Let's Parent On Purpose

What do you do when fear grips you up in the middle of the night?  Pastor Louie Giglio joins me today for a transparent conversation on anxiety, depression, and worry. He shares his personal struggles, research on real and imagined fears, and most importantly, the pathway to peace through Jesus. We talk about our own seasons of anxiety and how Jesus gives us worship as a tool to combat the doubts in the night. Finally, Louie shares about the confidence we can have in Jesus to carry our worries, since he has already carried our sin.  Louie Giglio is Pastor of Passion City Church and Original Visionary of the Passion movement, which exists to call a generation to leverage their lives for the fame of Jesus. Since 1997, Passion Conferences has gathered collegiate-aged young people in events across the US and around the world. Most recently, Passion 2022 hosted 55,000 students and leaders. Louie is the national-bestselling author of over a dozen books including his newest release, Winning the War on Worry. An Atla

Today we are celebrating episode 300 of Let’s Parent on Purpose! I am joined today by both of my sons, Elijah and Micah Holland. The boys share what it was like to go through leukemia, relapse, and then bone marrow transplant together. We talk about worries, struggles, and the picture of Christ we find in bone marrow transplant. Additionally I share about the future of Let’s Parent on Purpose, including the beginning of the 127 Project to grow the outreach of Let’s Parent on Purpose and to take care of orphans. On this day of celebration, I want to say a big Thank You to every listener, supporter, and guest I’ve spent time with in the last 300 episodes. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, and we are all better with intentional investment in our marriage, parenting, and walk with Jesus. Thanks for sticking around for the first 300, I look forward to the next 300!   Elijah and Micah Holland are the sons of Jay and Emily Holland. In 2014 Elijah was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. After 3.5 years

This is the second half of my conversation with Dan Seaborn on how to parent a child who is identifying as a different gender or sexuality. Be sure to first listen to episode 298 What if Your Children Identify With a Different Gender or Sexuality?  In this half of the discussion, we talk the term “Super-Straight” as well as the peer pressure that labels traditional sexual ethics as toxic. Dan encourages parents away from humiliation and towards humility as we process our children’s struggles. We discuss trusted resources for counseling if your child has more than a passing interest or questions. And finally Dan encourages us in how healing is not about turning our orientation towards heterosexuality, but in finding our orientation with who Christ made us to be. Be sure to share this episode with moms and dads you know are struggling with this topic!   Dan Seaborn, M.A., is the founder and president of Winning At Home, an organization that supports marriages and families. As an author, speaker, and leader of t

Culture continues to saturate our children with messages on gender and sexuality. Parents should expect their children to come to them with questions about these topics. At some point, there’s a reasonable likelihood your child might approach you confused or identifying as a different gender or sexuality. What are you going to do?  In the first half of a two part conversation with author and counselor Dan Seaborn, we talk about how to react to that first revelation. Dan reminds us how to keep perspective rather than panic, and how we can even celebrate the fact that our kids are even willing to talk to us. We discuss the way God has redeemed our own sexual sins. He speaks encouragement (from personal experience) for parents who are grieving wayward children. Dan also addresses the realities of the different culture our children live in compared to our child.   Dan Seaborn, M.A., is the founder and president of Winning At Home, an organization that supports marriages and families. As an author, speaker, and le

There is no way to completely shelter your children from the cultural campaign on gender identity and sexuality. Dr. Sean McDowell shares how we can equip ourselves to walk alongside our children, asking questions, and teaching them how to have loving, biblical worldview in their schools and sports teams.   Dr. Sean McDowell is a gifted communicator with a passion for equipping the church, and in particular young people, to make the case for the Christian faith. He connects with audiences in a tangible way through humor and stories while imparting hard evidence and logical support for viewing all areas of life through a Biblical worldview. Sean is an Associate Professor in the Christian Apologetics program at Talbot School of Theology, Biola University. Sean’s most recent book is called A Rebel’s manifesto: Choosing Truth, Real Justice, & Love amid the Noise of Today’s World.   Resources Mentioned: Sean’s Website: www.seanmcdowell.org A Rebel’s Manifesto: https://seanmcdowell.org/item/a-rebels-manifesto E

How does a child know when they are accepted as an adult? In our modern world, young people are often left to figure this out on their own. Many never do. I’m joined by author Steven Arms, who shares with me the family Rite of Passage tradition he experienced at 13 years old to welcome his as an adult member of his family. We discuss the importance of affirming manhood and womanhood, the need for a tribe of mentors, as well as the specifics of how to create a Rite of Passage experience for a young man. I also share how our church affirms our graduates with a Rite of Passage Ceremony their senior year.   Steven Arms is a co-author of the book Milestone to Manhood: A Christian Rite of Passage to Help Your 13-Year-Old Son Make the Leap from Boyhood to Manhood. In the book, Steven shares his firsthand experience of his Rite of Passage weekend and reflects on how it shaped him into the man that he is today. Steven lives in Portland, Oregon, with his wife, Emily, and is the proud father of two young children.   Res

