Desks & Dayjobs

Our heroes continue on their Thursday adventures, dear listener! Outside the office, Agnes, Brube and Gerbbi work to convince mystical photographer Stevi Smoothstone to turn in his work. Inside the office, Maxwelll and Stuart turn to an old friend for advice on their manticore problem. Looks like our heroes are going to have to really rely on their persuasion skills in this installment of our story. Hopefully they won’t roll horribly, making all these conversations tense! Support the efforts of the Library of Congress by listening to my exciting tale Maxwell tends his victory garden Agnes tries to book a photographer Stuart manifests for a butt joke Gerbbi keeps his options open And Brube counts her nickels

It’s a split party party, dear listeners, and you’re invited! Agnes, Brube and Gerbbi are hot on the trail of Stevi Smoothstone, but a sudden storm pushes them into their local CVS (Cures, Vitamins & Swords) to find some rain gear… and danger. Meanwhile, Maxwell and Stuart plead their IT case to Mr. Cortez, the very intimidating and very boring supply manager. Can Maxwell and Stuart, who aren’t heal boys, survive a run in with this surly solitaire lover? And will Agnes’ new power over others, and the influence of Gerbbi, make her turn to a life of crime? In This Episode Maxwell clicks some manticore mantiporn Brube is tied up in receipts Stuart. Loves. Planning. Gerbbi swordsplains And Agnes does some real crime

Hello, Dear Listener! Sit down and hear my tale of a Thursday morning! Our heroes have gathered in the office of Hobe Shadetree to get their day’s assignment only to find the Heroic Herd have assembled to “help.” Under orders from the stern hobgoblin middle-manager Thaddeus Warman, they divide to conquer, with one group setting out to help install some supply ordering software on the computer of a sinister employee, and on group following the Herd’s trail, hoping to beat them to Stevi Smoothstone. In This Episode Brube’s cranie senses are tingling Gerbbi wipes out on his heelies Stuart tries to make “Mean Wolf” work Agnes gets deep in some eyes And Maxwell gets into SoulCycle

Greetings, Dear Listener! Our heroes have completed another day of work and quests at NPC Inc., so now it’s time for them to briefly drop character to talk with DM Hobert about some fun home-brew changes coming to the characters as they reach level 5. But we know that not everyone can get down with a leveling up episode (you should though, if you want to understand who Party Fred and Brains MacKenzie are!) so we’ve also included our live episode from the Chicago Podcasters Unite event at C2E2! Eat your D&D vegetables and then treat yourself to a some D&D dessert! In This Episode Maxwell introduces the world to Party Fred and Tenchi Meows Stuart gets into Sci-Fi and some fantasy door hijinks Gerbbi gets some heels and does a pretty good impression Agnes can call him Al and torments her bandmate And Brube gets crafty and leaves some Brube clues to avoid Bruce blues

I hope you like arcade games, dear listeners! Because our heroes are determined to play them. With drinks in hand they head deeper into Horseplay and deeper into the clutches of Jackson Bloodskull-Williams. Is his invite to join him and some of his new pals in a little tournament of games a trick or a treat? And when faced with competition, will the heroes of the Apple Barrel Gang choose to fight dirty to protect Hobe? In this Episode: Maxwell keeps seeing Slenderman Gerbbi gives some gaming tips Stuart gets ghosted Agnes goes through puberty And Brube discovers a powerful magic object we all forgot

Time for a little R & R for our heroes, dear listeners! After making their daring escape from the HR Dungeon, they’ve found their way to the Marketing department’s possibly snack-themed “Goodbye Tracy Vista” party. Can our heroes navigate the choppy waters of social interaction, or will the wounds they sustained during their HR trial make them cagey, flustered, and really bad at flirting? With a widening rift developing in the group, our heroes set out for the arcade bar, HorsePlay. Hopefully they can make it there in one piece (emotionally)! In this episode: Maxwell is touched by an angel (or DM) Gerbbi drinks the Goblort Brube is disturbed by bad candy Agnes is alone with her balone and Stuart sings “Literal Pinball Wizard”

