Mantalks Podcast: Purpose | Legacy | Relationships | Self Mastery | Business

Talking points: traumaThis was an honor. The word trauma gets thrown around a lot these days, so it's important to get back to basics and really sink into what's going on and why. After all, this is humanity we're talking about, and we're nothing if not complex. Peter is a legend in therapy circles for his groundbreaking work in somatic education and trauma work, so we dug into many of the different (and unusual) things something like trauma brings to the table. Both Peter and I encourage you to listen WITH someone!(00:00:00) - Peter’s definition of trauma and how it affects the body(00:07:27) - Peter demonstrates a somatic exercise to help release trauma(00:13:14) - Do men and women experience and handle trauma differently? (00:21:40) - On how trauma needs witnessing to heal, and Peter’s experience with active imagination (00:34:14) - Navigating the almost mystical side of healing(00:39:45) - Why the tiger?(00:43:27) - How can men work in a healthy way with anger, and how betrayal can impact how someone expr

Talking points: mindset, relationships, sex, cultureMildly spicy title, serious thoughts within. All joking aside, there are a number of things that most of us men do that undercut or diminish our sense of inner leadership, authority, and trust. These are the top 10 that I've seen in my work and in myself.(00:00:00) - Intro(00:02:28) - Stop making excuses for not working out regularly, and stop giving women free attention on social media(00:09:46) - Stop comparing yourself to other men(00:15:41) - Cut back on time wasters, or let go completely(00:19:07) - Learn how to stop pursuing short-term gratification, and kill the lottery mindset(00:24:17) - Stop believing you’re fundamentally broken(00:29:38) - Stop thinking you need to do it alone, and stop thinking that peace comes after some monumental achievement***This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate, whether you’re looking for one or not. Visit BetterHelp.com/ManTalks today to get 10% off your first month.Pick up my book, Men's

Talking points: relationships, sexI've worked with a LOT of men and a TON of couples in relationships, situation-ships, and what have you. When it comes to what YOU as a man can do to craft a thriving partnership, there are 3 sort of "rules" that have come up again and again. They're also what changed the game for me and led to the wildly wonderful marriage I have now. Listen in.(00:00:00) - Intro and rule #1: stop worshipping sex(00:05:24) - Develop the self-esteem and willingness to walk away(00:09:08) - Get into the right place in your life, THEN find a woman***Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation.Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Allia

Talking point: relationships, communication, boundariesI am so honored to be talking to Nedra this week, whose work and words have helped untold numbers of people. Her work on boundaries balances firmness with kindness in a way that I find inspiring. If you're wondering how to be more assertive and have deeper communication in all your relationships, this is gonna be your episode.(00:00:00) - Intro and how closeness is measured by depth(00:09:39) - Emotional followthrough is critical(00:14:48) - How to invite others into deeper conversations and how men get trapped in problem-solving mode in relationships(00:27:31) - Do men and women approach boundaries differently? (00:33:41) - Nedra’s take on what men miss with women in communication(00:45:56) - How much does our family system impact our ability to have boundaries?(00:50:11) - Nedra’s thoughts on the future of therapy, and what’s going to be necessaryNedra Glover Tawwab, MSW, LCSW, is the author of bestsellers Drama Free and Set Boundaries, Find Peace, lice

Talking points: social media, masculinity, culture, the manosphereYou know the type. The conflict-focused, disrespectful bastions of non-matured masculinity. All loudly promising—if only you follow their framework—the secret to making millions and having your own harem. I get a lot of asks to weigh on this. Specifically, what makes these guys so popular. Here are my thoughts.(00:00:00) - Intro and what I grew up with(00:03:39) - The feeling of virility and reckless certainty is understandable, but it has a cost.(00:07:49) - If I were 19, I’d get the appeal(00:10:05) - Men with actual status aren’t out there selling you status, and the formula these guys use(00:14:55) - We need to pull back and ask who we’re actually listening to(00:17:54) - It’s hard to find real elders; harder to listen***Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation.Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://

