Rockenstein

Are your ear-holes perked and open wide? Mm, delicious. Join Red and Grimm as they catch up with resident bad boy and 'author', Brendan Perry. Meanwhile, HAMMERADE IS BACK TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THEIR ULTRA MEGA X-TREME ALPHA TOUR. With a special story of love, lost, inner-strength, murder and copyright infringement. No album reviews this episode, but just you wait, we may just surprise you next week! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.     SHOW BREAKDOWN:   0:00 - REDENSTEIN   1:11 - Brendan Perry's "Mean-Muggin', Straight-Thuggin' and Meat Choggin'"   6:27 - HAMMERADE PRESENTS ULTRA MEGA X-TREME ALPHA TOUR   8:28 - Melting mammaries/ The Melanie Martinez Movie/ Seven Inch Satanic Panic/ Yeezy is a skeezy/ Fart   26:53 - Steamboat Blues   29:37 - Carlsaurus drops by to say bye and wreck the office. THE END

Hello, and welcome back to another 'Best Of' episode of Rockenstein. Today, you will be enjoying our deliciously inappropriate skits. FEEL HONORED!!! I will not lie to you, guys. It shoulda been a story time, buuuuuuuuut hangovers and mushrooms don't mix very well... so here ya go! Take it or leave it.. but why leave it when you can just take it... maybe if we wave it around at you... Just listen Okay?! Alright then.

THE FLAMES OF HELL ARE BURNING OUR BISCUITS. This week, our movie experts come to visit and dish on a superhero classic. Our hosts discuss torture of the porn variety, the horrors on the dark web and Tool's triumph over Tay-Tay Swift's numbers and fans! With a surprise pop in from our own MC Mung. Featuring album reviews for Korn - The Nothing, and Tool - Fear Inoculum SHOW BREAKDOWN: 0:00 - Opening to this trashstorm 0:58 - Sherzl Hilms & Dr. Germ Wretsen's Movie Reviews with a Twist! 2:37 - Blimpo's Brothel and Speakeasy 3:23 - Erotica art searches + Skit of fire = Regrets / The dark web is not your friend, but the drugs are okay / Who's #1 NOW TAY-TAY 20:44 - MC Mung's "Tongue Punch Her Fart Box" 22:31 - KORN ' THE NOTHING' REVIEW 31:51 - TOOL 'FEAR INOCULUM' REVIEW 44:15 - This is the end....MY ONLY FRIEND, THE ENNNND. 45:33 - Dat special sauce at the end

DOUGIE IS BACK! JUST HOW YOU LIKE IT, YOU DIRTY LITTLE LISTENER.   Take it down a notch there, Doug.   YES, YES. RIGHT. I, THE DUNGEON MASTER, HAVE A NEW AND GRIPPING TALE OF DELICIOUS MEATS AND THE MEN WHO PROBE THEM. PLEASE SIT BACK AND ENJOY TALES OF TERROR'S RENDITION OF 'They're Made Out of Meat' BY Terry Bisson.

 Welcome to the second episode of season 2!!! This week, we make fun of vaping and Dougie (as usual), Hank stops by to commit a felony, we talk about groping Rob Zombie, Grimm plays with some boundaries, Red stands up for whats right even though she herself is often wrong, and we review some old Metalcore standards new albums!   SHOW BREAKDOWN: 0:00 - Intro 1:20 - Hank's Life Hanks (Hacks) 2:22 - Existential Crisis/Mandela Effects/Groping Zombies and Concert-Goers/Call Your Mom and Ask If You're Awful 27:10 - Dougie's Fantasy Corner Reviews Brothers of Metal - Yggdrasil 29:47 - REVIEW: Atreyu - In Our Wake (DELUXE) 42:24 - REVIEW: Killswitch Engage - Atonement 1:04:28 - THE END IS NIGH OH GOD SWEET BABY 9lb 10oz JESUS!

Today on Story Time, our hosts talk about music we've missed during the break, the finer points of wikipedia, and getting stalked by virtual virgins all from the comfort of our homes! Join us, won't you?

WE'RE BACK, BABY! Season 2 coming all over your face, just like you asked for it. Didn't you, you dirty listener? Join us as we meet a new psychobilly expert, catch up with a former degenerate and bring you new personal segments. Saddle up and hold tight, creeps and ghouls. Stuff's about to get real...as real as it can get....not real at all. Red's artist mention: @albogram ALBUM REVIEWS: Volbeat - Rewind, Replay, Rebound Slipknot - We Are Not Your Kind

Season 2 Premieres August 16th! Join your hosts, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb as they bring you all the things you never asked for! including SpeSHul guests! ROCKENSTEIN IS BACK, WITCHES!

Come with us on a journey through some of our favorite off kilter "ads" we've run over the season! With fake commercials like these, we're pretty sure we'll never find a real sponsor!  For sponsorship info contact Ryan Mansfield at Rockensteincast@gmail.com we promise we might not probably run an insane ad for you!

During the hosts nap time, we discuss Trivium's new cover song, Red has a musicgasm, Grimm tries not to get too irate at metal elitists (but he does), and  we dive into what's to come on the new Sea of Thieves One Year Anniversary Update! Featuring a tale of our latest sea-fairing adventure! Which we get irate at. It's gonna be a hoot!   *During a brief hockey conversation, Red said the Kings were in the playoffs with the Same, it was actually the Knights*   Music during Sea of Thieves chat provided by Freesounds.org, Song "Video Game" created by DJGriffin

ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US TONIGHT AS THE SEMI FINALS ARE... UPON US. THEY ARE HERE... YOU'RE UH.. YOU'RE LOOKING AT THEM, SO PRESS PLAY!!!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? OH RIGHT. A DESCRIPTION. TENACIOUS D, GHOST, THE KOFFIN KATS, AND IN THIS MOMENT ALL BATTLE FOR A SPOT IN THE FINALS AGAINST OUR MYSTERY FIGHTER! COME FOR THE LAUGHS, STAY FOR THE BLOOD! brought to you by hammerade sports drink, put the oink in your doink!

