Delight Your Marriage

How to enjoy sex as a woman. We as women have so much going on. So many commitments and responsibilities. Busy.  For women its a slow process to transition from life to physical intimacy. (For men, not so much). For us, its slow and it should be. Its an opening. Its a releasing. Its a being invited into her divinely orchestrated womanhood.   What does it feel like to be in touch of your body? Why does touch matter? Being in your body. Being attentive to the touch of your body will help you enjoy making love. I explain what I mean and how you can do this practically.    I give you some centering practices that will move you into a centering place where you can receive and be fully with the love making experience. Letting yourself experience it all. What to do when your mind wanders. What if there is whole other way of experiencing sex than you and your husband have tried--and it is a more spiritual experience that you might have imagined. Touch outside the body, but what are you feeling on the inside of your R

Embodying your Sexuality P1 & P2, Episode 160 & Episode 161. "Save sex for marriage". A wise piece of advice. But because I didn't learn anything about it's value, I just assumed it was nasty.  But I never learned about my Ressa. Why your Ressa needed to be reframed and renamed:  Ressa = Receiving him into your Essence  (Feel free to keep the name you feel most comfortable with. However, I don't feel comfortable using the words publicly on this show, that to me either evoke negative/pornographic connotations or are medical terms that don't include all the areas and don't capture the radiance of your essence.)  We as Christian women often don't respect it or honor it as wonderful good.  A lot of negative and embarrassing things happened while learning how to grow up with a Ressa. You may have a negative view of it just because of the way you grew up. Episode 110 Luke Gilkerson how to raise healthy sexual kids.   Is it awkward to consider God coming into the room with your husband and you making love?

When you're confident in your body you're not being prideful, you're humbly acknowledging His gift of your body. Your beauty is not a question is a statement. God knit you together, counted your hairs. He cares about all the incredible intracacies of your body.  It matters what you do with it. God is all about the spirit and mind and soul. But He also says love the Lord with all your strength. Your body is important to God. Jesus talked about the body when describing a husband and wife. Sexual immorality is not ok. It matters to God how you use your body. What you do with your body matters to Him. And the way you think about your body matters to Him. Your body valuable.  Every time you look at the mirror you're judging your body. You're seeing if you look ok or if you're pretty enough. Stop looking in the mirror. What space of your life, energy, time, desire is taken up by the desire to be the world's standard of beauty? Is that going to matter in eternity? Why are we obsessed with it now?  I think you'll enj

I thought my body was gross. I thought God didn't give me a good one. God changed my perspective. Now that insecurity has become fierce respect for this wonder God has given me.  Now I'm convinced that we as women are jewels. Our bodies are of the highest value. And we should not put our jewels before swine. Your body should be adored by someone who deserves it. By someone who serves you, respects you and makes you feel worth it. Your husband (though he himself is a work in progress) is the only one who fits the bill. Tips: Assume the attraction is there.  Practice affirmations. I do this with my clients and this is one of the most effective strategies. Spend time journaling rather than eating. Eating allows us to numb ourselves from the difficulties of life. We stuff ourselves with food so we don't feel.  You are not being cocky by telling yourself you're gorgeous. Your body is God's work of art. He gets the credit. God made you beautiful. When you get compliments, receive it and give the glory to God in yo

Welcome to this brand new series all about body. Body image, food issues, body acceptance, comfort in sex... all of it affects how you make love.  But who made it? Is it yours? Are you responsible for how it looks? My body image struggles caused me great pain throughout my life. It was my "project." It was my obsession. It was my thing that made me feel OK but also horrible. But as my eating increased, so did my body. And I hated it. I wanted to get liposuction. I prayed God would make me thin. I prayed He'd increase my metabolism. I ordered many ridiculous contraptions that were supposed to make me lose the weight. I binged. I purged. I share about my eating disorder and what God has brought me out of. Even the times I did lose the weight, did it fix my life? Or were there still things underneath that were still broken? You can imagine what this all meant about my sex life and connecting to my husband. If you're anything like me, this is a journey. And in this series where I want to join with you on this str

In the long view of your 100 years on earth, what is going to matter in THIS season?  I had an abrupt and unsettling realization when I had a parent teacher conference a few weeks ago. Though I believe I was discerning God's will and way for my life. I don't believe I was pursuing it in God's timing.  And that is one of the central themes around today's podcast. What is your season (mine is a quarter inch) in the grand scheme of life? And what matters most right now.  From there, what do you do with that understanding? How does it become practical and lived out? Some topics covered: The enemy wants to distract you from what matters in eternity Parenting requires focus, I was allowing other "priorities" take that focus.. which now I realize was foolishness given my season Distractions include Netflix, Youtube, Facebook, Instagram, food (a personal struggle I'll talk more about in the new year)... just to name a few.   — Check out Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife’s manual for passion and confidence in

