Mantalks Podcast: Purpose | Legacy | Relationships | Self Mastery | Business

Talking points: relationships, attachmentThere's one significant trap a lot of men fall into when they're anxiously attached. Good news? It's manageable—as long as you know where it's coming from. If you or your partner has this attachment style, dig in. (00:00:00) - Defining the trap, and why it happens(00:04:29) - What you’re really up against, and the first step in escaping the trap(00:09:15) - Uncovering where it shows up in your relationship, and taking action(00:12:09) - Don’t just practice in the relationship, and what causes blacksliding***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your

Talking points: culture, marketing, relationshipsI consider it an achievement to have Tad on the show. He's a soulful and wise person who can cut through the BS quickly—and do it kindly, no less. We sat down to discuss the parallels in ethically presenting your case in both the business and dating realms. You'll be surprised at how similar some aspects are!(00:00:00) - How is dating an extension of marketing?(00:13:24) - The meaning of “gauging” a potential partner, and what to look for(00:19:57) - On sunk cost, grief, people pleasing, and our fear of risk(00:27:17) - Is there a connection between fear of approach and polarization?(00:34:43) - How is AI going to change how we market (00:47:33) - What are the key implementations of ethical marketing?Tad Hargrave is a hippy who developed a knack for marketing (and then learned to be a hippy again).  Since 2001, he has been weaving together strands of ethical marketing, Waldorf School education, a history in the performing arts, local culture making,

Talking points: attachment, relationshipsThe way you connect with others really can change for the better, and it's important to know when you're headed in the right direction. If you or your partner has an avoidant attachment style—aka shutdown in conflict, emotional distancing, etc.—this one's for you. Listen in.Not sure what avoidant attachment is? Check out A Man's Guide To Avoidant Attachment: https://lnk.to/3anA6L(00:00:00) - Intro and what you need to understand first(00:02:25) - Sign number one: more emotional availability(00:04:41) - Number two: Better conflict navigation(00:07:01) - Number three: you aren’t debating ending the relationship at the first sign of trouble(00:08:01) - Number four: a deeper sense of trust(00:10:08) - Number five: their needs are more clear, AND they’re moving to meet your needs more often ***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide

Talking points: relationships, conflict, love, cultureThere aren’t many folks in the wellness space as frank, wise, and empathetic as Jillian, and I always love having her on the show. This time, we sat down to dig into everything relationships, from culture and social media’s effects (read: not always great) to defining lust vs love, and much more. Strongly recommend this one for a couple’s listen. (00:00:00) - Why are people so disenfranchised with relationships these days, and is there a broader function to relationships that we’re missing?(00:09:00) - What contributes to self-centeredness is relationships, and how do we combat that?(00:15:46) - The purpose of uncertainty and the unknown in relationships, and the difference between lust and love(00:24:34) - On being able to disagree(00:31:59) - How do people get stuck in “cycles of lust”?(00:41:29) - What kind of a man do women want, and why can you not convince someone to love you?(00:50:24) - Why convincing someone to love you is a turn-offJillian T

Talking point: dating, relationships, riskI recently came across some work by Alexander (aka @DatePsych), where he put together some fascinating data. Turns out 45% of men between 18-25 haven't asked a woman out. Ever. What's the deal? Well, here are two of my theories, and I'd love to hear yours.Link to the study: https://datepsychology.com/risk-aversion-and-dating/***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitch

Talking points: friendship, masculinity, Ryan Michler and I have been in the men's work biz for a long time, and we've seen the changes—some good, some bad—in how men are talked about and marketed to by our culture and by the wellness and therapy industries. We dig into the necessity of male friendship in the face of growing isolationism, the upcoming Men's Forge, and a whole lot more. Listen in, team.(00:00:00) - Intro and why does it seem like men are having a harder time maintaining relationships?(00:12:27) - On men needing social time and where modern therapy misses the mark(00:17:56) - How are men contributing to their own isolation and loneliness?(00:31:44) - On the importance of some confrontation in male friendships(00:38:32) - Why men need brotherhood as well as challenge, and what to do if you want deeper friendships with other men Ryan Michler is a husband, father, Iraqi Combat Veteran, and the Founder of Order of Man. Ryan grew up without a permanent father figure and has seen first-hand how a lac

