The Flop House

We will never watch anything with nearly three hour bloat again, so enjoy the special snowflake that is us talking about the most recent Bayhem, Transformers: Age of Extinction. Meanwhile, Elliott explains how to find a Transformer's clitoris, Stuart keeps on Castle Freakin' on, and sleepy Dan (sort of) returns.Movies recommended in this episode:Winter LightZRock N Roll Nightmare

Recorded on 1/9/2015 in front of a live, sold out crowd in The Bell House in Gowanus, Brooklyn. A huge thanks to Mr. Matt Carman (1/2 of the excellent zine "I Love Bad Movies") for recording the show and making sure we sound as good as we do.

Merry Cagemas everyone! The store was all out of Left Behind (well... it hasn't been released to video or streaming yet), so we got you a Rage. We hope you're not too disappointed. Meanwhile Elliott reads the Looney Tunes dinner specials, Dan reveals the medical source of his word-slurring, and Stuart just can't stop chewing. Movies recommended in this episode:NightcrawlerFoxcatcherFor a Few Dollars More9 Deaths of the Ninja

Song of the autumn contest winner Jason MacIssac decreed that we should be subjected to legendary season-one-of-American-Idol ancillary flop From Justin to Kelly. Did he take it easy on us, or is there now a bounty on his head? Meanwhile Stuart introduces his innovative new restaurant concept, and Elliott murders Dan on air.  Movies recommended in this episode:Inherent ViceThe Hobbit: Battle of the Five ArmiesNine Days of One Year

A returning Flop House director guides a cast of returning Flop House stars in an eruption of mediocrity named Pompeii. Meanwhile Stu asks a provocative question about Cenobites, Elliott reveals an early draft of a Robert Louis Stevenson classic, and Dan debuts his new hit character. Movies recommended in this episode:VolcanoHouseboundThe HurricaneThe Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith

Detailed show notes canceled on account of Dan being sick with Mongolian death flu. Movies recommended in this episode:The Woman ChaserShort Term 12Phase IVJohn Wick

Thus  we enter November, the month known for having "No" theme. And, appropriately, we watched one of the most generic of modern action sequels, 300: Rise of an Empire. Meanwhile, Elliott lectures on Noid avoidance, Dan makes a public apology relating to one type of music and attacks another, and Stu makes an exciting announcement for enjoyers of comical books.

Shocktober continues/ends with Dario Argento totally forgetting everything he knew about filmmaking (and we don't even like him that much) with Dracula 3D. Meanwhile, Dan reveals the alternate, director's cut ending to Escape (The Pina Colada Song), Elliott out-pervs the pervazoid with his demands for more nudity, and Stuart once again astounds with his facility for accents. Movies recommended in this episode:Shadow of the VampireDuelThe Hitcher

BOOOOOGENS! Welcome to the first episode of SHOCKTOBER 2014 (and the first episode officially under our new podcast network, MaxFun). And because we would never Halloween trick you, instead we're treating you to a guest appearance by Hallie Haglund, sitting in with the OP's, to discuss The Quiet Ones. Meanwhile, Elliott lists all the great MaxFun podcasts, Stuart once again shows his ignorance of all things Internet, and Hallie puts Dan in his place. Movies and TV recommended in this episode: From BeyondThe ReturnedWitchboardThe Hidden

Smalltember continues with perhaps the smallest movie we've ever covered, the bad movie new classic "A Talking Cat!?!" Meanwhile Stuart entertains the lizard representative of Harlem, Elliott gives helpful mnemonic devices for the major German directors, and Dan does some research into the pervy past of the movie's creative team. Movies recommended in this episode:Intimate LightingThe GuestEnemy

The OP's are all back in action, celebrating the all-NEW made-up holiday of "Smallvember." First up, the Christsploitation film "God's Not Dead" filled with the straw-manniest straw men outside of a county fair.  Meanwhile Elliott and Detective Columbo disprove the flat Earth theory, Stuart reveals a surprising knowledge of the Christian rock genre, and Dan announces a new contest! Movies recommended in this episode:Jodorowsky's DuneThe Last of SheilaThe One I Love