Sexual intimacy should be a place of rest. It can even become a "haven for me".  In this interview, Juli Slattery, of Authentic Intimacy, talks about the spiritual priority of sexual intimacy in marriage and the passion involved in covenant love. She also discusses which Sexual acts are ok? How do you know if it's a conscience thing or just a comfort thing?  Has God said no to this?  Is this loving and beneficial, is it good for us? Is it only us? We don't grow in anything unless we push past our comfort. Learn how to become great lovers. How to be able to lose control? Either a fear or a lie. ---  Check out Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife's manual for passion and confidence in intimacy  

When you think about the women of the Bible who comes to mind? Ruth, the loyal daughter who served her widowed mother-in-law. Esther, who risked her life to save her people. The hardworking Proverbs 31 wife. Mary, the teenage girl who's heart was so tender before the Lord that He chose her to be Jesus' mother.  Yes. The women in the Bible are incredible and should be aspired to. Did you immediately think of the Song of Solomon? Probably not. Not because she doesn't take up space in the scriptures. Actually she has more spoken words than any woman in the whole Bible. But we probably haven't heard many sermons about her. (There's plenty of reasons why... a discussion for another time). I'm joined by intimacy expert Dr. Juli Slattery. And we discuss the desire and pleasure of the woman (in the Bible) of the Song of Solomon.  God wanted us to hear and understand that desire. He wanted us to see the holiness in it. What does this mean to your marriage? How can you apply this in your marriage? delightyourmarriage.c

He proposed to me over fast food in a parking lot. I think it might have been drizzling.  Well he's not that man anymore. God has changed him. He has brought him in so many ways to a place that I could not have imagined were possible. Truly.  I hope this podcast inspires you. I hope it empowers you to make the hard choices for yourself to see what God might want to allow you to think about.  At the end I tell you about the amazing anniversary experience my husband gave me. And I tell you about the newly weds having the exact same experience but were much less enthused.    I've extended the discount for 1 week! 1:1 Coaching with Belah is 30% off. Click here for details!   

This is Part 3 of Why we became romantic. I was a generous wife in intimacy and I felt loved in some areas, but I didn't feel loved outside of the bedroom. The romance on dates, the random gifts, the consistent compliments, the surprises were missing.  (Part 1 is more of the theory behind it and Part 2 is the beginning of my discussion with my husband that exemplifies this process.)   Being happy and pleasable makes my husband motivated to plan and give me big surprises  My husband takes note of "I would like" but rejects specific commands. "Its not what you say, its the way you say it." Deciding where to focus, the negatives are easy to remember. When you say it, it stays in the records. Encouragement "erases" the bad Before I surrendered I was in charge of the finances, and now that he is, we're much happier (less stress for me and more confidence for him) I am closest to my husband so I can affect him the most: in your self-conception, who you are in the world Ultimately, Belah's husbands feel her change

I encourage you to first listen to Part 1 here. Today, you get to hear the gory details of how awful I was...from my husband. He is giving you all the dirt on me, for your benefit (hopefully!). There's a ton of mistakes I made that I thought was helping, but was actually driving a severe wedge between us. I was making it impossible for him to love me in the ways I was desperate for him to love me. God has taught me a ton in my marriage. But by God's grace, He continues to teach me. I thought I had it all figured out---but I had a lot more to learn. Through The Surrendered Wife book, I learned so much and I made important changes. But here's my journey of understanding, right from my own husband. In part 2, you'll hear what was really going on behind closed doors. All the big mistakes I made which was wreaking havoc on my marriage though I had no idea. Why my husband didn't want to go to weddings & social events that I so desperately wanted him to attend. How my insecurity caused my husband to be more ins

You may have thought you chose the right man when you were dating, but suddenly things changed when you got married. He stopped trying. He stopped woo-ing you and just took you for granted. When was the last time he took you on a date? Its so tough to feel that if he just tried a little you'd be happy. Its an awful feeling. The good news is it can change with these steps. Its hard work on our end, but it makes big differences in the marriage. I was totally surprised to find out the very things I was doing that I thought was "helping" was actually pulling the rug out from under him.  When I gave him advice, corrected, explained and taught him...he took that to mean I thought he was stupid. When I critiqued and guided for next time...he felt the rug was pulled out from under him, criticized and that there was no pleasing me. So why try?   The key principles: husbands want to be respected. Women want to be cherished. Does your craving for real intimacy in your marriage win, over your need to be in control? Lets

There's a lot we can do to make our love lives more lively. More than you might have thought. What about making sex into a game? Here's a wife who made a Christian app that makes sex more fun for all of us! Amy's passion has come out of a place of understanding the significant impact that comes out of a place of marital intimacy. This is the second half of her interview and it is so important for us all to prioritize and enjoy making love. We all can only be so creative---Why not get a little help to make it more fun and spicy?  Her desire is to make more marriages succeed. So much of the app is free, I would really encourage you to check it out: ultimateintimacy.com At the end of the interview, Amy walks us through step by step how the game works (so you can download and walk with her through how to use it).   My other encouragement I share on the podcast, is maybe you're not at a place where an app will help you spice things up. Maybe there are significant challenges that need to be worked through before yo

Financial challenges aren't easy. They are in fact the #1 reason for divorce. How did her marriage survive when things got really stressful financially? When you're stressed tensions run high in the household. Often the last thing on your mind (especially for women) is making love.  And this wife and mother believes it is what brought them through the serious challenges in their marriage.  God doesn't promise us an easy life. We will have struggles throughout this side of eternity. But, our marriage can be a place of respite. (CAN being the operative word). Listen to hear how this wife was able to work--during the stress--to keep her relationship with her man strong, so they were unified in facing those challenges.  30% off for Intimacy Coaching with Belah until Nov 24, 2017.

