Mantalks Podcast: Purpose | Legacy | Relationships | Self Mastery | Business

Talking points: psychology, mindset, self-talkThis is one of THE things that blocks men from all kinds of growth and progress. An internal dialogue that is harsh, abusive, shaming, even cruel. Let's change that, shall we?If you or someone you know is constantly deprecating or talking negatively towards themselves, strongly encourage you to share this one. It's important.(00:00:00) - Intro, how prevalent a harsh inner critic is, and how nasty mine was(00:06:56)- Where does an inner critic come from, and how is it formed?(00:11:13) - Neglect and abandonment(00:15:52) - Trauma as an origin for a harsh inner critic(00:16:57) - “Dark motivation” and it’s useful but maladaptive power(00:23:15) - It damages your ability to appreciate or validate yourself (00:24:45) - What to do, what NOT to do, and questions you can use to find your inner critic’s origin(00:28:09) - Figure out what it wants(00:29:51) - Set some boundaries(00:31:34) - Repurpose the loyal soldier(00:34:31) - Build a relationship with this part of you*

Talking points: parenting, children, attachment, psychologyYou may have heard me mention Duey before. He co-facilitates the ManTalks Men's Weekends with me, and his work is absolutely incredible. I was thrilled to sit down with him last week, just before our sojourn to Texas. We dive into all things attachment. How children and adults experience it, when it starts forming, and how my own son has taught me some incredible lessons on it. Also, listen in for Thunderbutt. No, I'm not kidding.(00:00:00) - Intro and Duey’s take on why real elders don’t seek power(00:10:08) - How do we begin to truly understand our partner?(00:15:49) - On the importance of curiosity and not assuming you know someone—especially your partner(00:21:28) - What are the building blocks of really healthy attachment?(00:30:52) - Attachment is somatic, and how children are inherently, incredibly sensitive(00:45:27) - What “interrupts” attachment?Duey Freeman, MA, LPC is co-founder of the Gestalt Equine Institute of the Rockies, director of t

Talking points: mindset, psychology, the shadowIf you've been following the show for a while, you'll know I'm a big Jung fan. You also don't have dive too deep into his work to find game-changing ideas of his. Here are 3 short yet sublime ideas of Jung's that you can reflect on—and maybe even execute on—pretty much right away.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:01:46) - “Who looks inside, dreams. Who looks outside, awakens.”(00:06:00) - “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”(00:10:12) - “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”***Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's WeekendPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.

Talking points: AI, porn, relationships, conflictYowza. So grateful for Matthia's thoughtful and nuanced ideas on everything from artificial intelligence to therapy-speak to anger and approaching relationships. We go from the esoteric to the practical and back again, so listen in team. This is a great one to share with a partner.(00:00:00) - Intro, Matthia’s adventures with AI, and how it's already shifting culture(00:16:42) - When AI does things TOO well(00:20:32 ) - How AI will impact intimate relationships and the porn industry(00:30:37) - What do AI and AI porn mean for the next generation, and how they’ll be impacted(00:35:17) - How technology always has unintended consequences (00:43:05) - Why does everyone seem like a narcissist according to online commentary?(00:50:40) - On villain/powerlessness dynamics, and mature anger, and how trauma therapy is like a software update(00:58:20) - How couples can end cycling or repeat conflicts(01:05:55) - Mathia’s non-negotiables for lasting intimacy and deep relat

Talking points: mindset, emotions, habits, burnoutEver get the feeling you...don't feel anything? Yeah, me too. This is something that affects just about everyone at some point in their lives, and it contributes to overuse of all kinds of coping mechanisms. Here's what numbing out is, where it comes from, and a five-step method on how to get out of it.(00:00:00) - Intro and the biggest misconceptions around numbing out(00:05:26)- Don’t see numbness as a villain, and some numbness “caveats”(00:09:29) - What causes us to numb out? How is it a learned response?(00:14:55) - What we need to know before we stop numbing out(00:17:22) - The first step: what are you using to numb out? (00:18:36) - Create a plan, and why you shouldn’t expect cold turkey to go well(00:21:42) - If you have trauma, there’s a caveat (00:23:32) - Numbness is itself an experience(00:25:17) - Use your breath to reconnect to your body. Here’s why(00:31:03) - Look for sensation(00:33:45) - Final step: letting the sensations have a voice***Build

