Lady Bitch Time

This may sound tricky. In fact, it may just sound insane. But the Sim's Assumption works! And by works I mean is a fun game to play with a friend or two you may talk shit about other people with.  In a seriousness, this is a truth of life. Everyone lives by this assumption. Everyone is a true SIM. Get ready to learn about the Sim's Assumption. 

Everyone's gone through this. Watching your favorite shows and movies growing up and thinking prom is going to be magical. Your high school reunion will be this huge thing that you anticipate for the next ten years of your life... That is until it's actually planned and it turns out the best thing about it is the giant turd left in the fountain offending the family nearby.

Ever get the "Why aren't you married yet?" questions at dinner? "When are you going to have kids?" "Why can't you be like your younger brother?" "You need to go to church." Well if you have and you're sick of the pressures the family put on you to be a person you're not or force you into traditions you don't care for; then strap on your ear buds and take a listen to this.

It's your birthday! But your phone has been silent all day. What gives? How about you check out the o'l social media?  Wow. All those birthday posts on your wall. But certainly your mom will give you a phone call? Even a text? Oh...nope. She posted on your wall too.  Anyone else fucking tired of the lack of human interaction with each other?

Victim Card. Why can't some people just simply say "My Bad?" Why must there be an excuse for everything.  Trey, from Hashtag Questiosn Podcast, brings Amanda this epic topic to bitch about as it turns into bitching about the goddamn Jessica's of the world and how shitty people can really be. With a side of wtf happened to the length of shorts?    

When you get stuck babysitting your nephews who have now reached an age where they don't really want to hang around adults anymore...wtf do you do? Throw them on your podcast and see what happens. This is either somewhat interesting or a massive disaster. Who knows?

The fine ladies at These Drunk Bitches Podcast asked Amanda to bitch about the importance of friendship, the importance of how friends somehow choose to listen to celebrities over their friends causing an existential crisis for the non-celeb friend as well as wondering just exactly how to say "existential".  Siri guest stars. So does Cat the Cat.

Your shower is leaking. Now you have to get a hold of your landlord and ask him to come over and fix it. Once he gets there...what do you do? Stare over his shoulder? Ask questions? Watch Tv? Make them lemonade? Leave? Or do what Amanda does....sit in awkward silence.  Amanda had to drag Kaven in as her "expert" to figure out this awful situation. 

If Amanda's life were a movie, during this time of year she is dedicated to using all her efforts and resources to destroying the one thing that took someone she truly loved away from her: Cystic Fibrosis. It's time for a movie montage!

Not only can buying pants be difficult in what could still be considered a winter month, (By the way still haven't received those pants for those of you keeping score at home) But the same can be said for any kind of seasonal tool you may need. For example: your shovel breaks during a blizzard and good luck finding one buddy. BECAUSE KNOW ONE KNOWS WHAT STATE THEY ACTUALLY LIVE IN ANYMORE!

It happens to everyone. Go pants shopping and ask an associate where the pants are. The associate says "you might want to try online, pants season is over". Leave the store and there's a blizzard outside.  STOP SWITCHING SEASONS WHEN THE SEASONS ARE OVER! JUST LET ME BUY PANTS DAMMIT!  

Amanda woke up this morning to find out there's an election. Something that has not been mentioned or promoted at all beforehand, in fact she found out through a friend. So now WTF is there to do? Scramble. So join in and someone bring a freaking cookie.

After SOMEBODY just had to get sick (Kaven...talking about KAVEN!), Amanda had to scramble last minute to find a new topic that is very dear to the rest of us.  This episode is brought to you by the handy work of Sarah and Sara. Yes, you can't just say the sara's...they're spelled differently. 

It's been 7 seasons of your favorite show. You've laughed, you've cried, you shouted out "I HAVE A FRIEND THAT DOES THAT! Silly Jim" and it's all boiling down to this final episode.  Until that episode ruins your entire show and you feel you've WASTED 158 episodes of your life. HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO YOU!

It's happened to everyone. Enjoying a nice meal at your most favorite and fanciest of fast food restaurants and suddenly someone's hacking their congest lungs out next to your mini chicken quesadilla.  And while you hold back the vomit as someone on the other side of you finds this the appropriate time and setting to blow their snot filled nose; you find yourself simply wondering "Why the hell aren't you at home?"

After almost three years in the relationship, Amanda still can't bring herself to fart around Kaven and it turns out she's not alone. A handful of women confess that they too can't get past the first fart or the first poop....why?

After being forced to see the new Jumanji Movie, and a request from Mike, Amanda must talk about the current, awkward phase Hollywood is going through. 

Someone always has to take things one step too far. Whether it's an entire city throughout celebration or butthurt people who think this is an excellent time to joke about the wrong thing; it's time to bitch about the fallout of the Superbowl.

Nonsensical nonsense that started as a a debate between Kaven and Amanda when she asked him to hold her wallet.  Why? Because her pants didn't have fucking pockets.

Seriously? Is there really a need to bitch about laundry detergent? What would there be to complain about? It gets stains out of the clothes, you don't have to measure how much to use, there are tons upon tons of coupons for it... So why the fuck are you little twats ruining this for the rest of us? And right at the beginning of 2018 no less?