I get so many emails from husbands. I want to send a message to their wives...the wife I used to be. I was a wife who saw sex as Dirty Wrong Ungodly Scary He was sinning for wanting it Too much work I didn't like it / it hurt / I didn't know what to do I don't have time I don't have energy What's in it for me? He's way too interested in sex And so I avoided it and got resentful that the things I was doing wasn't appreciated. He kept asking me to learn more... and I got angrier. Well God has changed my heart on this. I have discovered that God made my husband's member, and I am his wife. It is my privilege to be a part of intimacy with him. I am his only means of receiving this vital fulfillment righteously. I believe this podcast will bring you closer to God. If you're anything like I was, I wish I had known this even before I got married. If I could only understand what sex meant to him. If I could only understand God's purposes for it. I pray this would be something husbands can give to their wives (when

Now that you know the value of your sexuality (from Part 1), what does it mean to share that with your spouse? I was a woman so insecure and unaware of the beauty of my body that it shocked me to realize the attraction my husband felt towards me. It took a while to actually come to accept it was true. But from there, to become fierce in the bedroom, that was another process. That's what we're going into today. What does it mean to captivate your man? How do you "embody your sexuality" with your husband? What we cover: Why seduction matters to the heart of your man. Why seduction indicates the value you feel about your own sexuality. What if seduction/sexiness just isn't part of your personality? How do you become one that loves what you might have grown up thinking was gross? Practical things you can do (today!) that will go a long way to becoming fierce in the bedroom   Interested in going further? Become a woman who has the intimacy you (and he) crave. Sign up for coaching with Belah. 

After releasing Episode 56 & 57, I realized the good guys needed an episode. I may have been a bit too harsh on those episodes. So, I have this updated/revised/clarified/contextualized episode to give a bit more grace and kindness to the good guys, looking to love and be loved in sexual intimacy with their wives.

Part 1: You want to captivate your man. Is that even possible, you may ask? Am I captivating? It was a process for me to move from thinking my sexuality (body + "Ressa") was gross to then accept and embody my sexuality as a gift from God to walk out (exclusively) in my marriage. But as I did, I found my confidence and identity began to shift into a woman who knows her value, who is fiercely aware of the jewel she is...and how that informs and transforms her marriage.  How do you walk this out? How do you become a woman who knows her value and allows that to inform her intimacy? How to make your husband get distracted with fantasies of you, his own wife? Ultimately this is a God-honoring podcast that moves you closer to him by empowering you to become the woman God designed you to be when he gave you your sexuality. Specific things discussed: -What embodying your sexuality DOESN'T mean  -Understanding what your body means to men -Why our lady parts are ignored  -How lady parts need a new name and identity in y

If I told you how my husband proposed to me, you would be shocked that I said yes (well I didn't exactly...but that's a different story...). But that is not the man I have today. Just this past weekend, Mr. Romance, surprised me by making dinner, getting our 2 toddlers ready, packing extra toys to keep them occupied, packing an entire picnic, bringing wine glasses and my favorite bottle of wine... which we enjoyed in the park under the stars.  Stuff like this is pretty normal and I believe The Surrendered Wife (by Laura Doyle) and Delight Your Husband (by me, Belah Rose) are the two resources that are most significant to this transformation. If you get the surrendered stuff (Surrendered Wife) and the sex stuff (Delight Your Husband), give it 6 months and you will have an incredible man...I truly believe it.   Author of Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle, is on for the second part of her interview. (I hope you'll listen to the first part to see how sad and broken her marriage was). But, its amazing to see what happ

(Part 1)  Her husband didn't want to spend time with her. He was apathetic towards her. He would rather watch television than even make love to her. Now he can't keep his eyes and hands off her :) Dancing in the kitchen, less stress and glorious compliments are just side benefits. Laura Doyle's work began a marriage-changing transformation for me. Laura Doyle, best selling author, speaker and coach. The book I love the most: The Surrendered Wife (though I'd prefer to call it "How to Stop Stressing and Start Enjoying" or "How to Get Your Husband to Become The Man of Your Dreams") (If you've listened for a while you'll know I posted this interview over a year ago, but we all need a refresher, so I thought you wouldn't mind if I posted it again!) Find out more about Laura: Lauradoyle.org and getcherished.com And PLEASE read Surrendered Wife. I am incredibly grateful that I did! Its a marriage (and man) changer. delightyourmarriage.com