Live From Love

With a title like this, Higher Desires and Lower Desires, you’re probably thinking that I’m talking about your desire for sex and what category you fall into . . .right? That is not what this podcast is all about; but it will relate to sex, as well as other aspects of your life. What desires do you have and what is keeping you from achieving them? I will give you steps to help lean into those higher goals to actually create the life that you want for yourself. Review the Podcast!

What is anxiety? What does it look like? How is it affecting your life - your partners life? In Podcast #108 I will take a look at anxiety and the possible side affects on your sex life. I share three main reasons anxiety may be interfering with your best life. Anxiety is an emotion that can take a physical as well as an emotional toll on you and your relationships. For some, there is a need for medication and a mental health advisor or doctor. But for many, it’s about managing our thoughts. I will discuss the importance of becoming friends with our emotions, rather than running from them to alleviate anxiety in your life. It’s possible - it really is.

I am stepping out of my sexuality niche for just a minute on today’s podcast. Episode #107 is all about your thoughts. I will discuss your higher and lower brain, and describe characteristics of each level and help determine where you are functioning. Are you suffering, surviving, or thriving during this unique time? Do you want to switch it up? I am also sharing tips on how to give positive thoughts an equal amount of brain space if you are consumed with the negative and what does that look like? My hope is that today’s episode will help you see a best-case scenario more often than not and clean up your thoughts to serve you a little better. Enjoy. Review the Podcast!

How do you know what kinds of foods you like? You try them - right? The same goes for your sexual experiences. This week on the podcast I may challenge your thoughts surrounding what you view as right or wrong, good or bad. Podcast #106, Expanding You Sexual Palette is all about considering some new approaches to your bedroom play. What would you like to try? What about your spouse? Is the topic even open for discussion? I will talk about how to communicate with your spouse, how to decide what you each desire and where to start. I am also sharing a worksheet to help the communication process for both of you. Think outside the box and let’s go.   Review the podcast

Join me this week as I take you on a little journey of comparisons... with food. Each of us wants and needs a healthy relationship with food - and that goes for your sexual relationship as well. I want to share some analogies with you concerning repression or compulsion of your sexuality and how men and women typically respond differently to thoughts of intimacy. Your marriage will better thrive when you understand how your human brain, full of beautiful curiosity, will play a leading role in the sexual side of your relationship.

Is the desire gone for your spouse - or maybe the other way around? Are there parts of your human self that you do not desire and would rather avoid looking at? How do you know the difference? Maybe it is easier to blame others - rather than facing the challenge of looking at yourself to see where the gap started. If you are having these same questions or concerns - Podcast #104 is jam packed with information for you. I will discuss righteous desires, mens and women’s perspective, fears, validation and how to approach the topic when sex has completely shut down. Join me for “Am I Desirable?” and see if it’s time for a little more help.

No matter where life finds you, no matter the status of your relationships, podcast #103 , “A Marriage Made Whole” is not to be missed. My podcast is an interview with past clients that will inspire you. You may not have the same circumstances, but it is a sweet story of forgiveness, brain work and overcoming. You will see first hand what coaching can do and how it can help anyone, any situation. Thank you Jeff and Joy for being vulnerable and sharing your story.

Podcast #102 is covering a few topics that will be beneficial to you right now.   I am talking about managing our brains around the stress and anxiety you might be feeling, I will be sharing more details about my “Class for Engaged Couples”  and I am still offering FREE 20 minute coaching sessions.  The topic is “Intimacy During Isolation” and I will define exactly what intimacy is and I think  it may surprise some of you. What are you doing to keep your intimate relationships strong and thriving when we need to be distant? Why is this important? How can understanding different levels of intimacy help you overcome some struggles you may be experiencing? And what are the most common struggles with intimacy? Join me this week or sign up for a coaching session and let’s figure it out together. Find out more and download your FREE worksheet for this week’s podcast #102. FREE Coaching! Engaged Couples Course

This week, Podcast #101 is all about the effects of stress on your life. It can put a strain on your physical, emotional and mental health. It can affect your relationships and especially your sex life. And it has been a great month to practice managing your stress. I have the tools to help you out. I will explain how some stress can be beneficial. I will share tips on how to process- as well as how to avoid and eliminate stress. Sex can actually help. Listen as I explain more about your brain and why this is true. Coach with me for FREE!

