Id10t With Chris Hardwick

The guys all realize they're much better off than they thought they were. *cue Wonder Years theme* (Nerdist listeners get $10 off snazzy new earbuds at tweakedaudio.com/nerdist) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wil. Whea. Ton. FINALLY. Never before heard stories of young Wil and young Chris: Strippers! D&D! Surgery! Saucy Picard! This episode will smear goodness onto the walls of your entertainment gland. This episode was sponsored by Falcon Northwest Computer Systems! Visit falcon-nw.com! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jonah broke his arm and Chris broke Matt's feelings because Matt broke the news that he's never had a major failure. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Colin Hanks' spoon is too big. Also, he wants to (and should) make a documentary about Tower Records. ADDITIONALLY, Colin, Chris, Jonah and Matt turn a critical eye toward "Howard the Duck", and then re-live their youth by forming a theoretical Voltron boner for Lea Thompson. Many thanks to our sponsor for this episode, Falcon Northwest Computer Systems! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The lads chat about death, Mexican food and the Police Academy cartoon. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Zach Galifianakis joined us in front of hundreds of nerds at SF Sketchfest '11 for the beginning of our SECOND SEASON! Zach admitted he chews tobacco, Matt admitted he wants a pet tapeworm, Jonah admitted he once scammed a bartender, and Chris (okay, me) admitted he (I) still hasn't (haven't) seen "The Hangover". I know! I know! I'll get to it!!!! This ep was brought to you by Falcon Northwest Computer Systems [falcon-nw.com] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Our second guestless cast finds the gents broadcasting from a haunted storage closet at the Punch Line Comedy Club in San Francisco during SF Sketchfest. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"Who's Line" alum Greg Proops is an amazing improvisor and does a spot-on Thomas Alva Edison. Chris, Jonah and Matt must have all wondered at some point that if Edison were a woman, would she have patented the electric tampon? And how could they NOT have called it "MenFlow Park"? #ThisIsWhyISpendALotOfTimeAlone See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

HURRAYS!!! The Nerdist Podcast moves to TWO times a week! That's a whole extra time! Our mid-week shows will usually be guestless and explore the nerdly triumvirate dynamics of Chris, Jonah & Matt. Join us, WON'T YOU??? #DOUBLERAINBOW #ThatsAnOldReferenceAlready #HashtaggingOutsideOfTwitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Nick Kroll (The League, Fabrice Fabrice, Bobbie Bottleservice, name rhymes with "Rickroll") got heckled by a grip while auditioning for SNL. He didn't get the job. For this reason, you should feel bad for him and watch his one hour comedy special "Thank You Very Cool," premiering Saturday, January 29th at 10p ET on Comedy Central. Chris, Matt & Jonah were able to suspend a single muon in a makeshift particle accelerator and tear the very fabric of space-time. In the first timestream, these last three sentences didn't exist. They reached backwards through a charged portal and added them just to freak your brain out if you happening to be on strong drugs while reading this. Yes, you. I'M TALKING TO YOU. I'm sure the drugs have kicked in. Now waffle keyhole iron boot! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TOTAL PODMASH as we recorded at the Smodcastle on 1/12! The boys and Kevin Smith discuss Zsa Zsa, Darth Vader's sexy parts and the REAL story behind Ferris Bueller. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sarah Silverman took videos of her boyfriend Alec wielding a lightsaber and her dog Duck's bleeding anus (both posted at nerdist.com, naturally). Chris has a dog named "Scott" whose anus is a-ok,  Jonah finds Hawaiian comedy particularly racist and Matt has a herniated disc. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Podcast worlds collide like tectonic plates in a fiery cataclysm as the boys of Nerdist join forces with the boy of WTF! It's the bad-assiest way to kick off Tweleven. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stand-up comedy special with Chris Fairbanks, Jackie Kashian, Jonah Ray, Kumail Nanjiani, Paul Cibis, Kyle Kinane & Matt Braunger. Hosted by Chris Hardwick. Recorded at Meltdown Comics in LA on December 15, 2010 in front of a live nerd audience. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Sklar Brothers are the only twin comedy team I can think of outside of Cheng & Eng or the Sagal sisters. They hosted "Cheap Seats," wrote/produced/starred in "Back on Topps" (a phenomenal web series) and are currently making podcasts under the "Sklarbro Country" name. Nice guys who are hilarious. WHAT MORE DO YOU VULTURES WANT???!! Oh. Apologies. There was no need for me to yell at you and I'm sorry. But sometimes you just make me so MAD, Baby...What? Ok. FINE. Go to your mother's. Like she needs more ammo against me. REAL mature, Karen! I CAN SLAM DOORS TOO, YA KNOW! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In addition to invading your brain with iconic characters such as Stimpy (and later Ren), Fry, & Doug, Billy West also did funny make-em-ups on the Howard Stern show in the early 90s. IF THAT TWEREN'T ENOUGH he's also a world class musician. In this chat, he piled so much fascinating insight into the psyche of the comedian onto the show that our brain-roofs caved in under the pressure of awesomeness. I am convinced that the recent Metrodome incident happened SOLELY for the purpose of providing an appropriate metaphor to relate it. Plus, he's nice, which is always my favorite thing. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mayhem Miller is an MMA wizard who is powerful yet benevolent. His hands are lethal wands that can cast punching and/or hugging spells: YOUR CHOICE! He also hosts the MTV show "Bully Beatdown," which is just as satisfying as the name promises. Most importantly, he's an interesting dude with a good heart and a solid work ethic. We forgot to ask why Tommy Lee has his named tattooed across his stomach. #wokkawokka #hashtaggingoutsidetwitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam Carolla makes his triumphant return to the Nerdist Podcast while dominating the medium with his own show. This time, Adam takes issue with rude male receptionists, radio program directors and "The Love Boat," while promoting his new book In 50 Years We'll All Be Chicks, available here. This episode was brought to you by Hiney Wine and Hickory Lube. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR MATT SMITH!!! Anyone who follows anything I do probably has heard my numerous blabbings about how much I love Doctor Who. After one such blabbing on the tweetstream, I was contacted by Devin Johnson at the BBC who graciously offered to help get Matt on the podcast if at all possible. AND SO IT CAME TO PASS. I would like to smother Devin, Matt Stein and the BBC with an absurd pile of thanks. Matt Smith loves chess, Alan Partridge and cookies. Every charming character trait you see in the Eleventh Doctor is all Matt. It was an extreme pleasure hanging out with him, and we look forward to some sweet Doctor on Dickens action for the Doctor Who Xmas special on December 25th, 9p ET on BBC America. Joining me this episode were fellow Whovians Matt Mira and Janet Varney. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kevin Pollak collects Disney Haunted Mansion memorabilia. ALSO he has a dang popular chat show on the Webs, soon to be the TV/Webs what with technology and all. Chris likes the movie "Willow". Jonah Ray was out. Matt Mira's insurance company is having their way with him after a mystery person beat up his car and removed most of the show's recording equipment.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.