We Gotta Thing

What makes the WGT community unique? We are not a dating site. We are not like a Facebook group. Nor are we similar to a Discord server, a Slack channel, a Zoom meeting or a WhatsApp conversation. What are we then? We are a community full of real people in real relationships who are looking to explore, learn, share and interact with others in a safe, non-judgmental and secure virtual environment. What will you gain in one year by joining us? Mastered Communication – You’ll have developed unshakable confidence in open and honest conversations, leading to more trust, deeper intimacy, and fewer misunderstandings with your partner. A Thriving Support System – You’ll be surrounded by a network of like-minded couples who truly get you, offering support, wisdom, and genuine friendship. No more feeling like you’re navigating this journey alone. New & Exciting Experiences – Whether through online discussions, live events, or luxurious getaways, you’ll have explored new facets of your relationship in a way that fee

Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us to help define that 'squishy' term that is a result of some combination of 'swinging' and 'polyamory.' She then discusses pro's and con's of what to expect when creating your own brand of 'swolly' and then shares tips on how to successfully communicate and navigate along the way. Resources mentioned during this episode: Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast- The New Monogamy with Dr. Tammy Nelson The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Quiz  

You're awake again at 3:00am. You can't go back to sleep. You calculate how much sleep you'll have if you go back to sleep right now. Then, while staring at the ceiling, a voice inside your head decides to make up a (absolutely truthful and believable) story about a missed opportunity with another couple and why they aren't responding to your messages to meet again.... Sound familiar? In this episode Meshai from Expansive Connection helps us to understand where that voice is coming from, how to recognize the lack of logic in that voice and how to redirect the conversation to something more logical and accurate. Also, you are not the only one experiencing these very convincing voices! Learn more about Expansive Connection coaching services on their website and while you're there be sure to subscribe to their newsletter!

We are contantly bombarded with lifestyle symbols and the promises they bring of attracting lifestyle couples to us in our day-to-day lives! From upside down pineapples in the grocery store, to black rings on the right ring finger, to white rocks at the end of the driveway, to wearing jewelry that brings special powers. Some content creators, lifestyle businesses and marketers exploit our collective desire to stay anonymous while at the same time magically attracting others into our secret lives with little or no effort at all. In this episode we discuss how to both pick-up on a send those sexy vibes in ways that require a bit of work on our part but often lead to meaningful connections with others regardless of the setting. It's all about being noticeable and creating enough curiousity and intrigue to draw others in and then knowing how to engage and progress in a natural way. 

What is trust not? Trust is not a feeling that someone else creates in us with their actions. Some of us think we can trust people only when they are doing what we want them to do so we don't feel uncomfortable things we don't want to feel. Additionally, trust is not using other people as our emotional security blankets. Our brains love predictability and safety so when someone doesn't behave in the ways we want them to we can feel unsafe, or in others words, we may 'freak out' a bit! Kel from Expansive Connection joins Mr Jones this episode to help us understand what trust is, what trust is not, and how to work through what appear to be trust issues with your partner. Resources: Brene Brown Trust Talk   The Gottmans on Trust    UnFuck Your Brain- Trust 

Fearing or experiencing jealousy is one of the biggest reasons couples either don't try the lifestyle or don't last in the lifestyle. Why is that? It's more complex than we realize! Join us as Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching helps us to understand the many flavors of jealousy to include envy, comparison, performance insecurities, fear of abandonment and many more. Download the complete list of the flavors of jealousy here!

Please join us in celebrating 10 years recording the We Gotta Thing podcast! This is a very special episode recorded live with a group of our closest friends at the Desire Pearl resort. We thank all of our listeners and community members for the steadfast support and look forward to recording many more episodes in the years to come! Cheers!

Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we dive into the topic of being rejected in the lifestyle. We all experience the negative emotions when rejected by others and Meshai helps us to understand why we feel this way and how to process and respond to these feelings.

Why do we want to connect with others? What are some ways we connect with others? What types of connections may we experience? How do we stay connected? What happens if we become disconnected with others? We explore possible answers to these questions to better prepare ourselves for what we may face as we explore the lifestyle and engage with others.

