Savage Lovecast

"Enough with the poly! " Or so says this gay man, who is sick of being disrespected by his boyfriend catting around, acting like a no-good cad and using polyamory as a shield.  Meanwhile, can't a homo in the rural West have nice, no-strings-attached hook-ups anymore? All the men he meets want to get married or something.  On the Magnum, Dan brings on comedian Dulcé Sloan from The Daily Show to talk about the perils of dating menfolk. Apparently, it's dangerous out there.  And, a woman's boyfriend used to drink too much and drive drunk. She put the hammer down, and he cut way back on drinking claiming he never gets behind the wheel when he's had a few. But she knows he still drinks with his buddies and lies about how much. She likes a drink now and again. Is she being hypocritical and controlling? Or is his consumption creeping back up to dangerous and out of control?  Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by wo

A man's wife had to quit drinking due to a medical condition. They used to get tipsy and have wild sex. Now that she can't drink the sex has become rote and inhibited. They plan to go on vacation together, but the caller feels that if they can't have their free-wheeling sex, he doesn't want go on vacation at all.  Don't you want to hear Dan's conversation with an adult baby/diaper lover? Yes, yes you do.  On the Magnum, a gay man is looking for the most penis-like sex toy he can find that doesn't leak toxic, hormone-disrupting chemicals. Dan brings on our resident sex toy expert, Erika Moen to go over the possibilities. And...pineapples! What do they REALLY mean? Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go

A gay man's best friend has such a devastating crush on him, that they can't be friends anymore. The caller begged him to try to get over it. But crushes are crushing. Is there anything this (platonically) jilted caller can do?  Here's the scenario: A straight, divorced woman starting dating a *wonderful* man, and they started seeing each other exclusively. He really is spectacular. But then she received a message on Instagram from a woman claiming to be his other girlfriend, who also thinks she's dating him exclusively. He promised to fly straight, stop the lying and stick with the caller. She notices that he has a Snapchat account that he uses suspiciously. He gets calls from other women all the time. He has kids from a previous marriage, but he hasn't told his children about her. Guess why he got divorced. He was cheating all the time! Here's the heart-breaking punchline to this call: Her question is- how can she learn to get over her paranoia and just trust this guy?  On the Magnum, here's an etiquette qu

Happy Feast of the Ass for all who celebrate! A gay man is fed up with the guys who try to use the gym as their personal hook-up site. When the leering moves into harassment, should he tell management? Or is this just to be expected in gay male spaces?  A recently divorced straight man is hot to trot. He dates casually, but catches feelings so soon, that he scares off the women. How can he learn to take it slow?  On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome Damona Hoffman back to the show. Listen in as these titans of the dating advice world chitty-chat, spar and dish it up together. Hoffman's new book "F THE FAIRY TALE: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story" is all about the myths we believe about dating, and how to cultivate a more realistic, successful approach to finding people.  And, a gay man hooked up with a much older man (with a giant penis, incidentally.) The man asked the caller if he would be into some BDSM. The caller has never been interested in kink, especially with someone he bar

A German lesbian was propositioned by a younger grad student. (This sounds like a porno but it's not.) The grad student was raised in a conservative environment, and it's the first time she's ever spoken of her female attraction. They only have a month before they both move away. Should the caller get down with the girl or restrain herself? In a very different call, a gay man has applied for a job at the church he used to volunteer for when he was much younger. Why did he quit, you ask? The clergyman he worked under sexually assaulted him, and then spread lies about him when the caller refused to go along with it. The caller doesn't know how to explain this to the church leadership today. And they will ask questions... On the Magnum, the queer podcasting stars align, as Dan brings on McKenzie Goodwin and Rachel Scanlon of "2 Dykes and a Mic." Obviously, they had a lot to talk about. Queer joy. Trans women in lesbian spaces. Pronouns. Getting "hermed." We love these two dykes with all our might, and so will yo

A lesbian has a terrible bullshit detector. She keeps falling for lies and getting conned. How can our credulous heroine protect herself from lying liars?  A man and his ex- girlfriend are utterly estranged. She has cut off all contact from him. But he noticed that she is still using his Netflix password. What's more, he can see what she's watching and when. He doesn't mind letting her mooch off his subscription, but it feels like an invasion of her privacy to see what she's viewing. His question is whether he should also stop paying for her Magnum subscription to the Lovecast for the same reason. And since she's a power Lovecast fan, she will definitely hear this... On the Magnum, Jen Hecht of Building Healthy Online Communities works with dating apps to inspire a more polite, and healthy dating scene. Her org worked with app companies to craft messages urging gay men to get the monkeypox vaccine. She and Dan talk about her work and strategies to be successful on the apps.  And, it's the OTHER WOMAN! A few w

