Desks & Dayjobs

NPC Incorporated, Halloween Interlude: The Deer King Happy Halloween, Deer Listeners! See what I did there? Well, you’ll get it after you listen to this very spooky Halloween episode! In this thrilling installment of our annual Call of Cthulhu game, four ne’er-do-wells venture forth to check out a really fun renaissance faire! But is the Crystal Faire hiding a dark secret? What roams the woods around the park, and why does it seem like a part of the show, but also so terrifyingly real? Give into fantasy and follow the Path of Crooked Bones in this haunting tale from Spooky Chicago, 1975! In this episode Wart salutes Fang’s hot for Wa-Tina Stink saves their magic points And Scratch gets kicked in the shins a lot

The Green Team is scattered across the vastness of the Elder Brain Symposium! Separated from each other, they face the difficult decision of “continue with the escape plan” vs “see what these people are up to over here.” Guess which one most of them pick? As Dimetra and the newly statuesque Daniel try to exit the way they entered, June and Matt join some of the inner circle of Bernard’s Shield Society for some puzzles and memory games. Meanwhile, Quinn takes a trip to the secret lab of Dr. Orwing, who wants to teach them a new game… In this episode June meets pepper Matt puzzles Mr. Stubbs Dimetra tries a blunt distraction And Quinn plays some Nintendo products

It’s a Monday, somewhere in the depths of the Shell Corporation and our heroes are about to share their secrets with Mr. Holder in exchange for some mid-level blended scotch, dear listeners! Can they trust the menacing executive with their secrets? Eh, they’ll figure that out later! For now, it’s time to infiltrate the symposium and find Daniel amongst the tables of team building villains. Pour some whiskey in your mug and tune in for big reveals, annoying co-workers, and baby-girl energy. In this episode June really needs the Int. advantage Dimetra has an OnlyHands Quinn trades some game facts And Matt sees a pirate

Greetings dear listeners! We have some party members on vacation, so instead we thought we’d give you an audio taste of our new live show at Lincoln Lodge theater in Chicago! In this monthly show, four comedians put away their material and take up character sheets for an adventure set in and around the Wishing Well Tavern. Drinks will be had, quests will be accepted, and thirsts for adventure will be quenched! Enjoy our first ever show featuring Amy Do, David Carter, Caito Aase and Sage Huston, in which the “Apostrophe Bos” come to the aid of a big boy and take on his bigger bully! In this episode Izumi is our designated centaur Rakki’s got a gun Trick fulfills the bard’s obligation to flirt And Hera worships Mike

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes are taking the stairs, accompanied by new party member Bernard Holder. Can our heroes trust the sinister business guru to lead them into the symposium to find Dimetra’s brother? What secrets is Bernard keeping from them as they descend into the depths? The true mission of H & H Business Solutions? The location of a super-bland break room? His favorite band and album? Find out in this exciting, pigeon-filled descent into Shell Corp! In this episode Dimetra bargains for damage June invents the Fit Bit Matt needs you to get off his back Quinn serves up a BLP And Bernard invites the party into the Court of the Crimson King

Happy Weekend, dear listener! I hope you had a good Saturday and Sunday, I know our heroes did! Fresh off their success at The Genie Bottle, the Green Team grows in power, reconnecting with loved ones and facing off against sports rivals. Will the boost of confidence give them the tools (and weapons and armor) they need for the Elder Brain Symposium? Find out as our heroes head to the Host Building to see what’s going on at Shell Corp. And what happens when a malevolent force of management suddenly wants to help? In this episode Jane almost loses her mind Quing crafts a paper plate party Dim-Dim studies for the test And Mott gets a last minute use of his new class feature in

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes are ready to help The Crushed Skulls impress the Fey Wilde crowd at the Genie Bottle. Can they help a rowdy punk band impress a synth pop audience, or will Fang and the boys be unable to win over these skeptical spectators? Get ready to dance, dodge pyrotechnics, and remember how basses work in this thrilling installment. Don’t forget to stretch for a punk show, folks! In this episode Matt introduces the extended Meat Family Universe Quinn turns into a spider June basically crowd surfs And Dimetra gets as spicy as she thinks she can be

Greetings, listeners! The Green Team is spread across the Genie’s Bottle bar like spilled chips on a green room craft services table! Quinn and Dimetra make their way to the dance floor to generate some buzz for their co-workers’ band while June wanders the mirrored hall/bathroom. Meanwhile, Uncle and Wife locate Barry the Flirt to retrieve their lost names. Can the team whip up the crowd’s enthusiasm for punk music at a pop show? Will Uncle be able to solve Barry’s latest fiendish boyfriend riddle? Find out in this exciting episode! In this episode Dimetra leaves Jeff Foxworthy at the altar June loses a pissing contest Quinn goes on a wig search Matt has coconut-head disease Maria whistles dryly And we take some time to check our star charts

Greetings, listener! Our heroes have been reluctantly crowned Team of the Week, but that’s a problem for another day! For now they just need to make some cat-themed headwear and make their way to The Genie Bottle, a venue that promises a night of music, drinks, and hopefully some answers. Can our heroes locate Barry the Flirt inside the surprisingly spacious, black-light-lit bar? Wait, who is that at the bar? She looks familiar! In this episode Dimetra checks out the latest Economancer Quinn leaves no crumbs on their hats June rolls snake-nines Uncle experiences the Pina Colada song in real life And everyone wants to be a tiefling

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes are back from lunch and ready to work. Jumping on their jobs, the Green Team makes quick work of their afternoon tasks, leaving some time to design hats for punks, seek out creepy business books, and take turns being the baby. But as the day draws to a close, the heroes are drawn to the lair of Mr. Lowe, where the sinister boss has a game he’d like to play... In this episode Uncle has some picklebacks and wifey meat Dimetra LOVES SOOODA! June spells out her strategy Quinn rolls a sequin check And we pitch NPC Babies

