Desks & Dayjobs

Kaos Records presents a live EP by Satanic Panic, Live at the Dragon Known as Lincoln Hall Featuring: Reagan Longsocks on Bass/vocals Agnes Hellman on Guitar/Vocals Brant Beardkowski on Drums Hobe Shadetree on Vocals/a mandolin that wasn’t plugged in Sound by Mike Scipioni

Kaos Records presents a live EP by Satanic Panic, Live at the Dragon Known as Lincoln Hall Featuring: Reagan Longsocks on Bass/vocals Agnes Hellman on Guitar/Vocals Brant Beardkowski on Drums Hobe Shadetree on Vocals/a mandolin that wasn’t plugged in Sound by Mike Scipioni

It’s showtime, dear listeners! Satanic Panic takes the stage to open a rowdy rock show as their friends descend from the balcony seating to dive into the tumultuous pit. Will our heroes be able to “rock steady” against a grumpy crowd that’s unsure if this folk-punk band is to their tastes? Will Agnes lead her band to glory, or will this night be the end of the line for her music ambitions? Grab a shot of the famous Fantasy Chicago liqueur “M’lord” and enjoy this exciting, semi-musical season finale! In this episode Maxwell regrets Tory/Tony is nobody’s baby Stuart has a strong reaction to being slapped Al attacks a zombie’s father issues Gerbbi gets Spider-Manned And Agnes gets an offer she may not be able to refuse Featuring “Pirates Libertaires” by Komiku and original music by Satanic Panic (Liz Getty, Hobert Thompson, Michael Scipioni)

Oh dear listeners, here we are at the long awaited Satanic Panic concert! The stakes have never been higher for our heroes! As Maxwell decides what to do about his entanglement with The Cult of the Blue Eye, Agnes navigates a chaotic backstage of gruff roadies, clingy co-workers, and a reunion she never saw coming. Will our heroes be able to make it to the stage on time? Will Stuart be able to fit in amongst some undead fans of a certain upbeat, horn-laden music genre? Will Tory ever get to smoke inside?? Find out in this exciting episode with consequences that will change our game forever! In This Episode Stuart finds acceptance & failure with the Ska-letons Agnes makes a deal with a very needy devil Gerbbi goes Tory really, really wants to wants to break some rules And Maxwell treads water/lightly Featuring “Fuzz Walkabout’” by Teknoaxe (http://www.reverbnation.com/teknoaxe), “Pirates Libertaires” by Komiku, and “Blue Ska” by Kevin MacLeod

It’s mere hours before the Big Concert and our heroes are split between the green room at The Dragon Known as Lincoln Hall and the nearby country-western bar Possum Jones’ Bar & Grill. Get ready for some action, dear listener, as our heroes leap into two simultaneous battles: The Green Room Scuffle and the Barroom Brawl. WOW! Two battles in one episode? I hope everyone’s ok! It would really put a damper on the concert if half the cast died on their way there! Who do you think will be battle MVP? Maxwell? Tory? Thaddeus? Stuart? Gerbbi? Agnes? Hobe? Beardkowski?? Tune in for exciting conversational combat and maybe you’ll learn the true meaning of friendship! In this episode Tory is the DM now! Look at her! Stuart slams Drake (the Drake) Agnes undercuts a dramatic moment for drink tickets Maxwell finally takes down Jon, Garfield’s enemy And Gerbbi gets critical…and critical again Featuring “Fuzz Walkabout’” by Teknoaxe (http://www.reverbnation.com/teknoaxe), “Rural Stride” by Josh Kirsch

Ho Ho Ho! It’s me, Santa Claus! I know you’ve been trying to be good all year, and guess what? You failed! But that’s ok, I can tell you really tried and so I have this special gift for you: another Desks & Dayjobs Holiday Special! Oh Ho Ho! The look on your face! You seem, happy? Confused? That’s ok! I think you’ll enjoy this year’s holiday party at holly, jolly NPC Inc. Our coworkers have assembled with a couple of special guests to exchange gifts, drink frosty beverages, eat ham, and honestly, talk about piss way too much. It’s a festive free-for-all once again that doesn’t end in a brawl, but briefly devolves into one. We’re sorry for the title of this episode, Ho Ho Ho! In this episode Rainforest takes another level in girlfriend Maxwell manga-splains his gift Gerbbi decks the halls with Godzilla Agnes designs a fantasy footwear brand Tory’s just here for the ham Hobe wins his War on Christmas And Stuart goes full, jingly elf

Ding Dong, that’s the bell that signifies the work day is over, dear listener! There’s not an actual bell in the episode, but I thought you might enjoy the flood of school memories. Did your school have the rectangle pizza? I wonder if it’s as good as I remember it being. Anyhoo, back to our tale of a Friday night, a concert, and five co-workers on a quest to have some fun and tie up some loose ends from a week of questing. As out heroes prepare for the night, hard decisions are made, hearts are broken, hairstyles are changed, and there’s almost a robbery. It pretty much goes off the rails immediately. Can our heroes get their gear to The Dragon Known as Lincoln Hall and enjoy some pregame drinks with some upper-management heroes? Or does danger (in the form of uncomfortable conversations) lurk around every corner? In The Episode Stuart is both waxed and wane Gerbbi is our series’ Baby Yoda Agnes leads some cathartic screaming Maxwell picks a drink to reflect the changes in his life And Tory tries to charm/