For this very special Sex & Politics, we invite you to leave your earthly cares behind and explore with us what sex would be like...in space!  It turns out, it will be terrible. Dr. Kelly and Zach Weinersmith, authors of "A City on Mars," are on to talk about the difficult logistics of both recreational and procreational sex on Mars. Learn about a sex test using geckos, the "snuggle tunnel," and, how we must use the "rocket equation" to answer Dan's question: "How far can you shoot a load in space?" Would monogamy or polyamory best suit life on the red planet? YOU WILL FIND OUT.  Although it might seem sexy for Elon Musk to rule mars (to Elon Musk,) Zach warns us that "Space is a giant superfund site that is also trying to kill you with psychics." Not so hot.  This is a very fun convo, so Santa is giving it to Magnum and Micro listeners alike. Happy holidays, friends. 

Dick pic backfire! When a woman received an image of her sexting partner's wiener, she was distressed to see small white bumps adorning his penis. Could it be HPV? That's bad, right? Should she tell him? Does he know already?  Ah, the folks you'll meet online...A woman connected with a man via Tinder who claimed to have regular vacation sex with his mother. She then found a Reddit community full of folks all claiming the same thing. Is this real? Do we have to date men who have sex with their mothers now?  On the Magnum, welcome to the seedy, shady and lucrative world of the NoFap movement. In this "What You Got," Dan interviews neuroscientist and sex researcher Dr. Nicole Prause who analyzed the violent culture of the men who are convinced that masturbation drains them of their masculinity.  A trans woman is a switch. She can be the dom, she can be the sub. But she usually ends up domming because of the general shortage of doms. How can a trans gal get tied up already?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This e

A married gay man endured a sexless relationship for 10 long years... until he didn't. After cheating, he is getting a divorce. But now the caller feels villainized, as his ex-husband spins the story out to their friends. How can he avoid being painted as the bad guy?  A dad just got a delicious Prince Albert piercing. How can he explain this new jewelry when his young son sees it?  On the Magnum: when your career focuses on education around sexually transmitted infections, you are a very busy lady. Dan brings back the ever-informative Dr. Ina Park to talk about home remedies for herpes, PrEP for women and other questions relating to the modern plagues.  And, when introverts marry extroverts: Sometimes it works perfectly. But this alpha female wishes her man would make some friends already.  We are your best friends. Call us up! 206-302-2064 Q@Savage.Love This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better,

When drunk friends pounce! A happily married, monogamous man went to a concert with his gal pal. But she arrived so drunk, staggering around and embarrassing herself, that he had to bundle her in a car and get her home. But she made sloppy moves on him, and although it's been a long time, he can't let it go or fully forgive her. Should he confront her? Will she even remember?  A man has been hanging out with and flirting with a woman, letting the sexual tension build. But he and his ex are beginning to talk again, and he thinks they will get back together. How can he tell his friend/crush to cool her jets when nothing has even been acknowledged?  On the Magnum: Ah the perils of being in the "sex space." People think that because you write or podcast about sex that you're down for anything with anyone. Dan and April & Amy from "Shameless Sex" had a LOT to talk about. Like, why step-porn can be empowering for women, why cuddle puddles aren't for everyone and, hear the odd tale of the choking masseuse.  And read

When telling a hook-up that you don't want to continue seeing them, how much detail should you give? A woman enjoyed the sex with her quickie guy, but he was too insecure and needy for her tastes. Should she tell him this in the exit interview?  A lesbian was terribly bullied in school by three mean girls. She moved to Europe, came out and got her life together. One of the mean girls has been messaging her and flirting, asking her out for drinks for when she visits. So, to put it bluntly, should the caller fuck the shit out of her bully over Thanksgiving?  On the Magnum: Are you the parent of a horny teen? Or a soon-to-be horny teen? Talking to them about sex can be daunting. Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of "Yes Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Teens and Sex." They talk about access to porn, social media, and when your three-year-old wanks at daycare.  A woman and her best friend went to a party and used some undisclosed substances. The friend then told the caller she was in love with he

A pansexual woman and her new lover got an unpleasant surprise...gonorrhea! But nothing makes sense. They had both tested negative and he claimed he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. Did she get it from her sex toys? What happened here?  A woman was messing around with a married man for a while. He always closed his eyes during sex, and never wanted her to talk. He even covered her mouth once when she tried to speak. She broke it off, but wonders what was going on in his tortured mind.  On the Magnum: Getting ready to hunker down with difficult relatives over Thanksgiving? Take a deep breath (and the sedative of your choice) and listen to this interview. Dan brings on wholesome Marriage and Family Therapist Vienna Pharaon. Her book "The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love" is on point. With imperfect family members who aren't evil, but aren't great, how can we be in relationship with them while meeting them as they are? And how can we protect ourselves from the t