Talking points: stoicism, mindset, philosophy, parentingBrian proves that Stoicism is anything but unenthusiastic. We cover so much ground here, and Brian's passion and joy for what he does is inspiring. If you're looking for clearcut ideas on how to craft a self and a life that you're proud of, this is the episode to listen to—and share with your friends!(00:00:00) - Intro and Brian’s defining moment(00:06:50) - What is areté?(00:09:02) - Why has there been a resurgence of stoicism?(00:14:42) - Brian on how to parent when things are floundering, and how stoicism tackles fear and laziness(00:21:24) - How does Brain raise his own son in an increasingly chaotic world?(00:28:47) - What are some challenges young boys face today that are unequivocally different than before?(00:39:11) - How does someone use Stoic principles to build more discipline with things turning to punishment?(00:45:56) - “So…do I just have to go through the suck then?”(00:51:54) - The science of hope(01:00:27) - What is “targeted thinking”?(

Talking points: coaching, therapy, masculinity, mental healthEyebrow-raising title aside, I know from personal experience it can be wildly difficult for coaches and therapists who work with men to make actual progress. But! There are clearcut reasons for this, and there are clearcut things you can do. So if you're a coach or therapist who wants a better experience for both you AND the guy in your chair, listen in. If you're not one of those, then use this as a guide to help you find a coach that's right for you!(00:00:00) - Intro(00:01:50)- Therapists tend to work with men the same way they’d word with women(00:04:00) - The major reasons coaches/therapists struggle to get results(00:09:42) - So how do you actually get results? And why rapport is so important(00:11:38) - Get him out of his head and into his body(00:16:05) - Develop the skills to truly be with his intensity(00:20:54) - Identify where he feels he lacks competency—and build a plan(00:22:50) - Learn to work with a man’s resistance, and repurpose h

Talking points: food, addiction, cravingsI've gotta say, I enjoyed this one a lot. Glenn has a TON of practical, actionable, and science-based advice on tackling cravings—and a nice dose of good humor. Grab a pencil and listen close for this one, team. (00:00:00) - Intro(00:02:26)- Why are so many North Americans overweight?(00:10:01) - Glenn on the declining quality of food(00:17:24) - Getting away from packaged food is generally more important than a specific diet(00:19:57) - Why is overeating such a thing, how do we approach letting go of that, and “organismic distress”(00:39:24) - More helpful examples of organismic distress(00:43:17) - Where does understanding a craving start?(00:54:53) - How does a craving actually get extinguished, and the “extinction curve” that they takeGlenn Livingston, Ph.D. was the long time CEO of a multi-million dollar consulting firm which has serviced several Fortune 500 clients in the food industry. You may have seen his (or his company's) previous work, theories, and resea

Talking points: anxiety, parents, relationships, attachmentThanks to everyone who's written in on these guides, I love hearing from you. Next up? Anxious attachment. What is it, where does it come from, and what you can do to work yourself—and your relationships—away from it. If you've ever found yourself doing stuff like getting anxious because they didn't text you back or because you need their phone password, this might be the ep for you.Curious about other guides? Check out my free PDF, A Man's Guide To Ending Codependency: https://training.mantalks.com/codependency(00:00:00) - Intro(00:03:14)- The core essence of anxious attachment(00:07:53) - Some differences between secure, avoidant, and anxious attachment(00:09:57) - Causes of anxious attachment; number one, inconsistent parental responses(00:15:08) - Ask yourself: how was my upbringing unpredictable, or where were my parents unpredictable?(00:17:19) - Cause number two: overly intrusive caretakers(00:23:38) - Cause number three: emotional dependence e

