Feeding The Monkey

If you have travelled to a country other than America, or you have watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, you may have noticed that the number of blades in a ceiling fan vary from place to place. Even if you didn’t notice it before, the Monkey bets you will now, and here’s an explanation. We sing carols every year (at least around here we do), and most of them are quite old. Being old, they often contain archaic words and phrases. A listener wanted me to explain/interpret some of them, so there you are.

Sure, we all know that cakes are eggs, flour, sugar, salt, and all kinds of stuff that comes together to make wonderful deliciousness. But how does it turn from batter into wonderful deliciousness? Is it some secret chemical whatchamacallits? The Monkey was dying to know, so we found out.  Also, paint by numbers - what a concept, right? You can take anyone, without any training at all, and turn them into Leonardo Da Vinci or Van Gogh. Literally. Where did these kits come from and how did they get to be as popular as they are among all age groups. The Monkey loves a good paint by numbers, and will tell you all about it. 

You may know that your weight fluctuates from day to day, but did you know it fluctuates from place to place on Earth? In fact, it might fluctuate slightly from location to location in your house. Gravitational mass concentrations or mascons are all around us. What the heck are they and what causes them? You probably think you know all the vampire legends but there’s probably a whole slew of them that you’ve never heard of. Like, did you know they have an irrepressible desire to count? Actually, lots of mythical monsters have been punished with arithmomania among other things. The monkey checks into it! 

The traditional Thanksgiving story and Black Friday are ingrained into the American culture. But how accurate is that story? Is there more to history than we’re taught in elementary school? There’s an answer, as always, and the Monkey found it enlightening. Also, everyone has their own favorite household recipe for roasting the Thanksgiving turkey (unless your family is one of those ham eating types). We look at some historical recipes, the granddaddy of all recipes, and round it out with some from modern day celebrity chefs. Maybe you’ll find your new family favorite here. As always, everything I used for research is linked at the bottom of the page in section 7. Don’t miss clicking on some of these fascinating sites. 

The Bermuda Triangle is a mystery writer’s dream. A place in the ocean where ships and planes vanish without a trace, the Bermuda Triangle or the Devil’s Triangle captures the imagination. But what is really going on? Are all disappearances in the distant chef, or are they still happening? And does anyone know what really happens to those planes and ships? Listen and find out. Natural food – so expensive! Is it all marketing? There is actually a great reason why organic/natural foods cost more than conventionally farmed foods. You might be surprised at the reason!  

On television, the crab fishermen hunt for two different kinds of crab in the same area of water. How do they only catch the ones they are looking for? Same boats, same traps, same water – different crab? That’s a mystery for the Monkey! And – cats do weird stuff. A lot of weird stuff. When they’re jumping on your foot under a blanket, do they know that’s your foot under a blanket? Or do they live in a fantasy world (or a world without object permanence) and think that your foot or hand has suddenly transmuted into the biggest mouse in the world? Find out the real skinny on your furry buddy. 

Dr. Spencer Reid takes a nap, but not really. However, he assures us that it would be perfectly normal if he did. References to biphasic of polyphasic sleep go back as far as 70BC. In fact, we only started sleeping eight hours a night straight through in the early 1920’s. Why would it change and is there any benefit to going back to that pattern of sleep? The Monkey finds out. Also, Criminal Minds follows the exploits of a wacky group of behavioral analysts. Kind of – it’s a procedural that explores how the FBI’s real Behavioral Analysis Unit works. The Monkey finds out if learning to read microexpressions is difficult and what it takes to become a real body language expert.  

We know that science classifies humans as primates and that humans are omnivorous. Is a diet that includes vegetables, fruit, and protein something only found in humans, or do other primates share this trait. The Monkey always wants to know about other monkeys, and is on the case. The answers we found might well surprise you.  Also, when you move your arms and legs, you’re not aware of your brain sending a signal to the muscles to contract, but you know it does. When do we learn how to do that? Is it something that was a conscious action at some point but we’ve forgotten when that was and what it felt like? This answer was a long time coming, but the Monkey found it! 

Oh no, you cut your hand! Pour some hydrogen peroxide on it and get it bandaged up! What does hydrogen peroxide do while it’s making all those cleansing bubbles in your wound? Is it helping? Is it actually harmful? The Monkey was really surprised to find out the truth behind this medicine cabinet staple. Cashew milk, coconut milk, almond milk – plants don’t have nipples so how can all these things be milk? Is there a way to get milk that doesn’t involve a mammal? You’ll be amazed at how many things are called milk and the startling reason why!  Bonus: Stay tuned, because at the end of this week's episode I am going to make you an offer you can't refuse. 

