Simply Abundant Intuitive

Are you searching for a unicorn? I’m talking about someone whose specialness makes everything in life seem amazing. Someone you are (and forever will be) attracted to, who will never upset you or trigger you, who you’ll always have a deep physical connection with. Like unicorns themselves, this romantic idea you’re invested in is a fantasy. Love exists with another human who is flawed by nature. In this week’s episode we’ll look at what keeps you searching for unicorns (if you’re an Avoidant or Anxious Avoidant, pay particular attention). The kind of “perfect” love you’re looking for is only in the pages of a fairy tale. It’s a place where pain doesn’t exist… which is where many Avoidants like to live. You can continue searching for what is unrealistic, or you can look inside and deal with whatever emptiness, pain, and anxiety you’re feeling. Because unconditional love does exist. It’s just different from what you’re looking for.

Kieve is the founder and CEO of Engager Brands, where he combines music and cannabis to create authentic lifestyle brands like Heavy Grass, Neon Roots, and Clown Cannabis. Each has roots in music and resonates with the communities that align with them. With more than 25 years of experience in the music, cannabis and tech industries, Kieve leverages his knowledge and industry relationships to create these unique, cutting-edge brands. He was one of the founders of the leading cannabis media company, PRØHBTD Media, which built the first multi-platform video network. Join me for a spirited conversation about mindset and motivation as Kieve shares the secret sauce for his unique brand of success. www.engagerbrands.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/kievehuffman/

Labeling someone as a narcissist (or dysfunctional or whatever) often comes from a place of pain and lack. They hurt you, so you want to feel superior, but blaming them for the way they are and the way they treat you doesn’t boost your self-worth. It may temporarily feel good, but that puts you in the position of victim, and victimhood is powerless. In this week’s podcast we’ll look at how to let go of the idea that they’re a monster and you’re their victim. “Diagnosing” them gives you a sense of control, but you do yourself a disservice when you look for fault in others instead of taking responsibility for the decisions you make. It can feel crappy to admit you CHOSE this person, but it’s also empowering because that means you can make a different choice. You can make small, loving choices toward you.

Yes, there is good in all of us. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags in a relationship because you want to see the good in people. And it certainly doesn’t mean it’s your job to make those red flags go away; to shine that diamond in the rough! When you tell yourself what an amazing person you are for seeing the good in someone, that’s your ego talking. It’s the false part of yourself seeing the false part of others. And it’s totally rooted in insecure attachment. Emotionally healthy people don’t sacrifice their own wellbeing for others. When you believe this martyr story and ignore or excuse red flags, you sell yourself short. You do NOT deserve a “broken” person who needs rescuing. That road leads to unhappiness because it’s an impossible journey, and you’ll never find what you’re looking for. Focusing on the other person means you’re avoiding yourself. In today’s podcast we’ll explore this story we tend to create, and how to change it. Ignoring red flags doesn’t make you noble. Let’s dispel t

Go ahead, buy that car. You’re worth it. Your well-earned promotion will finally show people you have arrived. How do you measure your worth? Is it by what other people label as important, or what you feel inside? Will chasing money, fame and success make you feel worthy and valued? Of course not. Some of the most successful people in the world have an enormous sense of lack, believing more accolades will eventually fill them up. Intellectually you know fulfillment doesn’t work this way, yet your subconscious still searches for validation over the next mountain. So where does your internal value come from? Much of it is learned in childhood from your parents’ feelings of worthlessness. Yep, it’s passed down, so to speak, through the generations. Of course you didn’t know this as a kid; you simply modeled their behavior and emotional responses. And instead of seeing the problem as theirs, you believed something was wrong with you. In today’s podcast we’ll look at how we search for worthiness externally, and h

As a self-proclaimed late bloomer, it took Treva Brandon Scharf longer than most to find her direction in life. After attending multiple colleges, Treva moved from Beverly Hills to New York, then back to LA, racking up a string of relationships she was never fully committed to. It wasn’t until she hit her 40s that she realized she forgot to get married and have kids (oops). Join Treva as she shares her unconventional journey in love and life, going from copywriter to personal trainer to life coach, and from single to married for the first time at the age of 51. After years of trying to find a partner, Treva reveals what eventually led her to her husband. Today she writes about surviving singledom and finding love later in life on her blog, The Late Blooming Bride. She is also a dating coach, speaker, and podcast host. “Here is the key to the kingdom; this is the magic: surrender.” —Treva Brandon Scharf Learn more about Treva at: Website: https://trevabrandonscharf.com/ Instagram: @trevabme Twitter: @treva

The same dance happens all the time in unhealthy relationships between an anxious and an avoidant. The anxious struggles with self-value so they perform: see me, pay attention to me! This neediness causes the avoidant to run. But then, when the avoidant is away, they miss their anxious partner. They want to feel that “closeness” again so the avoidant returns and the whole cycle goes on repeat with the anxious clinging and the avoidant running. The anxious partner tends to blame the avoidant for problems in the relationship because THEY did the leaving. Anxious see themselves as the emotional ones while their avoidant partners are robots. In truth, the anxious person is avoiding too. They are avoiding their feelings and avoiding responsibility. Both parties want control, blaming the other person so there is a winner and a loser. Where is the love in that?? In this week’s podcast we’ll dig into attached relationships driven by fear and anxiety. There are no winners and losers here—only losers. Whether you are

