Desks & Dayjobs

Greetings, dear listener! Our heroes are so close to the end of Friday that they can almost taste it! Which is a good thing, because they’re definitely not tasting lunch after being kicked out of Blue Star Hotdogs. Can our heroes find food back the warehouse to sustain their afternoon of work, the final day of their first week? Get ready for action (finding and shipping packages) and adventure (talking to coworkers) as our heroes wrap up their work week. Who will be crowned Team of the Week? Will Tina freak out when she finds out her key is missing? And what awaits Quinn in Mr. Lowe’s office, and will they see him alone or tell the others about their plan to pay the sinister manager a visit? Find out in this exciting episode brought to you by Bits and Big Tobacco! In this episode Matt achieves package perfection Dimetra agrees on ham June becomes Blade And Quinn rolls to persuade…

Hark, dear listeners! Our heroes have escaped the office of Mr. Lowe and are ready to finally start their Friday. Will their encounter with their intense boss sour the mood of the day? Or did the crazy-eyed, but charismatic, Mr. Lowe make a strong connection with one of the Green Team members? Find out in this thrilling installment in our tale, filled with twists, turns, statues, garnishes, and consequences of lunches past… In this episode Matt wants to know “why he frownin?’” Dimetra describes a hot dog June is lucid and dating And Quinn tips 100%+

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes have quenched their thirst on Thirsty Thursday, and are ready for Friday (after spending some time icing their ankles and talking to dear ol’ Mom and Dad). But Friday has a sinister surprise for the Green Team in the form of an invitation to meet with the mysterious boss of NPC Inc. Shipping: Mr. Lowe. What evil lurks in the upstairs office, guarding the executive bathroom and waiting for unsuspecting employees to wander down the dreary hall to his malicious office chambers? Find out in this thrilling tale and learn a little about yourself by taking the Orwing-Gregsteen Test! In this episode June bumps a frame Quinn balances some cookies Dimetra is promised pizza with steak and shrimp And Matt gets Jellicle

Greetings, listeners! Dimetra is in peril! Lured into the dimly lit dance floor at The Lair, she’s been pulled into a dreary dance to the music of goth-y synths. Can the rest of the Green Team find her amongst the swaying bodies and twinkling lights, or will they too be pulled into the dance? And what happens when the music stops and the lively crowd wants a quick drink before the next band, the (locally) legendary four-piece GemDragon? Find out in this thrilling episode that’ll have you asking “who is Jim Dragon?” In this episode Quinn tries the empathy punch Matt has learned nothing, and has nothing to contribute Dimetra is good at dancing now And June tries the stankle ankle

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes have wrapped a hectic day and are ready to quench their thirst for fun by joining the rest of the shippers for Thirsty Thursday, a weekly outing for drinks organized by Megan the Huntress. Can our heroes keep up with their NPC coworkers and their powerful punches? Or will a pint glass of booze spell disaster for the smallest bladders in the party? Enjoy this exciting night out adventure or be banished to the Far Realm! In this episode Dimetra is the leaky teifling Matt just wants to order a “beer” Quinn adds to the birdble And June learns that books are fun

Greetings listeners! Lines have been crossed on the shipping floor and the secret council has chosen retribution to reset the sensitive balance of the work ecosystem. So it falls to Dimetra and the Green Team to come up with a prank that’ll teach Tina Tondren a lesson! Will they be able to pull off a prank that will impress the rest of the shipping department while balancing their daily tasks? And what will the prank be? The classic Lemon Cake? The Ol’ Two Key Mix-up? Lighting her on fire? Find out in this exciting episode! In this episode Quinn eats a bird’s lunch June’s ankle is hanging on by a thread Dimetra teaches us the lemon cake prank And Matt gets his kids out of the zoo

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes have finished their Wednesday work and head forth for a little down time before Thursday’s adventures. But life isn’t all craft drawers and dancing babies for the Green Team, sometimes you oversleep and injure your ankle and fall down! Both metaphorically and literally! And to make matters worse, as our heroes face a rough start to the day, a new threat to the peace of the shipping room rears its from the front desk! In this episode Dimetra T poses into the office June loses her car, ankle, dog and wife Quinn is energized by their crafts And Matt gives us more Baby Angel Meat lore