Our heroes are still cast to the wind like so much…seeds, or whatever, as their work day is starting to come to a close. Maxwell takes some time to enjoy his delicious lunch at Kirin Sushi with Felix Fox and talks about his options/Dragon Ball Z, Agnes and Gerbbi take on an easy task, Tory makes a phone call, and Stuart sneaks deeper into Gemstone Designs. Pretty easy adventures, right? Wrong! Traps, contracts, intense security guards, executives, and a really pissed off CEO stand in the way of our heroes and their quest to “work for the weekend.” Can our heroes reunite in time for their Friday night festivities? And when they finally do, will they still be a team, or are the forces around them turning heroes against each other? In This Episode Maxwell is between a something and a something place Stuart criticizes some monster poetry Tory recalls an affair that never happened And Agnes and Gerbbi rock-paper-scissors

It’s lunchtime, dear listener, and our heroes have successfully thrown a birthday party for Loro McMorgan, the most popular goblin on the sales floor. With victory in their hearts and Hawaiian food in their stomaches they take the lunch break to do some adventuring on their own. Agnes, with some supernatural help and Tory in tow, sets out to deliver a reminder of happier times to Mama Storybrook, only to find the past is a prickly subject for the menacing matriarch. Stuart takes a trip to Gemstone Designs to deliver Pam’s letter, but finds a horde of designer kobolds and an eerie security kiosk in his way. Finally, Maxwell meets with the mysterious voice from the hotline, only to find that the Cult of the Blue Eye has more than sushi waiting for him for lunch. Oh, I almost forgot Gerbbi! Gerbbi does his Gerbbi thing. In This Episode: Stuart is now Stu-Bucket Tory takes three cookies Gerbbi does his Gerbbi thing Agnes makes awkward small talk with a ghost And Maxwell hates how much he cares

It’s an eerie Friday the 13th at the offices of the shady shipping syndicate: National Parcel Co. The employees are used to moving contraband, but on this dark, spooky night the moon is full and there’s a mysterious package they need to guard. The package is due for The Hoffman Institute, a local research center for the paranormal, but some botched paper work has left it stranded with money due. Can a crooked accountant, a sleazy salesman, a secretive secretary, a scared bartender, and a disgraced paranormal expert keep this curious crate safe for a night? Or will fate’s fickle fiendishness lure them to open the box and seal their doom? Listen to our tale of terror for a yarn of murderous spirits, malevolent Mickeys, and a familiar harbinger of doom! In This Episode: Leonard just wants to read his books and loses his head Dr. Richardson almost gets Gerb-stomped and horny Maxwell takes a trip on a steamship and performs poorly with pistols Argus will find you if you’re crying and makes a blood sacrifice Zel

Our heroes’ lakefront vacation is coming to an end, so it’s time to leave the beach and head to the ballroom for once last night at Kaos Manor. With a lot on the line for Al, Deb and Tim team up to support their old friend. Just kidding, Tim runs off with Tippy to buy some beach weed, and Deb makes moves to reignite her dormant photography career. With our heroes scattered across the beach like so much sand, what can possibly bring them together for a satisfying ending? A dance competition fulled by booze, passion, and “special” pudding? Yeah, actually, that should do it! Tune in to this conclusion to the Kaos Beach Blanket Bingo saga, which is basically Rashomon. In This Episode Deb does a photoshoot for a crab and eats a bowl of pubes Tim defends The Fire Beatles and does a dune stunt And Al argues with a cubist painting and dances his truth Music by Komiku “Pirate Libertaires” and “A Good Bass for Gambling”

Our 1960’s adventurers are back in this continuation of their Kaos Beach adventure! In this installment our heroes Tim, Deb, and Al hit the beach in their finest beachwear. With Stan Cardealership flopping joyously in the water and Carla entertaining guests, our friends finally have some time to catch up and kick back in the sun. Drinks are had, crushes are flirted with, and Tim gets closer to his familiar mystery date. But as the day progresses, trouble drifts ashore as a group of hippies with malicious intent demand to use the beach. Can our heroes continue to navigate these increasingly choppy social waters? Will danger inspire Deb to take back up her camera? What’s Al going to do as Carla draws him closer? Where the hell is Tim going? In This Episode Tim debuts his beach look and wows Deb breaks down on the beach And Al argues his politics and for a flask

Earlier in our tale, dear listener, Agnes Hellman found a photo of her mysterious patron, Al Buchanan, and his oldest friend, Deb Hammer placed between the pages of her precious guide to conversational mastery, How to Talk to Anyone. Instructed to take this photo to Deb, now known to our heroes as the menacing Mama Storybrook, Agnes set out to conquer her Friday. But on a weekend a long time ago, Al Buchanan and his friends set out for a weekend at the lake house of his friend, mentor, and lover for a weekend of fun in the sun they’d never forget. This is a that story. In this installment, Tim Tim the reporter, Al Buchanan the ad man, and Deb Hammer the photographer reconnect a year after Tim and Al were fired from Feyboy to drive up north in the car of Deb’s new blockheaded beau. Once they arrive in Tarraesque, WI, they face grim butlers, spooky paintings, and drinks with their devilish hostess. Can our heroes make it through this first night? Or will one night at Kaos Manor send them screaming back home wi