Our heroes are between a ghoul and a wolf place, dear listeners! They have to tame the wild side of their friend Stuart and then fend off the terminally boring Norman and his HR co-workers, Bob and Suz. I believe in them, but do they believe in themselves? I guess you’ll find out in this next chapter of our tale, in which our heroes try to escape the paperwork pit, attempt some shopping montages, make and break deals with old foes, and discover a secret about Brube’s torso. In this episode: Maxwell reveals his mecha-form Agnes pulls from the public domain catalog Stuart gets puntastic Gerbbi fondly remembers a ficus DM Hobert ponders the strength of a scanner And Brube keeps track of her favorite alarms

Oh dear listener, our heroes are trapped in the Paperwork Pit! Will they escape the clutches of Weird Norman (no relation to Weird Al) or will the allure of looking at birthday cards draw their attention from their escape mission? Oh, I sure hope they can hold out against these spooky undead co-workers, listeners! I mean, surely this group of ragtag adventurers, when faced with a tomb of monsters, wouldn’t go up and immediately try to touch them, right? Ah jeez, you’re right. They’re definitely going to try to high five the monsters. Stuart schools a ghoul on Google Gerbbi refuses to explain “quonk” Brube earns a Bruby Snack for a dog story Agnes leaves a message for future Agnes And Maxwell smells a familiar AnimeCon scent

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes have been hauled off to the ScenarioTron for a test of their business skills. Or is it a trap!? Ah, dear listeners, you know it’s a trap! Can our heroes escape the banal-yet-friendly digital clutches of Ted the Electronic Coworker? And once they do, how will they while away the time it takes to make it through Mr. Kammen’s seemingly endless line? Perhaps with a trip down memory lane, a battle with an old foe, and discussion of email body positivity? In this episode Brube leads a TedTalk on her favorite subject Agnes pens the paperwork song Gerbbi never gets horny Maxwell discovers a goblin’s Groundhog’s Day and Stuart solves the riddle of The Cactus, The Envelope, and The Picture Frame

Greetings, listeners! Good to be back here in 2019, telling you the tale of our heroes, the Apple Barrel Gang, as they begin their Wednesday adventure. Though they are well rested from their successful quest to destroy the S.I.E.G.E., they now have to face the gauntlet of horrors that await them in the HR department! Can our heroes keep themselves from being part of Dr. Gregsteen’s twisted management methods, or will they be crushed emotionally by his menacing underlings before they even make it to their appointment? In This Episode Brube discovers Meme-Waving Maxwell keeps an eye on Iraq Gerbbi makes a decision on his third-person speaking Agnes plays the Steal-Guitar And Stuart gets pretty excited about catching a curse

*Psychedelic Sitar* The Feyboy Gang is as high as they’ve ever been (in both drug and penthouse floor terms) but they still have work to do. Hot on the trail of the mysterious Prof. Gregsteen and the vivacious Salamander Cigarette scion Salleen Cindermander, they delve deeper into the penthouse. Can our heroes get the photos and quotes they need, or will they lose their sanity before they ring in the New Year? In This Episode Al makes a discovery amongst the tweed Tim wears something from the Tom Wolfe Collection And Deb is a scaly, but for one night

*Jazzy Trumpet* The Feyboy investigations crew is back at it, baby! This Swingin’ New Year’s Eve our heroes have been dispatched by their magazine to attend the party of the mysterious and magnetic New Mind Guru: Professor Yohann Gregsteen. Tonight he is taking his closest colleagues and devotees on a journey to the Tip of the Golden Triangle. Stick out your tongue and receive the Professor’s blessing...and see if you mind can take the view. In This Episode Deb tries to use cartoon physics Al saves time for kissin’ And Tim tells some very LSD-innappropriate stories

Ho Ho Ho! It’s me, Santa Claus! I’m here to introduce this year’s Christmas special! I hope you enjoy it - even though it’s just chock-a-block with swears, drunkenness, and anime references - and I hope you’ve had a very Merry Whateveryoucelebrateorchoosenottocelebrate. That’s a holiday this podcast is trying to make a thing. Do you think it will catch on? Ho Ho Ho, let’s check in with our heroes, who are spending a snowy evening in the festively decorated break room of NPC Inc exchanging gifts both sincere and shitty. Tis the season! In this episode Rainforest chokes back some sauce Gerbbi sings the hits (feat. David Bowie & Bing Crosby) Starp shepherds his flock Brube makes the most of the mundane Maxwell becomes a “2” of a person Agnes gets edgier Stu Skellington makes a dramatic exit Hobe connects with an old foe Luke fundamentally misunderstands the event And Stuart “rolls” a miraculous 20

