Let's Parent On Purpose

We invest in our retirement. We invest in our physical fitness. We invest in our caffeine habit. Why wouldn’t we invest in our family relationships?  My friend Brian Neal of True Course Counseling joins me today to talk about the benefits of pastoral and professional counseling, the different ways counseling can help a family get “unstuck”, and how counseling can help a healthy family reach the next level. We also talk about common conflict issues and tools you can use for resolution before you ever seek extra help. Thanks you to my Patreon Supporters! If it’s a blessing, support this podcast at https://www.patreon.com/letsparentonpurpose I’ve made this free tool for you. Download your Free Marriage Snapshot today! Show Highlights Understanding the difference between Christian Counseling and Biblical Counseling Biblical Counseling focuses on Biblical texts and relates ones problems to the text of Scripture Christian Counseling focuses on the truth and the Truth about Jesus. Christian Counseling aims to brin

Studies show 66% of teens who are active in church leave the church after high school.  Ben Trueblood of LifeWay Student Ministry joins me today to discuss the missing links and how we can help our kids stay connected to the church as they leave home. Show Highlights Lifeway released a survey of 23-30 year olds who were active in church throughout their high school years.  The goal was to track their church engagement from ages 18-22.  The biggest focus of this study was on the retention rate of the students who were active in high school years and remained active throughout their college years. What were the big picture findings of the survey? 66% of Active High School Students (attends 2x or more per month) leave church in the first couple of years after graduation. Why? Life change/situations 96% Church/pastor related reasons 74% Religious, political, ethical reasons 70% Student/youth ministry reasons 63% Why do 2/3 students leave the church? There is statistically no significant difference in church dr

My good friend Jenny Price joins me today to talk about THE most important relationship in your home!  Nothing affects the development and stability of your children as much as your marriage. Ignore the health of your marriage at your own (and your children’s) risk! In conjunction with this episode I’ve created a free tool for you and your spouse. Download your free Marriage Snapshot Tool and invest in your marriage! Show Highlights Your top two most important investments: 1) your relationship with Christ and 2) your marriage Christ-centered marriages Mommy and Daddy show they love each other the most (after Jesus) Your kids need to see you spending time together during daylight hours Out-serve each other, honor one another in front of your children Child-centered marriages / dangers when marriage isn’t on solid ground Parenting on a divided marriage makes children feel unsafe and unstable Staying together FOR the kids sake is a terribly destructive way to live Too many “love tank” withdraws without depo

(No Spoilers!)  Whatever your preconceived notions are about this episode, you’re probably wrong!  Student pastor and host of the We Think God is Awesome Podcast, Aaron Mamuyac, joins me for a fun look at movies and culture, including how we find traces of the gospel repeated over and over again in our favorite stories. Your children and their friends are most likely going to see Avengers Endgame. This gives you a great opportunity for discipleship as you help them be gospel detectives with a modern cultural phenomenon. This week’s episode is brought to you by Audible. You can Audible for free for one month, including downloading a free book at www.audibletrial.com/letsparentonpurpose As always, thank yo so much to my Patreon Supporters! These show notes and the extra microphones for my interview are from your generous support! Show Highlights Discover the gospel story with your students through movies in modern culture.  It can sometimes be a struggle to find commonalities with your kids, but we have a gold

Today I share why Easter gives me hope even in the darkest days of family life. I conclude with a post I wrote at 3AM on Easter Sunday five years ago, just one week after my son was diagnosed with Leukemia. As always, thank you Patreon Supporters! You’re awesome!  If you want to support this podcast for as little as $1 an episode, you can do it through www.patreon.com Tweet this I am created in the image of God and am a brother of the King Most High. Who cares whether my kid qualifies me for an honor roll bumper sticker? Click To Tweet Easter is a reminder that life comes from death, that light comes after the darkness, and that God is actively at work even when nothing makes sense. Click To Tweet Show Highlights As a dad who has never seen, but still believes, here’s how I feel blessed and hopeful as a parent: Easter is the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus.  The resurrection is the validation of everything Jesus said and did: It means that His teachings aren’t just sound advice, they are comma

