Savage Lovecast

A woman and her husband are getting into group sex. The catch? She’s newly pregnant. Should she disclose this to participants?  4 years ago, soon after a woman got together with her boyfriend, in a fit of paranoia, he checked to see if she was indeed doing what she said she would be doing with some friends. When she found out about this, she confronted him and he apologized. He’s never done anything like this since and their relationship is good. Still. Should she dump him for this past transgression?  On the Magnum, we welcome back our favorite ghost(ing) writer, Justine Ang Fonte, to discuss the delicate art of saying “No.” A woman sent her friend-with-benefits a sex tape of herself. He said he loved it and has watched it “many times.” But she was able to see that he watched it only twice. Is this grounds for freaking out?  voicemail@savagelovecast.com         206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an exte

Strap in (or on) for a wild ride folks, because this is the April Fool’s Day show. We asked you to send in fake calls and you came through in a big way. It is Dan Savage’s challenge to spot the phonies.  A woman wonders how to help her friend dispose of his unwanted sex doll. Can he just take it to the dump?  A man and his wife both got Fitbits. But now, when they have sex, they both immediately check them to see how they did from a fitness perspective!  Some kinks explored on this show: globes, bones, animals, talking peeholes, nudism, mullets and astrology. Which are real? Can you tell?  Have you ever wanted to hear Yoda talk dirty? No? Nobody’s making you subscribe to the Magnum… 206-302-2064           voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAP

A woman with teenaged kids has started seeing a man she’s known for a decade. It’s a dom/sub relationship, where she is the dom. Part of their arrangement is that she gets to date other people and he does not. She has always been transparent and open with her kids, but she hasn’t told them about this new relationship. Should she? A man has decided he never wants to bring kids into the world. But he’s eager to adopt and have a family. How and when can he explain this on his dating profiles? On the Magnum, our guest is Laura Kipness- author of “Love in the Time of Contagion.” The two talk about everything under the sun, including polyamory, relationship anarchy, power as an aphrodisiac, the perversity of being confined during covid times and much more.  And, Dan councils a woman whose father is a big ole cheater. He got caught kissing a woman at a bar by the caller and then lied about it to the whole family. His wife is disabled and needs a lot of care. The caller doesn’t want to butt in on her parents’ sex lif

Gather round listeners, and hear the gruesome tale of a spit roasting mishap.  A Ukrainian queer woman living in Canada is horrified and heartbroken that her Russian grandmother is not only homophobic, but pro-Putin as well. How do you maintain a relationship with such a person?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with his old enemy, reformed Republican strategist Tim Miller from The Bulwark about Florida’s reprehensible “Don’t Say Gay “ bill.  And finally! Dan offers THE definition of sex.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com             206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE. This episo

A man matched with a woman in an ethical non-monogamous relationship. She proposed they meet at a lifestyle club. He had never heard of lifestyle clubs before and wonders if this is an elaborate scam to boost the club’s membership. Is this on the up and up?  A man started seeing a new woman, and it’s time to share his kinks. He is into cross-dressing. (Ho hum.) And wearing maxi pads. (Oh my!) How can he tell her this without scaring her off?  Speaking of scaring people off…our What You Got is extra spicy today. In what must be our first combination of a What You Got and Darwin Award nomination, a man inserted the straw from a can of spray foam insulation into his urethra, and pressed the button. Dr. Susan MacDonald, the intrepid researcher and Urology Professor, presents this case study with more calm than most of us are capable of.  And, a domme woman is trying to get pregnant with her sub. How can they adjust their sex practices to maximize the chances of fertilization?  We’re looking for answers here.  v

It’s pretty much the nightmare scenario. Her new boyfriend gave her a digital picture frame. She mischievously sent him a nude, not knowing that it would post to a whole network of his friends, including his conservative Evangelical Christian mother. She hasn’t met his mother yet. When the day comes, how can she look her in the eye?  A brave woman has taken up being a Dom to men she meets online. They come to her house and the fun begins. But she hates the awkward chit-chat at the beginning, before they assume their roles. How can she cut to the chase?  On the Magnum version, a man asks Dan to reconcile the seeming contradiction of the public health mandate to wash one’s hands, with the celebrated practice of eating ass. “Please explain.” Dan brings on Dr. Daniel Summers- pediatrician, and hand-washing advocate to shed light on the situation.  And, a bisexual man would like to dress more…bisexually. Can anyone help him pick out some threads?  voicemail@savagelovecast.com.  206-302-2064 This episode is brough