See? Even when the season is over we bring you fresh hot steamy content! Welcome to another edition of Tales of Terror! this week The Dungeon Master is forced to work while the rest of ROCKENSTEIN is on vacation because he cancelled our Wifi (its a whole stupid thing) So he's bringing you some fresh new chills for your spine! I hope you brought your big diapers today, because tonight we feature works from Edgar Allan Poe and HP Lovecraft. 

IT'S HERE! End of season 1. Much sadness. Join us as we go deep undercover to bust perverts with Chazz Hamson in another very special episode of ROCKENSTEIN! Super deep, b@lls deep. Also we meet a new member of the staff, and Red and Grimm talk about the inspiration for this episode! Thanks for tuning in this season and we will see you in TWO MONTHS with Season 2!!! WELL? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO! LISTEN!!! Show Breakdown: 00:00 - Show Intro/Newsline: ROCKENSTEIN Part One 04:02 - A Word From Our Sponsors/Kip Flanger's Thrift-O-Rama 05:16 - Journalist Names/Perverts Lie Badly/Pizza Before Jail/Taxasaurus Rex In A China Shop 19:34 - Newsline: ROCKENSTEIN Part 2 23:14 - I Prevail, TRAUMA Review 31:25 - Whitechapel, The Valley Review 38:50 - Devin Townsend, EMPATH Review 48:38 - Uranus (the end)

Bad news in the ROCKENSTEIN camp, but have no fear but a cold beer! Damn that sounds good right now... no I don’t care that it’s 8 am...

Am I real? Are you real? Is that naked clown on a unicycle even real? On a special story time, Grimm and Red discuss existential crises, the Koffin Kats concert and how not to get ruined by California weed......GRIMM. Tune in, turn it up and stop thinking in 90's cliches!

THE END OF SEASON IS NIGH! and with it, come Performance reviews. Tune in as Red and Grimm sit down with the usual band of morons and talk about their performance this year.  This episode we discuss the possibilities of dinosaurs taking up accounting jobs, our hosts get a little too open sexually, and we talk about our upcoming visit to see the Koffin Kats! All this plus album reviews! YES! WOW! GASP! I'll stop now. Album Reviews: Hot Lunch, Buckcherry, Children of Bodom.    Show Breakdown: 00:00 - Show Intro/Performance Reviews Part One 07:18 - A Word From Our Sponsors/Hammerade Lady Tampons 08:34 - Carlsaurus Rex/Lessons in Personal Sexuality/Reunited and It Feels So Good 23:22 - Performance Reviews Part Two 28:48 - Hot Lunch, Seconds Review* 35:28 - Buckcherry, Warpaint Review 41:40 - Children of Bodom, Hexed Review 47:32 - Credits Where Credits Due   * normally we have clips of the music we're reviewing, however we were unable to obtain a usable copy of music from this album to use in the pod

Welcome to another terror filled installment of TALES OF TERROR!!! we have two new terrifying tales to tell you tonight! That certainly was a lot of T's. Sometimes you just can't get what you want so you must take it yourself. Thats what happened with this woman and her husband in our first  Story, Life Within, by an unknown author. and The Little Shop Of Curiosities makes a return this episode much to Dougie's dismay! He has a tale about an unusual wig with an unusual past... SIMPSONS DID IT! And now ROCKENSTEIN did it!   (little shop of curiosities content written by teddy grimm)

Episode 18?! already?! Boy, where does the time go? only two more episodes to go in season 1! But don't worry, we will still be here to talk you through life, every week during the break!    On this episode of ROCKENSTEIN, Doc Rock comes back to show us his new creation DEATH METAL REGGAE, Hank has a helpful tip... nope... Hank has a tip... no.. Hank has some sentences for you, Grimm thinks about his coffee inappropriately, and Red gets angry this time. It's a hoot. Album Reviews: Badflower, Dream Theater, and In Flames.   Show Breakdown: 00:00 - Show Intro/Dr Rockenstein's Death Metal Reggae 05:30 - A Word From Our Sponsors/Hank's Life Hanks (Hacks) 07:07 - Unhealthy Obsessions/Nonsense/Childhood Trauma 17:50 - Grammy Coverage With Sal The Hardcore Kid 20:46 - Badflower - Ok, I'm Sick review 28:58 - Dream Theater - Distance Over Time review 32:48 - In Flames - I, The Mask review 39:14 - Closing Ceremonies

OH MY GOD ITS TOTAL PANDEMONIUM AT ROCKENSTEIN STADIUM AS BATTLE ROYALE IV KICKS OFF TONIGHT! THIS TIME WE SEE AUGUST BURNS RED, INSANE CLOWN POSSE, SEVENDUST, LACUNA COIL, BLOODSUCKING ZOMBIES FROM OUTER SPACE, AND IN THIS MOMENT GO AT IT IN A BLOODBATH OF RAINING BLOODY BLOOD! ITS MADNESS!!! SEE WHO ENDS UP ON TOP IN THE LAST BATTLE ROYALE BEFORE THE SEMI FINALS!!!