Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

One of the more common complaints I hear from spouses is when one of the partners in the marriage talks about being alone in the marriage. These lonely spouses perceive a seemingly invisible barrier between each other. It's a communication barrier they cannot change because the deepest and most intimate component of marriage communication is uniquely spiritual. While couples can relate in many ways, there is one way that is non-negotiable if you intend to engage each other like Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:25-33). That spiritual component is an intimate three-person dynamic between the husband, wife, and God. I'm not necessarily talking about praying together, going to church, reading the Bible, or other churchy things—all vital aspects of a sound marriage. I'm speaking of in-depth and comprehensive spiritual communication. Read Here: Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time o

The sex talk begins in a child's toddler years as they learn about sexuality, intimacy, and relationships through the attitudes, words, and interactions of their parents. Sex is a shame-laced subject because of our mutual fallenness. One talk just before they head off to high school is not enough to help them think right about gender, identity, and sexuality. Even our worldly counterparts—though they give the appearance of no sex shame and have all the answers—are not free from sexual entanglements. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-sex-talk-begins-in-the-toddler-years/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

One of the most exciting and bittersweet times in a parent’s life is walking their child through the sex talk. It’s the season that leads them into adulthood. It’s the secret handshake that lets them know that the curtain of childhood is dropping and a brave new world is in front of them. It’s exciting because you are the one leading her. It’s bittersweet because your little kid is growing up. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/practical-and-effective-instructions-for-the-sex-talk-01/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The sex talk is a transitional time in a child’s life, but long before you have the talk, your child will have a worldview and practice in place that will form the backdrop for how he will process what you’re telling him during the sex talk. His home environment forms that worldview and develops his relational habits long before he learns about the most intimate aspects of male and female relationships. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/practical-advice-before-you-have-the-sex-talk-with-your-child/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Is there a terrific way to introduce the sex talk to your child? Every parent is faced with the challenge, though every parent does not think about sex the same way. Of course, there are a few parents who kick the sex talk can down the road, assuming they will learn eventually. I suspect if you brought the sex talk up to a group of adults, there would be a mixed bag of responses. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/terrific-way-for-introducing-the-sex-talk-to-your-child/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The wedding day is not the best time to learn how to be a spouse. Too many young couples begin this way. Without prior marriage training, they had to figure out how to get along with each other in the school of hard knocks. Some of them do not endure their marriage, which is why we chose to give our son three wives. If practice makes perfect, the assumption is that we could help him get close to what it means to be a biblical husband—should that day come. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/my-son-has-three-practice-wives-to-make-him-a-better-husband/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Statistically speaking, the chances of your son or daughter being married are greater than them spending their adult lives as singles. This likelihood is not inside information but public knowledge. Boys like girls and girls like boys, and most boys and girls will tie the knot in holy matrimony, even though there has been a multi-decade assault on marriage between a man and woman. How do you prepare your son to be an excellent future husband to a wonderful lady? When would you begin? My answers may surprise you. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/vital-teaching-for-your-son-today-so-hell-be-a-great-husband-later/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

It is impossible to engage our culture at any level and not hear their language, including curse words. Whether it is social media, a television show, or a stroll in the park, our culture’s words do not discriminate or care about our worldview. Because of the unending assault of their language upon us, the questions every caring parent must answer is who is going to teach their child the culture’s language, and when is the proper time to do it. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/wise-parents-teach-their-children-how-to-curse-2/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Though it would be simpler to place the lust problem in the lap of one gender, it would bring harm to God’s Word because lust is every person’s temptation. Perhaps a couple of synonyms for lust will level the playing field, holstering our tongues to where we’re less likely to go, “Ready! Fire! Aim,” and react more soberly as we consider the wisdom in the sequence of the log and speck (Matthew 7:3-5). I was thinking about these things when I received this letter from a friend. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/men-are-tempted-to-lust-women-are-tempted-to-be-lusted-after/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Every home is a laboratory where parents have the privilege of incrementally introducing their children to the culture around them. This incremental child development process prepares them to live in and engage in their world as adults while not being overcome by the culture. The proactive and intentional parent does not wait until the child is an adult to teach them how to live like an adult. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/incrementally-introducing-your-children-to-the-world/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Pornography is a pervasive sin in the sense that the outward behavior—viewing porn—speaks to a heart idolatry that is not as evident at first glance. Though there is wisdom in cutting off porn behavior (Matthew 5:29-30), the only way to be truly free is by rooting it out at its source, which implies identifying the idol that feeds the porn addiction. There will be many idols operative in a porn person’s heart. You may find the idol of comfort, respect, control, power, or reputation. Though this chapter will not deal with the rooting out of these idols, it’s vital for those caring for the caught individual to understand that there is more happening with the person in porn than what meets the eye. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-should-a-single-girl-know-about-guys-struggling-with-porn/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffe

