2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast

Really? You don't love your body because your dick is too big? If you find yourself with so much time on your hands that you have to worry about not loving your body because your dick is too big, then you certainly have enough time to go out and find someone else who does love it that big.

It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. It doesn't matter if you're taking out a pile of old newspapers, the ex-girlfriend or just the overflowing holiday decorations that are consuming the entire garage...that crap needs to go. We offer some helpful advice on making the chore a little easier.

Our elders lived their lives leaving nothing to waste. When they went out hunting for food they used every single piece of the animal all the way down to the toenails. Next time you think about shaving your pits and letting the remnants go down the drain, think twice about that selfish act and instead donate it to women who have no underarm hair. You'll love yourself for it.

It's been over year that we've been talking about it and still nothing has happened. Not one bit of progress has been made to assemble all the basic necessities of an earthquake kit. Obviously, a little temblor last week hasn't provided the necessary motivation either. Perhaps a major holiday where we give earthquake kits to all our loved ones as gifts will help with the kick in the ass we need...but we doubt it.

Planning a wedding used to be easy. You only had to think about a location, flowers, catering, decorations and which exes to invite. Nowadays you have to think about putting together the perfect prenuptial agreement, too. Or, you can just skip the whole thing and become the typical Lesbian couple that continues to live together after they break up.

Everybody needs some good advice from time to time. Once again, we're here to help. We don't have any tips on getting yourself a better body. We just have all kinds of ideas to help you be "out" at work. Use this advice at your own risk.

Life in America....where we have certain freedoms and inalienable rights that we all take for granted. In the Declaration of Independence our forefathers were very clear about these things when they unabashadly stated that among our inalienable rights are....Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Getting Laid.

You already have cramps, you're bleeding like a pig...and you stop by the store to pick up some menstrual supplies. The last thing you need is some crazy Lesbian picking up things out of your shopping cart and telling you what you need and don't need in a maxi pad.

When you've been romancing a local restaurant for years and selflessly sharing all your love with them, you feel like your in a relationship. They have a responsibility to you as their loyal partner not to just pack up all their things and leave you in the middle of the night with no forwarding address, no reasons why and no explanations. Like a jilted lover, you'll be nursing a broken heart and wondering what you did wrong for the rest of your life.

It's no longer safe to hang out in Lesbian bars late at night. Wild animals are on the loose and they're out stalking their prey. They're looking for young, hot girls that will eventually cost them a lot of money. Keep you eyes open and be on the lookout for...cougars.

It's hard to resist the overwhelming allure of the supermarket checkout rags on a good day. To make it even harder, they have to put a huge headline on the paper telling you that they're going to give you the scoop on who's gay in Hollywood today. We compare notes and check of our list of who's queer and who's just going through a phase.

We'll all kick the bucket someday. To avoid having your kids sprinkle you all over Disneyland, toss you out into the ocean, wear you as jewelry or snort your ashes, do the responsible thing and make sure you leave explicit instructions about how you want them to deal with your body when you pass. Or, you can just take the chance that you'll spend eternity in some family's home that you don't even know.

A new TV show causes Roxanne to lose touch with reality and fancy herself the young hot Lesbian of her youth. Or, it could just be the initial stages of her mid-life crisis coming on. Virginia realizes it's time for an intervention.

For as hot and steamed up as we were last weekend, you would have thought that the entire cast of the L Word, accompnied by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and the Laker Girls were spending the night at our house. Alas, we were not so lucky. Instead, the power went out right in the middle of the worst heatwave of the summer.

If you can dream it, you can be it. It's never too late to live your life the way you want to live it, and to have the career you've always dreamed of. This time...nobody's gonna hold you back. It's time to live your life and get rich doing it!

Do your part to support the economy. When that tax rebate check hits your mailbox, head to your nearest democratic or republican national convention and spend money the way it was supposed to be spent...by hiring prostitutes and renting hotel rooms. Good times are guaranteed for all.

Women come in a variety of unique shapes, sizes and colors, and every one of them is beautiful in her own special way. Of course, there's no harm in trying on a Chic Shaper to make that special way just a little more special.

All those girls who desperately wanted to make it onto the cheerleading squad in high school, but were just a bit too plump to be accepted by the other mean girls have finally found a place they can call their own. It's called Weight Watchers. Now they have all become meeting leaders so they can jump and yell to pump you up and cheer you on as the pounds fall off.

Let's not get crazy...it just seems like forever.....but, we're back now. All the rumors about us being dead or having given up are all false. Besides, we already told you that we're too old and lazy to break up. Lord knows the bitch wouldn't ever be able to move all her shit out anyway.

Roxanne finds a new restaurant that she likes more than McDonald's. As we make the trek out to Cafe Beaujolais, we wind up getting more than just something good to eat. The evening turns out to a be a real treat, with both dinner and a show.