Hey everyone! Meet your new co-worker, and her …master. At the work party, the new gal showed up with her 24/7 master who fed her in front of everyone, the whole time. Now, the caller doesn’t want to be sex-negative or anything, but is this appropriate workplace etiquette?  Next up! Do you like to crank them hogs? This widower had a rich, fulfilling sex life with his wife Barb, but she passed away. How can he find sexual fulfillment in his golden years? (And, Nancy has an important message for you.) Dan meets his millennial match in Shan Boodram- host of the “Lovers and Friends” podcast. They talk about why so many women can’t let go of bad partners, “trauma bonds” vs. “survivor bonds” and when white women are attracted to “Black Girl Magic.” You get a taste of it on the Micro, and all of it on the Magnum.  And, a trans guy is in a monogamous relationship with his boyfriend. But the caller wants to open it up so he can have sex with friends. Can the boyfriend come around in time? (Hint: Dan’s husband did…”) v

Hoo boy do we have a goodie for you today.  First off, a woman and her boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. They stay home, watch tv, play videos games and don’t have sex. When one of them tries to initiate, they both feel too silly to get in the mood. How can they get their mojo back?  Our guests are Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson from the Guys We F****d podcast. Why we haven’t had them on the show sooner is a mystery to everyone. Dan and the ladies gab about dating younger guys, dating sexual prudes, getting laid when you aren’t so pretty, how we all have daddy issues, cuckolding and so much more. A bit of it is on the Micro and the whole sordid thing is on the Magnum.  And, how you teach your man to clean his ass properly?  voicemail@savagelovecast.com. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you

Ah Valentine’s Day. This year, Dan will finally teach you how keep it spicy...very, very spicy. Let’s tuck in. Inevitable Divorce: A man with a history of divorce in his family was chatting with a friend about how he would consider marriage when he could afford to get divorced. But his boyfriend of 3 years overheard and now there’s hell to pay.  A lesbian bought a delightful dildo to use on her girlfriend. But guess what. They broke up! Does our caller have to throw away the sex toy, still in its box? And does she always have to be the one to buy them?  On the Magnum version of the show, have your Dear John letter written by a pro. Dan talks to Justine Ang Fonte, a ghostwriter who will happily write the texts you dread to send.  And, a lesbian is in that unenviable position of being the piece on the side. The woman she’s in love with already has a girlfriend and despite the great sex with the caller, won’t break up with anyone. Love hurts. Oooooh oooooh, love hurts.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com  206-302-206

A man regrets breaking up with his girlfriend. He always does this! He ends his great relationships because his expectations are too high. Would she consider coming back to him? Should he even ask?  Erika Lust who is making waves with her ethical, woman-centered erotic films. She and Dan have a long convo on how porn is our default sex-ed, what porn made for women can be like, and how to consume porn thoughtfully and ethically.  On the Magnum, a man has started dating a rather demanding virgin. Although they are sexual together, she has roadblocks set up at every turn. She will give him hand jobs only through his underwear, for instance. Dan consults his mean lesbian boss Tracey “Peaches” Cataldo to speculate and what’s might really be going on here. And, a woman has had sex with a dude twice. The first time was great. But, oy, the second time! He went at her like a jack hammer without paying any attention to her pleasure. Then he criticized her dirty talk prowess, comparing her to his ex-girlfriend. She wond

