Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

How honest can you be with your spouse? Is your marriage vulnerable, safe, and robust enough to communicate honestly? Are you free from critique and condemnation, releasing you to talk transparently with your mate? How much have things changed since dating, when communication was not as cumbersome, constricted, or convoluted? Perhaps speaking freely in your marriage has become more challenging as the years go by, and if that is the case, I trust what I have to say will be the beginning of a new day. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-can-i-be-more-honest-with-my-spouse/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Maybe somebody has hurt you. Perhaps you can make as strong a case against that person who hurt you as I did against my mean father. According to my godless calculating, my dad was a worse sinner than me. At some level of my awareness, I knew I was sinful, but it was easy to compare tit for tat, and when I did that, I could hold on to my anger while playing the victim card. It’s a victim mindset that fuels ongoing, unabated anger. The truth is I am no different from my dad. There are no gradations of sinners when you stare at the Savior on a cross. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-463-sermon-how-not-to-harbor-hate-toward-someone/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

What makes Life Over Coffee different from other training organizations? Before moving on, will you “pause the tape” to answer my question? See how well you understand our purpose—what we are about, or if we need to improve how we communicate our purpose to you and the general public. Of all the acronyms (e.g., ABC, AACC, ACBC, CCEF, etc.), what makes us different from them? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/why-our-ministry-is-different-from-other-counseling-ministries/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

No book can help your unique husband to become a better husband like you can. Sure, there are a zillion books, and we have the Bible, too. But when it comes to a wife’s role in helping her husband mature in Christ, she is his most effective means of grace to transformation. A man’s wife has a unique position to help a unique man grow into a unique representation of Jesus Christ. Of course, these ideas apply to a husband, too. He should be cooperating with God while exegeting the Bible to bring customizable care to his wife, but for now, I want to talk about a wife’s privilege in the marriage. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-unique-wife-helping-a-unique-man-change-is-the-best/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Welcome to our Introduction to Biblical Counseling training, a ten-part series. The goal is to teach you the practical aspects of being a biblical counselor. I prefer the word discipleship, being a disciple-maker is a calling for all Christians. These two labels are interchangeable, though biblical counseling is a sub-discipline that fits into the grander purposes of discipleship. Our culture and most Christians are familiar with counseling, but it does not fully explain all the possibilities of New Testament discipleship. As you go through this training, I trust you will find encouragement and conviction to follow the Lord's advice and make disciples.  Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” The wisdom of Proverbs teaches how we will eat the fruit of our words, whether our words are good or bad. This truth can be particularly biting for the wife with a husband who does not fulfill God’s mandate to lead her well. Her temptation is to be critical. She needs God’s grace to help her live a submitted life that overcomes his deficiencies while not disparaging him with her words. It’s a tall order, but there is grace for this. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/power-critical-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

What is the consistent spiritual direction of your home? Who is leading the family in that direction? Who is following the leader of your home? There is only one correct answer to these questions: the Lord must lead the family, and everyone else should follow Him according to the Bible’s hierarchy. If the home is set up in any other order, there will be dysfunction. No exceptions. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-necessity-of-the-double-dependent-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Listening to someone to understand them does not mean we have to accept their views or follow their perspectives. We listen to people to learn from them to understand and help them. If we do not know them well, we cannot help them. How can we listen to people who believe differently from us but not allow them to convince us of their views or follow their ideology? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-43-listen-others-without-swayed/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Because of the clarity of God’s Word, the path to life change is not mysterious or elusive. If it were complex, we’d all be in a mess. Did you know that Paul gave his protege, Timothy, a practical plan for change that we can replicate in our lives, too? Though Paul’s process is not the final or plenary word for transformation, it’s one of the most excellent thumbnail sketches you’ll find in Scripture. It’s concise, understandable, and, best of all, attainable. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/four-sequential-steps-to-change-your-life/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

