We Gotta Thing

Listen in on our conversation with a resort full of imperfect but beautiful ladies! The ladies of Desire discuss what they've had to realize and overcome in order to enjoy and grow into the lifestyle. Along the way the are discovering real transformation both in themselves and in relationships with their partners.

We all agree consent is a bedrock principle in the lifestyle but most conversations around this topic focus on verbal consent.  We'll talk about using our words but will also consider two additional dimensions: non-verbal consent (body language) and giving yourself consent.

Topic- Some people are either put off by the term "swinger" or have misperceptions of what it really means today. We've decided to use the term 'Social Sexy' to describe how we view and engage with others in the world of ethical non-monogamy. Mentioned: Our friend "Ess" is a boudoir photographer. Check him out on Instagram and read his recent blog post on our website!

We discuss identifying red flags in other couples and how to respond when you see them. We also talk about red flags that pop up within your own relationship and how, if left unresolved can lead to you becoming a red flag to other couples. Listen in as we work through one of our own red flags!

When first considering reasons for entering the lifestyle making lifelong friends is not normally the goal. But after getting used to connecting with people and having some sexy playtimes we begin to realize how 'human' our lifestyle friends are and how these friendships are sometimes deeper, more meaningful and more real than any we've had before. We talk about our pathway to discovering our tribe in the lifestyle and just how special some of these friendships have become!

Discussion topic: We often focus on rules and guidelines "inside the bedroom" but in this episode we discuss what we consider to be the golden rules of the lifestyle outside of the bedroom. The importance of Confidentiality, Respect and Honesty with ourselves and others should seem evident but in a sex-charged environment they can be easily overlooked and forgotten.

Join our conversation with Bomber and The Belle from the Black & Kinky Podcast as we discuss the issue of race in the lifestyle today. As a black couple they share their perspective, experience, opinions and challenges around meeting and connecting with those of a different race.

In this episode we discuss what "chemistry" in the lifestyle means to us and how it's different from attraction.  Is chemistry between others instantaneous? Can chemistry with others fade over time? How is chemistry with lifestyle friends different from the chemistry between me and my spouse or partner? Listen in for our answers to these questions and hear a couple of sexy snapshots from us and some listeners! Join our We Gotta Thing members only community Visit our website and learn more about our upcoming WGT events

In this episode we talk with the creators of the brand new lifestyle website Double Date Nation, Dave and Andi.  The four of us discuss our ideas and share our opinions on how best to create and optimize your lifestyle website profile to be most effective. We also interview them about their new site to find out how it's different from others and why they believe another lifestyle dating site is necessary. To try Double Date Nation free for three months sign up here and use promo code: WGTPC Watch Dave and Andi on their YouTube channel: The Celibate Swingers

George has been hosting elaborate and sexy lifestyle events all over the world for 15 years. Since we've attended several and get many questions about these 'mysterious' lifestyle gatherings we thought it best for you to hear directly from George! From Burning Man to Cuba to London, Mexico City, Manhattan Napa and even Washington, DC you're sure to find an event to pique your interest.  Care to join us? Explore all of George's upcoming events here!

Discussion Topic: In Part 2 of our judgment series we are joined by our "much younger friends" to talk about how age factors in to meeting, connecting and even playing with couples who are much older or younger. We also break down age related stereotypes in the lifestyle. Is age truly just a number? The New Monogamy- Redefining Your Relationship after Infidelity by Tammy Nelson Join our members only community!

Discussion Topic: We all have experienced being judged.  However, we don't often reflect on how we judge others or why so many people in the lifestyle still tend to judge.  We discuss how we are wired and what influences in our lives may predispose us to our own personal bias when assessing and judging others. Try Double Date Nation free for three months! Use promo code WGTPC and join us as we help build a brand new lifestyle dating site. Listen to our friends Jay and Kay from That Couple Next Door podcast. Less than 5 rooms remain! Travel with us to Desire Pearl the week of November 16-23, 2019!  Book your trip here. Join our Members Only Community

Discussion Topic: The swinging lifestyle is a place we go to grow our relationship.  But to experience any kind of personal or relationship growth we must step out of and beyond our comfort zones. Listen as we discuss the topic ourselves and then hear similar thoughts from others in a session we recorded with Swinging Downunder on our latest trip to Desire Pearl Resort in Cancun, Mexico. Less than 10 rooms remain! Travel with us to Desire Pearl the week of November 16-23, 2019!  Book your trip here. Join our Members Only Community Listen to the Swinging Downunder podcast

Discussion Topic: Does being in the lifestyle mean a race to full-swap? Will we find ourselves always wanting more? Why does trying the lifestyle seem like a risk to our relationship? Will we become addicted and always want more?  We discuss the importance of agreeing on "why" you are in the lifestyle and how critical it is to stay on the same page throughout your journey. Travel with us to Desire Pearl the week of November 16-23, 2019!  Book your trip here. Join our Members Only community here!

Discussion Topic: Using Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, we align how those same habits can make you successful as a couple in the swinging lifestyle. Travel with us to Desire Pearl the week of November 16-23, 2019!  Book your trip here. Join our Members Only community here!  

Discussion topic: In this episode we catch you all up to date on what we've been going through since we were "outed" as lifestyle podcasters 18 months ago.  Through all the turmoil we lost our "happy place" and share how we've grown and rediscovered each other.  Each person and couple has the freedom to define and then find their happy place in the lifestyle. Our We Gotta Thing Desire Pearl trip next year we be the week of November 16-23, 2019. Click here to join us! Join our WGT Members Only Community here!

Discussion topic: Most agree we'd like to avoid any drama in a lifestyle experience.  But is this a realistic expectation? Is drama such a bad thing? Do we know what drama really is and is not?  How should we handled drama if we encounter it in ourselves or another couple? Catherine (from episode 41), a licensed professional counselor joins us again and provides answers, insights and tools to help answer these and other questions around drama in the lifestyle! You can reach Catherine via email at: expansiveconnection@gmail.com Catherine's website is www.expansiveconnection.com Michelle Chalfant: The Child Chair The Adolescent Chair The Adult Chair Join our Members Only Community here!

Discussion topic: In this episode we discuss the tension between wanting to be discreet yet at the same time wanting to know as much as possible about others. Too much discretion and nobody knows you but being vulnerable is necessary to connect socially to make true friends (with benefits) in the lifestyle. Join us at our first WGT Regional Meet & Greet on Saturday, October 20 at 8pm in Providence, Rhode Island! Register at Choice Social Club and be sure to put "WGT2018" in the comments section to be included in our group.

Discussion Topic: We share sexy stories from our trip to Desire Pearl and discuss the benefits and drawbacks of sexual play with newbies and veteran couples in the swinging lifestyle. Spoiler alert: we enjoy both! Mentioned this episode:Join our We Gotta Thing private members only group Listen to our podcast with the Spiritual SwingersDesire Pearl Resort in Cancun, Mexico  

Discussion Topic- Whether it's your very first play experience or you've been swinging for years awkward encounters will always be a part of your lifestyle journey. We share some awkward lifestyle moments, discuss why they occur, what (if anything) can be done to avoid them and how to work through them as a couple.   Visit our website: https://wegottathing.com/ Join our private community: We Gotta Thing Members OnlyJoin KasidieBook your trip to Desire!