Jason from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us this month to discuss the 'non-quantifiable' work involved in exploring non-monogamy. Based on our WGT episode 100 in which we discuss the quantifiable work, we now dig in to consider things like being intentional, being present, staying engaged, investing ourselves and our time and much more.

Listen in as our friends Mark and Beth share their unique journey into and exploration of non-monogamy! We also review our Virgin Cruise out of Barcelona and discuss our first local lifestyle meet and greet since our big move south.

Kel from Expansive Connection coaching joins us to discuss some of the benefits and challenges one may encounter when choosing to explore the non-monogamous lifestyle. Kel shares from her perspective of being a certified relationship coach and also from her experience being non-monogamous with her partner. Resources mentioned: We Gotta Thing podcast episode 33: "How the Lifestyle Strengthens our Relationship" We Gotta Thing podcast episode 41: "A Licensed Counselor (and swinger) Breaks Down Jealousy" Sex and Psychology by Justin Lehmiller- podcast episode 215: "Dealing in Differences in Relationships"

Having experienced counseling ourselves over the past few months, we invite Catherine from Expansive Connection to talk with us about how those in non-monogamous relationships benefit from getting guidance from professionals. Also, we share some exciting news about the future of the We Gotta Thing podcast! 

Listen in as we review the brand new "The Eden" section of Desire Riviera Maya! We also enlist the help of many of our friends in a live recording from the resort to share how they challenged themselves to become a bit 'less vanilla' during our recent group trip.

Most of us have mastered being 'adult-like' in all aspects of our lives. We are experienced at life. We are parents, spouses/partners, coaches, employees, teachers, leaders and friends. We've become accustomed to situations that require a mature and thoughtful response (most of the time anyway!). However, when engaged in non-monogamy we can experience new things and perhaps even some new feelings. We are sharing ourselves and our partners initmately with others. Our relationship is now at risk so the stakes are high. Situations will arise that invoke strong emotions in a way we may not have experienced before and it can be difficult not to act out in ways that may hurt others or push them away. In this episode Catherine, a licensed therapist from Expansive Connection Coaching talks about what is happening inside our brains and how we might be able to anticipate and respond 'like adults' when things don't go as we expect.

Being vulnerable is not easy and may not come natural for some, espcially when exploring the lifestyle. We tend to wall off our personal lives because we're worried about people knowing too much about us. We don't want to be known. We're here just to have some sexy fun, right? In this episode we talk about how being vulnerable has led to some amazing friendships as well as a lot of sexy fun with people who care. The more we share the more we gain confidence, become more attractive to others and most importantly discover our authentic selves! Join our community and download our brand new WGT app here!

Are you the type of person who puts the feelings of others above of your own? Do you want to have a stronger voice when someone suggests something you don’t necessarily want to do? You are not alone! Listen in as we discuss how and why this happens in a non-monogamous lifestyle and what the potential fallout, consequences and sometimes benefits can be!

We explore the perceptions and realities of what, exactly a kiss can mean to those in the lifestyle community. Does granting a kiss commit me to a sexual experience? Why do some couples have a 'no kissing' rule? How do I gain consent to give a kiss? Can giving someone a kiss send the wrong message? A kiss may sound like a simple thing but it's anything but that to those exploring and experiencing the world of non-monogamy.

Listen in on our live recording from Desire Pearl where our guests discuss their unique perspectives, perceptions and realities of the term 'clothing optional.' Most of us struggle with self-confidence and have body-image issues so the idea of being naked in front of others can cause anxiety and fear. After hearing stories from other 'real people' we can better understand what it's all about and how it can help us discover and grow into our real selves. Being naked is a good thing!

Join Mr & Mrs Jones and they interview "Scott & Kelly." This couple's journey into the lifestyle sounds like many other origin stories but then takes a bit of a turn when a family member shares some unexpected news. In another suprising twist the lifestyle community jumps in for a big assist to help and support them work through an interesting dilemma.