Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast

This week on MYTH, it’s time to ruin another Disney classic with a peek behind the scenes.  This is the first episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast. You’ll learn that Disney skipped over an absurd amount of backstory, that finders keepers doesn’t apply to real estate, and that you should really have homeowners insurance.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll discover why you shouldn’t trust that oddly friendly horse you met in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere.

This week on MYTH, it’s off to jolly old England for a classical tale of knights and dragons.  You’ll see that you should never kidnap a cat, that even Satan has favorite pets, and that cleverness can keep you out of Hell.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the ghostly apparition of a long dead army.

This week on MYTH, we’ll travel to ancient Japan.  You’ll learn that your sibling rivalry could be a lot worse, that trickery is always the best solution, and that even the sun sometimes needs a good pout.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn why you should never let a pig run between your legs.

This week on MYTH, it’s time for an island vacation.  You’ll learn that cucumbers can make babies, that the Green Giant is a terrible mascot, and that spicy food can be a lifesaver.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a Balinese floating head monster that hunts babies.

This week on MYTH, it’s time for you to unwrap our holiday gift to you because it’s our annual winter holiday special.  You’ll see that brave little girls make the best heroes, that squirrel tails will make you sneeze, and that even Father Christmas has to worry about worker uprisings.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll discover why you really, really want a new pair of socks for Christmas.

This week on MYTH, we’re going to vacation in sunny Mexico.  You’ll hear me struggle with yet more intimidatingly difficult names, you’ll learn that hummingbirds are badasses, and you’ll discover that a flaming snake-spear might be the most metal god weapon ever.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll discover why you should never trust a creepy dude who serenades random women by moonlight.

This week on MYTH, we’re off to the African savannah for a lion hunt.  You’ll learn that just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong, that using children as bait is a fantastic idea, and that lions aren’t supposed to own cows.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll go under the sea to meet an ancient African mermaid who’s not nearly as friendly as Ariel.

This week on MYTH, we’ll catch a magic carpet ride for some ancient Persian cities, some of which still exist.  You’ll learn that even the ancients had filters on their pictures, that it’s better to be lucky than good, and that sometimes the characters in old stories can actually be good people.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s the demonic duo that wants to lasso your soul for being naughty.

For anyone who couldn't attend, I've finally had time to upload the audio from the Mythology in Popular Culture panel at DragonCon 2018.  This was recorded live, so I apologize for any issues.

This week on MYTH, we’re headed down to Tennessee for a real life ghost story.  You’ll see that just because a poltergeist is hellbent on your death, that doesn’t mean it can’t also be helpful, that ghosts can get wasted, and that you should never get into bed with the ghost of a witch.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll drive over to West Virginia to meet the mysterious flying monster that might just be trying to warn you about shoddy design.

This week on MYTH, we’re headed to Wales for a little Disney inspiration.  You’ll learn that you can’t out magic a witch, that it’s hard to find good help, and that bards can be badasses.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn that not all doggos are friendly.

This week on MYTH, it’s part three of our three part, lighthearted series on trickster animals.  You’ll learn that your pet just isn’t pulling it’s weight, that lying will get you anything you want, and that being rich is better than being smart.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see that even a magical talking cat isn’t the most dangerous cat-related monster hanging around Italy.

This week on MYTH, it’s part two of our three part, lighthearted series on trickster animals.  You’ll discover rabbits are gullible, but not as gullible as crocodiles, that bathing can be painful, and that you should always be nice to forest creatures.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the invisible rodents who will cut you to pieces, but mostly heal you up after.

This week on MYTH, we’ll be meeting the grinning trickster god of the First Peoples.  You’ll see that being a poser has always been a bad thing, that you shouldn’t break your leg because you’re told to, and that people were almost immortal (which is a bad thing).   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn that a famous Batman villain used to be a Plains tribe monster.

This week on MYTH, it’s finally time for the thrilling conclusion.  You’ll see that the Greeks are sore winners, that happy endings are rare, and that fan fiction is older than you thought.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see how blood from a severed penis and the curse of the House of Atreus are related. This is the fifteenth and final episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, we’re going to dive into the messy aftermath of regicide.  You’ll learn that even gods have favorites, that beautiful people are just more trustworthy (even when they’re not), and that Achilles has a weird sense of honor.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll find out what happens when you cross a cow and a snake (and it isn’t ground beef).  This is the fourteenth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, it’s time to cue up The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly because we’re gonna have an old-fashioned showdown.  You’ll learn that Hector should have taken a page out of Forrest Gump’s book, that not even death can keep your friends from busting your balls, and that steel testicles are only the second-worst vehicle ornament.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s a beautiful, eyeless snake witch who might just drag you to hell.  This is the thirteenth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, we’re finally going to see what all the fuss has been about.  You’ll discover that rivers can be petulant, that Achilles is pretty good with a one-liner, and that you should never bring a bow to a spear fight.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s a three for one sale on witches.  This is the twelfth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, Achilles is finally going to do some soul searching (and maybe a little maturing).  You’ll learn that Mr. Ed used to belong to Achilles, that god magic gets used on weird things, and that Achilles could really use a Snickers.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll see how being a bad person and a worse husband can lead to monsters.  This is the eleventh episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, some very bad things are about to go down.  You’ll discover that some horses can’t be tamed, that tug of war can be hell, and that nothing is as badass as a costume change.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see why you should never cut down a tree.   This is the tenth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.