It’s Wednesday afternoon, dear listeners, and our heroes are looking for some “W”s to make up for their previous day of “L”s. With their stomachs full-ish and their smoking needs satiated-ish, our heroes set out on adventure, and by that we mean an afternoon of hard work in the warehouse! Will their efforts pan out better this afternoon? Or will some poor rolls cause them to drift into the work area of a strange, off-tune new threat that even the Shelvers fear? Grab a tape gun and step up to the starting line of an exciting episode where we talk about nuts a lot! In this episode Dimetra confronts the chaos dragon Matt enjoys baby Brandon’s lunch June gives a spider a cookie And Quinn rolls a nut check

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes have survived their first day on their own and are ready for more shipping and receiving on what seems to be a pretty standard Wednesday. But Wednesdays can be deceiving! Will our heroes make it through the morning with their high spirits intact, or have their efforts (and mishaps) been noticed by the other shipping teams who might want to help or hinder? We recommend that you Google worms and cookies before listening to this episode, you’re going to need to know what both look like in order to understand some of the jokes. In this episode Dimetra takes the stage…sort of June hits some dingers Matt smells delicious cigar pie Quinn coins the term “mansplaining” And Bill contains multitudes

Tuesday continues, dear listeners, as our weary workers take a much-needed lunch break. But there’s something lurking in the break room, and its foul sandwich threatens to undo the peaceful respite for the bagged-lunchers of NPC Inc. Can our heroes dispel the foul smell? Or will they lose more than their lunch to this new, eerie, protein-gorging coworker? Find out in this exciting episode filled with bad smells, worse rolls, and cookie consequences! In this episode Dimetra eats the salad of sadness Matt dreams of a topless lunch June quests against undead smells and Quinn may or may not have a bathroom in their apartment

Greetings, Dear Listeners! A new day is about to dawn for the heroes of NPC Inc, but first they decide to have a drink at a friendly dive and figure out what their goals are as coworkers and people. Sounds pretty sweet, right? Like they might all be growing as friends and people? Sure would be a shame if the next day turned a little sour on them and they struggled with their workload and had to deal with hostile coworkers, right? Surely that won’t happen. Unless it does? Ah geez, I’m terrible at keeping secrets, it definitely does! Tune in to see how this Terrible Tuesday begins! In this Episode Matt mulls beer crafted beer Quinn is fueled by sugar June names her own coach Dimetra gets a spicy keychain And Quinn and Matt synchronize bathroom breaks

Welcome back to Spooky Chicago and Happy Almost Halloween, dear listeners! When we left off, the Hoffman Planetarium workers were in a pickle! After being imprisoned in the library by the menacing Col. Verok, our investigators took some time to research the mysterious stone disc, steel their courage, and concoct a plan to escape the sinister soldiers. Will they be able to exit out of this eerie experience, or will circumstance (and annoying ghost brothers) push them back into the danger? Find out in this thrilling conclusion full of murder, mayhem, and marching band music! In this episode Flynn competes for floppiest boy May Jones gets to say the line Daphne summons her scotch and vodka strength and Mordecai plays some Smash Bros

Muah-ha-ha, listeners! It’s time once again for us to put away our D&D stuff, turn down the lights, put on a spooky sound effects CD, and play some Call of Cthulhu! In this thrilling tale of terror set in 1940’s Spooky Chicago, four employees of a local landmark find themselves cornered by a group of mysterious soldiers with unfamiliar insignias on their uniforms and malicious intent for the hapless helpers. Will they be able to escape the clutches of Col. Verok and his men, or will the square-jawed jarhead take more from them than just an artifact from the museum’s collection? Find out in this exciting part one, filled with ghosts, guns, liquor and Home Alone style traps! In this episode Flynn just wants to get coffee May sips some Ol’ Man Meat Whiskey Daphne is bamboozled by handsomeness And Mordecai is the self-proclaimed fan favorite

The work day is over, dear listeners, so it’s time for our heroes to cut a little loose before heading home after a successful first day at NPC Inc.’s warehouse. Deciding between several options, our heroes make their way to The Lair, a bar where some of their friendlierish coworkers hang out and rowdy rock bands play. Will our party find solace and relaxation in this watering hole? Or do dangers lure beneath the surface of this chill hangout spot? Find out in this exciting episode that also features nuanced discussions of the critical reception of Time Dogs, gun safety in the workplace, and Mario movie hacks. It’s time time somewhere! In this episode: Dimetra rolls Wario-style June makes a stilt check Quinn was secretly Canadian the whole time Matt Meat meets Steel And we discuss the right way to watch the Mario movie

