Meg-john And Justin

Saying I love you (this was meant to be out a couple of weeks ago but between us we've been ill/injured. Sorry about that) In the lead up to Valentine’s day, on the podcast we discuss saying ‘I love you’ and how it can be done consensually. In wider culture it’s generally assumed that if somebody feels love they should say ‘I love you’ without thought of the potential impact, it’s regarded as a bigger deal than expressing other feelings towards somebody, there is pressure to say it by a certain point in a relationship, it’s seen as romantic to surprise somebody with these words (e.g. in an anonymous Valentine), and if one person says it the other person is expected to say it back. None of this is very consensual to ourselves or others. We might think of love more as an action than a feeling - as bell hooks suggests - and instead of focusing on naming the feeling we could consider what might demonstrate love most to a person. If they don’t reciprocate that feeling then this may be more about what we don’t