Live From Love

Are you stuck in a victim mentality? Often times we don’t even realize that when we complain and blame others for how we think and feel we are giving away our own power and putting yourself in a victim role.  What does that look like and how can we change it? Find out on this week’s episode.  

I think most people have a plan for their life and their marriage.  But what happens when things don’t go according to plan? What if things completely fall apart? What can we choose to think and believe about our life when things are so different than what we wanted.  Find out more on this week’s episode.   “Promptings or Me - Recognizing The Spirit’s Voice” by Kevin Hinckley.  https://amzn.to/2Yc2zSY    Call in your "a-ha" moment and leave a voicemail!  (385) 424-1032.

Are you the higher desire partner in your relationship? In this episode, we discuss strategies to help you build the intimate relationship with your spouse that you’ve always wanted. Play in a new window Download Show Summary: Today we are going to talk about being the higher-desire partner in your marriage.  In Episode 34 we discussed sex and intimacy coming more from the lower-desire partner perspective.  I believe that it is so important for each one of us to cultivate that connection and desire for ourselves within our marriage and I go a lot more in depth on that in Episode 34.   Higher Desire Partners   So today I wanted to address the opposite - what if you are the higher desire partner in your marriage?  Today we are going be focusing again on the higher desire partner for sex and intimacy, but there is usually a higher desire partner in a lot of aspects of marriage, not just sex.  If a partner desires something more than another partner then they are the higher desire partner.   Right now

What are you looking for in your marriage and in your spouse? Are you looking for the good or are you just noticing all the bad?  Did you know your brain will find evidence of whatever it is you are looking for? Find out more on this week’s podcast. Play in a new window Download Show Summary: Let’s talk about our brain a little bit. If you’ve listened to other episodes, these concepts will be familiar to you, but let’s just talk about them again. Our brain is constantly taking in information. Dr. Joseph Dispenza says that the brain processes 400 Billion bits of information a second. Isn’t that incredible? 400 Billion! But then it has to sort through all of that information for what is RELEVANT for us. (http://www.basicknowledge101.com/subjects/brain.html) Our brain is constantly looking for evidence to prove what we think about something or someone is right. Our brains love to be right. They would rather be right about something, that to have to expend the energy to try and think differently. So our brai

Often we react to situations in a split second.  We are not even conscious of the thoughts that drive our feelings and actions and we react to a situation poorly.  In this episode, you will learn how to respond to a situation instead of reacting to get better results in your life.     Play In A New Window Download   . . Show Notes: Reacting vs. Responding   Show Summary: Let’s talk about reacting vs. responding.  Some people use these words interchangeably, but I think there is a big difference between the two. Reaction A reaction happens in a split second.  It’s driven by an unconscious thought and it’s usually based on thoughts we tend to think over and over and over. Most often our reactions (since they come from not thoughts you aren’t thinking on purpose) don’t take into consideration the long term effects of what you do or say.  It might turn out okay, but often a reaction is something you regret later. Response A response on the other hand, usually comes more slowly.  A response usually comes from be

So many of us are afraid of judgment or criticism from others.  We hold ourselves back from doing great things in our lives for fear of being judged.  judgment from friends, family, spouses, even complete strangers?  Why do we feel judged?  Most of the time it’s a story we make up in our heads based on our insecurities.  But what about when they actually say it? What do you do? In this podcast, we will address what judgment and criticism are, and what to do when you do feel you are being judged by others.   Play In A New Window Download     Show Summary: I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the other day and the person being interviewed said her mom used to tell her when she felt she was being judged that “People don’t actually think about you as much as you think they do.”  Which is so true.  But…if you are feeling judged, this episode is for you.  So let’s get started. I have a lot of clients that feel judged by other people.  They feel judged by their spouse, they feel judged by their family, pa

Wanting validation from our spouse is pretty normal.  We want to feel loved, desired, and validated by the person we love most.   Why do we want that?  Why do we want anything? We want something because of how we think it will make us feel when we get it.  But feeling validated, worthy, and loved is available to you all the time without them ever having to say a word. When we understand who we are and our unchanging worth, needing outside validation is no longer something we need or crave.         Play In A New Window Download

We don’t love other people because they deserve it, we love others because love feels amazing.  It’s a gift we give ourselves.     Play In A New Window Download

Some people want to be seen as victims so they claim they are abused. Others refuse to see the abuse because they don’t want to be a victim or they think the behavior is normal.  So what is abuse? We will discuss it in detail in this episode.       Play In A New Window Download Show Notes: TheHotline.org Spiritual Abuse

Healthy boundaries promote self-responsibility and empowerment.  And while we may be afraid that boundaries separate us from others, they really do quite the opposite.  They lead us to closer relationships with others.  In this podcast, learn what a healthy boundary looks like and when to set one.     Play In A New Window Download . .