Oh no, dear listeners! Our heroes have a difficult task to complete before the end of the day and find themselves at a disadvantage as they prepare to delve deep into the warehouse. Will our heroes be able to convince the prickly, seemingly self-appointed office manager to allow them into the supply closet, or will they toss caution to the wind and rush into the darkness with only their wits and some gifts to protect them from Marta and her shelvers? Oh, listener, I feel like we both know it’s going to be the later… Tune into this exciting episode to hear a tale of the cost of working hard vs. hardly working, and maybe get a glimpse at the light at the end of the warehouse and some familiar (future) faces! In this episode: Matt rolls with rubberbantage Dimetra is taken out by the NPC snipers Quinn asks some threatening cookie questions June offers some piggy-back rides And Bill reveals he’s a pot roast Gundam

Greetings, listeners! Our heroes are caught in the caution tape webs of the mysterious Shelvers, who demand a tribute before they let them go. Can our heroes appease the eerie employees who’ve spent too much time in the dark? And what’s the deal with Queen Marta, the seemingly self-imposed leader of this area of the warehouse, and will they be able to earn her favor? Find out in this exciting, bit-filled episode that’ll have you on the edge of your seat, wondering hold much blood could fit in a cowboy hat. In this episode June does some boxkata Matt reveals his greatest fear Quinn asks about allergies Dimetra makes her plan to collect the six Business Stones And we learn valuable lessons about labels and blood

Greetings, listeners! Our heroes are back from lunch and ready to start their first assignment, which takes them deep into the warehouse for the first time. Can our heroes fulfill their five orders and prove their worth to NPC Inc? Or will they discover that trouble lurks within the dark, confusing labyrinth of shelves and boxes? Also, who are the mysterious “Shelvers,” and why did none of the managers warn them of the ongoing conflict between Shipping & Receiving? Get ready for a whole lot of box-based action, listeners! In this episode Dimetra regrets calling for a group check June rolls our first ever “0” Matt askes questions first and names never And Quinn blesses the cube catchers

Greetings listeners! The heroes of NPC Inc. are finished with training and ready for their ultimate reward: a lunch break! Setting out across Fantasy Chicago’s scenic industrial area, the new co-worker’s find Blue Star Hot Dogs, a local joint where the decor is out-dated and the employees seem eerily optimistic. Can our heroes get some lunch and take some time to rest (and level up!) or will the placid smiles and stern management of the humble hot dog stand pull them into a deeper mystery (or just the bathroom)? In this episode June wonders WWJHD? Matt is familiar with little shits, big pisses Dimetra deals some “mamma mia!” damage Quinn suffers from cantrip envy And the party spends a lot of time on Terry

The new NPC Inc. employees are ready to continue with their training, Listeners! After acing their shipping test, it’s time for them to grab a drink and a chair for their all-important warehouse safety training with Bill Bonetusk. Can our heroes make it through the deadly serious warehouse manager’s training without dozing off or insulting his passion for safety? And once the training is over, can they pass the final test in time for lunch? Find out in this exciting part two! In this episode Dimetra introduces “Sparro,” the Fighter’s mall pizza June goes behind the screen Matt rolls for band lore And Quinn confesses to some dice crime

Greetings, Listeners, and welcome to Campaign 2 of NPC Incorporated. Let us tell you a story about more heroes of the mundane realm. A new day dawns in Fantasy Chicago as four new heroes set off for the first day of their new careers at NPC Inc. These heroes - a mighty baseball fan, an ambitious middle child, a small town friend, and a cool kid adjusting to fatherhood - arrive at the NPC Inc. shipping facility to begin their training and meet each other for the first time. Can our heroes at least make it to lunch? Or will boring paperwork, an overload of information, and a looming safety test cut their careers short? And who is watching them from the offices above, and what is his deal?? In this episode Dimetra has “resting hustle face” June has a lovely laugh Matt tries to turn this show into a smoking sim And Quinn needs to prove they’re not a cop and say “fuck”