Talking points: relationships, sexThrilled to have Dr. Laurie return! This time, we go deep on sexual attachment. How it shows up, how it's a little different than the attachment styles you might know of, and what might be blocking it in your relationship. There is TONS of good info and insight here, team, so listen closely.(00:00:00) - What is the “sexual attachment cycle”?(00:05:59) - Where does the push-pull dynamic start, and how cues to sex slow down in some relationships(00:14:37) - What secure sexuality looks like on relationship (00:21:19) - Why men come out of a hookup generally more satisfied than women(00:27:29) - How do you end the push-pull dynamic and create secure sexual attachment?(00:34:19) - Navigating intimate conversations, and don’t be fooled by social narratives(00:43:21) - What creates a sexless relationship, and how to move forward (00:51:13) - Rebooting sex after a sexless relationship: the blocksLaurie Watson, Ph.D., MA, LMFT, LCMHC, Director of Awakenings, certified sex therapist, c

Talking points: anxiety, relationshipsYou asked, I answer! The latest Man's Guide, specifically for folks dating someone with anxious attachment or just general anxiousness. I've had a ton of couples come to be asking how to tackle this, so here are the important things to ask yourself, and six points you can work on right away.(00:00:00) - Intro and one of the most important elements to shifting this dynamic(00:03:38) - What role in the dynamic are you playing? It can be hard to admit!(00:06:48) - Signs your partner has a lot of anxiety, and the general impact on you(00:12:33) - Immense amount of empathy for those with anxiety(00:15:18) - So what do you do? On responsibility and regulation(00:21:11) - Don’t personalize the panic, and create some movement(00:25:01) - Pull them back to the present moment, and one powerful question to ask***Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation.Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkn

Talking points: masculinity, culture, relationshipsWhat is it men are actually looking for? We know how media tends to define "masculinity", but what is it men are wanting to define? I sat down with MELD founder and fellow coach Owen Marcus to dig into some of this, because we've both found that what men really want and what mainstream narratives say they want are often two different things. Dig in, team.(00:00:00) - Why do you think “masculinity” gets so much attention in our culture?(00:05:44) - When are where do men feel most aligned, and why getting out of your head is important(00:12:07) - Where did mature masculinity go, and the balance of biology and culture (00:19:25) - What happens when men miss moments of maturation(00:27:03) - The value of being able to share what you’re going through with others, and what gets in the way(00:33:27) - What is emotional physiology?(00:39:24) - Tools to get back into the body, and what about men who avoid the work for fear it’ll make things worse?Owen Marcus resisted

Talking points: business, mindsetI've been asked this for a long time now, and finally decided to press the button. I don't work in this industry to show off lambos, cohibas, and designer suits. It's to help other men be what they know they're capable of being. So if you're someone who's teaching, coaching, or making something for men, listen in, because here's what I've learned.(00:00:00) - Intro, why I’m making this, and the problems to solve when working with men (00:10:25) - What I’ve discovered works well. Number: get clear on the problem you’re solving(00:12:33) - Speak to men directly. Not ABOUT men (00:15:08) - Use multiple platforms, but have one in the lead, and pay for training(00:21:04) - Leverage other people’s mastery and credibility by paying for partnership(00:25:55) - Give value every step of the way(00:29:47) - Develop a very deep level of competency(00:33:51) - Build really strong relationships(00:40:16) - Repetition, time, and consistency ***Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join u

Talking points: purpose, archetypes, trauma, perfectionism, abandonmentThis week, a shadow work session with an anonymous guest. If you've ever wondered what this kind of work is like, now's your chance to check it out. My guest today has already done some great work and has found drive and purpose, but something has kept him from taking action. As we work to find out what's going on, we learn about past events that laid a foundation of resistance.Note: there's some heavy stuff in here. You've been warned. This episode has also been edited for clarity and anonymity.(00:00:00) - Intro, what brought my guest in today, and the Guardian of the Threshold(00:07:09) - What's contributing to the overwhelm, and the guest's mother(00:14:30) - Going deeper and connecting with the somatic experience(00:21:57) - The connection between resistance and two events in the past(00:34:17) - We don't always need the full story in order to heal, and homework***Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's WeekendPick up my book, Men's

