Mantalks Podcast: Purpose | Legacy | Relationships | Self Mastery | Business

Talking points: aging, mindset, personal growthI bottomed out in my 20s and nearly lost everything. When I finally emerged from the rubble, I had NO idea where to even begin. The following are things I learned the hard way, so if you’re in a similar spot, strongly encourage you to listen in. Here’s how you rebuild.(00:00:00) - Intro and number 1: make competency your aim(00:03:33) - Number 2: get in shape(00:05:24) - Number 3: learn how to save and invest, and get yourself out of debt (00:07:45) - Number 4: figure out if you’re a number one, number two, or a worker bee(00:10:23) - Number 5: take women off the pedestal ***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a revi

Talking points: relationships, sex, social media, non-monogamyIf you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I think the current dating scene is, in a word, messy. So I’m grateful to have sat with Todd Baratz on why that’s the case. I love Todd’s practical, honest yet understanding perspective on the issues, because it allows for all the complexity and nuance relationships can bring. To sum it up: communicate, communicate, communicate.(00:00:00) - Todd on why modern relationships seem like a mess, new social values, and social media’s effect(00:13:54) - What causes us to sometimes lose a deep sense of self in relationships, and how our original attachment contributes (00:18:30) - How all this influences sexual expression, and bridging the gap between different preferences(00:25:47) - What you need to open a dialogue about what you want sexually, and where couples go wrong (00:32:41) - “Too good to leave, too bad to stay”, and are relationships starving for lack of community?(00:37:02) - Do straight an

Talking points: accountability, relationshipsBefore anything else, not all women struggle with this. But some who do (and the men who love them) have asked me to speak on this. You’ve probably seen the memes or heard a story or two, but it’s always better to actually do some thinking. Here are my thoughts on why some women admit to struggling with accountability—and how to hold a partner accountable in a healthy way.(00:00:00) - Intro and reason 1: different tools for social status(00:05:41) - Reason 2: women are disincentivized by the “patriarchy virus”(00:07:52) - Women are socialized to be more dependent on men(00:10:05) - How to hold a partner accountable in a healthy way, and what NOT to do***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around th

Talking points: exercise, stress, science, testosterone, mindsetI think this episode takes the cake for highest amount of information. Dr. Layne Norton is. on. fire. Seriously, dig into this if you’re looking for what REALLY works (hint: it’s probably not going to be the fun option). We cover everything on managing stress, testosterone, and the right mindset to bring it all home.(00:00:00) - What got Layne started, and how wildly effective exercise can be(00:07:59) - Layne on managing stress(00:14:42) - On finding and prioritizing real friendships, and your responsibility in managing stress (00:24:20) - What happens when you’re stressed, and why stress isn’t automatically bad(00:35:22) - Layne’s own experience of how important it is to process bad experiences, and the effect of stress on testosterone(00:43:37) - Taking responsibility, why it’s worth trusting the science, and owning what you CAN control(00:55:53) - Layne on TRT and what will actually boost testosterone(01:03:44) - Tactical practical things to

Talking points: grief, fatherhood, anger, masculinityThe void left by a father who’s gone can feel impossibly difficult to handle for many men. I’ve had a lot of them in my practice, and the impacts on their life can be pretty severe. If you or someone you know grew up without a father, strongly encourage you to listen to this one. These are the lessons you might have missed.(00:00:00) - Intro and the first thing: grieve the absence. (00:05:33) - Understand the true role of a father, and take it upon yourself(00:08:28) - Every son has the right to be angry with their father(00:12:37) - A woman can never hold the key to your masculinity(00:14:24) - The last thing: it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded

Talking points: attachment, relationships, intimacyYou’ve heard about attachment. Maybe you’ve discovered you or your partner (or both!) have a specific kind. Ok, cool. But what do you DO with that info? How do you move forward?That’s exactly what Sarah Baldwin and I sat down to discuss. From the deep origins of our survival strategies, to their impact on intimacy, and how to work WITH it all and get some self-security going. Listen in.(00:00:00) - What is a disconfirming experience?(00:07:54) - How do our early experiences with attachment inform the partners we choose later?(00:17:15) - Remember this is all subconscious, very human, and can be changed with work(00:27:47) - What happens in someone’s body when they have a more anxious or avoidant attachment style(00:35:38) - Insights on what to do if you’re avoidant or anxious(00:43:33) - What CAN a securely attached relationship look like?(00:50:57) - How does all of this impact intimacy?Sarah Baldwin is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and trauma-trained

Talking points: mindset, death, changeAlright, you’re past 30. Assuming you’re past the usual advice you get from all the corners of the internet, what’s next? Because all the “you need to make more money, you need to get to the gym, you need to wake up earlier” stuff is fine—don’t get me wrong—but it's also entry-level work. Listen in for the harder stuff.(00:00:00) - Intro and the first thing: regret(00:03:10) - Don’t make your future self suffer because of who you’re being now(00:06:06) - Death is right around the corner(00:10:52) - Your unwillingness to find or create your definition of freedom is a kind of death, too***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a r

