We Gotta Thing

As newbies we started our lifestyle journey looking for people to connect with and then explore sexually. Back then it was all about the excitment, the taboo nature of the lifestyle and a boost to our sex lives. Something we would just keep at arms distance on the very periphery of our lives. Then we started to meet some of the most amazing humans on the planet. Now we are surrounded by a warm and caring community and some of the best (pants-off and pants-on) lifelong friends a couple can possibly have. We came for the sexy fun and we stayed for the awesome friendships!

Chris and Nancy share their amazing and unique story of finding the lifestyle through a period of intense emotional exploration after being together for more than 20 years. We've learned that no relationship journey into the lifestyle is the same but we so all experience our own twists and turns. We hope you enjoy listening to them tell their story!

Many couples ask about how to 'successfully' navigate a clothing optional resort. How do we find couples like us? How do we socialize with others without them thinking it's an invitation to play? How do we let couples down if we don't want to play? How do we interact with couples the day after we play? Listen in as we discuss our own experiences and how we see others managing this very common dilemma. 

In advance of our group trip to Temptation Grand Miches in the Dominican Republic we visited the resort to experience it ourselves. Through construction delays, supply chain disruptions, hurricanes and normal growing pains the resort is now open for business! Listen in as we describe what we enjoyed and what we think still needs to be improved upon to bring it up to par with the Desire Pearl and Riviera Maya resorts in Mexico.

We hear story after story about the difficulties many (and mostly newer) couples in the lifestyle experience when encountering 'cliques' while attending events, visiting clubs or attending parties or meet and greets. Are they really cliques or could it be our perception of others based on things we observe or the feelings we experience at such events? Will they really reject us or ignore us if we have the courage to approach them or could this a predisposed fear of rejection? Join us as we dig deeper into what cliques really are and how to manage and navigate groups in an unfamiliar and sexually charged environment.

Listen in on our conversation with our friends "J&B 2.0" as they share their particular story of how they discovered and began exploring the lifestyle together! They are funny, smart and very real as they share their experiences in hopes of helping others who may be embarking on a similar journey. Origin Stories is an interview based podcast format that we will occasionally publish to help you experience the diverse and unique lifestyle journeys of others.

Finding lifestely events and then choosing which event is the best fit for your approach to the lifestyle can be difficult and often confusing. Listen in as we chat with event host Cate from Libertine Events and the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. We'll share insights and answer questions from couples exploring the lifestyle and facing the same challenges.

Listen in as our event guests discuss working through their individual fears, anxieties and challenges at a clothing optional resort during our week together at Desire Pearl Resort just south of Cancun, Mexico.

We sit down with four of our lifestyle friends and share real stories about what it's like to experience hurt feelings during an event and how to dissect, debrief, discover and confront the root cause of the issue. As much as it hurts sometimes, we discuss why we think it's important to work through the issues together in order to experience personal growth and strengthen our relationships.

We discuss four distinct behaviors we consider to be deal breakers to moving forward and possibly making new lifestyle friends and connecting with potential play partners. Sharing opinions on politics, religion or other emotionally charged topics Being closed minded or  judgmental toward others Being 'tone deaf,' or not being able to read the room Trying too hard to make something happen What do you think? What behaviors do you consider to be deal breakers?

Finding your tribe, making lifelong friends, connecting for sexy playtime and growing your primary relationship are just a few ways to define 'success' in the lifestyle. Many may mistakenly believe you can just fill out a profile and 'show up' to quickly enjoy these benefits. We have learned that just like in life, you must both put in the hard work over a period of time to experience all the lifestyle has to offer. Are you ready to put in the hard work? We believe the reward is worth the effort!

New Relationship Energy (NRE) is that sexual buzz we feel when we first meet and connect with a couple or individual. We discuss navigating this heightened state of emotional and sexual feelings by processing it, understanding it, keeping it in perspective and responding to it in a healthy  way. NRE can feel scary and risky but we believe if it's understood and managed well it can provide a super charged experience and be very meaningful (and a whole lot of fun) for all involved.

As the idea and exploration of consensual non-monogamy continues to grow we have noticed the need for organized community. The different flavors and diverse approaches means that one size does not fit all needs.  We invited our friends Fin and Emma from the Normalizing Non-monogamy podcast to chat with us about their community and how the four of us see how communites are forming and how to find the one that fits you best. Here are a few communities to explore: Normalizaing Non-monogamy community We Gotta Thing community Multi-amory community Bloom community platform Bonobo network 

To quote Mrs Jones, "we should be an example and not a blueprint." It may seem natural to adapt our 'thing' into your lifestyle journey but that could be a mistake. Giving yourselves an opportunity to create and refine your own 'thing' while learning from the examples of others in the lifestyle can be liberating and exciting.

Catherine (one of our favorite humans) and her team from Expansive Connection join us to discuss how they have created a unique method of coaching non-monogamous people! Not only do they offer a 'judgment free' zone but they bring their certified credentials and experience in the lifestyle.  Learn more about what an experience will be like with Catherine and Expansive Connection below. Expansive Connection Expansive Connection in the We Gotta Thing Community NNM Enneagram Episode 1 NNM Enneagram Episode 2 NNM Enneagram Episode 3 NNM with Catherine

We often hear couples suggest they are taking a break from the lifestyle due to 'real life' issues. We also hear some say that 'real life' is getting in the way of their lifestyle activities.  In this episode we share some very personal news and explain why we believe the lifestyle IS real life and the two can successfully co-exist.

Have you experienced lifestyle play partners getting a little upset when you choose to spend time with others? How about hard feelings when one of you seems to be enjoying the lifestyle more than the other? Some use the term 'jealous' when these things happen but we'd like to dive a little deeper and talk about why we use the the word envy as opposed to jealousy.

This is the most important topic that nobody wants to talk about! Chances are this won't happen to you (as it did us) but we still want to help prepare you just in case... We reflect back on our experience of being outed and discuss what we've learned (and are still learning) during the process. Yes, it's painful but it's not the end of the world!

Listen in as our guests share their Desire Pearl 2021 snapshots in a recorded-live conversation from the resort! Some are thoughtful and meaningful, some are sexy and others are downright hilarious! Oh, and we share ours as well... Our new 'What's Your Thing?' sexy and smart card game is now available! Here is our updated Naughty Stockings list just in time for the holiday shopping season (or any season really)...

This month we discuss why other couples reject us when reaching out from a lifestyle dating site and how to improve our chances of success in the future. This episode complements our episode 62 "Putting Yourself Out There - Lifestyle Profiles 2.0" and our blog post on the same topic titled "Our First Online Couple Profile."