Six years ago I started a simple habit of writing five lines in a daily journal. Today I share six insights I have from this practice as I try to encourage you to develop this four minute habit. Listen to me explain how I learned: 1. God is faithful 2. My seasons of discontent are truly seasonal 3. Ingrained habits take very little willpower 4. Many of my plans don’t work out. Actually, most don’t. 5. My wife just keeps getting more awesome. 6. It’s only through journaling daily did I to discover some of the sneaky blessings of God in my life.   Resources Mentioned: The Levenger 5-year journal: https://amzn.to/3TfRlJI Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/ support/  

There is a general principle that states that 70% of our learning comes from experience, 20% from the people in our lives, and 10% from formalized instruction and book education. Today I reflect on how these truths might impact the way we parent and approach spiritual development in our households and churches.   Resources Mentioned: What is the 70 20 10 Model in Learning and Development? https://elearningindustry.com/70-20-10-model-learning-and-development Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Whether you are surviving a middle school lunch room or trying to navigate the adult relationships in your life, there will always be mean people. Based on an excellent sermon on the same topic from Andy Stanley at North Point Church, I walk through insights about getting even vs. giving love. We look at how attempting to get even almost cost David his future kingdom. Finally we consider the following set of questions to help us deal with the mean people in our lives: Do you want to be even with someone you don’t even like? How much control are you giving this person in your head? When this is nothing more than a story to tell, what story do you want to tell? What would it look like to return good for for? Is Jesus your king… really?   Resources Mentioned: North Point Church: Mean People and What to do about them: https://bit.ly/3c24UeT  Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets by Andy Stanley: https://amzn.to/3AtzUhq Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y Support Let’s Parent on Purp

Great marriages don’t happen without intentional work. There’s a saying: “your habits will determine the direction and quality of your life.” In the same way, your marriage habits will determine the direction and quality of your marriage. As we wrap up our Building Blocks for a Healthy Marriage series, Nathan and Amy Oliver share with us five powerful habits to practice for a healthy marriage. We will learn the power of 10 Minutes of check-in each day A weekly date night 3 Consecutive nights away each year Regular family business meetings Developing a Care List so your spouse knows how to best show you love Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida. They specialize in marriage/family therapy, teens/young adults, substance addiction, depression, and anxiety. The Olivers are individually available for virtual counseling sessions. To find out more visit www.olivercounselling.com   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Thin

Some couples naturally communicate very well with one another. But for most, it’s a learned skill. If we are not intentional with our communication, one day we might wake up next to someone we not longer know nor care to know. Marriage therapists Nathan and Amy Oliver equip us today with key skills to enhance our marriage through better communication. We talk about the primary purpose of communication (connection vs. information collection). The Oliver’s discuss the importance of nonverbal communication, the dangers of trying to communicate through text, and ways to help your spouse feel validated even if you don’t agree with them. These simple skills will help you stay invested in your spouse as you each change from the early years, through the parenting years, into a thriving marriage as empty nesters.   Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida. They specialize in marriage/family therapy, teens/young adults, substanc

Every marriage has conflict. It’s how you handle the conflict that determines the direction and quality of your marriage. My guests Nathan and Amy Oliver outline specific steps you can incorporate into your turbulent issues to end more connected than when you began. You’ll learn the power of a time out in the midst of a heated discussion. You’ll also be equipped with steps to take during and after the time out to ensure you win the person, not the argument.   These steps include: - Asking questions to regain perspective: Who is this person? What am I feeling right now? What does he or she feel in me? Breathing and regaining control of your “logic brain” from your “emotional brain” Learning to empathetically restate your spouse’s position even if you don’t agree with it.   Additionally, you’ll discover the emotional, physical, and sexual benefits of conflict resolution and how to not live in fear of the next argument.   Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant F

This is the first of a four part series on building blocks for a healthy marriage. Before getting into communication and conflict techniques, it’s important to remember that a healthy marriage must have a solid foundation. Today I share three vital pillars for every marriage to thrive in a spiritually broken world. As you listen, consider whether your marriage is supported by: 1) a regular, personal spiritual pursuit of Jesus Christ and His will, 2) spiritually connective practices with your spouse, and 3) an accountable and encouraging faith community.    Helpful questions to ask yourself:   Am I setting aside regular, personal time with Jesus? Do I read His word with a heart to see God, know his will, and follow it? Do I regularly pray for and with my spouse? Does my pursuit of worship, study, and serving enrich my spouse’s walk with Jesus? Do I have a spiritual community that encourages me in my walk and calls me to accountability if I am straying or mistreating my spouse?   Resources Mentioned: Sign up