“The remarkable thing about God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else.” – Oswald Chambers Today’s topic highlights the intersection between the fear of man, shame and how it’s indicative of how small our God is. Learn to identify shame and then how to view it in light of God’s truth.  When people are big in your life, God is small, but if God takes the proper proportion, you genuinely get to experience freedom. Thank you to my patreon supporters!  You are making the show notes and production of the show possible!  If you believe in Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can support the show for as little as $1 an episode. Show Highlights Living in a shame-driven culture Pervasive culture We’re living our lives in the fear of man People will see me People will reject me People will hurt me When fear of people becomes bigger than fear of God Identify different ways the fear of disapproval affects our daily lives before we can diagnose and help our

We don’t love our children the same. We love them uniquely, because they are each unique. Because of their uniqueness, a parenting approach that works for one child could cause another one to wilt. My good friend, partner in ministry, and coach/strategist Jenny Price joins me today to talk through various personality types we find among children, and what strategies can help us get the best out of each one. Thank you to my patreon supporters!  You are making the show notes and production of the show possible!  If you believe in Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can support the show for as little as $1 an episode. Show Highlights What does it mean to fully love your children, but not love them the same Personality differences that become evident in the baby/toddler years How different discipline techniques work with different personalities The tender children Helping them differentiate correction from “I’m a horrible person” Their tendency for secretive shame The importance of asking question Teaching them that

We all want to be great parents with thriving kids, but the truth is that only God can change a heart.  I do the best I can with all the means I can, but it’s ultimately His Spirit that reaches them.  Learn how to trust that God will reach our kids hearts, shape them and eventually bring freedom as we faithfully walk this parenting journey. Show Highlights Trusting God Even When Life Hurts – the sovereignty of God.  Why doesn’t He stop pain if He is all-powerful and all-loving. If God is all-powerful, why doesn’t He stop the pain? Ryan Leak’s consulting on on the danger of ego – what percentage of credit you feel like you should get for the success of “X” Why you should get 0 credit for the growth of “X” We are responsible to point our kids to Jesus, but it’s HIM who changes hearts How to deal with situations beyond my control and my illusion of control Finding encouragement from Psalm 127, the theme song of my life What do I do when I don’t know what to do or how to pray? The Spirit helps us in our weak

Gratitude is a crucial component in changing our circumstances and in helping develop the character of our children. Join me today as I discuss three ways you can encourage a heart of gratitude in your household. I want to say a special thanks to my growing group of Patreon Supporters!  For as little as $1 an episode you can invest in making this podcast as I invest in your family! Show Highlights Headwinds vs Tailwinds: why we notice our disadvantages while glossing over our advantages Why we should notice the advantages and resources at our fingertips What or who is the real problem to our lack of gratitude? Learn what God’s antidote is to taking life for granted Learn what God says His will is for your life. One of the greatest works that can change our circumstances and help develop the character of our children Hear about one of my personal goals this year with my kids How to model and then encourage a lifestyle of gratitude for my family Become a life tour guide pointing out multiple levels of amazing

Show Highlights Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future. Our friends determine the direction and quality of our lives. Why I should intentionally equip myself and my family on how to have the most healthy friendships How negative behaviors and bad habits become normal to us when we surround ourselves with bad company Why not to make close friends with gaping character defects Am I establishing healthy friendships and avoiding unhealthy ones?  Are my children? How do we help our children recognize and identify healthy friendships, and how do we cultivate them? Help your kids be intentional in identifying the good qualities in others Analyze your own friendships.  Model healthy friendships.  It’s hard for my kids to do what they don’t see. Who are you becoming? What direction are your closest friends taking you? You need givers AND takers in your life, people you pour into and people who pour into you. You become a composite of the 5-7 people you spend the most time with.  Do you like what’s

