Jordan, Jesse Go!

Dana Gould (Stan Against Evil, The Dana Gould Hour) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of why car dealerships always have the worst coffee, Dana's attempt to recreate the childhood that he wished he had, and how each of their dads fell short on their birthdays. Plus, Dana has an idea for how robot babies can solve the problem of people texting while driving.

Kate Willett (The Comedy Lineup on Netflix) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the ghost town vibe of current malls, the epic house meetings that occurred at the intentional community centered around polyamory that kate lived in in NYC, and the effects of widespread pornography availability on kids' sexual expectations.

Alison Becker (Parks and Recreation, Bubble, other stuff) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the international school in Switzerland where Alison went to high school with kids of oil magnates and oligarchs, the uncomfortable time Jordan and his family had during the extended cunnilingus scene in Mary Queen of Scots when they saw it together over the holidays, and the tricky task of buying your mom a gift and what everyone got their moms for Christmas.   Get your SF Sketchfest tickets now! • Judge John Hodgman is on Friday at 7pm at the Castro Theatre! • Bubble is on Friday at 10:30pm at Cobb's Comedy Club! • Jordan, Jesse, Go! is on Sunday at 1pm at The Punchline! (Now announcing TONY HALE and JOHN RODERICK as guests!) If you come to all three shows, you have the chance to win the ACTUAL "Destroy the West" robot from the show. AND if you are in the bay area and play an instrument and can come to the JJGo show on Sunday, please get in touch with us! jjgo@maximumfun.org

Paula Poundstone (Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Paula's rain soaked ping pong party, the potentially disturbing short story Jesse's son's dictated recently, and the proper use of a bathroom hand mirror. Plus, the people have spoken and we reveal what they chose as the inspirational slogan for 2019. Get your 2019 Inspirational Slogan T-Shirt here!

Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger (Doughboys, I Love You America, Love,) join Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the three distinct phases of the frozen yogurt craze that has swept America for the last two decades, the idea that really hard, poorly designed video games based on popular franchises hurt children's self esteem in the 80's and 90's, and the importance of context when discussing swimming prowess or showering with others. Plus, everyone brainstorms some ideas for 2019 slogans that will get us pumped up to take on the new year. Make sure to vote for your favorite!   And come see Bubble and JJGo and The Doughboys at SF Sketchfest!  

Chelsea Davison (Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, @Midnight) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of how even though Jesse is something of a dairy queen he can't drink a glass of milk on its own, Chelsea's friend's unbelievable hobby of "mermaiding," everyone's first cartoon crush, and the beautiful Sonic poem that Jordan saw on a bulletin board at a sandwich shop.

Brendan Hay (Harvey Street Kids, Dawn of the Croods) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the european soccer player villain in Cliffhanger who kicks people off the mountain, Brendan's desire to expand the roster of his new Netflix show based on Harvey Street characters to Casper, Richie Rich, and ultimately Baby Huey, and Jesse's deconstruction of the song Word Up by Cameo and how it cannot be about anything but a disfigured penis. Plus, Jordan asks an important question: is the culture more horny for Santa than usual this year?

Open Mike Eagle (Tights and Fights, What Happens When I Try to Relax album) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Mike's popularity on the Hip Hop Heads Reddit despite his lack of face tattoos, why Jesse went big and bought a signature Ricky Henderson batting glove on eBay, and how Mike found himself in an actual professional wrestling match after a Twitter feud with a rapping wrestler.

Glen Weldon (Pop Culture Happy Hour, The Caped Crusade Book) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the specific pain of Glen felt taking phycology for his marine biology degree as someone who is color blind, the time Jordan had a fancy afternoon of expensive olive oil tasting but ended up feeling really greasy, and the detailed back stories of the porn actors who work out at Glen's gym. Plus, Jordan gets Glen to weigh in on his new signature segment, "Which Avatar sequel are you most excited about?"

Helen Zaltzman (Answer Me This!, The Allusionist) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the overpriced poo museum (poo-seum) that Helen visited in New Zealand that didn't live up to it's theme, the Sega Genesis games that Jesse has trouble resisting at thrift stores, the lack of bedside manner in Helen's British healthcare providers, and Jordan's karaoke strategy for someone who is bad at karaoke.