Life Over Coffee · Modesty Wars: Hyper-grace Versus Legalism Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/hey-rick-what-does-your-wife-wear-to-the-beach/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The goal of parenting is to rear a child to adulthood as a man or woman living under God’s authority. The hope-filled goal is for your child to step out into God’s world that final time, as they exit your home, as a person under His authority. The transition from when they once submitted and obeyed you, now they desire to submit to and obey God as an adult operating as missional agents in His world. This process of training a child to that future aspiration happens in three stages. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/tips-on-parenting-a-child-from-zero-to-adulthood/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Too often, discussions about modesty digress into contentious sparring matches between Christians with differing perspectives on secondary issues. Usually, it’s the legalist and the liberal thinking believer, a sad commentary about our Christian maturity in light of the horrendous things that are happening all around us. We can be like kids arguing over the bigger piece of candy when these privileges sugar-fixes are less common in many parts of the world where having anything to eat is a daily struggle. In a culture like ours, where we’ve been spoiled for so long, the tendency is to devolve into less weighty matters speaks to how easily our hearts curve into themselves. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/modesty-wars-the-legalist-and-the-liberal/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Profound suffering came into my life. I hurt without mitigation. In time, the challenges were so bad that I didn’t care if God took my life. I was not going to kill myself, but if the Lord wanted to, I was not opposed to it. The difficulties and disappointments were beyond my ability to fix it. As Paul said in 2 Corinthians 1:8, I despaired of life itself, which was odd in light of what he said in Romans 8:28 about all things working together for good. I was perplexed; how could what I was going through work together for good? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-does-all-things-work-together-for-good-really-mean-2/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Small group life can be an amazing experience, or it could be the most frustrating part of your week. Knowing how to lead a group well while envisioning the members as active participants does not happen without a game plan that includes understanding, intentionality, and equipping. Here are eight essentials that every small leader needs to know to make the most of their small group experience. After you have read the essential and provided a brief explanation, will you answer the question for each essential? Perhaps sharing your conclusions and solutions with a friend would further instill these truths into your life and small group experience. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-93-eight-essentials-for-an-exceptional-small-group-experience/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Lust does not mysteriously appear in the heart of a teenager as though it came from nowhere. Teens are like the rest of us. Lust is part of their Adamic wiring, a sobering call for every parent to cooperate with God in shaping a child’s heart and life to a purer desire that is in Christ alone. This call is more than academic; the parent must model their message, giving their child a living illustration of God’s love to another person. Let me illustrate this point by sharing the fictional account of Biffina that shines a light on a real-world problem that is not fictional in too many of our young people’s lives. Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-can-i-get-guys-to-lust-after-me/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Most of the counseling that I do is marriage counseling because it is in the context of marriage, where two sinful people have to live within proximity to each other for an extended period. Most other relationships have an exit strategy. Kids can leave the home—eventually. Friends can unfriend each other on social media. Like good wood, church folks can split, too. However, in marriage, it’s death or divorce, making the degree of difficulty for leaving more complex. What if a couple had a biblical strategy, creating a restorative pathway to bring hope and help to their covenant while staving off the worst possible scenario? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/powerful-and-practical-questions-to-change-your-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Strangers marry each other, and whoever you marry, you marry all of them, including their mind. Though you trust God with your future marriage partner and hope for the best, you know there is an element of mystery about how things will go because you will never be 100% aware of who your marriage partner is. Though it sounds pessimistic, it is a recognition of your finitude and your responsibility to ensure that your dating relationship is a sober opportunity for clear-headed decision-making and courageous choices. For the girl, she must understand sexual temptation, specifically how it has affected her boyfriend. As my friend, Mable, was thinking about these things, she wrote me the following letter. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-need-advice-about-my-boyfriends-sexual-temptation/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/

Sex is a beautiful thing. A sinful sexual temptation is not, but giving into sexual temptation is worse. As fallen creatures, though redeemed by God, these temptations will always be part of our human experience. After the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, every person has struggled with distorted views of sex and sexual temptation. These problems are some of the universal assumptions you can make about anyone. We assume such things because of fallenness, but not out of condemnation. We have a mutual understanding of our human condition and need for transformative grace. In this chapter, I will be addressing every man’s battle with sex. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/why-men-struggle-with-sexual-temptation/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.