Most of us have a manual for our spouse. An unwritten list of do’s and don’ts that affect the way you feel? Your emotions tied up in someone else’s behavior leaves you powerless and at the mercy of someone else. Do you really want to tie your emotions to someone else’s behavior? I don’t think so! It’s time to take your power back!

What is agency?  Most people think that it’s being able to choose our path.  Choose right from wrong.  But I think it means much more than that.  Agency is the ability to choose everything! Even every single thought we think.  As humans, we just haven’t learned how to use this magnificent gift to its full potential.  But this podcast will help you see how you can use it more than you currently are. Play In A New Window Download . . Show Notes: Ensign Magazine - January 2019 Issue Articles referenced: The Gospel: An Eternal Life Hack and Teach Me to Fly: Achieving Emotional Self-Reliance in the Lord’s Way Show Summary: Today I wanted to address the topic of agency.  In my faith as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we talk about agency quite often.  We talk about it as a gift that as children of God we received so that when we came to earth we could “act for ourselves and not be acted upon.”  We consider it to be the greatest gift we have been given next to the A

Having a better emotional vocabulary helps you identify what you are actually feeling.  The feeling of “powerful” is going to drive a lot different action than feeling “good.”  So when someone asks you how you are doing today…. how do you want to answer?   “Fine?” “Good?” “Hanging in there?” or do you want to be “Awesome?” “Amazing?” “Confident?” “Productive?” How you answer could be the key to feeling exactly how you want to feel.

Who do you want to be in 2019?  “Over the years, I have observed that those who accomplish the most in this world are those with a vision for their lives, with goals to keep them focused on their vision and tactical plans for how to achieve them. Knowing where you are going and how you expect to get there can bring meaning, purpose, and accomplishment to life.” M. Russell Ballard 

Resentment is defined as bitter indication after THINKING you’ve been treated unfairly.  This is a huge issue I see in many of my clients.  In today’s episode we discuss 4 ways you can deal with resentment in your marriage and how changing your thinking is the key!     Play In A New Window Download   Show Summary: This podcast was actually at the request of one of my listeners.  Resentment is a huge issue I see in my clients, so I thought I would do a whole episode on it. Definition of resentment: Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly I would add to that definition that its bitter indication after THINKING you’ve been treated unfairly. So today I want to talk about 4 ways you can deal with resentment in your marriage.  I believe these solutions can also be applied to other relationships as well. 1. Addressing Your Feelings Sometimes people think they are falling out of love with their spouse when they are actually feeling resentment.  The resentment can make you angr

So many women think they don’t want to have sex because they are tired or “touched out” at the end of the day.  What was once a vital and important part of the marriage has taken a back seat to life and child rearing.  In this episode, we examine how the thoughts you are telling yourself are killing your sex drive…and how you can get it back! Play In A New Window Download     Show Notes: 3in30 Podcast with Dr. Finlayson-Fife Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Instagram: @3in30podcast @finlaysonfife Show Summary This episode I am piggybacking off of a post I did last week in my Instastories.  Last week, my friend Rachel at the 3in30podcast did a great interview with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife who is an LDS sex therapist.   It was titled “What happened to my sex drive and how can I get it back” I highly recommend you go listen to it.  In preparation to the interview, Rachel asked a question on her Insta-stories about why women didn’t have a sex drive and she posted a lot of the answers and it se

Most people think that happiness is the goal.  It’s what they want for themselves.  It’s what they want for the children.  It’s what they want for relationships.  In this episode, you’ll learn why that goal is actually not making you happy at all.

In this episode we talk about how to get everything you want for Christmas.  It’s probably NOT what you think….     Play In A New Window Download

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am sharing with you how important the emotion of gratitude is in your life and mine. Play In A New Window Download

In the final installment of my series on improving communication in our marriage, I have Tony Overbay, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and host of the wildly popular podcast, The Virtual Couch. I asked Tony to share with us how Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a modality he uses in couples counseling, can help us improve the communication with our partner.  He gives us some practical tips of what we can do together, what we can do on our own, and when its time to seek additional help.       Play In A New Window Download     Show Notes: You can find more information from Tony here: TonyOverbay.com Instagram: @thevirtualcouch Facebook: @tonyoverbaylmft Podcast: The Virtual Couch