Live From Love

We have all seen the Yin and Yang symbol and we may think we know what it means. But in this episode, let’s talk about what the different energies mean when it comes to sex. In our male driven society, sex is often looked at as Yang. But men and women have both Yin and Yang energies. The trick is to use both your Yin and Yang side to improve your sex life! Listen to find out how.

I have a lot of men come to me wanting to be coached. And while I feel for them, I have dedicated my life to helping women with their sexuality. But in this episode, I want to talk to you men out there. I know that you want to change things in your marriage, and not just because you want more sex, but because you want a truly intimate marriage. Let’s look at what you can do to help and what you shouldn’t do.

So often the men in our lives focus on what turns us women on. (Maybe we women do that a bit too!) But maybe they are consciously, or unconsciously, doing something that absolutely turns us off. In the past weeks, we’ve talked about sexual context and what turns women on. Now let’s take a look at what turns us off and how that knowledge can end up helping our sex lives.

In doing research for this episode, I found a lot of information that is just plain wrong! No wonder men are confused about what  women want! So let’s talk about what actually turns women on. What takes off your sexual brakes. And I’ll tell you, it’s not all about candlelight and sweet nothings. You may see things in a different light after you listen.

It’s all about context. We all want to feel emotionally connected to our spouse but are we sabotaging that with what we’re thinking about and focusing on? When you’re working on the mountain of laundry and your husband starts to help you, do you think, “He’s so supportive!” Or do you think, “It’s about time!” Context! And sex is all about context. Listen to this episode to find out why and what you need in order to have an amazing sex life!

Have you ever heard the phrase that a woman is like a race car? It isn’t that far from the truth. Our bodies were created with systems. And those systems are constantly scanning the environment for things that will press on our sexual accelerators or stomp on the brakes. The key is to figure out how to use that system to increase your sexual desire and have a little fun in the process. Let’s work on releasing those brakes, pushing on those accelerators and seeing what happens!

Garments aren’t sexy. It’s just the truth of the matter! But we are taught that they are an outward symbol of an inward commitment so maybe it’s time that we look at them differently. Symbols are arbitrary - they only hold the meaning that we assign them. So in this episode, we talk about some ways that we can change how we look at our garments, what we can do to change the way we think of them, and how we can increase our intimacy with our spouse.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard about the 5 Love Languages and how you need to figure out what your spouse’s love language is and give them love in that way. Now, there is some truth to this, but I also think that it often becomes a way to keep score to see who is the better partner. That’s not good for you or your marriage. In this episode, we talk about what is good for you and your marriage! You may be surprised by the answer.

Does your orgasm take too long? This is a complaint I hear all of the time from my clients. We as women are culturally trained that our needs are secondary to our husband’s and children’s needs. This is what makes us good wives and mothers, or so we’re taught. So, we often worry about how much time it takes us to orgasm. About whether our husband is bored. About whether we’re being selfish to even want to orgasm. Let’s talk about orgasms in this episode. You are well worth the time!

Did the title of this podcast surprise you? It surprises a lot of my clients too. But it actually makes a lot of sense that you don’t like sex. In this episode, we talk about the top reasons why you don’t like sex. Which one will resonate with you? Then we talk about why those reasons make it so you don’t like sex. Maybe in the end, you’ll find that what you’ve been thinking all along may not be the actual problem.

I want to ask you a question. Are you afraid of pleasure? Maybe you're thinking, “Of course not! I find pleasure in my family or my job.”  But the pleasure I'm talking about is intimate pleasure. Are you afraid to let go and be vulnerable in order to feel pleasure? Is it easier to focus on your spouse's pleasure rather than yours? In this episode, I share with you why pleasure is important! Why, in fact, it's part of who we are made to be!

In this episode, we’re talking about pressure. Both the pressure we put on ourselves and the pressure we feel from our spouses. And in reality, how the internal and external pressure isn’t good for our marriages. Let’s talk about why we put that pressure on and what we can do to let it go and have the relationship we want! Let’s get rid of some of that pressure!

In this episode, let’s talk about words. What are words? They are just letters and syllables that we have been taught are good or bad. But why are they good or bad? It all comes down to our culture. The English language lacks the subtlety that other languages have when it comes to love and our bodies. Maybe we need to take a look at that and change what we see as “dirty words.” Maybe it’s time to change some of those dirty words into sex positive works for us and our spouses.

In this episode, I speak with Mike Peterson about his experiences with fixing his sexual relationship in his marriage. I am so excited to share with you the male perspective of what happens in a marriage when you become more like roommates than intimate partners. Mike lives in Sandy, Utah with his wife Tami and their 5 kids. His passion is talking with other men who are struggling in their relationships to help them avoid some of the mistakes he made while trying to improve his own marriage.

In this episode, I am going to get a little vulnerable with you and talk about my experience with boudoir photography. I, like you, had the wrong idea about what it was and who it was actually for. Through my experience, and the experience of some of my clients, I have found that boudoir photography is less about your husband, and more about you! Once you listen to this episode, maybe your perceptions will change as well.

In American and Conservative Christian culture, we are often taught things about men’s sexuality that are myths. Actually, they are really outright lies. In this episode, we go through 3 myths about a man’s sexuality in the hopes that as we learn what is really true about men and their sexuality that we can have a more intimate relationship with our partners.

In this episode, I’m speaking with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about equality in marriage. This is something that is ingrained in our culture but can be really detrimental to our marriages. We want partnership marriages but to have a partnership marriage, we need to be partners in all aspects of our lives. We discuss how to reframe those ideals we were raised with in order to have the best marriage possible.

Have you buried your sexual desire? How do you know if you have? In our conservative Christian culture, we are often taught that sex is bad or unpleasant, that thinking about it is sinful, or that we should feel ashamed for having sexual desires. But this isn’t how it should be or even has to be! By developing your sexuality, you are going to receive a richness in your life that you have never experienced before. It’s like I always say, when the sex gets better, everything gets better.

Is your husband always initiating sex? In a recent study, that’s what they found, that often men are the ones initiating. But why aren’t you initiating sex? Today we are looking at the reasons why we as women don’t initiate sex, why we should, and how to do it. 

Consent is truly a buzzword right now. In this episode, we take a look at what consent truly means, in your sex life and beyond, and how we can be true to who we really are and say what we really want and need. As women, we are taught to put our desires aside for our husbands and children. Let’s really look at that and see if you can find your true desires that you’ve buried deep down.