Thanks to his series of enraged tweets on the matter, we invited comedy writer and pop culture expert Kevin Maher on the show to discuss the enragingly anthropomorphized Walking with Dinosaurs. Meanwhile Dan pervazoids up the Crypt Keeper, Kevin unleashes his dad rage, and Stuart yet again shows his understanding of America's youth.Movies recommended in this episode:Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1982)Into the Woods (American Playhouse, 1991)Drinking BuddiesCloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

No movie has sexualized pastry so much since American Pie, yet somehow Labor Day is even less erotic than Jason Biggs balls-deep in apple filling. Meanwhile Stuart does some brilliant voice work, Dan loves the versatility of DVDs, and Elliott regales the world with Tales of Ruck.Movies recommended in this episode:The Crazies (1973)The Crazies (2010)Edge of TomorrowAlan Partridge

With audiences primed to be disappointed by a new Hercules movie in theaters, why not be like the Peaches and be disappointed by The Legend of Hercules in the comfort of your own home. Meanwhile Elliott tells us the secrets of the ancient Greek hamburger, Dan has uncanny recall for old Disney cartoons, and Stuart tells sad tales of British totty.Movies recommended in this episode:SnowpiercerThe Lego MovieThe Hunger Games: Catching Fire12 Years a SlaveMuppets Most Wanted Jack Ryan: Shadow RecruitDogtoothZ

Producer Luc Besson and director McG made a bet about the number of tones they could cram into 3 Days to Kill, and the audience lost. Meanwhile Elliott does his classic "2000 Year-Old Killer" routine, Dan gets more inappropriately sexual than ever before, Stu introduces the concept of a "neck baby," and TVs Jessica Williams stops by, because why the heck not?Movies recommended in this episode:The LimeyThey Came TogetherObvious ChildThe Sea Wolf

We discuss Last Vegas, which is, of course, a documentary from the far future about the time the elderly Original Peaches and friend went to Las Vegas. Meanwhile Dan unveils his totally original, copyrighted concept, Elliott reveals how he does creep research, and Stu pulls out a letters surprise.Movies recommended in this episode:Stop Making SenseLolaStakeland

Yes, Elliott, it should be called I, Frankenstein's Monster, but that doesn't change the fact that we watched I, Frankenstein. Meanwhile Elliott reveals the secret sex fetishes of Archie Comics characters, we learn Stuart's nicknames, and Dan asks the big metaphysical questions.Movies recommended in this episode:The GrannyThe Wages of FearDeceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky JayWhat's the Matter With Helen?

Despite being one of the more nothing movies we've ever watched, we somehow crap out what we believe to be our longest episode with G.I. Joe: Retaliation. It's a living. Meanwhile, Dan and Elliott explain what "G.I. Joe" means, and develop President Ziggy, and Stuart reveals he's an evil land developer.Movies recommended in this episode:Raising CainVideodromeDeath Rides a Horse

We discuss Easy Rider: The Ride Back, an object lesson in why you should never let a movie's sequel rights lapse. Meanwhile Dan explains the Flop House fan caste system, Elliott puts the "bar" in barter, and Stuart knows nothing about robots.Movies recommended in this episode:Blade IIThe EastMy Dinner With Andre

1980 was a simpler time, when you could put Clint Eastwood together with an orangutan, not bother to come up with a story, and release it as a major motion picture called Any Which Way but Loose (check out We Hate Movies doing the first film in the "Clint goes ape" series, Every Which Way but Loose HERE). Meanwhile Dan runs through several impeccable celebrity impressions, Elliott explains a rare sex act, and Stu discusses what orangutans did to get orangutan news before Google alerts.Movies recommended in this episode:Blue RuinI Saw the DevilShock Corridor