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes are back, and are hungry for lunch! Leaving behind the warehouse (and one of their names), they head to Blue Star Hotdogs for some restorative pop and onion rings. Will these nourishing noshes help them power through the day (and remind them of their names)? Or will sugar and grease only make the heroes feel and smell worse? Find out in this exciting episode! In this episode Uncle Lubyss remembers he’s a wife guy June tastes corporate lingo Demetra has a youth crisis And Quinn says a swear

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes have volunteered to help clean up after the collapse of shelves and firing of John Boneshatter, and now have to deal with doing a little heavy lifting while exhausted. Can they figure out how to wake up and clean up? Will the wreckage of the shelves reveal any lessons about teamwork, or will they uncover a possibly sinister plot? Will they triumph in time for lunch, or get stuck cleaning up someone else’s mess? Find out in this exciting episode of coffee, gloves, and sing-a-longs that’ll have you asking, “where’s the beep!?” In this episode Quinn falls into a glove trap Dimetra hits the slay button June doesn’t mean to be threatening Uncle offers to kill again And everyone get hungry for snowballs

Greetings, dear listeners! As Friday begins, our heroes rise, exhausted from a late night out. After getting ready with some sandwich making and light crafts, our heroes are back in the NPC Inc warehouse, tired but determined to have a good day. When an accident rocks the sleepy morning, are our heroes ready to jump in and help? And as one sinister plan comes to fruition, does that mean more are on the way? Tune in and toss a coin to see if June stinks, it’s Friday! In this episode June lets a 20 ride Dimetra blows the dust off her mind palace Quinn skips, carefully And Matt had to do his own sandwich

Greetings, dear listener! Our heroes are searching for June in the crowded Lair bar, and only one thing stands in their way...a door. Can they solve the riddle of the door? Or will they stand outside the Green Room, smashing their butts against the door while chanting? Well, probably that for a little bit, but after that it’s to the rescue of June, who’s trying to find out the story of what happened to the old Green Team from its old leader, a mysterious guitarist who can’t remember what his job was before being swept up by Faye Wilde’s band. Will our heroes discover the truth? Find out, and be ready to cross off squares on your “hole bingo” card! In This Episode Matt jangles his Ki’s over his head June picks Brother Will’s memory Dimetra enters her ass mind palace Quinn strikes a pose And the party throws it back on the door

The work day is finally over, dear listeners, but if you think Thursday is done with our heroes, think again! After heading to the local dive for a Thirsty Thursday drink, the Green Team finds themselves in the midst of the loyal fans of pop-star Fay Wilde! As Quinn and Matt chat hats with Fang and Dimetra hears about Alan’s machinations, June is led from the path by a charming consort of the chart-topping Wilde. What awaits June in the Green Room Court? In this episode Quinn is daddy now Matt takes waving lessons June rings some Belles Dimetra has two devils And Fang & the boys get dressed up

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes are wrapping up their day and Matt and Dimetra have summoned Queen Marta’s dread second in command, the dreaded Tonia. They quickly realize this tall haired terror is as sharply critical as she is long-winded. Can they escape the warehouse with the help of June, Quinn and gentle shelver Peter? Get ready to dodge boxes and climb through some holes on a quest to make it to after-work drinks! In this episode Quinn is always counting Dimetra’s got skin in the game (and on the floor) Matt uses his karate chop action June belts from the ballpark And Peter is very brave

Greetings, dear listener! It’s lunchtime for our heroes, so it’s time to grab a pop and rest up for an afternoon in the currently-ominous warehouse. Can our heroes navigate the dark vibe in the warehouse and find what they need to ship? Or will they be drawn into the shippers’ web of self-evaluation and sacrifice? Find out as how our heroes ship, stealth, and sing their way into Thursday afternoon! In this episode Quinn brings a cookie through a rainstorm June hits dirty thirty Matt hits dirty thirty one And Dimetra sings Le Wiz

Greetings listeners! As our heroes head to lunch, a conversation (battle) breaks out between June and Quinn. As the soup chat heats up, Matt and Dimetra find their way into the mix for a show down between the Green Team workers! Will they work out things between them in time to enjoy lunch? Will the bad vibe continue into the afternoon? Find out in this exciting episode and also find out which King of the Hill characters our PCs are! In This Episode Matt takes the dad route Dimetra has wet bones June is going to John Wick 3 somebody Quinn is bolstered by your kindness! And Colin Farrell meets Mothra

Greetings, dear listeners! Welcome to 2023/Thursday! Our heroes rise on this new day to find the weather (and the vibe at work) a little dreary. Can they overcome wet clothes, cursed hats, and ominous co-workers to tackle this new day? I sure hope so! Otherwise this year, I mean day, will be ruined! In this Episode Matt is Unbreakable Quinn has +0 goggles Dimetra breaks the hat mold And June breaks the hat’s hold

Ho Ho Ho, dear listeners! It’s the holiday season in Fantasy Chicago and all the kids want one thing: Malibu Gerbbi. With time running out, Matt Meat is at the Merrowind Mall to meet up with his frenemy Ray Mei for a shot at the elusive toy. When Ray introduces a second desperate dad to the quest, Matt and his new drinking buddy Jay must make their way across the mall to a busy toy store where a sneaky figure claims to have the goods. Can they get the gifts they need? Or will they have to fight, run and even fly to make their holiday dreams come true? In this Holiday Episode Matt is ready for tricky mouth stuff And Jay is ’bout to start drinkin’ And the Dads consider a Mansterpiece