Let me set the scene: You’re dating someone and feel this incredible connection. Maybe you sleep together. Then, seemingly out of nowhere they say, “I adore you but I can’t give you what you want and hope we can hang out as friends.” Gut punch. It’s incredibly painful, especially when you thought things were going well. But what’s even more painful? Going along with it. You’re afraid that if you leave, you’ll lose your one and only chance at a relationship (hello, scarcity). Plus, when you do hang out “as friends,” maybe they hold your hand or give you some other mixed message that keeps you hanging on. But when you choose to stay, you wait for a someday that may never come while anger and frustration build. So folks, that’s what we’re talking about in this podcast—why this happens and what to do if you find yourself in this situation.

As a kid, Suzanne wanted to be famous. So it’s fitting that today she lights up whenever she’s on stage, inspiring people to reach their highest potential. But, of course, there was a dark area in between. When she had her heart broken at age 16, a wall went up that wouldn’t come down for many years. Instead of feeling her emotions, Suzanne waited for the clock to strike 5pm every day so she could pour a glass of wine. But in 2013, while waiting for 5pm to roll around, she had an awakening. “When you plug into infinite possibilities and let something bigger than you move through you, you will radiate.” --Suzanne Adams Join me as Suzanne shares her life before and after 2013, including an entire year that she dedicated to loving herself. Feeling alive and activated, she started learning about feminine and masculine energy and how to balance them. Today she is a thought leader in personal development, energetics and leadership. Suzanne’s latest book “Quantum Vibes” (inspired by her TEDx talk) demonstrates how

Growing up, did you have to people-please and perform to earn your spot on Santa’s “nice” list? For many of us, we learned that gifts had to be earned, and there wasn’t much room for a good person who screwed up sometimes (i.e. a regular ol’ human). We were labeled as either good or bad, worthy or unworthy. For a jolly fellow, there sure were a lot of strings attached. And we got the pleasure of carrying those beliefs into our actual relationships—who needs that gift? The point of this podcast isn’t to villainize Santa, but rather to acknowledge how our childhood impacts our current relationships so we can identify patterns of behavior. As kids, we bought into those stories about what we deserved and where to look for validation (under the Christmas tree), but as adults, we get to challenge—and change—them.

You don’t trust your partner. He/she is lying and cheating… or you’re afraid they are. Maybe you have an ex who cheated on you so you are hyper-aware of certain behavior. Like if you see your partner acting flirty with someone, which sends you into that crazy, anxious paranoid mode. This reaction, however, is more a reflection of your negative beliefs and how you don’t trust YOURSELF. You don’t trust that you would be able to handle the disappointment of the relationship ending. What if you never recover? What if you just attract another cheater? Staying in a relationship like this allows you to play the victim while assigning your partner to the role of perpetrator (can you say drama triangle?). You get to blame him/her while taking no responsibility for why you stay… and you may be doing this without realizing it. Being a victim feels strangely secure, but it’s a prison that you choose to be in. If you remain, pain and anxiety will be constant companions. To break the chains of disrespect, distrust, and la

“I love failing and I don’t think it should be a dirty word.” —Lola Berry Lola Berry is one of those rare birds who runs towards what scares her and embraces failure, believing there is always something to learn. With every fail, fall, and drop, she builds her resilience and stands a little bit taller. As a kid, she wanted to be an actress, and today she is chasing that dream in Los Angeles. Born in Melbourne, Lola finally won her US green card… right after she met her boyfriend. Join me for a fun and connected conversation with Lola as she talks about her literal and figurative journey to where she is today—splitting her time between Los Angeles and Byron Bay, Australia (and how she makes her relationship work). In addition to being an actor, she is also a nutritionist, yoga instructor, podcaster, Instagram influencer, best-selling author and co-creator of a medicinal brain tonic called Lola Coffee. Her biggest piece of advice? Run towards what fills you up. Learn more about Lola: https://lolaberry.com/ h

When something doesn’t go your way in a relationship, or you don’t get what you want, insecurities can get triggered: I’m unlovable, I’m never a priority, this always happens to me, etc. And that can turn into desperation for what you’re not getting. You NEED it so you try to strategize how to get it... yet a feeling of powerlessness remains. In this week’s podcast we’ll look at what fuels this desperation. What stories do you have on repeat, and what beliefs are you perpetuating? What deeper feelings are you avoiding? I’ll also help you distinguish your true feelings from reactions because focusing on reactions can send you down a path of blame and victimhood. Once you start breaking down your stories and beliefs, you’ll find it much easier to get what you want.