Talking points: mindsetThis is something I’ve seen a LOT of men battle, and with no success—and I include myself in that. This week, I want to reframe the idea of self-worth and give you a few insights that will likely change the game for you. Dig in.(00:00:00) - Reframing self-worth, and why many men struggle with it(00:04:27) - Reasons why self-worth gets damaged (00:07:26) - You don’t build it by winning all the time; recognize effort instead. Here’s why it works(00:12:00) - Release the beast from the basement***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhoo

Talking points: trauma, validation, mindset, relationshipsRecently, I put out a call on Instagram: who wants to join me for a short, recorded Q&A. We had a TON of respondents, but I wanted to highlight four in particular that I feel are unique, but at the same time offer a window into what so many men endure. These are everyday men from completely different walks of life, all different ages, but united in a single fact: they’re doing the work. I’m deeply grateful to each of them for agreeing to be on the show. (00:00:00) - The story of S, six years sober, who struggles with people pleasing and feeling stuck(00:16:04) - C’s struggle with internal validation and the relationship with his father(00:35:15) - D’s working on feeling worthy, but his relationships have never felt safe or trustworthy(00:56:47) - P wrestles with some of the contradictions in the self-help space and past trauma***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://traini

Talking points: mythology, masculinity, traumaMyth isn't just old story. It's also a powerful way to frame the workings of the world, the mind, and everything in between. The story of Perseus is just one example of this, with insights on boyhood vs manhood, facing risk, and much more. Dig in.(00:00:00) - Intro and the first lesson of the Perseus’ story(00:06:09) - The second lesson(00:09:36) - Lessons behind Perseus and Medusa(00:16:09) - How the role of a mother and the initiation into manhood interact***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerf

Talking points: masculinity, culture, gratitude, anger, poetryI don’t typically get starstruck or awed in interviews, even though I’ve talked to many incredible people. But David? Well, he’s had an immense impact on my life, and so much of my work and way of thinking lives inspired by him. He joined me in Seattle and shared so much wisdom, beauty, and of course, poetry. Dig into this one.(00:00:00) - What is the “conversational nature of reality”, why the unknown is so uncomfortable, and the fear of “descent”(00:18:44) - How the need for control kills off meaning and purpose, and how real poetry and philosophy come from NOT knowing what to say(00:25:53) - David reads “Blessing of the Morning Light”(00:32:42) - How does a man start building a relationship to the unknown parts of himself, and David’s relationship with his father(00:44:24) - The role of anger and the power of poetry(00:56:16) - On forgiveness and male friendship(01:31:57) - How do you properly thank someone who’s had a profound impact on you?Dav

Talking points: psychology, the shadow, attachment theoryNow there's a mouthful of psych words! All jokes aside, a Jungian perspective on attachment theory is a powerful combo. This week, I'm laying out a simple definition for the shadow and anxious attachment, and a straightforward way to begin the work yourself right away. Listen in.(00:00:00) - A quick primer on anxious attachment and the shadow(00:05:17) - The first thing you need to figure out, and some common causes of anxious attachment(00:09:01) - Here’s where you begin exploring(00:12:40) - What can happen in relationship as you start doing this work, and how to help that(00:13:55) - A caveat for people with trauma or abuse in their past***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t kno

Talking points: culture, masculinityBroad-brushing things doesn't help us progress. Broad-brushing people is even worse. Young men are facing what feels to them a hostile landscape, and it's causing some serious issues. Listen in.(00:00:00) - The abusive relationship analogy(00:05:36) - Porn DOES contribute(00:08:16) - The new narrative(00:11:03) - Is there a more positive vision for men and masculinity? And a message to guys who are struggling***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out

Talking points: mindset, attraction, relationshipsI was surprised at the sheer volume of basic advice there is out there on being a more attractive man. This week, we're going to go a little beyond "hit the gym" and "smoke less". How do you build your attractiveness from the inside out AND stay authentically you? Listen in.(00:00:00) - Be untameable—somewhat(00:09:50) - Develop emotional sovereignty(00:12:11) - Develop direction and discipline(00:14:14) - Have some non-negotiables. Please.(00:17:39) - Be unapologetically you. Note: this requires serious work on figuring out who you actually are***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To

