Parenting Paused

As a mother I've often found myself imagining not so perfect outcomes about my child's future when I'm confronted with uncomfortable situations. My child refuses to do homework and BAM my brain immediately starts cranking out thoughts about myself as a parent and the horrible outcomes of a stubborn child who won't focus on their education. Pretty soon I've imagined them on the side of a dark alley, homeless, jobless and I'm accepting the reward for "Worst Mother". The thoughts swirl and pretty soon I've created an unimaginable series of events that have no actual basis. This then creates anxiety, self-doubt and so much more. This week we'll review what to do when you're imagination kicks into high gear and how to instead SLOW DOWN and offer kindness and responsibility. Listen, now.

Do you remember a time when your child came to you expressing disappointment? They didn’t make the team, someone made fun of them, or they got a D on their latest project? What came up for you? Did a “playlist” of strategies come up to make them feel OK? As the"music" played did you spring into action to banish those feelings for yourself and your child? On this week's Parenting Paused Podcast learn how to exchange your Go To "playlist" with one that offers a pause, a breath and a healthy strategy to support you and your child in dealing with disappointment. Episode 189: Dealing with Disappointment Check it out here!

It may seem like the goal in parenting is for your kids to behave perfectly 100% of the time. Instead of focusing on your kids behavior, have you considered what your part is in the dynamic? For example, you ask your teen to take the trash out and they say, "no" with an eye roll. Conventional parenting says: "kids should show respect by doing what they are told". What do you tell yourself about your parenting when your kiddo tells you "no" or you perceive them acting "disrespectfully"? Curious about a new perspective on how to relate to yourself and your child? Listen here!

If you google the most common words to describe teens, you'll find a list of words: Risk Takers, Rebellious, Immature What list of words do you use to describe how it feels to parent a teen? Powerless, Afraid, Worried. In Purejoy Parenting, you start right here... how are you feeling? Because often, how you perceive your teen begins with your emotions and conditioned beliefs. If feeling powerless you may compensate by using a "power-over parenting style instead of choosing to connect with your teen and their knowing. Are you willing to pause and recognize your innocent heart before you act? Of course, you want to protect your teen and yet are you open to attuning to your teen's innocent heart, too? In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover a courageous step to support your teen in knowing themselves!

Parenting a teen can feel

In Purejoy, our view is: Thoughts and feelings drive behavior.   When you perceive your child as acting out behaviorally, what happens to you emotionally? Do you immediately judge your child? Take a pause and look a little deeper... What are your thoughts? What do you tell yourself about how your parenting when your child acts out?   In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, explore your internal landscape when you are emotionally triggered. Discover how your thoughts and feelings, if unexamined, drive your behavior.   And of course... don't forget the secret sauce: Kindness!!!! Check it out here.

Discovering conscious parenting is a journey of self-awareness and compassion. It's not about being perfect all the time, but rather being conscious of what's going on inside of you and supporting your child in doing the same. Listen in to explore the possibilities of conscious parenting. Becoming more aware of your actions and reactions, supports creating a more loving and understanding home for yourself and your children. 

Parents are superheroes!   While you may not wear a mask and a silly costume like in comic books, you play an incredibly important role in your children’s lives and make significant sacrifices to ensure their well-being and happiness. You may go to great lengths to keep your children safe and secure. We do it all, but do we have to? Do you bolt to the rescue when your child is struggling with a problem, relationship or task? How do you see your child at that moment? Do you see a helpless child or a victim?  Are you willing to hand the cape over to them while still offering support, getting curious and letting them know they aren’t alone? It's a joy to teach them to be their own superhero. Find out how!  

I often found myself worrying about my child’s future and if the decisions I was making were the “right” ones. The “ifs” sometimes seemed to take over! If they are on screens too long, will they fry their brains?  If they eat too many sweets, will they get cavities? If they push against my boundaries, does that make me a bad parent? Sound familiar to you? Constantly focusing on the future and projecting beliefs into it can be exhausting. In this week’s Parenting Paused Podcast discover how to overcome the worry, since parenting doesn’t come with a crystal ball. Listen here.