Talking points: grief, loss, relationships, masculinity, angerI met David at a psychotherapy symposium a while back, and it wasn’t long before we were sharing some of the things we’ve grieved. He just has that calm yet strong presence. He’s also, of course, an absolute expert therapist. We dig into everything loss in this episode; how the 5 stages actually work, what death does both for and to us, and much, much more. This is absolutely an episode to share with someone you feel could use it.(00:00:00) - Intro, do men and women grieve differently, and the toll of not grieving(00:06:34) - Why unprocessed grief manifests as anger, anxiety, and more(00:11:10) - What brought David into grief work, the five stages, and where people get stuck(00:24:43) - On the loss of David’s son(00:32:12) - Does grief reshape identity, and the different ways of moving through it(00:35:50) - How to move through grief, and discerning when to “live again”(00:42:51) - David’s take on death denial, living currently, and how death chall

Talking points: self-worth, mindsetThis is a wildly simple fact, but so easy to miss. Self-esteem is built along the way, not something you find at the end of the work. Listen in.(00:00:00) - Intro and real reason your self-esteem takes a hit(00:03:14) - The secret hope(00:07:16) - It’s that simple, and that hard***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | SpotifyFor more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | F

Talking points: stuckness, energy, traumaBack in May, this anonymous guest came to me trying to solve what’s blocking him from making important decisions and taking action. We uncovered a traumatic event that started this, but that’s just the start of the process. Here are the next steps in understanding and healing this man’s trauma and helping him move forward.Strongly encourage you to check out part 1 here: https://link.chtbl.com/VaiRj0Oy(00:00:00) - Intro and catchup: the feeling of stuck-ness(00:12:00) - What punishment is stuck-ness protecting you from?(00:20:17) - Learning that feelings and energy can be moved(00:32:28) - An assignment for my guest to help him move forward***This ep was brought to you by Chubbies. Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code mantalks at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/mantalks #chubbiespodPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free r

Talking points: routines, mindsetI’m serious when I say this changed my life—and that’s coming from someone that hated mornings in general. It took a long time to turn into a habit, but it was absolutely worth it. Listen in.(00:00:00) - Intro and first step: actually get out of bed. Early. Here’s how to make it easier(00:05:57) - Drink a LOT of water right when you get up, and get the double S: stretch and sunlight(00:08:38) - Breathwork, and then 1 of 2 different workouts(00:11:20) - Face the cold, and journal (recommended: stream of consciousness journaling)(00:14:46) - The final and most important piece: connection***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a revie

Talking points: PTSD, trauma, intimacy, relationshipsIt's hard sometimes to know where to begin when it comes to traumatic experiences. Even harder when they're PTSD-level, or secretly impact your relationships/intimacy/work life. Which is exactly why I'm grateful folks like Dr. Frank, who live at the intersection of cutting-edge research, lived experience, and calm strength.We dive right into WHY these things happen and how they're stored in the body and mind, offering practical advice throughout. Strongly recommend you listen to this one!(00:00:00) - What can neurobiology teach us about PTSD?(00:06:20) - What are the symptoms of PTSD, and why disassociation, derealization, and depersonalization happen(00:16:31) - Where do you even begin getting a handle on PTSD?(00:23:13) - How Dr. Frank works with men on shame, whether they’re the shamer or the shamed(00:32:29) - How trauma impacts sex and intimacy(00:45:44) - Where men should start exploring their sexual potency(00:51:14) - The event that started it all f

Talking points: monogamy, relationships, cultureWell, can they? This started with me wondering why certain men who are notorious for sleeping around are suddenly hopping on the monogamy train, and ended with me hitting the record button and getting curious. And honestly, this is way more complicated than a binary "men must/can or must not/can't be faithful partners". Listen in and let me know your thoughts.(00:00:00) - Intro and why I’m diving into this(00:05:41) - Where does the idea that men CAN’T be monogamous come from?(00:14:59) - Monogamous cultures can have benefits, even though modernity seems to disincentivize it(00:16:22) - Most men ultimately prefer monogamy, but there are underlying issues***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from aro

Talking points: sex, technique, communication, relationshipsFrom the foundational ideas to simple practices you can start literally right now, this episode has it all. Deeply appreciate the wildly intelligent insight and practical advice here, courtesy of intimacy and relationship coach Caitlin V Neal. She says the V stands for Victorious; listen to this and I'm pretty sure you'll be feeling victorious yourself.(00:00:00) - Intro, foundational pieces to a great sex life, and how to start those uncomfortable conversations(00:11:03) - An incredible framework for communicating sexual issues(00:17:35) - The best way to create arousal for your partner, and “erotic blueprints”(00:26:38) - Responsive vs spontaneous desire, and helping your partner articulate what they want (00:37:59) - Techniques specifically for men(00:45:34) - The role and importance of breath for men (00:52:55) - Meditation + masturbationAs a firm believer in the transformative power of sexual empowerment, Caitlin V takes a holistic approach to