Talking points: mindset, the shadowI've been fascinated by the power of a good question for as long as I can remember. These are five simple (but not easy) ones that have radically altered my life for the better. I still use them today when I'm feeling stuck or unsure in my health, business, and relationships. Listen in!(00:00:00) - Intro and the importance of good questions(00:04:00) - Your mind has a LOT of unconscious content, and it’s actually useful(00:06:43) - The benefit of framing questions as “sentence stems”(00:08:45) - “The one thing I don’t like people to know about me is…”(00:10:25) - “The one thing I could take action on that would make a difference is…”(00:12:58) - “Is this something I can influence, or is it out of my control?”(00:16:10) - “What really hard thing can I do that will make my life better?”(00:18:35) - “What am I missing by choosing to worry?”***Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's WeekendPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage,

Talking points: relationships, authenticity, mindsetHow do you truly live life for yourself while navigating a relationship? What does it take to navigate what both of you want without creating resentment? How do you break free from what you're "supposed" to be—but remain authentic? These are all questions Lisa Bilyeu has had to answer in order to create an incredible life, and she's answered them powerfully. A privilege to sit down with her and dig into the intensity that can be modern relationships! Definitely going to be a part two!(00:00:00) - Intro and Lisa’s defining moment(00:07:25) - How Lisa held onto her authenticity and broke free from external validation(00:12:49) - Lisa’s take on modern relationships, and the nuances of what women want(00:27:19) - What women really want men to understand(00:37:55) - How Lisa and her husband navigate who leads in the relationshipLisa Bilyeu is cofounder of the billion-dollar company Quest Nutrition and cofounder and President of Impact Theory. She is the host of W

Talking points: psychology, shame, mindsetTrying so hard not to reference the bell ringing lady in Game of Thrones right now. Seriously though, a lot of us let shame run our lives. There are legitimate reasons why, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Listen in for how it starts, why it's so hard to clear, and ten (yes, ten!) thing you can do to break free.(00:00:00) - Intro and how to better define shame(00:03:30) - Why shame is so hard to get rid of: it’s natural, and its has a somatic component(00:08:16) - It also can reinforce trauma. Here’s how they get connected(00:13:52) - Shame as a source of safety(00:18:36) - Understanding the physical side of shame(00:23:21) - What does NOT help(00:25:51) - When to seek professional help(00:26:59) - Ten ways to move through shame. First one? Use curiosity to challenge it(00:30:32) - Mindfulness skills, reframing, and separating personhood from behaviour(00:35:00) - Putting the same in context, treating as a belief vs identity, and putting blame where it belongs(00

Talking points: masculinity, culture, mindsetWe've had a lot of new listeners recently, and this interview deserves a ton of attention. Jason's words and work are powerful examples of how important men's work can be. This is a re-release of one of my favorite interviews, one of the most impactful stories, and worth every minute. Dig in for thoughts on comprehensive masculinity, the dangers of "grindset", and so much more.(00:00:00) - Intro and Jason’s defining moment(00:07:45) - The video that got Jason global attention(00:13:22) - Defining “emotional incarceration” and its devastating effect on men(00:18:58) - Why do some men have such an aversion to rest and replenishment?(00:24:52) - How Jason got into martial arts, and how he uses it to support young men(00:33:54) - On the importance and teaching of defeatJason Wilson is the founder and CEO of the Yunion (pronounced union), a non-profit youth development organization in Detroit Michigan. Since 2003, the Yunion has effectively reached more than 15,000 yout

Talking points: attachment, relationshipsGot a LOT of requests for this one! Relationships between anxious attachment and avoidant attachment folks are actually quite common. They can also be extremely tough. Listen in for what they're like, why the patterns are hard to break, and how to move towards a secure, grounded partnership.(00:00:00) - Intro, what characterizes the anxious-avoidant dance, and why there’s no “villain”(00:04:08) - Why that dance is so strong(00:08:28) - Examples of the anxious-avoidant dynamic(00:12:58) - Can anxious-avoidant relationships actually work, how to know if it won’t, and how to END the dance(00:16:56) - The “protest and punishment” behaviors, and how to self-identify if you’re the anxious partner(00:21:23) - How to self-identify if you’re the avoidant one(00:27:05) - So what do you to? Tips for the anxious(00:33:05) - Tips for the avoidant(00:38:19) - What to do together***Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's WeekendPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face