Are you still stuck on a relationship that ended months, maybe even years ago? You’re still carrying this longing inside of you, always wondering what life would have been like if they had stayed. A part of you is still waiting for them to come back, to give you some kind of closure for the sacrifices you made. Looking back on your memories, you think you still love them. It may feel like love, but what you’re really feeling is attachment. To move past the emotional triggers that are still keeping you attached to your previous partner, you have to start by taking responsibility for your own emotions. Once you find your agency, you can empower yourself to make a change. In today’s podcast episode, learn 4 tips to let go of the pain of your past relationship and finally put it behind you.

Jen is a mom of six with a PhD in human development and family studies. Growing up in Iowa to farmer parents, Jen was often in charge of her younger brothers—even cooking meals by age 8. She kept the house running and constantly questioned whether her bedroom was clean enough. This, unsurprisingly, led to perfectionism and over-achieving (ahem, PhD and six kids!), so by her mid 30s she was massively burned out. “You deserve to be happy and fulfilled. If you can start to believe that, it will have a trickle-down effect on how you interact and how you hold boundaries.” —Jen Riday Join me for a conversation with Jen where she talks about the day she decided to be happy no matter what. It happened to be Christmas, but the gift she received was not joyous or expected. It did, however, set her down a path that led to where she is today: supporting women (mostly moms) who have lost themselves. She helps them take care of themselves and set healthy boundaries so they can realign their identity with who they really

Avoidants avoid—that’s what they do! And when they try to avoid pain, they remain stuck in a state of struggle (although they don’t know they’re in struggle). If you are an avoidant, your emotions are often left unbothered and undisturbed. You may go through life believing you’re happy because you have numbed the pain. But if a crisis hits and your emotions are out of control, you compartmentalize them, hoping someday you’ll feel better. You probably isolate yourself or shut down and avoid vulnerability in an attempt to protect yourself from pain. On the surface you look like you have everything together, but inside you’re filled with anxiety from trying to avoid your pain. If you’re the kind of person who bends over backward for a family member, yet gets frustrated because that person always complains, you may be avoiding a deeper pain. Maybe you don’t like to be criticized or do things wrong… but you don’t know that about yourself because you don’t allow yourself to “go there.” Instead, you bury those feel

Oh how intoxicating chemistry can be. The high that tells you you’re alive; a combustible mixture of floating and anxiety that makes you believe you can’t live without drinking the other person in. You think you need the fireworks…as if that’s real life. It’s not. Those outsized moments have nothing to do with reality or a healthy relationship. And how often is that high followed up with panic and desperation when you don’t hear from your flame? Welcome to attachment hell where you feel like you’re possessed by something outside of you and it takes your sanity with it. It may feel good in the moment, but attachment addiction always has you looking for your next hit. If this sounds even vaguely familiar, don’t miss this episode for some questions to ask yourself about what’s missing or stagnant in your life. Because hum-drum reality can actually be a wonderful place to live and engage in a true, authentic partnership.

When Marni was a kid, she knew deep down she wasn’t the favorite or the golden child, but she pretended it wasn’t true. As class president and editor of the school paper, overachieving was how she proved her worth. It wasn’t until after her failed marriage that Marni started looking for meaning that wasn’t attached to external achievements. “What are the things you’re pretending not to know that you know? They’re the truth.” —Marni Battista Join me for an enlightening conversation with Marni where she talks about engineering a dating process that made her “rejection-proof,” and why she sold her house to travel the country with her husband in a 400-foot RV. Today Marni is a transformational life, love, and relationship coach, as well as a podcast host and the founder of The Institute for Living Courageously. She has appeared on CBS, ABC, Dr. Phi and Loveline as a fill-in for Dr. Drew. Learn more about Marni at: Instagram: @datingwithdignity Instagram: @lifecheckyourself Youtube: Radical Living Challenge Pi

Do you believe trust must be earned? Like your partner showing you their texts to prove he/she is dedicated. Trust isn’t about controlling what another person says or does, and it’s not something to be exchanged, like money. In fact, trust isn’t about other people at all—it’s about you. When you don’t trust yourself to handle a situation, you decide the other person is the problem. Trust occurs when words and actions match, and trust is broken when they don’t. You expect that from other people, but do you practice it yourself? In this episode we’ll talk about how to become the trustworthy person you expect others to be. And how it’s better to trust that you can handle life than to expect other people to change.

This episode is for all the chronic dieters out there. That used to be me. I was just as attached to dieting as I was to finding the perfect partner. Yes, attached to dieting because attachment usually doesn’t restrict itself to one area of your life. Whether the object of your attachment is a partner or food, they both come from a state of lack; you need something (or someone) to fill you up. If you believe you’ll be worthy of love once you hit your ideal weight, you might be attached to dieting. If you use food to soothe yourself (then crash diet and berate yourself) because doing deeper emotional work is hard, you might be attached to dieting. In this episode I’ll point out the similarities between love attachment and food/diet attachment, plus a few steps to bring more awareness to what you’re doing and why. If you are constantly at war with food and it’s keeping you from living your life, this one's for you.