That’s right, all of you who enjoy watching your partners sleep with others now are officially celebrated ALL WEEK LONG. And here at the Savage Lovecast, we’re delighted to take part.  Venus Cuckoldress is on to talk about her podcast, and to advise a woman about her plan to have a gang bang on her wedding night. And there’s more on the big ole Magnum version of the show.  Then, also on the Magnum, Dan chats with David Ley, who literally wrote the book on cuckolding- “Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them.” He and Rose Caraway (who narrates the audiobook, and came up with the idea for Cuck Week ) are on to talk about what a relief it is to finally have the practice of cuckolding out in the open. But do we need just a little bit of shame to enhance that erotic charge? They discuss.  And now. What is the next sexual practice to get its own week-long celebration?  Record a Q and send it in to us! voicemail@savagelovecast.com Or call 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespac

Oh no, it’s a three-way gone bad! A woman and her fiancé agreed to sleep with their friend. She set her very clear boundaries, and guess what? He and the gal broke them all in a triumph of cruelty and inconsideration. Now what? They have been together for 12 years. Can you imagine? A poly woman with a chronic medical condition has been attracted to a good friend for a while. The sexual tension is building…but she found out that not only is he unvaccinated, but he never intends to get the vaccine, indeed has never received a vaccine of any kind due to his religious beliefs. But he is scorching hot! Dan enlists the help of the good doctor Stacy De-Lin to wag her professional finger at this reckless, selfish, deluded, unethical (but very foxy) wacko.  On the Magnum, we are delighted to bring on comedian Zach Noe Towers (Dating #NoFilter, and Dear White People.) They advise a puzzled lesbian about the top/bottom dichotomy among gay men, and discuss the complication that having herpes can bring to your group sex e

A happily married trans man came out to his mom. She didn’t take it well. She told him that if he changed his name it would kill her. Then she died. Now he is faced with a choice- should he use his former name at the funeral gathering, or use his true, current name?  A married woman enjoys animalistic, primal, rough sex. Her husband is also gentle and sweet and affectionate. She loves both, but has a hard time transitioning from one style to the other.  On the Magnum, Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick to discuss the ubiquity of choking in sex. Making the leap from porn to real bedrooms, it is often poorly communicated about beforehand.  And, speaking of poor communication, hear the terrible tale of a New Years Eve polyamorous debacle.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company w

Let us start the New Year with…blackmail! A woman’s boyfriend got ensnarled by an extortionist on a kink website who sent private sexual photos to her family. Now she has to work through her anger and worry around sex and kink. Yuk, right? But then! You can hear the triumphant story of a man who batted away an aspiring blackmailer by telling her to go ahead and send out his pics “but be sure to use a filter to make my eyes look pretty.”  A woman in poly relationships has gained a lot of weight after having a child. Her tertiary partners are no longer attracted to her. Should she try to persuade them to love her new bigger body, or find some other folks who will worship her for who she is now. Dan brings on Leah Carey host of “Good Girls Talk About Sex,” to help the caller grapple with her body image issues.  On the Magnum, we have a “What You Got” by James Mackay, about hypnosis and pornography in a cultural history of the two genres.  And finally, a woman has flashbacks after she has sex, in which her recoll

Happy New Year?  Boy oh boy, Dan tells a lot of people to break up on this episode. There’s the gay man with an older boyfriend who might want to go poly despite his boyfriend’s commitment to monogamy. There’s the woman who is finally in a healthy, caring relationship, but it’s booooring. And, there’s the woman whose boyfriend emotionally abuses her and refuses to go to therapy, insisting he will never treat her better. Out with the old, people! Let’s all treat ourselves right in 2022! On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. Daniel Grossman- a professor of obstetrics and gynecology about abortion medication. He explains how the drugs work, the legal situation should Roe V. Wade be struck down and crucially, teaches Dan how to pronounce “ mifepristone.” Please go to https://abortionfunds.org/ and make a donation this instant.  And, a masc lesbian would like some lessons on how to properly dominate her girlfriend the way she wants it. The problem is she’s too polite! How can she pretend to be a big mean Dom, when it