Talking points: trauma, hynotherapy, ADHD, insomnia, neurology, psychologyTeam, this is an episode chock full of info. I've never touched on the subject of hypnotherapy before, but it's interested me for a while. Professor David Spiegel came to dispel some of the misinfo around hypnosis as a therapeutic practice, and he offered a TON of insight into what's really happening in the mind and brain during a proper session. If you've ever been curious about hypnosis or are looking for new healing methods to try out, this is the episode for you.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:03:05)- Myths about hypnosis(00:09:14) - The neurology behind hypnosis(00:17:43) - Neurological similarities between hypnosis and psychedelic experiences(00:24:26) - More on what’s really happening in the brain during a hypnosis session(00:28:35) - Can hypnosis help with ADHD, and how men tend to have difficult accessing a somatic experience(00:35:52) - How can hypnotherapy help with trauma?(00:42:59) - Hypnotherapy and healing the somatic intensity of

Talking points: relationships, conflictKey word there? Improve. There will always be some form of butting heads, no matter the relationship, no matter how long. But it doesn't have to be something that creates wreckage. It can actually be helpful. Here's what to do.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:02:27)- The first three minutes, and why conflict CAN be productive(00:04:57) - Know the role you tend to play(00:05:47) - Breathe and ground, breathe and ground(00:07:20) - Don’t get stuck in the objective reality and ignore the subjective experience of each other(00:11:33) - After a year, most couples already pretty set-in ways of arguing, aka this is gonna take practice(00:12:42) - Study (and I mean study) the first three minutes of conflict***Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's WeekendPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Rela

Talking points: biology, nervous system, burnout, mindset, angerI've said a number of times on the show that people with regulated nervous systems are going to be extremely well-equipped for the coming days. To that end, I wanted to bring dysregulation expert Dr. Linnea on to show how important—and how possible—it is be grounded, regulated, and flexible in our responses to life. If you're chronically stressed, THIS is the episode to listen to.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:03:56)- Why is learning about nervous system dysregulation so important?(00:11:09) - What the ultimate core function of the nervous system really is(00:21:08) - The intelligence of anger(00:25:30) - How Dr. Linnea helps people identify and move through their anger(00:33:32) - How much are nervous system issues derived from our parents?(00:37:20) - On children, boundary testing, and how a little bit of adversity is actually beneficial(00:43:35) - What’s more important: developing sensitivity to your current nervous system or understanding(00:53:01) -

Talking points: attachment, mindset, relationships, psychologyThe last “A Man’s Guide” was a big hit. I had a feeling it would be, but the response still surprised me! Next up, a serious breakdown of avoidant attachment. Here's the definition, where it comes from, the signs, and tips for moving away from it in a relationship.This is a great episode to listen to with your partner. Take notes, discuss, and see what comes up! Lastly, thank you to everyone who reached out with comments, questions, ideas, and gratitude. I love doing these longer-form presentations; it means I get to nerd out and really lay things down.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:03:56)- Defining secure attachment versus avoidant(00:06:51) - Attachment styles don’t mean you’re broken or diseased in some way(00:08:20) - What an avoidant attachment style ultimately is, where it comes from, and one major type many men embody(00:15:12) - One major origin point of avoidant attachment: emotional distance or unavailability(00:23:59) - Another major origin point

Talking points: childhood, trauma, foster care, relationshipsWe all know that poverty can have a massive impact on a child's future well-being, sense of self, attachment style, and more. Foster children face equally (if not more) significant challenges. Rob Henderson, author of the incredibly powerful book, "Troubled", explains some of what happens. Team, I strongly recommend this one if you're interested at all in childhood trauma, how attachment develops, the apparent demonization of young men, absent fathers, and of course, Rob's book. Seriously could NOT stop reading it.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:06:54)- How Rob approached writing such a profound book—and why(00:14:27) - What’s the foster-care system like in America?(00:23:01) - How does the foster-care system shape a child’s perspective on relationships?(00:36:01) - How Rob found a sense of belonging(00:39:23) - How did Rob repair or build relationships with men?(00:46:06) - Rob’s take on how absent fathers impact children(00:51:33) - On “Young Male Syndrome”

Talking points: mindset, sabotageIt's not easy, I know. We all do it, and we all wonder why. But there's a way forward—and it's simpler than you think, my friends. Listen in.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:03:12)- What people do immediately after sabotaging, why it’s NOT effective, and what to do instead(00:06:12) - Practical steps to move beyond self-sabotage(00:10:49) - If there’s one thing to take away from this***Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's WeekendPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training

