Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

During the six months, I worked with Mable, I began reorienting her life toward a God-centered way of thinking and living. The process was not easy, and there were a few setbacks. Perseverance was vital, as well as her humility. God does provide His empowering favor to the humble. Though Mable did struggle with rebuilding her theological foundation, identifying her faulty worship structure, and applying the gospel practically, she stayed the course, appropriated God’s grace, and experienced Divine favor. I asked her to process and implement the following assignments, projects, and initiatives. Some of these items she could start immediately, while others would take practice to create the necessary disciplines to mature in sanctification. Finally, I gave her a few thoughts as she cooperated with God to restore her husband, Biff. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-nine-homework-for-a-cold-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member

Shows Main Idea – This practical webinar about parenting our children will help any parent, empty nester, or soon-to-be parents learn how to release their children into the culture where they will eventually live. Parents want them to live less under our guidance and governance and more under God's direction and authority. Take notes and learn essential insights about parenting our children from zero to adulthood. Show Notes: Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

I have a friend who lived in open adultery for eighteen years. He was not a Christian and was not shy about his lifestyle. His wife, like Mable, knew most of his sins. My friend’s wife chose to honor God by staying in the marriage. She did not have to because she had biblical grounds for divorce, but she decided to stick it out, which the Bible does not prohibit. There is no doubt that God gave her supernatural grace to persevere through her husband’s many sins. He finally repented of his sins in June 1988, the day God regenerated him. Since then, he has faithfully loved and served his family in the context of a local church. The story of my friend is analogous to Biff and Mable’s story. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-eight-god-is-already-there/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

When a marriage grows cold, and only one spouse is willing to work on it, that spouse must juxtapose two Biblical responsibilities: being free in Christ while working on the marriage alone for the advancement of the gospel. Paul said in Philippians 1:12, reflecting upon his prison sentence, “I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has served to advance the gospel.” I wanted Mable to have a firm grip on the gospel, how it can free her in the prison of her marriage while releasing her to be a redemptive force in Biff’s life. Mable needed to know that she could walk in the Savior’s steps with supernatural joy, regardless of the future state of her marriage. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-seven-working-on-marriage-alone/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Rick interviewed Hollywood actor Kevin Sorbo, known for his roles in Hercules, Left Behind, and God's Not Dead. His latest movie is Miracle in East Texas. Kevin is a Christian and outspoken about what is happening in our culture. He talked to Rick about his passion for America and desire to make a difference in our culture through Christian moviemaking and advocacy for conservative changes. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-483-interview-with-kevin-sorbo-hollywood-actor/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

When a person does not trust God, there are three primary reasons. I call these our faith-killers. We cannot trust God if we are angry with Him. We cannot trust God if we are afraid of Him. We cannot trust God if we do not know Him well. Mable had a hard time trusting God, which positioned her to succumb to a self-reliant worldview and practice. If we’re not going to trust the Lord, we must trust ourselves, making us self-sufficient. I wanted Mable to see these things, so I dismantled each faith-killer during our next counseling sessions. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-six-our-common-faith-killers/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Once Mable understood the gospel, I began to walk her through how she should respond to Christ. The gospel is God’s most extravagant outpouring of His love to the world. There is nothing more profound that the Father could have done to prove His love to us than execute His Son on the cross. The gospel is God’s final and complete answer to the question, “Is God good?” He is good. He is profoundly good. Unfortunately, though Mable told me that God is good, there was an objective disconnect between what she knew to be accurate and how she lived that truth out in her life. She did not practicalize the gospel, speaking of God’s goodness specifically. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-five-the-self-sufficient-soul/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Judd T. Saul started Equipping the Persecuted Ministry in 2011 after God led him to Nigeria to see the devastation happening on the ground to our brothers and sisters in Africa. The mission is to protect, rebuild, and strengthen families in both body and spirit. Equipping the Persecuted can respond with resources necessary after an attack within 24 hours. They provide medical aid, food, and a prayer team to comfort victims. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-482-judd-t-saul-with-equipping-the-persecuted/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

A common rebuttal to the need theory concept is that we need love. I understand the perspective, but the truth is that we need a relationship with God; if we have that, and our relationship with Him is proper, our demands on other humans to meet our cravings for love should not control us. If we are practically realizing and resting in the gospel, we can turn the tables on all our relationships; rather than being deficient takers, we can be abundant givers. We can love others rather than expect others to meet our desires for love. We will be Christlike: the way to get is to give. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-four-start-with-the-gospel/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The most significant trap that tripped up Mable was that her desire for marriage and companionship had morphed into something God never intended. She had gotten caught up in the self-centered craving for perceived needs, as popularized by our culture. She saw the good God offered her through the lens of contemporary Christian literature rather than through the lens of Scripture. “Love Languages,” “Love and Respect,” “His Needs, Her Needs”: these are some of the books and buzzwords that are bandied about Christendom to find wholeness, resolve relational conflict, and live your best life now. While I understand why such materials exist, in marriage counseling specifically, these concepts are generally more of a hindrance than a help. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-three-the-snare-of-perceived-needs/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here http

