Scummy Mummies - Podcast

It's Chriiiiiiist Mas! And that means it's time for Nurse Jessie and Steve Hill to join us once again for some daft old festive nonsense. As is tradition, we discuss whether the snowman actually does bring the snow, wish Linda a happy birthday, and review some ham. We talk about our highlights of the year, including getting breathalysed and pissing in a pub car park. There is a Christmas message from Ellie's Dad, Jessie does a festive joke, and Steve Hill reveals his patented technique for farting in a van. Why they won't let us on Radio 4 we just don't know. We have a new game, It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Crispmas, plus - by popular demand - there's a special Christmas edition of The Accent Game. Many thanks to our sponsor for this episode - Michael Buble Perfume! Splash some of this on and if you ever meet Michael Buble in real life, he will instantly fall in love with you, potentially. Buy his fragrant wares from theperfumeshop.com. #MBFrangrances #theperfumeshop @michaelbubl

We have two social media legends as our guests today - the amazing Louise Pentland and Emma Conway, otherwise known as Brummy Mummy of 2! This episode was recorded LIVE at the Birmingham Podcast Festival in front of an actual audience. We cover everything from Brazilians and body image to managing the work-life balance. Louise and Emma give us some advice on how to build your profile if you're just starting out in social media. We find out why they are Scummy Mummies, and Louise reveals what her child did to Zoella's lovely white walls. For more from our brilliant guests check out Louise's YouTube channel and visit Emma's website, and follow them on all the things. **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We are on our way to Brighton, Corby, Catford, Leicester, Liverpool, Sevenoaks, Bath, Norwich, Winchester, Potters Bar, Bishops Stortford, Stroud, Finchley, Sutton Coldfield, Barnsley, Manchester, Twickenham, Milton Keynes, Chipping Norton, Bath, Kettering, Worcester,

How do you get over a sex drought? How many women can orgasm from penetrative sex? And does wearing socks in bed really make it easier to come? Answering all these questions are the amazing Anniki and Lisa from The Hotbed Collective! We cover an enormously wide range of topics, from getting back into sex after you've had a baby to how often we should be fiddling with ourselves. Along with some practical tips, there's some chat about sex toys for men, perving over Tom Selleck, and what happened when Anniki watched porn every day for a week. The brilliant book More Orgasms Please is out now. Follow these legends @thehotbedcollective on all the things. **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We are on our way to Brighton, Farnham, Corby, Catford, Leicester, Liverpool, Sevenoaks, Bath, Norwich, Winchester, and more... To buy tickets, and for more dates, visit ScummyMummies.com. We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. Please send your confessio

Our guest for this episode is the legend that is Rosie Ramsey! We cover a wide range of topics including how having kids can change your relationship, Coleen vs. Rebecca, and why Rosie used to dress up as a monkey for money. There's some chat about Rosie's husband, the comedian Chris Ramsey, and how he's enjoying his time on Strictly. We talk about how Rosie has become an Instagram sensation and the challenges of managing a career when you have kids. The Accent Game returns, and we make a Dane Bowers-related prediction for the future. Follow Rosie on Instagram @rosemarinoramsey. Her brilliant podcast is called Shagged, Married, Annoyed - it's on all the things, or go to chrisramseycomedy.com for links. **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We are on our way to Brighton, Maidenhead, Farnham, Corby, Cambridge, Frome, Barnstaple, Weston-super-Mare, Catford, Leicester, Liverpool, Sevenoaks, Bath, Norwich, Winchester, and more... To buy tickets, and for more dates, visit&

Our guest for this episode is the leading feminist campaigner and best-selling author Clementine Ford! We talk about everything from toxic masculinity and dealing with trolls to teaching our kids about consent. There's some chat about motherhood, and Clementine explains how the experience of giving birth strengthened her commitment to fighting for abortion rights. We get some practical advice about raising our children to be feminists and the best baby shower gift you can give, plus we discover an unexpected link between Brussesl sprouts and anal sex. We also talk about climate change and what we can do to be part of the solution. We finish up with a Scummy Mummies podcast first - a Confession that unravels live during the recording. Clementine's books, Boys Will Be Boys and Fight Like a Girl, are out now. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @clementine_ford.Thanks to our sponsors for this episode, Co-op Food. For more on how they're trying to