Dear listeners, our heroes have locked Chris, Destroyer of Interns, out of his office and now they must face a spicy meatball of a battle! Can they handle the might of a middle manager? Will new friend Gerbbi Richardson prove himself as Agnes’ new intern? What secrets lie in the liar of the Destroyer of Interns? A way to save Starp and the Grayguard? Or just a not-to-shabby camp comedy sequel? In this Episode Brube serves up a meatball to a meatball Stuart really focuses on an ugly tie Gerbbi uses his confidence to pick locks Maxwell divides to conquer And Agnes give a pee-holding pep-talk

Greetings, dear listener! Our heroes are in quite a bit of trouble! Jackson Bloodskull-Williams wants them to report to his office ASAP to reprimand them for absconding with his new intern. Oooh, he sure is mad! And scary! Our heroes better come up with a plan quick, or their new friends are going to face the might of S.I.E.G.E.! Listen now to my tale of soda machines, interesting hats, and Gerbbi, the goblin everyone’s talking about! Brube learns about fake friends Stuart hangs loose Agnes finally gets an intern And Maxwell critically fails at coffee

Hark, Dear Listeners! Listen to my tale of our heroes’ pre-lunch adventures! The dastardly Mercita siblings have begun their reign over marketing, and their first assignment is to transport a reassigned intern from Marketing to Sales. Will our heroes be able to navigate through the battlefield of the Sales floor and deliver Lugosh the Orc Intern (guest star Hart Wood!) to “Daddy Sales”? Or will they be waylaid by business goblins, oddly flavored vapes, and harsh “no clapping” policies? Stuart feels passionately about Daddies Brube thinks of a cool nickname for sheep Maxell inhales cotton candy Agnes calls out a tall lout And Lugosh reveals his ball point linage

Happy Halloween, dear listeners! Our heroes are taking a break from adventuring at NPC Inc to spend another night of terror and awkwardness at the condo of Orlando Jordan! Our heroes have invited some friends new and old to join them this year, but a sinister pall quickly falls over the party as they’re suddenly stuck babysitting a pair of eerie children. Can our heroes survive a night of sexy capes, nervous Pee Wees, human horsepedes, and dangerous Fort Night dancing? Or will they have…AN UNHAPPY HALLOWEEN?! The “stakes” (Ha! Vampire Joke!) have never been higher! Brube gets bored for the first time Rainforest Things her puppet Hobe fondly remembers a Gob joke Reagan leaves the White House Shadie berates a good boy Lyle finds his voice Maxwell pitches Zelda-edIn Agnes slurps that sucker down Creb pens “The Spine Who Loved Me” Stuart scolds Abraham Lincoln And Orlando is sexy Bart

Dear listeners, the clock ticks ever closer to the arrival of Linda Drakonis and our heroes are running out of time. With a card in hand and a battle on the horizon, our heroes must fight for either Team Taco or Thai Team (not confusing names at all). Will they bring peace to the Dragon’s lair and Cry’aig and Pal’a’s troubled marriage? Or will the arrival of Linda spell doom for one of our adventurers? In This Episode Agnes solves her own pizza quest Stuart gets a little blue/brown Maxwell theorizes the “Bossy-Puss Complex” And Brube sings “The Birthday Song”

Oh, dear listener, I hope you weren’t on the edge of your seat after our last episode, because if you were then this part of my tale will make you fall right on the floor! Our heroes are split, with Brube, Agnes, and Stuart being held captive by mundane conversation and Maxwell being caught up in a real pickle (not that pickles aren’t great! Let’s be fair to pickles, everyone). Listen now to my tale and hear a story of betrayal, envy, and Fantasy Netflix! In this episode: Maxwell is Mr. Mr. Salesman Agnes does her best Twisted Sister Stuart goes half-elf to half-elf And Brube kinda does a rope trick

A new day has dawned at NPC Inc., dear listener, and our slightly hung-over, clown-haunted heroes are at it again. Can they conquer their most difficult task yet: trying to decide what to do with their day!? Oh, of course they will! We wouldn’t have an hour long story about people just shootin’ the shit in an office and trying to decide what to do with their morning! Or would we? Seriously, we wouldn’t! They finally get off their butts and go on a quest like, ten or so minutes in. And it’s a very exciting, birthday-based quest! In this episode: Brube puts two arms and two legs together Agnes shows off her cock pocket Stuart dabs for his life And Maxwell trips a tricky trap