Dear Hank & John

Do a lot of people swerve? What constitutes black coffee? How do I make mac and cheese if I don't have milk? What is the rage/luck relationship when it comes to pennies? How do I find out my therapist's name? Should I give books to people who don't like to read? How should I deal with family drama? How do I get my charger back? Is it time to rip off the Band-Aid? John and Hank have (dubious) advice! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

What is the proper thing to do with abandoned table beer? What's the best way to spend time on trains? How do I move on when my favorite show ends? How do I sleep in without waking up with a backache? Should I have played "The Imperial March" at a wedding? Are you allowed to use the soap in another person's shower? Why do some carrots taste earthier than others? Why isn't there a Neptune Day? What should I do about Gavin's grass ideas? John and Hank have dubious advice! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

How do I fairly distribute my hugs? Could black holes suck up the Earth? How do I change the way I walk? How can I support my stressed-out dad? What's the best way to receive negative performance reviews? What do I do if I vomit at work? Why don't ants die when they fall from heights? Who should play me in the movie of my life? John and Hank have (dubious) answers! The poem John mentions at the beginning of the episode is "The Palace" by Kaveh Akbar, found here. If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

How do you open an envelope? How do companies turn attention into money? What's the deal with the itsy bitsy spider? And more! Get your signed desk sword!!! https://store.dftba.com/products/john-green-signed-desk-swords If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Who owns the bones? Why are American coins so confusing? Would dragon eggs have scales? And more! Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

How do you deal with saying something wrong publicly? How far does a squirrel's social sphere extend? Can I ask my friend questions about her surgery? And more! Thanks to Helen Zaltzman for being a temporary Green brother this week! Find more of Helen's work at helenzaltzman.com. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

How do you stay focused on one project for a long time? Should I tell this stranger to examine their zipper? Are there other kinds of ketchup? And more! Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Are our voices actually slightly deeper? What's going on with paperclips? How do I keep out the chickens? And more! Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

When are you too old to read YA? How do you get lost in a healthy way? Are there entire civilizations on the bottom of the ocean? And more! Check out Jana's YouTube channel: youtube.com/aFriendlyArab This episode was recorded live at VidCon London 2019! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

How do I win the bird hospitality battle? Are the keys part of the car? How do I get better at creative writing? And more! You can listen to more Hank & Katherine in Delete This! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Should I pretend to dislike my sister? How do I not put too much pressure on my dream job? How much salt does it take to mummify a person? And more! Keep learning from Danielle in Origin of Everything! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

How do I propose to my girlfriend if I can't get down on one knee? How do I get rid of a bad nickname? Should I cause chaos? And more! This episode was recorded live at PodCon 2 in Seattle, WA. If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

How do I know if I'm being a know-it-all? How do we survive the 2020 presidential election? At what point does a flying fish become a swimming bird? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Should penguins go to Mars? Why do we chew rubber? Is this frantic, indecisive squirrel okay? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

What should I put in my journal? Should I sign a card for someone I don't know? What do I do when strangers tell me my shoes are untied? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Am I too old to race down hotel hallways? Is there a stranger in my attic? How do you make plans with a subgroup of friends? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

What should I do at prom by myself? Can ghosts ride in cars? How do you end a voicemail? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

How do I stop receiving so many Peeps? Why do I have to sneeze immediately after I put on mascara? How do I use a bus? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

What do I do when all my friends hang out without me? Are beans basically small potatoes? How do you smuggle a swan internationally? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

How do I teach a class I know almost nothing about? What if humans had tails? Why can’t you walk through a drive-through? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Get your PodCon tickets at podcon.com!