Our guest for this episode is TV legend Tess Daly! She tells us how she went from getting spotted outside McDonald's to hosting Strictly Come Dancing. We talk about her strategies for raising two kids, from teaching babies to sleep to dealing with teenagers, and how she tries to balance work and family. There's also some chat about internet safety, and Tess's work with the NSPCC and O2. For more on that topic, go to net-aware.org.uk.  Finally, we finish with a couple of Scummy Mummy Confessions from Tess that will make your eyes water, and possibly your boobs too. **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We are on our way to Brighton, Maidenhead, Bristol, Glasgow, Leeds, Farnham, Corby,Lancaster, Norwich, Lincoln, and more... To buy tickets, and for more dates, visit ScummyMummies.com. We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. Please send your confessions to scummymummiespodcast@gmail.com and visit us at ScummyMummies

What are the top five things you should be doing with your money RIGHT NOW? How should you ask for a pay rise? And do you really need to set up a pension for your kids? Answering all these questions is the brilliant Davinia Tomlinson!She tells us all about rainchq, the company she set up to close the gender investing gap. We find out what women need to know about investing, and how Davinia's entire career was inspired by Working Girl. Then we quiz her on everything from bonds and Bitcoin to breaking bad shopping habits. We learn the best way to invest for children, and how the 50/30/20 rule can help us save without sacrifice.For more ace advice from Davinia, visit rainchq.com, or follow her on social media @rainchq. **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We are on our way to Brighton, Didcot, Nottingham, Leatherhead, Maidenhead, Bristol, Glasgow, Leeds, Farnham, Corby, Hertford, Lancaster, Norwich, Lincoln, and more... To buy tickets, and for more dates, visit ScummyM

Our guest on this episode is TV legend Konnie Huq! She tells us how she got her big break, and whether they were really all shagging behind the scenes on Blue Peter.Then it's time for Huq's life hacks, including an innovative way of hiding grey hairs. She share some showbiz stories about being attacked by East 17's dog, and going on Blockbusters with a member of Boyzone. (As promised, we can reveal the member in question was Keith Duffy.)We chat about Konnie's fab new kids' book, Cookie and the Most Annoying Boy in the World. Of course there are some Scummy Mummy Confessions, plus a couple of surprise cameos. You can follow Konnie on Twitter @konnie_huq. Her book is out now.**SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We are on our way to Brighton, Didcot, Nottingham, Leatherhead, Maidenhead, Bristol, Glasgow, Leeds, Farnham, Corby, Hertford, Lancaster, Norwich, Lincoln, and more... To buy tickets, and for more dates, visit ScummyMummies.com. We're on Twitter (@scummymummie

Our guest for this episode is comedy legend Arabella Weir! She tells us about being a single mum, dealing with teenagers, and how to survive being in the PTA.There's some general chat about her career and the challenges of being a comedian who happens to own a vagina. We manage not to ask her if our bums look big in this, but we do find out about her time in The Fast Show, and how she feels about that catchphrase now. You can follow Arabella on social media @arabellaweir. Her Edinburgh show, Does My Mum Loom Big In This? sold out, but an extra show has been added this Sunday - get your tickets now. **SEE US LIVE** Our Edinburgh show is also SOLD OUT! But a few tickets are released each day at 6pm... Buy your tickets now!   We are also on our way to Didcot, Nottingham, Leatherhead, Hertford, Lancaster, Norwich, Lincoln, and more... To buy tickets, and for more dates, visit ScummyMummies.com. We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and 

If you hate doing craft, this episode is for you! Emma Scott-Child has written a brilliant book for people who are short on time, don't like mess, and don't have £500 to spend in Hobbycraft. She tells us all about it. We also discuss her career, which has spanned everything from working for Damien Hirst to designing erotic magazines and dog poo bags. Other topics include what it's like to run a business with your husband, and how to cope when your youngest child starts school.  Emma's amazing book, Quick Crafts for Parents Who Think They Hate Craft, is out now. Visit her website at thisisladyland.co.uk and follow her on Instagram @emma_scottchild.We are in Edinburgh RIGHT NOW! Our comedy show is on every night until 25 August (except 12th.) We are in the Blue Room, Assembly Rooms George Square, 7.50pm. Some nights are already SOLD OUT so... Buy your tickets now!   We are also on our way to Harlow, Sevenoaks, Stamford, Nunhead, Brighton, Bristol

