2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast

When you go out to your favorite club to go dancing and you see a couple of older Lesbians out on the dance floor looking like they're having seizures...there's no need to panic. Don't try to stuff a wallet in their mouths to keep them from swallowing their tongues. We're just dusting off their dance moves from a few decades ago.

The high price of gas gives us gas. It also makes it hard to be a proper Lesbian, with a big pick-up truck, oversized tires and a hemi...whatever that is.

It's important to know when to say when. You have to know when to stop bringing home rescued pets and homeless pets, so that you don't risk having to find a new home for for both of you. That's when people such as Karma Rescue step in and help out to bring those pets back to good health and to find them a new home.

Just because you scream out the name of the Lord while having sex doesn't necesarily mean that you've got religion. It could actually mean that you're losing your religion right at that very moment. It's an added bonus when your mother hears it and finds out at the very same time. That way you don't have to go through the agony of breaking her heart later.

Driving while you're drowsy can be very dangerous, indeed. Once again, we're here to help, with techniques designed to keep you wide awake on your next long drive. Roxanne's nephew, Ben, joins us for a visit and some helpful hints.

The times in your life that you look back on and remember forever are those good times you spent together with close family and loved ones. It's the vacations you took together, the time you spent hanging out, and all the new experiences you shared for the very first time together. What you didn't expect is that one of those moments would also include you seeing a real live penis for the very first time.

If you can't work for the "man" any longer, a good career alternative is to become the "man". It's time to explore your entrepreneurial side as Roxanne considers career options for the future.

No parent ever believes that their angelic child would learn to do naughty things or to pick up bad habits on their own. If their child picked up smoking, started cussing or even became a Lesbian, it must be some other kid's fault. We finally find out the answer to this enduring mystery about whose fault it really is. We 've found the person to blame for everything.

Going to church just isn't what it used to be. Now they have full-length concerts with a full band and Gay back up singers, videos with the words roll across the the TV so that you can sing along with the bouncing ball, and they have Ad Libs you can work on throughout the sermon to keep it interesting. With all that going on, how is it possible that anyone could get irate in the middle of all that love, kindness and happiness?

Roxanne's niece comes bursting out of the closet, and now we have lots more room in there to put away all those winter coats and jackets. On a somewhat related note, if someone named "Gangsta Gramma" tries to be your friend on MySpace, make sure you just say "no".

It's not that adults don't understand MySpace...it's just that we don't know have a clue what we're doing and how to set it up. One thing I do understand, however, is that if I ever find myself out of Roxanne's "top eight", I'll know that we've broken up and it's time for me to move out of the house. Check out our MySpace page and become our friend!

When you're new to a town and you're just getting started on the road to coming out, it's good to have a caring supportive guide to help you out. It's better to ease into a new lifestyle, rather than having someone drag you to a fetish club with people giving lap dances and stripping for free drinks. Of course...some people may actually appreciate that.

Nothing could be more enjoyable or relaxing than driving around in beautiful, sunny LA weather with the top down in a brand new convertible. It's all fun and games until the gang-banger jumps in the car with you at a red light with a carload of people chasing him following right behind.

Sleeping should be relaxing and restful...a time for peaceful and pleasant dreams. You don't want to find yourself at the beach, in Las Vegas, standing in a hotel lobby with your girlfriend's new sex partner...while her mother looks on and smiles.

You can take the girl out of the disco, but you can't take the disco out of the girl. It's Disco Saturday Night and everyone has taken their Geritol and arthritis pills so that they can blow out a hip on the way to disco nirvana.

What's an older Lesbian doing with an under-age, teenage girl at Los Angeles Gay Pride -- holding hands and buying her temporary tattoos, jewelry, Diet Coke's and anything else she wants? If it's Roxanne, then she's out with her niece showing her how the Gay community celebrates Pride.

Those Gays are up to something, and it takes an undercover reporter to get to the truth about what really goes on at Gay Pride in San Diego. To do the job right takes plenty of hands on research, including hours spent at the S&M tent to make sure you understand how it's done, and careful monitoring of the Pride Parade, including trying to get a picture of the man on roller blades in a body thong. It's also important to inspect the free packets of lube and 19 different types of condoms so that you don't miss a single clue.

We cover the world of roommates who are leeches and girlfriends who are ATM machines. Slide the credit card between her breasts and watch the money come out the other end.

Roxanne comes down with a summer cold. Instead of getting sympathy, orange juice, throat lozenges or a soft box of tissues....Roxanne is exiled to the guest bedroom. Even the dogs don't want to be in the same room with her.

Summer means it's time to be fashionable, ladies, and Tyra says that handkerchiefs are "in" for this season. Before you just shove your favorite bandana into your back pocket there are some things you need to know, however. Picking the wrong color and putting it in the wrong pocket with the knot going the wrong way can have someone tying you up, shrimping your toes and trying to shave you if you're not careful. We're here to help.