Talking points: masculinity, culture, raceIt's always a highlight of my life speaking with Jason. This man and his tireless work shaping comprehensive, authentic men is nothing short of inspiring. Deeply grateful to have sat down with him to dig into the nuances of his new book (out Jan 28!), the manosphere, Black America, and what modern men miss out on. Listen. To. This.(00:00:00) - How Jason’s environment shaped his perception of manhood, and the challenges of hypermasculinity(00:11:02) - Jason’s take on the idea that men need to build value because they don’t have any inherently(00:17:40) - What do young men find appealing about the manosphere, in spite of the reactivity and misogyny?(00:23:39) - Why men don’t share their emotions with women, and what Jason wishes more non-Black men knew about growing up in Black America(00:35:09) - Do men need extreme hardship in order to have self-respect?(00:42:11) - On Jason’s new book and being a Comprehensive Man(00:50:25) - What aspect of a comprehensive man is mis

Talking points: psychologyYou've probably seen this idea floating around social media for a while, and it's a solid framework for healing. But what does it actually mean, how does it work, and is it worthwhile if you're a man? This week, let's talk about what inner child work entails.(00:00:00) - “What’s hidden in the father is revealed in the son”, and what inner child work actually means(00:10:10) - The main benefits of this kind of work, and where to start(00:17:35) - Two useful journaling exercises, and how to “father yourself”(00:24:23) - Next steps***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead

Talking points: relationships, infidelity, betrayalThe damage from infidelity in a relationship can be complex, traumatic, and last far longer than you might think. What's more, there aren't a lot of men-specific resources out there. Fortunately Adam is changing that. If you or someone you know has experienced infidelity, strongly encourage you to share this one.(00:00:00) - Why Adam wrote his book, and the stigmas men experience when they’re cheated on(00:05:13) - How important is it that all parties see the part they may have played, and what NOT to do(00:15:35) - What leads a woman to have an affair, what to do when you find out, and what happens to a man’s identity when betrayed(00:26:10) - Navigating jealousy and grief(00:40:27) - What’s possible in the reconciliation process?(00:43:53) - On creating safety and repair after betrayalAdam Nisenson, also known as the Betrayal Shrink, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. He’s dedicated to helping men navigate the

Talking points: attachment, relationshipsWe all have parts of us that are hard to handle. But if you're in a relationship with someone who's got an avoidant attachment style, there's ONE behavior that's tougher than the rest. Here's what it is, and how to handle it.(00:00:00) - Intro, and “the flip”(00:03:55) - The real challenge dealing with an avoidant partner(00:05:52) - So what do you do?***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review

Talking points: masculinity, cultureHonored to have connected with the Barefoot Dutchman himself this week. In case you hadn't heard, Anton Nootenboom recently finished walking over 3100 miles—barefoot—from LA to NYC to support men's mental health. Yes. Barefoot. We dig into the why, the how, and Anton's core philosophies. Listen in, team. (00:00:00) - Intro, and what the mental and emotional strain was like(00:15:39) - Why Anton wanted to raise awareness for men’s mental health(00:22:04) - What are men struggling with the most these days, and what needs to change(00:37:48) - The struggle of shifting perspectives on men’s culpability and responsibility, and what to say to younger guys(00:44:12) - Why is it important for men to do hard things? Anton Nootenboom is a military veteran with three tours in Afghanistan. He faced severe mental health challenges afterwards, including depression and suicidal thoughts. He found healing in barefoot walking and speaking out about his experiences. Today, his journey embodi

Talking points: relationships, marriageNot an easy topic for anyone, but there ARE things you can do that can help things go more smoothly. Whether you chose it or it got chosen for you, I've laid out what you need to ask yourself and how you should proceed. Listen in.(00:00:00) - Intro, and the best question to ask yourself first(00:07:18) - How do you know when it’s time to go, and midlife changes(00:16:12) - Divorcing in anger, and the first thing I say to men who have decided(00:20:26) - Get a good lawyer, but YOU should focus on the ethics, and more questions to answer(00:25:17) - Get support and perspective, and what to do if kids are involved***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To

Talking points: attachment, mindset, psychologyDiving into the deep end for 2025, team. The disorganized attachment style is complex, hard to manage, and my heart goes out to anyone who struggles with this. But over the years of training and study, and working with clients with disorganized attachment, I've found some things that help. Here's your primer, team.(00:00:00) - Why disorganized attachment is so challenging, what makes it different, and the biggest origin points(00:09:26) - Digging deeper: how does disorganized attachment get formed?(00:19:47) - Signs of disorganized attachment as an adult(00:32:05) - How do you heal this?(00:43:16) - On the importance of working with your nervous system, and one final piece of advice***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Hea