It's just another day in the life of the Scummy Mummies as we try to describe our vagina catsuits to Bake-Off winner Nadiya Hussain! She tells us what her kids think of celebrity lifestyle, and what it was like to bake a birthday cake for the Queen. We find out how many fish fingers she can eat in a row, and Nadiya shares some great life hacks for batch cooking, using up potato peelings and making mushy peas more exciting. We find out a way to hack pickled eggs that will change your life. There's a bit of serious chat as we talk about how Nadiya copes with panic attacks. She shares what went on behind the scenes on the Bake-Off, and we hear all about her ace new recipe book, Time to Eat. It's out now! **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We will be in Edinburgh for THE WHOLE FESTIVAL! 1-25 August at the Blue Room, Assembly Rooms, 7.50pm. Buy your tickets now!   We are also on our way to Harlow, Sevenoaks, Stamford, Nunhead, Brighto

We tackle some controversial topics in this episode with the help of the brilliant journalist, presenter and telly producer, Simon London! He tells us about being adopted at the age of eight, and what it was like to go from a children's home to boarding school. We hear about some of the racism he's faced over the course of his life, and the advice he's giving his son about growing up as a mixed race child. The conversation covers everything from knife crime and Raoul Moat to Fanta-based cocktails and photocopying your own tits. We also hear about Simon's time on telly shows like So Graham Norton, and he reveals the best and worst celebrities he's worked with. You can follow Simon on Instagram and Twitter @slondonuk. And do check out his brilliant website about family days out in London, kidrated.com. WE ARE COMING TO EDINBURGH! Come and see us, 7.50pm at the Assembly Rooms, 1-25 August (not 12th). Tickets are selling fast so get yours now from assemblyfestival.com. We'r

Our guest for this episode is the brilliant Bethie Hungerford, otherwise known as Hungermama! She tells us how she went from being raised in the States on pizzas and burgers to living in London and writing a cookbook. And guess what - her kids ACTUALLY EAT VEGETABLES. We find out her secret. Bethie tells us all about her hungerpot recipes - "the laziest possible way you can make a homemade meal." We also learn her favourite way to cook Christmas turkey, and chat about everything from calamari to pigs anuses, and whether they're the same thing. Then it's time for a game, Would You Put That In Your Mouth?, followed by some food-related Scummy Mummy Confessions. For more from Bethie, visit hungermama.com or follow her on Instagram @hungermama. Her podcast, Friends With Recipes, is available in all the usual places, and there's also a @friendswithrecipes Instagram account. Bethie's hungerpots book is out in spring 2020. This episode of the podcast i

She's fun, she's fashionable, and she's a one-woman festival - it's Dress Like A Mum, also known as Zoe de Pass! Zoe joins us in the gardens of the Horniman Museum for a special outdoor recording. We talk about why we love a good park, and in Ellie's case, hate the beach. There's some chat about our favourite summer festivals, and giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a dog. Plus we get to know Ellie and Helen a little better with our brand new game, Who Did That Outside? This episode of the podcast is sponsored by Honest Organic Kids. Their 100% organic juice drinks are certified by the Soil Association, and contain no added sugar or sweeteners - just fruit juice and water. You can find out more by following them on Instagram @honestorganic. **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We will be in Edinburgh for THE WHOLE FESTIVAL! 1-25 August at the Blue Room, Assembly Rooms, 7.50pm. Buy your tickets now!   We are also on our way to Sevenoa

What's the best bargain make-up brand? How much fun is living with drag queens? And what's it like when your stand-up comedian boyfriend is papped snogging his Strictly partner outside a pub? Answering all these questions is the amazing Rebecca Humphries! She tells us all about her relationship with Seann Walsh, and why that famous photo only told half the story. We hear her advice for getting out of bad relationships, and find out how she's doing now. There's also some chat about beauty, cats, retirement plans, and Barbra Streisand's underground shopping mall. Following the Scummy Mummy Confessions, Helen shares a fact that may actually blow your mind. This is definitely one to listen to till the end.You can find Rebecca's beauty writing over at thetrowel.co.uk and follow her on social media @beckshumps. **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We will be in Edinburgh for THE WHOLE FESTIVAL! 1-25 August at the Blue Room, Assembly Rooms, 7.50pm. Buy your tickets no

