Dark Ages

The curtain is pulled back and our pants are down. Enjoy an entire season's worth of gaffes and stumbles, humbly presented for your listening delight! Thanks for listening! This reel features... Alan MooreBrandon KraemerBrittany MichelDana SwansonEli BanksJoshua SibleyLiz MackeStephen MankTaylor RoyChristina RomoDenise Farley-GardnerDan AlmasyZack Overton Sound design by Stephen Mank “(Theme From) Dark Ages” written and performed by J. Christopher Arrison and produced by Brent Busby Produced and edited by Liz Macke Series created and "directed" by Brandon Kraemer Subscribe to Dark Ages on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you find your podcasts. Follow us on Twitter at @DarkAgesShow for updates and behind the scene tidbits. Find full episodes and more at darkagesshow.com.

Forces clash. Tables turn. Things end. Episode 12 of DARK AGES features… Alan Moore as The Dark Lord, Edmund and the Cackling DemonsBrandon Kraemer as Nick, Security Camden, Goblin General, and Goblin EnriqueBrittany Michel as Josephine and Goblin SquelcholioDana Swanson as Malison, Drusila, Corporal Danno, and Goblin BooglerEli Banks as Abraxas, the Narrator, and Goblin Grok Joshua Sibley as Marwood, Security Cameron, the Singing Sword, Goblin Barstucks, and Goblin CrookleyLiz Macke as the Tour Golem and DeathStephen Mank as Cyril, Sean, the Night Janitor, and Goblin Orgluck Taylor Roy as "Todd"Christina Romo as StevieDenise Farley-Gardner as Chantal/AstridDan Almasy as Talon RiptonSketch Macquinor as Mayor KingZack Overton as the Afterburner Episode 12 was written by Brandon Kraemer Sound design by Stephen Mank Original music by Stephen Mank and Christopher Taylor “(Theme From) Dark Ages” written and performed by J. Christopher Arrison and produced by Brent Busby Special thanks to C

With the Tour Golem on lockdown and the mysteries piling up, the museum staff splits the party (oh, you fools) to seek answers before the other, heavily implied, world-ending boot drops. For their sake AND ours, let's just hope it's not already too late... Boy, that would be bad, wouldn't it? Episode 11 of DARK AGES features... Alan Moore as The Dark Lord and EdmundBrandon Kraemer as Nick, Security Camden, and Goblin GeneralBrittany Michel as Josephine and FlayDana Swanson as Malison and DrusilaEli Banks as Abraxas, the Narrator and Bellow Joshua Sibley as Marwood, Thunk, and Security CameronLiz Macke as the Tour Golem Stephen Mank as Cyril, Sean, and the Night Janitor Taylor Roy as ToddChristina Romo as StevieDense Farley-Gardner as Chantal/AstridDan Almasy as Talon RiptonSketch Macquinor as Mayor King Episode 11 was written by Brandon Kraemer Sound design by Stephen Mank Original music by Stephen Mank and Christopher Taylor “(Theme From) Dark Ages” written and performed by J. Christ

It has come to the attention of the management of the Rivercliffe Museum of Mostly Natural Histories that MOST of the staff knows absolutely NOTHING about basic world history. You can see the problem, surely. As such, we hope you will join the curator, Marwood, for a comprehensive and 100% mandatory refresher on everything important that has ever happened, magical or otherwise, since the dawn of time. Oh, and you may want to bring a pen and paper. There's always a test... Episode 10 of DARK AGES features... Dana Swanson as Malison, Vanthony, and Goblin BooglerJoshua Sibley as Marwood and the Singing SwordStephen Mank as the Tome, Vaniel, and the Mysterious Cult Leader Brittany Michel as Josephine and PeasantEli Banks as Abraxas, the Narrator and Goblin AttaboyAlan Moore as The Dark Lord and EdmundBrandon Kraemer as NickLiz Macke as the Tour Golem Episode 10 was written and by Brandon Kraemer, with additional writing by Liz Macke Sound design by Stephen Mank Original music by Stephen Mank an

Rivercliffe has been hit by a sub-zero cold snap, but you'd hardly notice in the museum. Staff tempers are flaring up and arguments are growing so heated that it's no wonder when Nick actually takes Abraxas's bait and agrees to fix the furnace. All he has to do is navigate the labyrinth of sub-basements...and figure out exactly why their mysterious furnace is on the fritz in the first place. Episode 9 of DARK AGES features... Brandon Kraemer as NickZack Overton as the AfterburnerEli Banks as the Narrator and AbraxasBrittany Michel as JosephineAlan Moore as the Dark Lord and EdmundDana Swanson as Malison and the Weird CultistJoshua Sibley as MarwoodTaylor Roy as ToddDenise Farley Gardner as "Chantal Cleansworthy"Stephen Mank as the Mysterious Cult LeaderLiz Macke as the Tour Golem Episode 9 was written and by Brandon Kraemer, with additional writing by Liz Macke Edited by Liz Macke Sound design by Stephen Mank Original music by Christopher Taylor and Stephen Mank “(Theme From) Dark Ag