Do you experience a sense of accomplishment when your child behaves in a way that aligns with the values you've instilled in them? And how do you feel if they don't share the same beliefs as you do? It's natural for parents to judge their child's actions as good or bad based on whether they align with their own values. However, it's important to consider where those beliefs and expectations come from. Do you hear an external voice when judging your child's actions? Take a moment to reflect on this. In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, learn about the benefits of curiosity for both you and your child, especially when it comes to values. Listen here: Do you Expect Your Child to Have Your Values?

Kindness is a BIG word right now! We often hear in the parenting world that kindness is being nice and if your child is being mean, our goal should be to change their behavior to something more agreeable. Do you see kindness as only “good”? Do you feel the need to change your child's behavior if you perceive it as mean? In this week’s podcast you’ll hear how kindness is not so black and white and how you can turn it into a beautiful tool for yourself and your family. Listen now! Kindness is not about Being Nice

Take a Purejoy Parenting conclusion quiz! Read these scenarios and discover where your mind takes you! Ready? Go! Your son has been playing video games for the past several hours and says he doesn't want to go for a walk. - What's your first thought? Your daughter stole her sister's clothing to wear to school. - What do you conclude about her? Your preK just pushed a kid down a slide at the playground. - What do you tell yourself about them? Explore what it is like to suspend your conclusions, stay with the sensation of discomfort a little longer, and learn about the practice of "Aware Listening". Listen now. Are your Conclusions True?  

Are you feeling "shoulded" on in your parenting? You should do this and your children should do that. Are you organizing your life to avoid the discomfort that comes along with all of the "shoulds"? What is it like to try something new? Are you ready to be the expert of you? Are you willing to welcome that discomfort as a friend rather than a foe? In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, explore what this counter instinctual work is able to offer you.    

Trust Your Biology In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, the topic is Parenting Biology... a much different topic than Parenting Psychology! Have you considered how much of your parenting wisdom comes almost thoughtlessly, through an innate system of biology? Or, are you more likely to trust a parenting "expert", book, or trusted friend or family? Is there resistance to seeking internal guidance? In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, the invitation is to open up to trusting the inner wisdom that is already present. You trust that your heart will beat and that your breath will come. You trust that the sun will rise in the East tomorrow morning. This week, consider trusting yourself and your inner wisdom as a parent!  

"Grown ups are boring!" I remember when my child said this to me. My first thought was, "Well of course we are. We have to be! We are parents and have chores and bills and jobs and meals and our own parents to take care of!" My second thought was, "Good point... Why do I have to be so serious?" Do you remember thinking adults were boring when you were a child? Do you have a tendency to bring heaviness to your parenting? Take a moment to consider the possibility of bringing child-like lightness to your day. Explore the root of seriousness in your parenting and discover ways to, Lighten Up!      

Imagine being at the beach, watching the waves at a distance as they rumble under the surface, rise to a peak, then fold on to the shore, sending fizzing bubbles over your toes. Are you able to stop that cycle in anyway? Now imagine watching the waves of emotions inside you as they rumble under your conscious surface, rising to a peak and then folding on to the shore... how do you feel when you sense that discomfort? Discover more, now!

Are you upset when your kids don't like you? Before listening to the podcast, take a moment, either right now or later in the day, to truly contemplate this question. How does your answer impact how you parent? How does your response alter how you relate to your own parents or other parents? In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover how to set your child, spouse or others FREE from your need to be loved. Check it out!  

Projection in Parenting! What does that even mean? Let's say your child hits someone at a playdate. Or your teen just arrived home late from a party. What happens to you right in that moment? When your mind starts to fill in a story between the gaps of what actually occurred you are projecting either the past or a future outcome on the moment. Imagine meeting each moment as if seeing for the first time. How would this change your relationships? Curious? Listen now!  

Are you a Parent Pleaser? You've probably heard about People Pleasing, saying "yes" when you really don't want to, etc. This strategy is used to protect yourself from feeling an emotion by ignoring your own personal boundaries. (Essentially, purchasing love). How does this work in Parent Pleasing? Well, do you act a certain way with your child to ensure you always feel kind and loving? Here's the same question from a different view: have you ever perceived your child as demanding or entitled? Could it be that this is a backlash from saying "yes" to your child when you really meant "no"?  Intrigued? Discover more by listening.  

When did you have your last emotional meltdown?