Have you ever wondered how it is possible to believe the right things yet do the wrong things? It happens regularly—at least to me. I am in situations where I have the opportunity to do the right thing. Sometimes, I make the wrong choice in those moments—even when I know what the right decision should be. A wrong response creates a gap between what I know to do and what I actually do. My orthodoxy says one thing; my orthopraxy reveals another. If you are like me, there is a gap between what you know and what you do too. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-reason-what-you-believe-and-what-you-do-are-different/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Rick and Lucia Thomas answer a stack of questions from our Life Over Coffee community. They address marriage conflict, communication, anger, dating, introversion, parenting, functional atheism, confronting others, and much more. You’ll love their interaction and the practical application of the gospel in their lives as they share with you things they have learned as a couple imperfectly following God. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-481-rick-and-lucia-answering-your-questions/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

After a couple of sessions of getting to know Mable, I began to ask her specific questions regarding her fundamental understanding of theology and how that theology worked out practically in her life. I knew that if I could uncover what she believed about God and how she applied her understanding of God to her life, I would start to understand how she had gotten to this place in her life and marriage. The answer to every issue that she would ever encounter, including her current marriage problems, would, in the final analysis, flow out of her theology: specifically, how she thought about God and how she practically applied those thoughts to her life. My initial point-of-focus was Romans 8:28. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-two-mables-lonely-journey-begins/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

I met Mable at a conference, where she approached me with a soft-bound copy of my Help! My Marriage Has Grown Cold booklet in her hand. She said that God had transformed her life and marriage through this little booklet. She asked me to sign it, which I gratefully obliged. The storyline is about a lady who decided to work on her marriage despite her husband's unwillingness. I hope many more couples find the same hope and help as Mable did as they read and apply what I have written. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-one-the-desperate-housewife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Marriage is a long-term, forever relationship with no escape clause. I realize there are biblical reasons for divorce, but it’s not how things should be. Typically, when there is a divorce, it’s because the couple has done something to kill their marriage. A gentleman wrote me a few years ago in tears. He saw my graphic about ten ways to kill your marriage and said he did all ten. Here are those ten things, and I wrap up with ten ways to bless your marriage. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-480-ten-ways-to-kill-your-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

A happy home does not just happen. Like all good things, you must have a plan and be willing to execute hard work (Luke 14:27). The good news is that Christians have the schematic for happiness, which begins with confession and forgiveness. The crucial concern centers on whether we’ll do the hard work of confessing our transgressions and forgiving each other. The couple that understands this path to reconciliation and practices it will not stop until they become the beneficiaries of a happy home. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-non-negotiable-first-step-to-build-a-happy-home/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Into the Light is a teaching documentary on freedom from pornography that walks through the change process from bondage in sin to freedom in Christ. Jacob Valk and John-Michael Bout are the creators. Rick Thomas sat down with Jacob to talk about why he and John-Michael created this teaching documentary, Jacob’s life in Canada, his migration to Southern Seminary, and future aspirations as they serve the body of Christ with more world-class instructional videos that address sexual confusion and the Bible’s solutions for this global problem that dominates so much of our lives. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-479-jacob-valk-into-the-light-documentary/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

We will never forget the tragedy of 9/11. Most of us old enough to remember such things know exactly where we were on that tragic day. I was sitting in my counseling office at our local church, staring blankly at a TV screen as the news unfolded. The best word to describe my mental state was surreal, and it continues to boggle my mind to think how anyone could be so twisted that they would fly a plane into a building and kill 3,000 innocent lives. But then I think of myself in my evil moments of misplaced faith. It’s scary. Though none of us will do what those terrorists did, we can go down a regrettable path of misplaced faith and hard heart, believing what we’re doing is the right thing, begging the question: How can a heart become so hardened that we think what we’re doing is okay, even though it’s evident to everyone else we’re wrong? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/911-a-study-in-misplaced-faith-and-a-hardened-conscience/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can b

Biff asked, “As a believer, does God’s Word require me to forgive a relative of mine time after time—essentially let her off the hook—for her unkind behavior and attitude toward me and the many cruel and untrue things she has done behind my back to other family members? She never asks for forgiveness and only tells me I need to understand her feelings. Am I wrong to stay my distance and set some boundaries?” What would you say to Biff? Have you ever had a situation like this? How did you handle it? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/am-i-to-forgive-someone-who-is-not-asking-3/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Whenever there is a sin event between two people, there will always be a need to ask for and grant forgiveness. If they do not transact forgiveness, their relationship will not be all God intends. This episode is the second of a two-part series where Rick Thomas drills deep into the elements of forgiveness. Please listen to or watch Episodes 477 and 478 to understand forgiveness fully. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-478-what-to-do-after-two-people-forgive-each-other/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.