A few years ago I began to craft my ideal week. While it never goes according to plan, the practice has radically increased my fruitfulness and decreased my stress. Today I share with you the benefits of crafting your ideal work week as well as the process for creating your own.   Scheduling Your Ideal Work Week:   First off, before beginning your schedule, take a few minutes to write out your long term goals for a fruitful and joy filled life.   For me those would include:   An ever-growing relationship with Jesus A body that is functional and not in chronic pain A mind that stays curious and sharp A deepening love and joy in my life and partnership with my wife Intentional time with my children and friends Joyful life with the church Faithful and fruitful work   Next, write out a Monday-Sunday calendar. Break up the day into these 6 sections: Early Morning, Late Morning, Early Afternoon, Late Afternoon, Early Evening, Late Evening.   Now, fill-in the absolute fixed points of your schedule that you don’t con

I’m frequently asked about which Bible Translation is best for children or teens. Today I share an overview of the differences between translations as well as thoughts on what Bible might be best for your child. Additionally I share a couple of “pre-Bible introductory resources”. I discuss why it’s important to consider what translation your church regularly uses as well as any special reading difficulties your child may have.   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y The Jesus Storybook Bible: https://amzn.to/3xUNiZu The Action Bible: https://amzn.to/3OBsnlr Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Lisa Appelo went to bed married one night and woke up a widow and single mom to seven children the next morning. Her story of navigating raw, tender grief stands as a testimony that—regardless of your circumstances—life can be good again after it falls apart. We talk about the experience of losing her husband dan, the process of navigating her own grief, as well as the individual paths of grieving each of her children walked. Most importantly, we celebrate how Jesus can bring a depth and richness to our joy even if we’ve experienced traumatic loss.   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y   Life Can Be Good Again: Putting Your World Back Together After It Falls Apart by Lisa Appelo: https://lisaappelo.com/lifecanbegoodagain/ LisaAppelo.com IG: @lisaappelo FB: @LisaAppelo   Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/ support/

The teenage years can feel incredibly unstable for both parents and adolescents. Today I share three pillars that can help your teen have a stable self concept even as their bodies, brains, and friends keep changing. Learn how important it is for your teen to know “I’m loved,” “I’ve got what it takes,” and “I can take responsibility”. As moms and dads, our interactions with our teens will either enhance or diminish each of these messages.   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood: https://amzn.to/3xi6uA8 Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/ support/  

The teenage years are a time of radical change. But it’s not just our teenagers who must go through change. Parenting styles and roles rapidly evolve as our children move closer to adulthood. In this episode I discuss three different types of parenting styles. We review why the drill sergeant and the helicopter parent fail to prepare our teens for adulthood. Instead, we should aim to become consultants that empower our teens with greater responsibility and ownership of their actions. If this topic is helpful to you, I highly recommend you check out Parenting Teens with Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y I discussed this topic in more detail in a very early episode of Let’s Parent on Purpose: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2017/02/20/lpop-9-whatsyour-parenting-style/ Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood: https://amzn.to/3xi6uA8 Support Let’s Parent on Purpos

This is last episode in a four part series to help parents and teens improve their communication and reduce conflict. It’s adapted from a parent/teen retreat and includes small group questions you help you process the material as a family. Conflict increases when there is no compelling purpose or mission. Today we begin to re-vision your family as a multigenerational team on mission for the Lord. I share a couple actionable steps for helping your family discover your identity, mission, and strategy.   Key Points: 1. Our culture looks at families as springboards for individual success. We need to begin to view our family as a multigenerational team on mission. 2. Generations are not stuck. It only takes one generation in a family to turn to Jesus to start a new legacy. 3. A team needs an identity, a purpose, and a strategy. 4. To shape your family identity, develop a family mission statement. • As an example, here’s my family’s mission statement: God has blessed us with relationships, resources, and responsibi

This is part three of a four part series to help parents and teens improve their communication and reduce conflict. It’s adapted from a parent/teen retreat and includes small group questions you help you process the material as a family. Every family is going to have conflict. We need a better conflict toolbox to allow us to win the person and not the argument. Today we look at principles from Proverbs as well as Chris Voss’ book Never Split the Difference: Communicating Like Your Life Depends on it. I also share some of the most helpful marriage counseling advice I’ve ever been given.   Key Points:
 1. You’re going to have disagreements and conflict. You need a better conflict toolbox. 2. The vast majority of conflict work is done before the conflict. Refill the love bank! 3. People want to be understood and appreciated. 4. Tools for conflict: • Be a Mirror - Active listening and reflecting • Accusation Audit - Admit the ugly truth and state your worst case • Tactical Empathy - State their case and feeli