Of all the improbabilities that the Monkey wonders about throughout the week, perhaps the oddest are from local laws in America and beyond. This week, the Monkey finds  out why in the world you can't eat watermelons in Brazil. It's absolutely true and you won't believe the reason why.  Also, we paint them, shine them, cut them, and grow them. Fingernails are more than fancy hand decorations. The Monkey was positive there were reasons why, and now you'll know too. As a bonus, you can find out what other creatures besides us and monkeys have them! 

The Monkey treads forward bravely insinuating into the wide, wide, world of mattress sizing. Is a twin twice the size of a single? Is a queen twice the size of that? How many sizes are there and who in the world thought of these crazy names to begin with? The Monkey enlightens. Well, not really, but the Monkey does explain what the sizes are and where they came from.  Also, indoor plumbing. Although it refers to sinks, faucets, showers, bathtubs and sink among other articles, the Monkey is focused on toilets. When did indoor toilets become a thing, where were they invented, and who has them? Is it only in undeveloped countries where it's hard to find these days? Let the Monkey help you with this puzzle. 

Hi guys -  No Feeding the Monkey this week, but please send me questions or comments to monkey@feedingthemonkey.com . We're also on Facebook at Feeding the Monkey. Your bizarro question is my happy-making-thing. 

If you could have any super power in the world, most people vote for teleportation. Number 12 on the list is “indefatigability”.  If your body never got tired, what would happen to your mind? Would you lose it? What kind of ways would that manifest? Is it really all that bad if you don’t sleep? Feeding the Monkey has indefatigable curiosity, but we’re not sure if that’s exactly the same thing! And in our second segment, you see it between elderly women on golf courses, basketball players, sports fans watching a game, friends hearing great news, and after someone completes an arduous or difficult task. Where did the high five come from? From baseball history to jazz greats, The Monkey knows and now, so can you. It's probably not at old as you might think. 

What do you think would happen if you never told your child the sky was blue? The answer is pretty stunning. He or she would tell you the exact same thing that Homer and other ancient speakers if you asked them what color the sky is. It took a lot more work than usual, but Feeding the Monkey was completely enthralled with the answer to this listener question.  Marsupials – we have a few in North America but of course, the land that’s known for them is Australia. Why are there so many of them on that continent? What happened to the rest of ours? Did we ever have any? These cute little critters are weighing in on the Monkey’s mind, so let’s go feed them! And don’t forget, if you ever have a question bouncing around in your mind, write us at monkey@feedingthemonkey.com. 

The human body is an amazing balance of tissues, enzymes, fluids, and structure. Each piece has its own job to do, keeping our bodies running smoothly. Are there any organs we can lose and still live happy, functioning lives? Which ones? Most of us know about becoming an organ donor on our driver's licenses, but what about living donation? Are there organs that we can donate all or part of and not only live but help others? Cancer is a terrible disease. 50% of people diagnosed with cancer will die. The earlier it’s discovered, the better a person’s chances are for survival. What exactly is cancer, and more importantly, how will it kill you? Feeding the Monkey doesn’t think it’s necessarily a fun question, but it’s something that always bothered us. Has it ever come up in your mind? 

Everyone who lives in a climate with ice and snow has stepped out onto a driveway or sidewalk and found themselves lying on the ground. How come you slip on ice but ice doesn’t slip out from under you? Or does ice slip out from under you but you just didn't notice it? Or maybe you slipped and the ice slipped? Feeding the Monkey just had to know and now you can, too. The sun is the nearest star. We take it for granted that it will rise every morning, chasing away night. Its radiation keeps us warm. It holds the solar system in its grasp and gives our little bit of space consistency. So what would happen if it was gone? This question, heard on the radio in the middle of a pretty good snow storm a while back, caused Feeding the Monkey to miss three interstate exits trying to work it out. We finally have the answer; hear it now. 

At some point, someone thought it would be a good idea to eat eggs. What in the world would ever compel someone to do that? Feeding the Monkey checks it out. We bet you can't guess how long it's been.  Everyone knows Clan McDonnell wears white, black and green tartans. But why is that and who decided what color goes with which clan? Feeding the Monkey knows and soon so will you. Get ready for your local Highland games with these bits of Scottish minutia. 

Looking for a self service pump in Oregon? You probably won't find one - it's illegal to pump your own gas in Oregon under most circumstances. Feeding the Monkey finds out the history behind this bizarre law and in what situation it doesn’t apply. Also, remember that FLDS compound that was raided in Texas in April of 2008? Feeding the Monkey does, and the burning question everyone had but no one dared to ask - what the heck is up with that hair?? It took a lot of research to find out the answer to that one, but we have it.