My 100th Episode! I can’t believe I have been doing this for 100 episodes and loving this work more and more every day. This week’s podcast is full of so much valuable information around buffering feelings, our new schedules (or lack of), and our thoughts around this new normal. I will give you ideas on how to fill the time with your kid's new life at home as well as tips on managing your brains during this unusual time. It’s a good time to discuss not numbing ourselves from our emotions and the effect that can have on our lives...especially our time in the bedroom. And if that wasn’t enough, I will be giving you a FREE worksheet to download for this week’s podcast, “How Numbing Out is Hurting Your Sex Life.”

This week I researched the power of touch.  There was plenty of information to back up my beliefs. Being touched is the first communication a newborn babe has with those that love them.  Skin to skin calms a crying baby, lowers adults’ heart rate and sends messages to the vagus nerve for relaxation.  These are just a few of the numerous benefits.  I also talk about ideas and solutions for those times when you are simply “all touched out.”  If you are a mother - especially to small children -you know exactly what I am talking about.  Sometimes learning to touch our spouse the way they want takes teaching and learning and communicating in love and compassion.  Test it for yourself. You will be amazed at the difference it can make in your relationship.

In this week's podcast, I tackle the subject of your sexuality.  What does it look like to you? What does it feel like? Our first impulse is to believe it is wrong or distasteful.  I am going to explain why I believe it is a beautiful part of who we are as children of God. It is part of our identity given to us by a loving Heavenly Father- to use wisely.  It can be pure and beautiful and full of goodness. It is a gift. I will discuss figuring out your desires in all aspects of your life and learning to speak your truth.

Does your spouse view pornography? Do you think he is addicted?  In this week’s episode, I interview Dr. Cameron Staley, a clinical psychologist who has researched pornography addiction.  Learn what he has to say about why your spouse looks at pornography and how you can best support them.

Do you use lube? Not only can it be fun to use but it’s also important for safer sex! Yep, using lube can not only help things go smoother but it can help prevent irritation, tearing, and infection.  But, it’s important to find the right lube for you.  Many lubes have toxic chemicals that aren’t meant for our delicate genital area.  In this episode, we talk about the different types of lubes, what works well for different purposes, and how to avoid lubes that aren’t safe for your body.

Are you exhausted all the time and sex is the last thing on your mind?  You are not alone.  It is a complaint I hear often from clients.  I was recently interviewed on The Doctor’s Wife Podcast with Sara Payne about this topic and the discussion was too good not to share with my listeners as well.  So I am re-airing my interview with Sara.  You can find more about her and her podcast on her website SaraPayne.com or on her Instagram @sarapaynecoaching.

Do you have a healthy marriage and sexual relationship? How do you know if you do or not? In this week’s episode, I am sharing the 6 Principles of Healthy Sexuality and what a healthy relationship looks like. This is a great way to see what areas you and your spouse can improve upon and strengthen.

I asked wives what they wish their husbands knew about them and sex. So this episode is for all the husbands. You'll learn what your wife has had a hard time telling you and what you need to do to get more sex and better sex in your relationship.

Do you know what turns you on? Most of us learn to tolerate or suppress our sexuality as youth, so we never developed an erotic mind. A mind that knows where to go to get aroused. So how do we figure that out now? How do develop an erotic mind?

Does sex feel like a chore? Something you have to do to keep your husband happy? It sounds noble, but you are probably building up a lot of resentment in the meantime. Sex isn't supposed to be just about him. It's about you too. When we learn to step into our sexuality, own it, work on it, it changes everything. Your husband is happy, and so are you. Find out more and download your FREE worksheet for this week’s episode, podcast Episode 91 - Keeping Your Husband Happy    amandalouder.com/podcast/91   I’m looking for submissions for an upcoming podcast on what wives wish their husbands knew about them and sex.  So, what do you wish your husband knew?  What haven’t you told him? What are you afraid to tell him?  All submissions will be kept anonymous.  Please email submissions to podcast@amandaloudercoaching.com    

As I was studying my scriptures this week, I found some interesting parallels in the way we approach sex and the way the sons of Lehi approached their father’s vision and beliefs.  Are you more like Laman and Lemuel? Sam? or Nephi?