back up? You can absolutely expect real, practical ways to

Returning guest Helena Nista is a sex therapist, tantra practitioner and author of Legendary Lover. She was a major hit with you guys the first time she was on due to her straightforward yet happy-go-lucky style, all the while absolutely free of shame while exuding pure class and femininity. That's a winning combination, so I invited her back this time to discuss how we as men should talk to women about orgasms...then actually give them all they can handle. What better place to start such a conversation than with the idea of 'mental foreplay'? Why is it that women can talk so naturally about sexual matters, yet most men freak out over it? Should we even talk about sex at all? Why not just make a move when the time is right? But wait a minute...when exactly IS the right time? Dial up the flirtation, thrill women to the moon and back, and make them come back for more. Helena spills all the secrets, and is as charming as ever as she does. And how about when we're actually in the bedroom? How can we guard against

Can you believe we've never covered this topic in all the years of doing this show? But my guest Marcus Oakey from the UK is absolutely the right man for the job, given that he has been a professional charisma coach for over a decade now. So what is charisma, anyway? And why is it so elusive? Well, whatever it is, we can agree that those who exhibit it tend to do so effortlessly, or at least seemingly so. Are there different types of charisma? Can you fine-tune your persona to be uniquely charismatic? Is it possible to be charismatic without having to be the life of the party? What is 'The Unbreakable Law'? What's up with the term 'is-ness'? And what does Marcus mean by being in a constant state of 'maybe'? What is the key difference between power and strength? How do regular, normal people respond to an unusually charismatic social interaction in unexpected ways? And hold on...what's the difference between being socially advanced beyond most people and downright creepy? How do we get to that unconsciously co

For the first time ever, I welcome two guests on the show at once. The Collinses (aka SiMalCo) are living proof of what happens when two people who are way too smart and educated for their own good find love together. They’re serial entrepreneurs, world travelers, polymaths and—most importantly for our purposes at hand—commenters on life, sex and relationships. So the topic du jour came to pass based on the idea expressed in their book of how humans use lures to attract a mate. Buckle up, because the pace of this episode is the fastest we’ve seen in a long time, and we cover an immense amount of ground...often hilariously. Why is dating like sales? (including a GOLDEN tip for up-and-coming salesguys) How does the ‘fishing expedition’ change when we’re after casual relationships vs. something long-term? Is luring someone primarily with physical attractiveness really a good strategy? Meanwhile, why do so many men get lured in and hooked by women they’re not even attracted to? If you can relate, this episode wil

The truth is that being successful with women comes down in large part to learned skill. Some men have it, some don't...and even fewer are willing to fight for the right to acquire those skills. And there's no 'easy button'. Like me, my guest Darren Fuji wasn't exactly born with a the silver spoon of sexual attractiveness in his mouth. But he indeed has become an absolute machine with women over the years, culminating in his fantastic current relationship with a professional model. What clear advantages do most men have compared to most women in cultivating the skills of attraction? What are some of the big lies many men are told about their likelihood of becoming more attractive to women? And why do we now live in a society where everyone seems to want everything handed to them? Certainly the few and the proud will rise to the occasion of putting in the blood, sweat and tears to truly achieve in this life, but what are the perhaps unexpected rewards to doing so? What has laziness, lack of ambition and flat-o

I first found out about my guest when I stumbled across his recent conversation with Scott Adams of Dilbert fame. Hotep is an independent thinker who speaks his mind, while being able to back up every word of what he says with logical sense. He has a long history of serial entrepreneurship, marketing for high-profile performers and various other pursuits, but as it turns out his curious mindset has also led to a lot of thought on women and masculinity. So for starters, what's the key to staying sane and focused in the midst of the crazy news cycles we're confronted with these days? How does Hotep measure and evaluate all the information? Why is it nearly impossible to have a real, actual conversation on Twitter anymore? Hotep talks frequently about 'reading the room'...how does that pertain to expressing bold, authentic thought? Is getting news from so-called 'unbiased' sources really the way to get down to the bottom of what's going on in the world? How can we as men step up and be bold in the face of cancel

Well, here we go...it's the long overdue show on sexy motherhood. And yes, I completely understand the very premise is up for debate. That's why I brought in the hottest mommy I know, none other than my wife Emily. Curiously enough, the first direction we went in was debating the 'dad bod' and 'mom bod' factor. Do we as men really desire that rail-thin supermodel body, or do many of us prefer a woman shaped more like she's had a baby or two? In addition to what they look like, how do hot moms really turn us on? Is how we act and carry ourselves as dads even more profound an issue when it comes to turning those hot moms on? And how about 'boy moms'...what's the deal with them, and why are they so cool? How does life experience and parental obligation contribute to a particular affinity between single moms and single dads? When the idealistic 'halo' of childless singlehood fades, is that actually a good thing for a budding relationship? Why do so many dating coaches for men warn against dating single moms? Does

My guest Todd Kashdan is the guru of curiosity, having literally written the book on it. As a college professor, one would think he would count his fellow highly-educated people as naturally curious...but is it really always the case? How is being curious good for your social life and your attractiveness to women? What are the perhaps unexpected benefits of adopting a curious lifestyle? Meanwhile, is there a darker side of curiosity that few people ever dare to talk about? Moreover, is there a dark side of YOU that you should be more curious about? How is curiosity--or lack thereof--tied to stress levels? Can you actually point to objective trends in today's society that are stealing our curious nature away from us? And how have media outlets capitalized upon that to get clicks, build their audience and even further an agenda? How come kids don't seem to be as curious as they used to be, and how can we instill more curiosity within them? But is it even worth being so curious when we're never going to get all

When his book Die Fat Or Get Tough came out, it told the truth about getting in shape that people weren't trying to hear. And that's really only one example of how Steve Siebold's work boldly addresses mental toughness in a visceral, yet engaging way that we as men can genuinely relate to. Since Steve's name came up on the show a couple of episodes ago, I reached out to him and decided to have him on to go over his latest work, along with some of his golden gems from past books. Have you ever noticed that whether it's in sports or in life, the one with the most mental toughness generally wins? Certainly, with all of the craziness happening in the world today, mental toughness is necessary just to hang in there. But what does having mental toughness even mean? And how does it directly affect your success on the field, in your career and yes...in your relationships with women? How does 'microwave thinking' defeat mental toughness? What does all of this have to do with financial success? In what ways are we bein

My guest co-host believes men not only are as emotional as women are, but it's important to our masculinity to feel deeply. Don't get that confused with being an 'emo' soy boy, however. For starters, GS describes what a heart-felt relationship with a modern woman who is strong yet feminine looks like. But wait...who is this 'strong woman' anyway, and what is she like? Whoever she is, she's only going to be powerfully attracted to a masculine man. So to that end, GS outlines three ways to be fully masculine without being an unemotional robot about it. How can we respond to women rather than merely reacting? What do women mean when they say they want a man who 'listens'? And what in the world is being 'emotionally available' all about? Why do women start nagging us? And what's even scarier in a relationship than that, although few of us even recognize it when it's happening? How does providing true safety to a woman contrast with the 'alpha model' of masculinity? How can men be emotional while still being consc