Talking points: mental health, mindset, diet, Whether you're just starting out with "the work" or you've snapped up a thousand books and podcasts, it pays to go back to the high-level now again again. This is a bird's-eye view of my framework on mental health, plus straightforward tactics that have been proven time and again by science, history, and my own personal experience. Dig in.(00:00:00) - Intro, and defining “mental health”(00:05:03) - My basic framework for what produces suffering(00:09:00) - Anxiety and energy(00:13:54) - Seriously, working out and meditation should be prioritized(00:16:25) - Limit your sugar, gluten, and caffeine(00:18:13) - Sleep, mother****er(00:21:58) - Social connection and body/breathwork practices(00:24:49) - Your body stores what you’re not conscious of***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead

Talking points: neurology, biology, trauma, mindsetThis was one of the most informative episodes I've ever recorded. As expected of Mastin Kipp, an old friend and incredible coach. We covered everything nervous system—and how there may be what you might call a "unified theory of trauma". Wildly grateful for this one! Note: we had some audio trouble for the first bit, but it cleans up after minute 12!(00:00:00) - Intro, and the fragmentation problem in therapy and coaching(00:08:47) - Mastin’s take on trauma, and the role of the nervous system(00:29:44) - Do men relate, store, and deal with trauma differently?(00:37:11) - Where do you as a man begin working with trauma—and where you don’t(00:49:13) - What if you’re worried it’ll mess with your productivity/relationship/abilities?(00:56:11) - How to simply improve your baseline wellbeingMastin Kipp, life coach, entrepreneur, author and self-taught expert on the human mind who bridges the gap between therapy, coaching, and personal development. With over two dec

Talking points: fatherhood, mindset, perfectionismTo many of you, I'm still pretty new to the dad game, but it's honestly boggled my mind how much being one has changed my life and perspective on things. These are just a few of the things I've learned—or you could say my son has taught me.00:00:00) - Intro, and number one: masculinity is modeled(00:07:51) - “I would die for my kids, but I won’t live my life for them”(00:10:21) - Your anger as a man is necessary. Your aggression is not.(00:13:48) - Structure and limitation actually give you freedom(00:16:27) - The aim is not perfection, the aim is progress***This episode was brought to you by Mando. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code MANTALKS. Head to https://shopmando.com #mandopodPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Medi

Talking points: transitioning, parents, resistanceSometimes in life, we feel stuck, and that can happen even after you've done "the work" and developed a deeper understanding of how your past shaped your present. My anon guest this week (like many of us) has trouble feeling feelings. Together, we dig a little into where that comes from and why.(00:00:00) - Intro and what it was like growing up(00:09:23) - “It’s hard for me to feel the hurt”(00:14:21) - What transitioning was like, and how we can honor both our parents and ourselves(00:23:55) - Connecting with grief(00:32:25) - It’s sometimes more about claiming what it was we wanted***This episode was brought to you by Cuts Clothing. Embrace the summer state of mind. Head to https://www.cutsclothing.com and use promo code MANTALKS to get 20% off your order.This episode was also brought to you by BetterHelp. If you're thinking of talking to someone, I encourage you to give it a try. Visit https://betterhelp.com/mantalks and you'll get 10% off your first month.

Talking points: truth, social media, relationships, men, culturePhew! Mark and I covered about a million things this episode, but that's what happens when you've been friends for over a decade. There's an overarching theme though: getting caught up in narratives, and how that actually fractures our ability to stay relational and kind to people. Dig in for this very wide-ranging conversation.Editor's note: while Adderall (dextroamphetamine) has some molecular similarity with methamphetamine, they are not the same. The attached methyl group—the "meth" part—lets the compound cross the blood-brain barrier very easily, last longer, and amps up how addictive it is. The "dextro" means the compound is arranged in a specific way so much lower doses can be used.(00:00:00) - Why men a seen as the problem in our current society, and how social media plays into that narrative(00:14:42) - Balancing our perception of what men and women each bring to the table(00:27:59) - How Mark approaches charged topics and binary thinkin

Talking points: mindset, social media, sexOut of everything I've done, this is one of the simplest and most effective. To be clear, it's not about going abstinence-only or becoming a prude. It's about freeing mental bandwidth and take, taking ownership of my desires, and creating direction in my life. Dig in.(00:00:00) - Intro, and why this isn’t about being a prude(00:02:14) - The DBC: Digital Brain Cleanse. Step one, content(00:06:17) - Step two: contacts(00:08:06) - Last step: consciousness***Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and