After a series of divisive escapades, the staff of the Rivercliffe Museum of Mostly Natural Histories has (finally) gathered together to (mostly) unite towards a common goal: pass the city's annual thaumatic inspection! Everyone's grown so much since last year... Surely they'll pass with flying colors! Wait. Are those literal flying colors in the main hall? Why are the exhibits moving? Oh no. Episode 8 of DARK AGES features... Denise Farley Gardner as Chantal CleansworthyAlan Moore as the Dark Lord and EdmundTaylor Roy as Todd and the MannequinBrandon Kraemer as Nick, Goblin General, and Goblin HonkahonkaBrittany Michel as Josephine and Goblin SquelcholioDana Swanson as Malison and Goblin Boogler Eli Banks as Abraxas, the Narrator, and Goblin AttaboyJoshua Sibley as Marwood and Goblin CrookleyLiz Macke as the Tour Golem(s) and JudyStephen Mank as Shawn and Bessie Episode 8 was written and edited by Liz Macke, with additional writing by Brandon Kraemer Sound design by Stephen Mank Ori

Curator. Director. Manager. Marwood is an elf who takes his overlapping jobs very seriously—so seriously, in fact, that he rarely leaves his precious museum. He'd be content to stay forever, but an emergency back home might finally force him to leave its marble-columned embrace and face his family tree... or, more accurately, his family of trees. Episode 7 of DARK AGES features... Joshua Sibley as MarwoodDana Swanson as MalisonJennifer Barclay as Craftemis and Goblin AwkwadAlan Moore as The Dark Lord, Edmund, and King BackwoodStephen Mank as Tumbleweed and GruffmanBrittany Michel as Josephine, Bailiff, and Goblin Squelcholio Eli Banks as Abraxas, the Narrator, and HayseedBrandon Kraemer as Nick, Bumballahumbra, Crabgrass, Fox, Elven Guard, and Goblin Enriqueand Liz Macke as the Tour Golem Episode 7 was written by Brandon Kraemer and edited by Liz Macke Sound design by Stephen Mank Original music by Christopher Taylor and Stephen Mank “(Theme From) Dark Ages” written and performed by

It's a big day for the Rivercliffe Office of Unemployment! The dedicated Job Placement Sean and his assistant Sam have grown quite adept at helping Rivercliffe citizens land their dream gigs, but the enormous line of eager, resume-waggling goblins outside their front door presents a new, terrifying challenge for which no amount of mediocre coffee can prepare them. (Better brew an extra pot anyway...they're gonna need it.)   This very special bonus episode of DARK AGES features... Goblin Crookley, written and performed by Joshua Sibley Goblin Cankle, written and performed by Alan Moore Goblin Grok, written and performed by Eli Banks Goblin Montgomery Bankshire, written and performed by Alan Moore Stephen Mank as Sean Liz Macke as Sam Brandon Kraemer as Goblin Choka   Additional writing by Liz Macke Sound design by Stephen Mank Original music by Christopher Taylor and Stephen Mank "(Theme From) Dark Ages, Goblin Karaoke Ver." by Stephen Mank, featuring vocals by Liz Macke, Brandon Kraemer,

Nick's got problems, man. He's already cursed to be the museum janitor for the next several hundred years. A sudden stumble into a second, anatomically oriented curse means he might be up all night, figuratively and literally. Oh, and something unseen may or may not be stalking him through the museum's dark halls... and does anyone else hear a drill?   Episode 6 of DARK AGES features... Brandon Kraemer as Nick Brittany Michel as Josephine Eli Banks as Abraxas, the Narrator and Bellow Throckbed Joshua Sibley as Marwood and Thunk Rockbottom Stephen Mank as The Night Janitor Alan Moore as The Dark Lord and Edmund Dana Swanson as Malison and Liz Macke as the Tour Golem   Episode 6 was written and edited by Liz Macke, with additional writing by Brandon Kraemer Sound design by Stephen Mank Original music by Christopher Taylor and Stephen Mank “(Theme From) Dark Ages” written and performed by J. Christopher Arrison and produced by Brent Busby Story elements by Alan Moore, Christina Romo, D