Freddie Wong (RocketJump YouTube, Storybreak podcast) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the food porn that imprinted on them as children like The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food, the Halloween wealth gap that has changed the way children in 2018 trick or treat, Jordan’s misguided attempt to learn about CBD oil at his local weed shop and Freddie's persistent but unsuccessful attempts to get a Dairy Queen to to make him a discontinued Crunch Bar Blizzard with Crunch Bars he brings in from another establishment. Plus, Jordan unveils a new signature pop culture segment. We love this stuff!   

Travis McElroy joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Travis's new fancy (and possibly deadly) slippers he got for his trip to the Magic Castle and how it adds to his fall aesthetic of "Rogue Wizard," the time Travis's dad was frozen into a block of ice as a promotion for a car dealership, and a new memory that Jordan recently unearthed about his dad. Plus, everyone nominates someone they'd like to see as a non-canonical Doctor Who and then pinpoints the most prestigious or historic place they've taken a dump.

Chris Gethard joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the crazy magazine Chris used to write for hunting down supernatural stories in New Jersey, the recent commercial Jordan saw that sold him on cooking up some Spam, the emotional conversations Chris has had with his father about his career through the years, and the time Chris frustrated a dominatrix with his notoriously small and inverted nipples. Chris's new book, Lose Well, is out now!

Virginia Jones joins Jordan and Jesse on this special sporktacular episode to talk about the horrifying audition notices she gets that are very specific about their pubic hair requirements, the truly terrifying crime-robbing that Jordan experienced this week and how it would be dramatically different if it happened last week, and the kaiju-centric museum exhibit that saved Jesse's weekend outing with his daughter.  Plus, Virginia dazzles everyone with her mathematical Dracula facts and a trick to foil vampires with a handful of rice.

David Malki!, creator of the webcomic Wondermark, joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of his dramatic mid-business foot injury, the phantom kim chee fried rice stink cloud following Jordan around, and the gorgeous note that a mail carrier found in a mailbox on the job. Plus, Jesse attempts some home repairs with juicy results. Action Item: Postal workers, call in with your stories! 206-984-4FUN!

Actor, writer, and podcaster Janet Varney joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the unusual middle ground that Werther's Original hard candy occupies, Jordan's true fear around visiting the Warner Brother's Halloween haunt this year, the opulent mcmansion Janet visited to consult a psychic medium, and the bodily fluid challenge Jordan faced on his recent whirlwind podcast promotional tour. Plus, Janet has a new show called Fortune Rookie on IFC! Action Item: Postal workers call in with your stories! 206-984-4FUN

Comedian David Gborie joins Jordan and Jesse for an exploration of songs that car horns can honk out, a detailed character rendering of David's garage grandpa neighbor Kyle, and a debate over whether or not Jordan should realize his childhood dream by buying a full-sized Ms. Pac Man arcade cabinet. 

Writer and podcaster Elizabeth Laime joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the special Daddy's Day Out when Jesse took his kids to the roller rink, the magical Catherine Keener-esque teacher who somehow manages to get Jesse's son to clean up, and the obnoxious toy robot that is ruining Jesse's life. Plus, Elizabeth busts out her dynamic pterodactyl impression and Jordan creates a new Ernest movie.

Dan McCoy and Elliott Kalan from the Max Fun podcast The Flop House join Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of graham crackers and other naughty breakfasts, Dan's identity as a baker in Jon Stewart's eyes, and the best songs written specifically for a movie.  Plus, Jesse has some complicated questions about gray beard hairs, Elliott runs down a list of funny things his son has said recently, and Jordan describes his visit to a restaurant owned by a cult. 

Kevin Porter and Caroline Ely from the podcast Good Christian Fun join Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of how many cigarettes everyone has smoked, Caroline's top breads, and the catchiness of a Christian pop punk anthem about abstinence. Plus, a cool ass baby shows up to spit on the Hippocratic Oath, and everyone does their best to punch up an orgy.