If you’re tired of putting out fires started by your tongue, you’re going to really benefit from my conversation with my friend Aidan Till.  Aidan preached recently at my church Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church from James 3. What he shared about the connection between our hearts, minds, and tongue was so applicable to moms and dads I grabbed him for a followup conversation.  If you want to hear the original sermon, you can find it here. I want to say a special thanks to my growing group of Patreon Supporters!  For as little as $1 an episode you can invest in making this podcast as I invest in your family! Show Highlights A background on the book of James as wisdom literature How emotions are always 100% accurate, but not in the way we often think How our internal story maker affects how we interpret our world and others Understanding how we are driven by emotions far more than we think Realizing that we are labeling our children in the way we chastise them Why feelings don’t have to be fixed Disciplines f

While it might be unrealistic to ever get to the point of disciplining without any emotion, we can at least strive to correct behavior without having a stroke. As author Dr. Kevin Leman puts it, our goal is Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours! As I mentioned, thank you for subscribing and sharing, and a BIG thank you to my Patreon supporters!  For as little as $1 an episode you can help support this podcast and join our Facebook Parenting Community. Show Highlights Triggers for emotional overreaction as a parent The purpose of discipline is not punishment, it’s training for behavior and character The danger of training our children to be emotionally volatile My thoughts on generational curses Why my emotional escalation of the situation generally doesn’t help Strategies for lowering your emotions Preemptive strategies: Specificity drives accountability, accountability drives performance: get specific in your instructions Be realistic about human nature, time, and commitments Plan ahead to avoid unnec

Sometimes it seems like a cloud of negativity hangs over our household.  This week I share with you a simple change I made that helped change my perspective, as well as the reality, in my family. Show Highlights Realizing that I had become overly critical of those in my life Deciding to live like God gave me the gift of encouragement My resolution for the year: “Catch them doing good” Realizing that the vast majority of what my wife and children do is good Deciding to be the kind of person who sees and celebrates the good in others Why this is not just the power of positive thinking Understanding the concept of “What you feed will grow, what you starve will die” How Celebrating the Win can remove the need to address some negative behavior Tweet This A change in your perspective can change your reality. Click To Tweet Click To Tweet What you feed will grow, what you starve will die. Click To Tweet If you liked this, check out Episode 85 Learning to Celebrate Failure Episode 90 Small Investments Big

How do you cultivate a culture of generosity in your family?  Father and son Brad and Drew Formsma join me today to share how generosity has become a way of life in their household. Along with his dad, Drew recently published the book  Everyday Generosity – becoming a generous family in a selfie world. Speaking of generosity, thank you so much to my Patreon supporters! As a token of gratitude, I’m sending a copy of Drew and Brad’s book Everyday Generosity to one of my patrons! Show Highlights How Uber drivers inspired 16 year old Drew to write Everyday Generosity Drew’s earliest memories of generosity in his mom and dad Brad explains the 7 ways a family can be generous Words Money Influence Attention Possessions Time Thoughts The power of a story Pre-planing for generosity by carrying around gift cards Getting your generosity antenna ready Have you ever thanked the person who cleans the airport bathroom? I share my son’s Chemo Orphan Challenge Story How parents can model generosity in a way that is contag

There has been a major shift over the last several years in music and pop culture. Artists today are first brands, and then musicians. Social media, music streaming and youtube have radically changed music discovery, delivery, and influence. I have to be honest, I knew nothing about many of the top 10 Billboard artists of the year. My friend Patrick Farley is here to help educate us on which artists have cultural significance, trends in music and dance. If you find this valuable, please share it with others and consider supporting Let’s Parent on Purpose as a Patreon Tweet This Even if your children are homeschooled, if you're ever going to let them out of the house, you need to know the world they are swimming in. Click To Tweet Click To Tweet A face tattoo is a face tattoo. If you don't become a rapper who makes a million dollars, you're stuck with your face tattoo. Click To Tweet Click To Tweet Show Highlights A rundown of the top 10 Billboard artists of the year for 2018 The changin