Talking points: relationships, culture, sex, security, familyI'm lucky to be interviewing experts in all kinds of fields, but it is consistently enjoyable to dig deep into relationships. What keeps the spark, how couples navigate conflict, and how people can with together to create secure and thriving partnership. Trevor's been at it for a long while, and his gentle yet firm approach is something to be respected. If you're with someone, pull this up and have a listen!(00:00:00) - Intro, and what is the “secret formula” for a successful love life, and what causes good sex in a bad relationship?(00:07:42) - How do you move out of attracting insecure relationships? (00:12:57) - What can a secure person or couple do to combat potential boredom with a relationship? How can security be sexy?(00:18:43) - The importance of spontaneity for relational satisfaction(00:21:54) - How do you support a partner through fears and insecurities around relationships deepening?(00:27:35) - Navigating criticism, because you can’t c

Talking points: leadership, accountability, group settings, masculinityIf you're thinking about starting a men's group, or just want to know what to look out for, this one's for you. With everything going on in the world, I want to dig a little into creating your own men’s group—or what to look out for if you’re thinking of joining one.Because the truth is there are legions of men who would benefit from belonging to something focused on the mutual benefit of everyone involved. Seriously.(00:00:00) - Intro, and five traits to look for in the men you want for your group(00:07:58) - Where most guys go wrong: lack of leadership, clear roles, and overstructure(00:09:42) - The right amount of structure, and consequences of too much victimhood and not enough accountability(00:12:31) - What are some of the core ingredients of a powerful men’s group? Number 1: some like-mindedness(00:13:54) - A clear purpose, and clear rules of engagement(00:17:04) - A culture of calling one another forward, and strong moderation(00:1

Talking points: culture, parenting, psychology, lyingParenting has never been easy, but our modern culture adds a few extra layers of challenge and questions. Fortunately (and sometimes unfortunately, as you might have found out), there's a mountain of info online. This week, I sat down with the brilliant Dr. Aliza Pressman to dig into what works, what doesn't, what parents are facing these days, and how to sift through it all. Lots of great info here for anyone who's got kids or who's thinking about it. Seriously.(00:00:00) - What kind of landscape are parents in now, and what do you think they’ll face in the future?(00:11:15) - How do parents prep their kids for the onslaught that is social media?(00:14:43) - Defining executive function, and how to build an environment that helps cultivate it(00:25:03) - How do you help your kid develop good impulse control?(00:32:09) - The early stages of development: what’s going on?(00:37:56) - On learning how to manage discomfort, create safety, and the importance of ro

Talking points: attachment, psychology, mindset, relationshipsAlright team, this is one of the biggest guides yet! There were a TON of requests to cover this one, so I happily obliged. This attachment style is also called "disorganized attachment", and I've worked with a ton of men who have it. So let's dig in on what fearful-avoidant attachment is, how it affects relationships, and how to move back towards something more secure, authentic, and thriving with easy, deliberate steps.(00:00:00) - Intro and defining fearful-avoidant attachment, and how conflicting it can feel(00:08:20) - Where this attachment style starts, and what makes it different from anxious and avoidant(00:13:19) - What does fearful-avoidant look like in a relationship? (00:15:38) - What builds a fearful-avoidant style? Neglect and/or inconsistency(00:23:33) - One of the most important (and unspoken) needs of a child(00:28:19) - Parentification, one of the most common causes of fearful-avoidant attachment (00:33:37) - More on what this look

Talking points: purpose, initiation, adversity, grief, cultureIt isn't always easy to find a sense of purpose or meaning in life, never mind feeling initiated into maturity. In these chaotic times, it gets even harder. This is a special compilation episode featuring four masters of finding humanity, clarity, and meaning in life. Their combined efforts have helped legions of people get a better handle on life and all of its twists and turns. Two of them are people I revere as elders, and three work with men and purpose on a regular basis. Featuring ideas from...-Lion tracker, coach, and storyteller Boyd Varty: https://boydvarty.com/-Depth psychologist Francis Weller: https://www.francisweller.net/-Culture activist Stephen Jenkinson (unreleased material!): https://orphanwisdom.com/-Writer, teacher, and coach Rainier Wylde: https://www.rainierwylde.com/-Purpose guide Tim Corcoran: https://www.purposemountain.com/(00:00:00) - Boyd Varty on the role initiation plays in a man’s life—and what happens without it(00:1