It’s a very special birthday party for a very special goblin, and our heroes are in charge! Quickly abandoning their plan to let the goblin interns set up the party, they get really excited and start tricking their coworkers to go off and get gifts for Agnes. In context it…sort of makes sense. Finishing up the job the goblins started, our heroes are confronted with one of their biggest challenges ever: lighting a can of Sterno! Can our heroes put together a feast worthy of NPC Inc.’s best salesperson? Can they convince Quinn the Medicine Goblin not to tell on them? Mix yourself a “Surf’s Up, Buddy” and count how many brands will our players reference in this exciting episode! In This Episode Agnes plays some Catan Gerbbi criticizes some Tik-Toks Maxwell sexualizes the Bluetooth mascot Stuart uses premium Bardify And our heroes meet a familiar group of podcasters Music by Komiku "I got 99 broadswords but this one isn't one (store's theme)"

It’s Friday, dear listener, and our heroes are waking up, bleary eyed from the night before to see their day laid out before them. With Agnes’s confidence in herself and her band on the line, they must ask themselves a deadly Friday question: work hard? Or play hard? Can our heroes face the last day in this long, eventful week? Can they make it unscathed through the day and rock out at The Dragon Known as Lincoln Hall? Where the hell is Gerbbi? Hanging out in his clocktower apartment? Maxwell is feline Nermal (feeling normal) Stuart reveals his bed preferences Agnes becomes a haunted house And Gerbbi shows off his scamp stamp

Time for our heroes to gather on the field of mental battle and face their foes in a spirited game of bar trivia! After making some bets and pissing off their competition, they settle in to face Maurice Feather’s BoneZone Trivia. With a paid-for tab on the line, our heroes test their minds versus a two teams of spooky monsters and one of their old foes, The Heroic Herd. Can our heroes win, or are they going to have to…*gasp* pay for their own drinks the rest of the night? Tory’s ass is lawn Gerbbi becomes the Gerbbibreadman Maxwell wins MPP, “Most Polite Player” Agnes casts a charisma smell And Stuart has to settle for Specter Featuring “Battle Theme” by Komiku

Oh, dear listeners, our heroes are still reeling from the sudden loss of their friend and have to face more bad news to end their Thursday. What are our heroes to do? Go drinking at the Bone Zone, obviously! With their new party member, the difficult to read Tory Mercita, in tow they head down into the Crypt for the Ripped. Will it be a night of happy hour drinks, or will it be another chance for them to make enemies, alienate lovers, and make a wager with a menacing, trivia-loving monster? Maxwell calls Hotline Bling Stuart critically loses his ID Gerbbi debuts his erotic watch Agnes teaches Rainforest the ol’ plastic bag trick And Tory reveals her butt was cigarette packs this whole time

Hello dear listeners! Our heroes are taking a sunny afternoon off from office work to go to the BBQ cookout of a friendly, Buber driving Minotaur they met in a previous episode! Can they navigate the metaphorical maze of conversational traps at this party full of damp vampires, flirty sphinxs, mad hermits and a quartet of familiar, grill-loving giants? Can Agnes find a way to win the sauce contest? Can Maxwell get someone to try his Japanese dessert? Can Stuart get laid? How drunk will Gerbbi get? Check out this exciting live episode, recorded at Bit Fest! at Chicago’s The Crowd Theater! Gerbbi introduces “Gerbfeld” Stuart tries to solve the riddle of romance Maxwell dissects the flawed logic of Ben Harpiro And Agnes sets a new record for Nat-20s

Hark, dear listener! Our heroes are on their way to run some basement errands for their boss, Joanie Hoffman, and maybe help the security guards along the way! Well, not all of them. Brube takes some time for a solo adventure so she can pay a visit to her secret office-within-an-office. What is Brube looking for in there, and who else might be lurking around the marketing floor? Tune into this exciting episode for moments of whimsical beauty, and a goodbye that requires no rolls, only waving. Agnes is just a silly little girl, yikes Maxwell calls Michael Caine Stuart is hairy-d and looking ruff Tory takes some alone bang time Gerbbi writes a short story about a guy who makes him mad And Brube reflects on all her jet skis and the sea Featuring “Credits, thank you for playing” by Komiku

Taking a brief pause from their busy Thursday, our heroes take some time to reflect, connect, and bother Tory. I hope you like art, dear listeners, because this part of my tale uses a very clever storytelling device that is later abandoned and never mentioned again! Get ready to write a 1000 word essay on the use of this, again, really cool narrative structure! I expect the essay by the next chapter, ok? Very good. Enjoy the show. In this episode Maxwell takes his lady to the Shirt Store Brube makes a messy entrance Stuart wants to be catfished Gerbbi is sweaty, sneaky And Agnes can’t read, but she sure can play guitar