Talking points: zen, meditation, mindfulness, psychedelics, mindsetI'm one of those people who hated sitting down and meditating, even after a few years of trying to practice. It's now something I do nearly every day, and it grounds me in ways I can't explain. This is a pretty common story, especially among men I've worked with, so I brought Henry Shukman back on the show to dig into what novice meditators get wrong, what some good starter methods are, and really: what IS thought, anyway?Listen in for a great look at the start and "end" goal of mindfulness, and Henry's infectious enthusiasm for this powerful practice.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:03:47)- Do men and women have different struggles with meditation?(00:08:35) - Why do meditation and mindfulness draw more women than men?(00:18:45) - What are the initial resistance points when people start a meditation practice?(00:25:03) - What IS thinking?(00:31:57) - But what’s the actual goal of mindfulness, and how do you get there? (00:38:56) - The power of allowing,

Talking points: politics, cultureRecent data seems to show young men skewing more and more conservative and women more progressive. Why? Well, to my eyes, there's one major factor and a few others that are generating this shift. Listen in.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:03:21) - What factors into this?(00:04:42) - What happens for men in some progressive circles(00:06:40) - And what happens for men in conservative circles(00:09:26) - Other reasons impacting this shift(00:13:38) - We’ve attached gender roles to political ideologies***Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's WeekendPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It he

Talking points: relationships, mindfulness, marriage, logic, social mediaMaybe you’ve heard me say this before, but the modern dating scene seems, well, insane. Case Kenny sat down for a great, insightful convo on why that's a thing, from the expectations social media feeds us, to the meaning of marriage to how AI is going to mess with all of it—or not.Listen in and share this ep if you want honest thoughts and some straightforward tips on navigating modern relationships!(00:00:00) - Intro(00:04:34)- Why are women worried about being “too much”?(00:13:43) - What are guys actually trying to communicate to women who feel they’re “too much”?(00:17:01) - On relational conflict, solving it, and how social media doesn’t do you any favours(00:22:10) - On social media, intimacy, independence, and “settling down”(00:33:10) - Case’s take on declining marriage rates(00:39:01) - Case’s great definition of mindfulness, and mindfulness in the context of relationships(00:49:58) - How can men use mindfulness to improve their

Talking points: relationship, mindset, psychologyThis is a big one, dear listener. This is a slightly new format for the series; specific topics I'll do a deeper dive on, centering on how you as a man can better understand them, better work through them, and better help others through as well. First up? Codependency. If you've got a specific topic you'd like me to cover, hit me up on Instagram @mantalks!(00:00:00) - Intro(00:04:11) - What is codependency?(00:08:30) - One the hallmark indicators you’re in a codependent relationship(00:10:43) - Major causes of codependency: the peacekeeper, abuse, emotional unavailability, and the caretaker(00:30:24) - The tale of Johnny Niceguy(00:35:54) - The signs of a codependent relationship (00:38:59) - Seven questions to ask yourself(00:40:47) - Ways to actually move OUT of codependency, plus one that guys generally don’t like(00:49:48) - Perfection is a fuel for codependency***Want a more intense, in-person experience? Join a Men's WeekendPick up my book, Men's Work: A

Talking points: hormones, testosterone, environment, fitnessIs there a testosterone crisis? From the headlines I've read it sure seems like it. But what's going on, where is it coming from, and what can you do naturally to stay healthy? I sat down with Lucas Aoun to cover all of these things and more. Dig into this episode for a brilliant intro to optimizing hormone levels—particularly testosterone—and knowledge on how to avoid hormone disruptors.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:01:10) - What’s happening to men’s hormone levels, the symptoms, and what testosterone is responsible for(00:09:41) - On cortisol, testosterone, and key building blocks(00:16:26) - Outside of stress, what are some things negatively impacting test levels?(00:22:07) - What about cardio or fasting?(00:31:33) - Naturally optimizing testosterone with diet and sleep(00:40:47) - Lucas’ take on TRT and the consequences(00:45:06) - On tongkat ali, fadogia, shilajit, and other supplements(00:56:44) - Lucas’ thoughts on creatineConnect with Lucas-Website: