Desks & Dayjobs

Hark, dear listener, Satanic Panic is about to take the stage! Are you as excited as I am? I already know the story and I can barely contain my excitement and desire to spoil all the surprises. There’s a monster fight! And music! And a brief but wondrous puppet show! I can’t even go on or I’ll spoil it. Will our heroes end their night on a high note? Or is an evil force there to make them face the music? In this episode Brube takes out some rage on Sad Pete the Postman Agnes finds her little drummer boi DM Hobert plays with himself And Stuart dictates the rules of the band

Hark, dear listeners! Our heroes’ Monday is coming to a close, which means it’s time for…*Thunderclap* **Scary Violin Sting** HAPPY HOUR!!! As our heroes descend into the BoneZone without the aid of their friend Maxwell - who has tummy trouble after too many lunch wines (but really Brandon is getting married! Congrats, dude!) - they are beset by rowdy friends, a stern bartender, and a gathering crowd of fans and foes of Agnes and Hobe’s band, Satanic Panic. Will they eat the bar…or will the bar eat them? In This Episode Maxwell “buries some treasure” Stuart gets (castle) freaky Agnes assembles her band And Brube reveals an in-Creb-ible secret

Oh, dear listener, our heroes have been cornered in the Records Department by the underpaid interns that haunt these dark corridors of files! They’ll have to fight their way through these tragic, ambitious youngsters if they want to find the information they need buried deep in the depths. But who knows what mysteries lurk in the dimly lit narrows! Perhaps one of our adventurers will stumble upon a lost item and unearth not just the information on the missing photographer, but also the secret of Mama Storybrook’s menacing friendliness? But will their friends wait for them…or leave them behind? In this episode Maxwell remembers his favorite mall cop Brube sees through some criticism Stuart consults a meta source Agnes gets shagadelic And Paul Wall faces his Moby-File Cabinet

Desks & Dayjobs: The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Wild at Heart Hark, dear listener! I know you’re probably so worried about your favorite four adventurers! When we last left them, they were about to be torn apart by interns! But wait, aren’t you curious about this big, giant records room? I bet a little, right? Well let’s take a little detour off our tale to learn more about this room. I know a tale from long ago that might put everything in context. A tale of intrigue, danger, and betrayal! It takes place in the year 1964… In this episode Al dreams of Genie Tim remembers MASH and Deb gets less rum than she deserves

Dear Listener, our heroes, now known as the Apple Barrel Gang, have set off on their most pressing of quests: to find the work of the missing photographer! So they embark with the help of an old friend to find the Records Room. But what will they find there? Will it be traps? Will there be terrible college interns? Will there be an adorable old woman who only wants to tell their futures that they intrinsically trust for reasons beyond their control? Listen to my tale and find out! In this episode Brube wins a star for her star Maxwell sees a grim Thanksgiving Stuart rolls to trust an elder And Agnes leaves us with an orange-hanger

Oh, dear listener, isn’t this story heating up? Our adventurers have ordered their reputation-saving donuts and decided to take a break from their quest to just kick it at a bar for a bit. You know, dear listener, normal workday stuff. Anyway, they venture into this bar looking for dirt on their nemesis, Alan Bloodskull, and discover a hard-drinking day bar full of colorful characters that they feel they must bother. Will they make some new friends? Will they ever decide what the best apple is? My money’s on Fuji! I love those apples… In This Episode Maxwell ranks apples Stuart meets a Stuart Agnes debuts a “Gothic Raffi” sound And Brube looks for a man with Skills AND Information

Hark, dear listener! This is the thrilling part of our adventure where our heroes set off on their quest to restore their reputation! In the lair of Tracy Vista, boss of the Marketing Department, our heroes are bedeviled by clowns, kitty-cats, triangles, and nudes before setting off to roust some donuts for noble Beardkowski! But they’re about to find out that a there’s a #GucciGang standing in their way… In this episode: Brube’s ass is both nice and sweet Maxwell is “The Percolator” Agnes puts the “Grand” in Grandma And Stuart mulls selling drugs to kids

Greetings, traveler! Now that you’ve gotten your coffee, I can finally start my tale of adventures most mundane! Of four heroes — or villains depending on who you ask — who set out to right the wrongs facing their humble company. Come, listen as I set the stage and introduce the players! For Agnes, Brube, Maxwell and Stuart are off on their quest to get a sweet bonus…unless an old foe cuts their lives (careers) short… In this episode Agnes drinks a cool beer/is cool Brube mourns a not-dead father figure Maxwell makes a special drink request And Stuart get his pin picked

Greetings, traveler! Come and sit next to me at this coffee shop so I can tell you a tale of adventurers brave and bold! Four co-workers who set out on a quest! It’s really a very exciting story, and I know you’re going to love it. But first, can I tell you about leveling up our original characters and introducing the new characters? Come on! It’ll be fun! We make jokes too! In this episode Brube gets into her role Hobe takes up bonsai Stuart flames out of esports Agnes makes mad-libs and Maxwell masters micro-jokes

The battle continues to rage as The Bulldogs fight with Schuyler and his cronies. Will the tides turn against our heroes four? Or will a talking crowbar save the day? And once the dust of battle settles, will Brube, Hobe, Orlando and Stuart be able to pull the NPC Inc. shipping department back together, or is it too late for the workers? Find out in this exciting finale! In this episode: Stuart tries to hold everyone Brube wins an award for friendship/lovemaking Hobe bores a bird And Orlando wishes this crowbar was a real bar

It’s time for a good ol’ fashion Boss Fight! Labor Distruptor Fight? Yeah! That one! Armed with the knowledge that Reno and Schuyler have been trying to rip off NPC Inc’s shipping department, our heroes only need to escape! But Schuyler and his beefy henchman have other plans. Will The Bulldogs escape, or will they face the vampire’s incredibly boring bite? In this episode: Brube trusts her pelican too much Hobe gets hot ’n’ spicy Orlando hassles a horny guy and Stuart is prone!

The Bulldogs are on the hunt for the Best Lifter trophy! In order to siege the shipping facility’s tower (or two story building, depending on how you look at it) our heroes take a chance and split the party, sending Brube and Hobe to scale the heights and break into the Louis Gimbleglam’s office while Stuart and Orlando distract the workers with a good ol’ fashion forklift fight! Will our heroes find the trophy in time to save NPC Shipping from Schuyler Tantebo? Will history remember Hitch fondly? Find out in this exciting episode! In this episode Stuart handles his machinery Orlando meets some fellow Hitch-Bitches Hobe is save by weed and Brube finally remembers her job

Having just defeated Orlac Stonebasher and his B-ball(tm) team, The Bulldogs are off to the gloomy warehouse to see what the deal is with the Loading Troll. What terrors—or horses—await them in the depths of this box-filled room? Will they be able to crack the case of why is this Troll is too sad to work? Will they find out who is systematically trying to make the employees miserable? And will Stuart’s Divine Portent ability EVER WORK? In This Episode Orlando eats a lot of dust Stuart acts like a total Horse Girl Hobe puts torture on the table Brube acts as trollanslator and DM Alex pulls off an hour long Snoop Dogg joke

Y’all ready to take it to the rim? Heave that rock? Press that court fully? Well come on and jam with the Bulldogs as they take on their latest challenge: a game of pickup basketball against Orlac Stonebasher and his very tall friends. If they win, Orlac helps and if they lose he’ll just keep playing basketball. This guy is really into basketball! Will the Bulldogs manage to somehow beat real athletes? Or are they about to get majorly dunked on? In this episode: Stuart confuses cool with cruel Hobe is Hope-pen Brube shows off some crab-ball Orlando supplies our team with its Jordan And Dorn needs a win

On their way to meet Orlac Stonebasher (and maybe to see a really cool horse), our heroes are waylaid by a new, deadlyish enemy: a wight in a windbreaker, flanked by very dull members of the undead horde. Can they fight their way through these part-time terrors, or will they be crushed by an onslaught of boring conversations, bitter retorts, and a lack of humor about a very funny Oprah GIF? In this episode Brube tells her two point story Orlando gives himself a shield Hobe reveals some of his origin story Stuart gets touchy-feely with the Dead

As our heroes delve deeper into the bowels of NPC Inc’s shipping facility they discover a sinister mystery afoot! The shipping workers aren’t slacking, they’re being quietly replaced by more pliant part-time workers sent by some mysterious “labor disrupter” named Schuyler Tantebo. Will our heroes agree to help the shipping facility, or join Reno and Schuyler’s plot to make a quick buck off the outsourcing? Or will they just slack off for the rest of the day to play ping pong in the break room and give DM Alex a much needed confidence boost for his character voices? In this episode: Brube challenges the core concept of solitaire Orlando talks beers with bugbears Hobe beats Davy, not Darvy and Stuart’s disguise is a dead ringer for a scab

It’s time for our heroes to face DM Alex’s most devious puzzle yet…walking past a security guard into NPC Inc’s shipping facility. Will our heroes be able to muster the courage to walk right up to this very normal man and say “Hello”? Or will they spend a majority of this episode devising a terrible plan, only to see it immediately fall apart? Oh, you know it’s the second one! In this episode: Hobe fails to make a friend Stuart gives a hot take on dolls Brube questions the afterlife and Orlando apologizes to JD Salinger

Time for our heroes to set off on their quest to the shipping facility! But the warehouse is far from the offices of NPC Inc, so it looks like our heroes are going to have to knock off work early and take their fair fantasy city’s public transportation system. Can they master the FCTA or will public transportation throw them just like a friggin’ stupid horse? Will they be able to navigate weirdly anatomical ticketing machines and the hell that is other people? And who is Clorg and what does he like to do? Tune in to this exciting episode and find out! In this episode: Hobe lives in his internal monolog Orlando confuses his life with Taken Stuart gets a lot of likes and Brube debuts her business card

It’s time for the Bulldogs to go off on another quest, and we’re all fired up! Especially DM Alex, who’s full of piss, vinegar and cute lil’ sneezes in this episode. This time our mission comes at the behest of greedy executive Reno Jabroni. Will our heroes be able to follow default leader Orlando Jordan to get their instructions from Reno? Or will his cut-rate Cerberus of a secretary see through their clever disguises of “Air Conditioning Girl,” “Wifi Unplugger” and “Nervous Caramel Fan”? In this episode Stuart gets called out and walks out Orlando receives and maybe understands a task Hobe takes a bathroom break Brube disputes who’s best at sex and DM Alex defends the honor of Woody Paige

Ho ho ho, Haaaaaapppppy Holidays from The Bulldogs! In this very merry episode, our heroes take a little break from their adventures to enjoy a little gift-giving. We also have a guest DM, as Stuart takes over the gameplay so DM Alex can play as Starp and Maxwell and also get plastered on nog. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or as we call it: the fantasy cat version of The 400 Blows. In this episode: Brube makes a nice, pretty crab joke Hobe is Hobe-propriate Orlando gets a new pet Stuart picks store-bought over homemade Starp’s gifts keep giving and Maxwell tries to be a good kitty