2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast

Roxanne had the "experience of a lifetime" on ALC6, but the memories of her best friend, Sybil will be what she remembers the most. We also learn that professional people can sometimes date crazies, too. Join us on this last installment from our series on ALC6.

You might be a Lesbian if...When you go through airport security and set off the alarm, the security guard asks you to step through the screening area a second time while asking you if perhaps you are wearing something metal...such as a big ol' belt buckle.

When going to work means strapping on a toolbelt, putting on a uniform or slipping into the latest style of color coordinated, polyester track suit, you can be sure that you're in one of today's hottest careers for Lesbians. We review all the options for young Lesbians just starting out, and pay homage to UPS Lesbians everywhere.

It never occurred to me that I would live in a house where I'd have to worry about the toilet seat being up when I go to the bathroom. Now that the P-Mate's have arrived...the toilet seat being up is a hazard I may just have to live with. Roxanne has discovered that it's not only convenient to pee standing up, but it's a lot of fun, too.

It's time to go back to school to earn your honorary Lesbian degree. Before you get ready to take that test, however, let us walk you through some important vocabulary lessons with words and expressions you'll need to know. Thanks to Kathy Belge for her list at Lesbian Life to help make us the smartest Lesbians on the planet.

Poultry flavored toothbrush, $29.50...canine catheterization, $25.77...big steel clanging neuticles to make your toy poodle look as tough as a pit bull as he walks down the street...priceless.

It happens only once a year. Paris meets California at the Orange County Swap Meet for Fashion Week. Roxanne is there with all the color commentary and sightings of this year's most stylish couture.

Costco doesn't sponsor us...but maybe they should. They can always count on us for helping to drive the stock price higher with our toilet paper purchases and our constant need to purchase more dog beds. If we ever move out of the area, Costco will almost certainly need to close down the Burbank location due to a unforseen drop in sales volume.

It's not easy to face your fears. It takes courage, determination and a willingness to let go of the old habits that hold you back. Roxanne takes a bold step forward to overcome her fear of vegetables this weekend as she musters up all her strength to attend the Strawberry Festival...even if strawberries are not a vegetable.

Bad customer service has become a way of life in America. In fact, we've become so good at it that we've decided that the global economy is a good way for us to teach other countries how to give shitty customer service, too. After all, why should we be selfish and keep it all to ourselves?

Fires raced across two areas of Los Angeles last week. Roxanne thinks it's the work of twisted pyromaniacs, but Virginia is convinced that the Griffith Park fire was started by a meth-head cruising for a blow job in the park. As for the Catalina fire, we're both convinced that the fire is a sure sign for the woman about to get married in Catalina that she really shouldn't get married at all. It's a sign that she should come out as a Lesbian instead.

The fascists of political correctness set their sites on a stereotypical, older, white male and prepare to fire. As champions of the cause, they come out with both guns blaring and project all their baggage about how he doesn't respect or acknowledge gay relationships. What they didn't know...is that this particular older white man is Roxanne's Dad.

Good relationships take balance, cooperation and joint responsiblity for household chores. Everyone has their job to do, whether it means obsessively vacuuming up dog hair, taking out trash barrels filled with dog shit, or simply emptying out trash cans on the neighbor's lawn.

When it comes to your very best friends, you want to make sure you pick out a special gift that they will remember forever. Ideally, it will be something they can reminisce about and talk about for years to come. So, the next time a special occasion rolls around and you need to pick out a gift for someone special, we're here for you.

You Googled MILF because your membership in the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) expired and you wanted to find their web site. What came up instead was the Wikipedia entry for MILF: 1. (slang) Mother I'd like to fuck: A mother found sexually attractive.

Take one part stupid, two parts ignorant and three parts asshole. Stir ingredients vigorously with middle finger until good and frothy. Bake in the Los Angeles freeway system for 45 minutes, and you're got a nice, steaming plate of Road Rage. Serves four.

On your birthday you always get to be princess for a day. Of course, it wouldn't be fair to those around you who might not be around to celebrate for just that one day. That's why you have to celebrate your birthday week and maybe even your birthday month as well. Next year, why not just go for the gusto and call it your birthday year.

Take a ride with Roxanne as she gets ready for ALC 6 on a training day designed to give the volunteers and the cyclists an idea of what it will be like on an actual day of on the event itself. Roxanne is awed by the way the cyclists pull together to help each other up the long, steep hills, and she is blown away by the inspirational qualities of disco music, even among a generation that grew up with Milli Vanilli.

For seven days this coming June, Roxanne and Virginia will be volunteering to support the more than 2,000 riders and 500 volunteer roadies on the AIDS Life Cycle 6 cycling event to raise money for AIDS care. This is Roxanne's maiden voyage on the event and Virginia's 13th time as either a volunteer or a cyclist. ALC is a 585 mile bicycle ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles to support the HIV services of the LA Gay & Lesbian Center and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. Help Roxanne meet her fundraising goal by clicking on the link to the right.

We all had them the first time around, but only those with a real sense of style and class were bold enough to get in on the most recent mullet craze. Apparently, we have to get out more.