Our guest for this episode is the hilariously brilliant comedian Sindhu Vee! She tells us about her experience of growing up in India, and how parenting styles can differ between east and west. We also learn about a unique discipline technique involving a tea tray. Sindhu tells us what possessed her to try stand-up without ever having seen it before. And she explains how, annoyingly, she went on to become amazingly good at it, and get nominated for loads of awards.We find out Sindhu's mum's mottos for living, and she shares her tips for surviving the Edinburgh Festival. We round off with not one, but TWO of the best Scummy Mummy Confessions we've ever heard. Sindhu is currently touring her show Sandhog - for dates and tickets, visit sindhuvee.com. You can follow her on Twitter @sindhuvfunny. The Scummy Mummies book is OUT NOW! We hope you like it, and if you do, we'd love an Amazon review! **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show!

Our special guest for this episode is Keza MacDonald! We discuss her experience of being a step-mum, and why she changed her mind about having her own kids. There's some chat about dealing with the teenage years, and we find out Keza's number one piece of advice for new step-parents. Then it's time for video games chat! Keza is the games editor for The Guardian, so we pick her brains about screentime, age ratings, and what to do if your child decides they want to become a pro gamer. We also talk about YouTube, our favourite games for playing with kids, and how Eurovision destroys families. This episode was sponsored by Must Play May, an initiative designed to celebrate the positive things about gaming and how it can bring people together. For more, please visit askaboutgames.com. Keza is on Twitter @kezamacdonald, and you can read her writing on the Guardian. The Scummy Mummies book is OUT NOW! We hope you like it, and if you do, we'd love an Amazon review! **

How do you get on The Great British Bake-Off? What's it like to be kissed by Noel Fielding and sworn at by Paul Hollywood? And where does Helen think her cakehole is? Helping us answer all these questions is Briony May Williams! She reveals what it's really like inside the Bake-Off tent, and where to find the best chocolate cake recipe EVER. There's some chat about running, and we play a new game, Through the Cakehole. Plus we find out who's the best baker out of someone who came fourth in a famous televised national baking competition, and a pissed-up Australian who thinks self-raising flour is a plant that doesn't need watering. You can follow Briony @brionymaybakes on Instagram, or visit her website at brionybakes.co.uk. For more on This Mum Runs, go to thismumruns.co.uk The Scummy Mummies book is OUT NOW! We hope you like it, and if you do, we'd love an Amazon review! **SEE US LIVE** Come to our live comedy show! We are on our way to Ca

How did Sophie Ellis-Bextor offend an arena full of Take That fans? What's the worst lyric she's ever written? And why is she the Craig David of pregnancy? Answering all these questions is ACTUAL SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR! We are also joined by her brand new baby, the lovely Micky! She tells us what it's like to be mum to five sons, while still managing to record a new album with a full orchestra. It all gets momentarily serious as Sophie and Ellie share their experiences of having premature babies. We talk about Borne, a medical research charity working to identify the causes of premature birth and improve outcomes. Every year 15 million babies are born preterm around the world, and over 1 million die due to complications from being born to soon. In the UK, 60,000 families are affected every year - that's 8 per cent of births. And like Sophie and Ellie, 85 per cent of women who go into early labour had no idea they were at risk. Borne is trialling the fir

For this episode, we are joined by the amazing Mel Giedroyc - comedy hero, TV star and all-round absolute legend!She doles out sage advice on everything from handling teenagers to performing at Edinburgh. We talk about the time she sang with Limahl in an airport, and cover othr highbrow topics like weeing in the bath. Then it's time for the return of the segment no one asked or expected to hear again: Bin Chat.Like us, Mel is a great humanitarian, so she is appearing on our stupid podcast in aid of Comic Relief. Please give them some money - to donate £5 text the word DONATE to 70205.T&Cs: Texts will cost your donation plus your standard network message charge and 100% of your donation will go to Comic Relief. We won't let Helen spend any of it on earrings. You must be 16 or over, just like with driving mopeds and doing sex. Please do ask the bill payer’s permission. For full terms and conditions, more information or to donate any amount you like online please go to comicrelief.com. Your ho