Let's Parent On Purpose

This is not the podcast you were expecting.  Rather than talk about bedtime routines or homework strategies, I’m joined by Patrick Farley, who placed in the top 5 in the Florida State Teacher of the Year awards for 2018.  We talk strategies for helping you establish solid communication and rapport with your child’s teacher.  Listen and share with others to learn how to communicate concerns, resolve conflicts, and get the best out of your parent-teacher-student relationship. Patrick Farley is not only an exceptional teacher, he’s a mentor in our student ministry, sports coach, expecting father, and host of the new Youtube channel Mr. Farley.  Check it out!

There’s one thing that can rob you of your joy no matter what’s going on in your life.  You can live in a house on the beach with a million dollars in the bank, yet be absolutely miserable.  This Joy Killer is a cancer to the soul and a destroyer of relationships.  Listen to today’s podcast to find out what it is and what you can do about it.

I know, this sounds like the most manipulative, self-help title I can imagine.  But the principles are totally Biblical.  Going a little further in my reading of Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, I was shocked to realize that Carnegie’s strategy for getting people to like you is simply a practical working out of God’s command to us in Philippians 2:3-4 Philippians 2:3–4 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (ESV) What does this look like in your relationships?  Listen to the podcast as I explain the importance of: Becoming genuinely interested in other people. Smile Too simple, right?  But I promise you, if you listen (or get the book and read) and genuinely try to apply these principles to your relationships, not only will you get people to like you, but they will like you because you are a genuine blessing in their l

I recently found a copy of Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People in the bargain rack at my local bookstore.  Honestly I had very low expectations.  And I was very wrong.  The book is largely an exposition of the Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” As I’ve worked through the chapters I realize that the principles given in this book, if applied, would absolutely change the tone of relationships in our homes.  It’s not about manipulation, it’s about considering the other person and looking for the best in them. Today I share three principles that can help lower defensiveness and increase the willingness of each member of your household to do their best for one another.  Listen, share it with others, and by all means, pick up a copy of this classic book! Just remember, any fool can criticize and complain, and most do.  But it takes character to hold your tongue and seek the best for those in your house.  Let the change in your home start with you!

Your church family can inspire your household towards deeper faith in Christ and years of meaningful service.  It can also sow doubts about Jesus, hurt your marriage, and stir seeds that lead your children to abandon the faith. On today’s podcast I talk about choosing a healthy church for your family. If you’re already happily nestled in the church of your dreams, I want to encourage you to listen because this is still going to be really important for you to hear. But if you find yourself between churches, or you’re involved in a church and you’re wavering on whether you should stick or split, these few minutes are vital for you to hear and potentially share with others in the same spot. Listen as I explain my reasoning on how much you can determine on just about any given Sunday in a church gathering: – Do they worship Jesus as Lord? – Do they hold up the Bible as God’s Word and our guide? – Do they demonstrate their love for people by the way they treat the ones in front of them? Additionally I address a co

Have you ever been driving along and experienced an accident, or even a near-miss accident?  Things happen so fast, your body essentially takes over before your mind knows what’s going on. Do you remember how you felt in the moments after you got through the event?  As your brain begins to comprehend what happened, your adrenaline is still pumping, and suddenly your emotions catch up with the reality of what could have happened.  The event might only last for seconds, but the emotional recovery can take several minutes, hours, or days. The time after a major personal or family crisis can often be like a very drawn out version of one of these accidents or near misses.  You think you should be able to just jump back into life, but instead find yourself flooded with emotion and fatigue.  You have a quick burst of energy but then feel like a zombie. Just as self-care in the midst of crisis is important, self care after a crisis is crucial to rebuild all that is broken in the midst of trial and tragedy.  Listen t

We all go through significant times of crisis in our lives. For some it’s in response to a major event, for others it can be a drawn out season of chronic challenges. On today’s podcast I want to share some perspectives on self-care while going through crisis.  As a parent or a spouse, you might find yourself dealing with the fallout of traumatic events in your loved one’s life.  Some of these things might be short seasons or events, the others might be chronic.  But in either case, as you find yourself having to go above and beyond what might be your “normal” load and capacity, I want to encourage you to give attention to your own health and well being.  Today we are going to focus on self care during the crisis, and next week I’ll give insights on what we might call “the rebuilding process” after the heat of the crisis cools. As  you listen to the podcast today, you’ll learn the importance of: Lowering your expectations Sleep Food as fuel Recognize Junk Food and Junk Time Moments of alone time Non-legalist

I received a question about dating recently in an “Ask Anything” session with my teenagers at church.  In this podcast, I review the set of questions I gave the group to ask themselves before getting into a relationship (which, by the way, should not be until late in their teenage years at the earliest). Whether you’re a teen or an adult, if you’re considering entering a dating relationship, you should be able to give thoughtful answers to these questions.  For an in depth analysis of each question, listen to the podcast, where I’m joined by my favorite guest ever, my teenage daughter Brooklyn Holland! What is your purpose in dating? Is it boredom Is it to validate your worth Is it status Are you ready to progress towards a permanent relationship with a potential spouse? Minimum set of questions you should know about them before starting a relationship Are they honest? How do they treat people from whom they have nothing to gain? How do they treat their parents? What do their friends really think of the