Happy Solstice everyone, who’s up for some label salad? A cassgendered (look it up- we did,) demi, pan person has a partner who was assigned male at birth but is taking hormones to be more feminine. The partner feels non-gendered, and enjoys having both a penis and breasts. But they feel they have to present as male because they live in a conservative area. They are only attracted to women, and wonders what label to use when filling out dating profiles.  A bi woman met a man on an app, who lives in another town. He came to visit, and brought a woman with him so they could all have a three-way. It went great, but the caller grooved with the woman much more than the man. Tragically, she failed to get her contact info. When they parted the man cut off all contact and is effectively twat-blocking the caller from reaching out to the gal. It’s an outrage! No one can bring the holiday cheer quite like our favorite dominatrix, Mistress Matisse! She is on to answer questions from listeners who are considering getting

Why was he such a bad lover? A woman hooked up with a younger man, and endured mediocre sex. He didn’t reciprocate oral, for instance. She blew him off, and when he reached out to her, she was honest about his lack of skill. Later, he drunk-dialed her and confessed that it had been his first time. Now she feels guilty and wishes she had been more compassionate, knowing what she now knows. Does she owe him anything?  A woman has discovered that her new boyfriend follows porny, blonde bimbo types on Insta. She is dark complected and looks nothing like these women. She doesn’t want to sex-shame him, but his taste seems really thoughtless and basic to her. Is it a red flag? Should she confront him?  On the Magnum, it’s time to shop baby! Boost that economy with the gift of sex toys. Our beloved regular guest Erika Moen (of “Oh Joy Sex Toy,” and “Let’s Talk About It”) is on to offer recommendations so you can stuff the right stockings.  And, ladies/vag-havers: how do you dispose of the jizz that comes a’tricking o

CLEAN MY HOUSE. A woman has been seeing her new boyfriend for a few months. He is kinkier than she’s ever been, but she’s willing to try his things. A dom friend of his has commanded him to clean her house as a service sub. Suddenly the caller feels jealous. Also, if he’s going to clean anything, it should be his own damn house.  A woman drunkenly made up a project she was working on in order to entice a former teacher of hers on LinkedIn. He responded right away, offering to help. Now what? Should she prolong the lie? Or come clean? On the Magnum, a man’s father has Peyronie’s disease. His penis curves painfully and he hasn’t had a comfortable erection in a year. Is there something that can be done? And is it hereditable? Dan brings on the comforting urologist, Dr. Ashley Winter to do a deep dive on this condition, which is more common than you might think.  “I no longer find you attractive.” Ouch! Those are the words we all dread, whether we have to say them or hear them. A gay caller now has to live with t

It’s a sexcess story...sort of! A woman tells us about how she relieved a 32 year-old man of his virginity. She recommends it! A woman had a wonderful hook-up with her neighbor. The next morning they made plans to have dinner that night, but she never heard from him again, in what turned out to be a literal ghosting. He died that day. Now she feels heartsick and guilty that she is grieving such a short relationship. Dan counsels her on the phone as only Dan can.  On the Magnum, it’s a “What You Got?” With Professor Lloyd Johnston who studies the epidemiology of drug use as well as AIDS. He and Dan discuss the state of HIV in the United States, and how sexual abstinence is on the rise among young men.  And, a woman’s 13 year old nephew might be gay. At a family gathering, she found his door locked, and when she knocked he emerged with an older teenaged friend of his. What were they doing in there? Should the caller tell his mom?  voicemail@savagelovecast.com    206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you

Happy Thanksgiving, and welcome to the homo takeover! We’re focusing on queers exclusively this week, so MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, breeders.  A newly sober lesbian wonders if it’s normal to get SUPER-HORNY when you quit booze. Or is she #blessed? How are you supposed to live your life when you are an ex-marine, macho, rural, hunter bro and also…bisexual? He knows he should be out, but worries he won’t be able to find women to date who would be cool with it.  Next, we crank the queer dial up to a billion with our guests Alaska & Willam from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Their podcast, Race Chaser and the Savage Lovecast were made to smash together in this unholy alliance. The queens answer some listeners' questions, and generally dish it up.  On the Magnum, some people of a certain age have a bad reaction to the word “queer.” This gay man was tormented by the word when he was growing up. Dan chats with him in a deep dive convo about the history of the words we use for “gay,” how they change over the years, and how LGBTQ folk