We live in a world that seeks to define women by their bodies or their tasks. They are either commodities to be exploited or pawns in someone’s agenda.  As a father, this breaks my heart. As a pastor, I know it’s evil. Our daughters AND sons need a healthy vision of womanhood that is not tied to an ever-changing image of physical beauty. They also need to see how women are unique image-bearers of God far beyond the tasks they do-whether in the home or in the work force.  On this podcast I humbly present a definition rooted in God’s word for our ladies to aspire and our men to affirm. Thank you again to www.lovoso.com for sponsoring today’s podcast.  Check out their selection of hand crafted pens, made by young men who have been rescued from poverty and homelessness, now trained in the Gospel and with a job skill.  100% of the profits support orphan and widow care. Use the code “Parenting” to receive 10% off your order! Tweet This Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring l

What does it mean to be a man?  The answer to this question is as important as it’s ever been.  But in a post-truth culture, the answer is muddier than ever. Giving our young men and women a clear vision for manhood will ground them and give them purpose in a constant shifting culture. Today’s podcast does exactly that.  Starting with a simple definition to train our small children, I expand with Robert Lewis’ definition of a REAL Man to help guide our sons and daughters as they approach adulthood. Also, if you’re looking for a meaningful gift for a loved one, check out our sponsor Lovoso at https://www.lovoso.com.  They provide high quality handmade pens created by young men who are escaping cycles of poverty while learning a trade. 100% of the profits go to orphan and widow care.  Use the promo code “Parenting” to get a 10% discount on your order! Tweet This Click To Tweet Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is choosing to walk forward even in the presence of fear. Click To Tweet Show Highlight

Identity can be defined simply as “who a person is”. This simple definition belies how incredibly complicated identity can be for individuals, especially our growing children.  In a world of constantly changing morals and definitions, it is vital that we give our children solid footing to understand who they are and why they exist. Today’s podcast explores the reality that our greatest possible value comes from understanding our identity as the pinnacle of God’s creation, the only ones made in His image, and the object of his love, affection, and redemption. This is Part One of a three part series on equipping you to teach identity to your children. Please visit this week’s sponsor https://www.lovoso.com . Lovoso gives orphans job skills through woodworking and tailoring. Use the promo code “Parenting” to get 10% off of your order.  All profits go to care for and train orphans and widows in India. Tweet This What are the character qualities that describe a biblical man or woman? Click To Tweet Both men and

Nearly 80 million people play the video game sensation Fortnite each month. Even if your children don’t play, they are talking about it, learning the dance moves. It’s not just a video game, it’s a cultural phenomenon.  Additionally, students are devouring content on youtube that you might not even realize exists. My good friend and top 5 finalist for Florida state teacher of the year Patrick Farley joins me to talk about his experience of Fortnite and Youtube among his students.  These are topics you absolutely need to be aware of as you raise children interacting with pop culture. Be sure to check out our affiliate sponsor https://www.lovoso.com.  Lovoso is a handcrafted wood company that trains orphans to have a hope for the future through shelter, education, spiritual mentoring, and job skills.  I’ve personally visited their home in India and met the students who were trained to make these hand crafted pens that help feed and clothe them. Use the code “Parenting” to get 10% off your order! In this podcast

Here is my list of the most challenging (and most helpful) accountability questions I’ve ever used.  I’ve used these questions with a number of different friends over the last decade. Answering these questions each week has made me a better husband, parent, and follower of Jesus. The Most Helpful Accountability Questions I’ve Ever Used 1. Have you spent daily time in the Scriptures and in prayer? 2. Have you had any flirtatious or lustful attitudes, tempting thoughts, or exposed yourself to any explicit materials which would not glorify God? 3. Have you been completely above reproach in your financial dealings? 4. Have you spent quality relationship time with family and friends? 5. Is Jesus being honored in the way you work and treat people at your work? 6. Have you told any half truths or outright lies, putting yourself in a better light to those around you? 7. Have you shared the Gospel with an unbeliever this week? 8. Have you taken care of your body through daily physical exercise and proper eating/sleepi