In a recent “ask anything” segment with my teenagers, I was asked “how do I removed myself from toxic relationships without being the bad guy?” This excellent question assumes that we know a toxic relationship when we see one.  Unfortunately, that’s not always true. We discovered principles from six verses in Proverbs 20 that gave us clues on the types of people to avoid: The Manipulator Unequal weights and unequal measures are both alike an abomination to the Lord. Proverbs 20:10 The manipulator inflates and twists words, situations, and emotions to their own advantage.  Blowing some things out of proportion while minimizing other serious issues, the manipulator applies unequal weights and measure to get what the want out of people. The Addict Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise Proverbs 20:1 To an addict, people stop becoming people and start becoming means to an end. Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, pornography, or social media addiction, an addict will deh

Occupational therapist Diane Corson from the Florida Elks Children’s Therapy Services provides very practical strategies to help children with Sensory Processing Disorder cope at home and in public.  Although these tools are specifically designed to help SPD children, many of them can be employed with great benefit to your other children as well!

Diane Corson, an Occupational Therapist with the Florida Elks Children’s Therapy Services, joins me for two fascinating podcast as we look into the world of children with sensory processing disorder. As promised, here are Diane’s notes from our talks. Be sure to check out LPOP 71 and LPOP 72 for our two part discussion. Even if you don’t have children with sensory processing disorder, 1) you know someone who does (I do!) and 2) some of these same strategies will be a blessing in any home!  The first half of these notes are definitions and descriptions of the various terms associated with Sensory Processing Disorder  The second half outline strategies for helping children with SPD as discussed in the two podcasts.  Thank you Diane for being an amazing therapist and a great teacher! What is Sensory Processing Disorder? Sensory Processing Disorder is difficulty organizing sensory information in the brain to make an adaptive response.  Sensory and motor pathways are being formed in the brain, beginning in utero

Home runs are few and far between in parenting. But MASSIVE change can take place if you just keep making contact. This week’s podcast gives you tips on how to make best use of the natural times of contact in your home: Morning routine, drive times, meal times, and bedtime.

People vastly overestimate what they can do in the short-term, but vastly underestimate what can be accomplished over the long-term. This week’s podcast gives tips and ideas on how to set small goals with your kids this summer that can redeem some of that free time and start them on long-term pathways to accomplish big things. Set SMART Goals! Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Timely Here’s a link that goes into smart goals in detail.

I’m revisiting my very first Let’s Parent on Purpose topic ever, and I need to remember this perspective just as much today. 12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. Hebrews 12:1-4 ESV I love the reminder that we need endurance for this race.  And I love remembering that the “witnesses”, the great Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11, were largely a bunch of dysfunctional parents who could barely keep their children from killing on another.  I mean, at

Your systems are perfectly suited to give you the life that you now have.  Your children’s routines are perfectly suited to give you the current level of chaos or order that you’re currently experiencing.  All of us have routines with our children.  Some of those routines weren’t designed, they just happened.  And most of the ones that just happen put the extra burden on mom and dad.  On this week’s Let’s Parent on Purpose Podcast I talk with my good friend Sheila Hoadley, who is one of the most organized people I know.  Sheila shares some of her challenges and victories in helping her three boys develop habits and systems that have made her home life much easier.

What happens when we tell our children that Jesus will fix all of their problems?  How do we damage their faith by not preparing them for adversity?  This week we talk about the danger of presenting the gospel as a tool for life enhancement rather than salvation from our sin.  

We want God to transform all of the frustrating things in our family and lives in an instant. But Scripture shows that God is in the habit of driving out enemies from the Promised Land little by little.

A parent recently asked me to address the topic of contentment with children.  That’s the source of this week’s podcast.  Listen to hear my thoughts.  I’ll give you a hint: it’s not going to come by giving them everything they want!  Listen and share with any of your friends who might be struggling with the same issue.  I talk about how we can Create perspective Take responsibility for others Live more by having less The good news for moms and dads – the steps to encourage contentment in our children’s lives are the very same steps for being happy in our own lives!

Some kids are miraculous makers of mountains out of molehills.  It can be incredibly frustrating as a parent.  In my podcast this week I share how to create some emotional resiliency using a tool called a Drama-meter. I learned about the Drama Meter from a book I highly recommend by Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan called Are My Kids on Track.  You should definitely pick up a copy. Listen to the podcast and let me know how the Drama Meter works for your family! And if you like the concept, you’ll love the rest of Are My Kids On Track as well!  

29 Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29 ESV  As a dad who has never seen, but still believes, here’s how I feel blessed and hopeful as a parent: Easter is the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus.  The resurrection is the validation of everything Jesus said and did: It means that His teachings aren’t just sound advice, they are commands with a supernatural power behind them. It means that wen Jesus says I can call God my Father, it’s true.  He’s not just some distant authority figure, He’s my Daddy. It means I’m truly forgiven of my sins.  I don’t have to live a life of penance making up for past mistakes (including parenting mistakes).  I can focus on walking in grace and humility, trying to do what’s right today instead of wallowing in the guilt of my failures from yesterday. I’ve trusted Jesus to save my soul, and I’m trusting Him to give me the grace for what He’s commanded me to do as a parent. 2.