Abraxas, the museum's cantankerous security agent, is so lost in his own war stories that he has a hard time knowing which era he's in. Good thing his least favorite holiday has arrived to yank him back to the present, right? He is several years late for an important appointment, after all... possibly that last one he'll ever make.   Episode 5 of DARK AGES features... Eli Banks as Abraxas and the Narrator Joshua Sibley as Marwood and Human Actor Dana Swanson as Malison and Dragon Actor Brittany Michel as Josephine Brandon Kraemer as Nick and Security Camden Alan Moore as The Dark Lord and Edmund Laurie Catherine Winkel as Dee Dee Sketch MacQuinor as Mayor King Stephen Mank as Townsman and Driver Danita Mank as Townswoman Sterling Mank as Child Actor 1 Rowan Mank as Child Actor 2 and Liz Macke as the Tour Golem   Episode 5 was written by Christina Romo, with additional writing by Brandon Kraemer Sound design by Stephen Mank Original music by Christopher Taylor and Stephen Mank

Josephine is perfectly content in the museum's menagerie, hidden among its terrifying roster of ravenous, killer beasts...but when an old flame rides into town on a VERY loud horse with a monstrous discovery in tow, this aspiring beastmaster must choose between stepping into the light or sinking even deeper into the darkness.   Episode 4 of DARK AGES features... Brittany Michel as Josephine Dan Almassy as Talon Riptorn Stephen Mank as Goblin Orgluck and the Arfabarkus Wrex Sketch MacQuinor as Mayor King Dana Swanson as Malison and The Cultist Brandon Kraemer as Nick and Goblin Honka Honka Alan Moore as The Dark Lord and Edmund Joshua Sibley as Marwood and Goblin Barstucks Eli Banks as Abraxas and the Narrator and Liz Macke as the Tour Golem   Episode 4 was written by Megan Fausti, with additional writing by Liz Macke and Brandon Kraemer Sound design by Stephen Mank Original music by Christopher Taylor and Stephen Mank “(Theme From) Dark Ages” written and performed by J. Christopher

The museum's lone legal representative, Malison Almagus, enjoys her reputation as the most unflappable member of the staff, but her self-assurance is about to be tested by the sudden return of a former rival with a decade-old vendetta...and a discomforting number of unicorns.   Episode 3 of DARK AGES features… Dana Swanson as Malison Laurie Catherine Winkel as Cornelia Rose Christina Romo as Stevie Tricks Brittany Michel as Josephine and Flay Brandon Kraemer as Nick, Unicorn Buff, and Muzak Demon Alan Moore as The Dark Lord and Edmund Joshua Sibley as Marwood Eli Banks as Abraxas, The Professor, Goblin Awflwafl, Ronnie, and the Narrator Stephen Mank as Demon King Nalbag’bazaar, Angry Man, and the Mysterious Hooded Figure and Liz Macke as the Tour Golem and Harmony   Sound design by Steven Mank Original music by Christopher Taylor and Stephen Mank “(Theme From) Dark Ages” written and performed by J. Christopher Arrison and produced by Brent Busby Story elements by Christina Romo,

Several weeks have passed since the museum invasion, yet the staff's head researcher, Edmund Nodd, still refuses to accept the new exhibit. His frustration and anger are making him even less tolerable than usual, but a mysterious seed is about to help him regain his focus... and discover the true root of his problems.   Episode 2 of DARK AGES features… Alan Moore as The Dark Lord and Edmund Brittany Michel as Josephine and "JoseVine" Joshua Sibley as Marwood Brandon Kraemer as Nick, Security Camden and Goblin Enrique Dana Swanson as Malison and Corporal Danno Eli Banks as Abraxas and the Narrator Stephen Mank as Cyril Di Scorsi and Liz Macke as the Tour Golem   Sound design by Steven Mank Original music by Christopher Taylor and Stephen Mank “(Theme From) Dark Ages” written and performed by J. Christopher Arrison and produced by Brent Busby Story elements by Christina Romo, Cody DeMatteis, Joshua Sibley, Liz Macke and Megan Fausti Produced by Liz Macke Written, created and directed

It's a big day for the Rivercliffe Museum of Mostly Natural Histories! The curator is ready and eager to lead new attendees on an exciting journey of education and discovery, but a powerful and unexpected visitor has arrived at the front gate with his own agenda... and a rather sizable army of goblins.   Episode 1 of DARK AGES features... Alan Moore as The Dark Lord and Edmund Joshua Sibley as Marwood and Goblins Chewins, Crookly and Claymore Brandon Kraemer as Nick, Dark Priest, and the Goblin General Brittany Michel as Josephine, Goblin Arghargh, Teacher and School Child B Dana Swanson as Malison, Goblins Brokit and Boogler, and School Child A Eli Banks as Abraxas, Goblin Soldier 1, Goblins Attaboy and Awflwafl, and the Narrator Liz Macke as the Tour Golem and Stage Producer Goblin Jeremy Seymour as Goblin Bumfinger Jalysa Leva as Goblin Soldier 2 Megan Fausti as Assistant Goblin and Steven Mank as Goblin Gornukk   Sound design by Steven Mank Original music by Christopher Taylor

High Fantasy. High culture. Low attendance. For the staff of the Rivercliffe Museum of Mostly Natural Histories, the only thing harder than finding new patrons is suffering each other.