If you know someone who is not changing, do not despair. There is a way to help them. I'm not suggesting they will change even if you did everything perfectly, but there is a process for transformation that every Christian should know. I will break down those dynamics of change for you—the essential elements to lead someone into Christlike transformation. I hope the Lord will use these thoughts as you serve those you love so well. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/if-your-friend-is-not-changing-consider-this/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Is bringing a baby into our evil world right? Where is the line between God’s sovereignty and personal responsibility? We live in a broken world that is full of evil. Every future parent knows that when they bring a baby into the world, the child struggles with brokenness and fallenness while tempted and affected by our corrupted culture. Where is the balance? How are we to think about these things? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-42-bring-baby-evil-world/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Will you test yourself before you read this chapter? What are your thoughts toward those you would like to see change, especially those not responding the way you hoped they would? My aim is for you to consider the motives and methods you employ when motivating someone to change. If we do not have a proper motive, it will affect our methods, even tempting us to demand or manipulate someone to change while never considering how out of tune we are with God and the narrative He is writing for the unchanging person. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/forcing-others-to-change-will-blow-up-your-relationship-with-them/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Sometimes, when people hear the term biblical counseling, they think about a two-tier system within Christianity: those who can counsel and those who cannot. When I talk to some Christians about biblical counseling, they step back mentally while disqualifying themselves by saying, “I can’t do that.” For them, biblical counseling connotes a two-tier structure of competency or something for professionals. This problem, among a few other liabilities with the biblical counseling movement makes it wise to change our thinking about how we do soul care. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-better-way-to-do-counseling/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – How are we to think about parental discipline? Should we spank our children? What if we had a bad experience with our parents; how are we to respond to our children? What does the Bible say about correction, obedience, and the purposes of child discipline? This episode answers all those questions plus many more, giving you a solid foundation and direction on this vital topic. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-40-twelve-things-know-spanking-parental-discipline/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

In any discipleship situation, the discipler’s theology must inform their discipleship process. Theology and application act as guardrails to keep the counseling process moving in the right direction while avoiding the inevitable hazards that inferior theology and deficient applications cause. Maintaining this type of counseling equilibrium has several benefits, such as keeping the discipler from losing hope or even sinning while caring for others. The Bible provides us with an case study to make this point. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-problem-with-expecting-someone-to-change-1-0/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Every person who comes to you does not always fully invest themselves in being free from their problems. I’m not suggesting they are insincere. I’m speaking to the complexity of some issues and the accompanying heart entanglements that have become part of a person’s life for so long that the habituation’s strength is more powerful than the motivation to change. Just because they share their trouble with you does not mean they will put in the effort to change. The unchanging person is a common occurrence, and the reasons for it are worth our consideration. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-reasons-a-person-will-not-change-2/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – I sat down with Mark Grant to discuss his experience as he went through our Mastermind training program. Mark was our first student and graduate of our training. He later became one of our supervisors, teaching our students. Mark finished the coursework in fifteen months, which was the quickest anyone had completed the course. Most of our students finish within 24 and 36 months. I hope you benefit as he shares his training experience, what God did in him, and what life has been like since. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-32-mark-grants-experience-training-program/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Your friend comes to you with a secret sin. You are his accountability partner, and he asks you to keep his sin secret. How would you respond to him? Is it okay to pledge confidentiality or have an expectation of it? Does confidentiality have value in the context of confession? Are there instances where we should tell others about a transgression, even if the guilty party is against it? What biblical principles should guide us regarding secrets, secret keeping, sharing, and biblical communication? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/should-i-keep-my-friends-sin-secret/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Each local church has visitors, regular attendees, non-engaged members, and engaged members. In many of these churches, the visitors, attendees, and non-engaged members are more numerous than those doing the ministry's work. When this happens, the church's infrastructure—leaders—is weaker than those who expect care from the church. You'll also find that those who expect more care complain more. Thus, each church has to wrestle with how to identify and develop more engaged members by identifying the consumers and moving them into the smaller leadership infrastructure sphere. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-29-makes-equipping-different-effective/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Did you know it’s possible to know God but still have a hard heart? Though we have many means of grace, like prayer, the Bible, our local churches, and each other, Christians are not impervious to the infiltration of sin or its dastardly effects. It only takes a little evil to create havoc in our souls. Knowing and experiencing God does not prevent us from moving down the path to hard-heartedness, making it critical to understand how to diagnose the sequence that leads to a hard heart. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/diagnosing-the-four-steps-to-a-hard-heart/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.