Delight Your Marriage

"I can't go on like this" "I don't think we can make this work"  "I'm at the end of my rope" (what I hear the MOST) I hate these phrases. They're not literal, and they mean this person is in severe pain. I am sad about that. I am sad that you're in such heartache. I'm sorry that you feel so alone, frustrated, discouraged and desperate.  But I want you to have hope. I want you to have FAITH for your marriage.  Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."   If you've been fighting with your spouse... there's stuff you can do. God hates divorce not because He's waiting for you to mess up and wants you to be miserable and live in suffering... but because divorce shreds hearts--what God has joined together--that which has become ONE FLESH. What that disconnects it truly shreds humans, families, children.   I love working with people who are on

Is easygoing a personality trait or a skill? I am definitely NOT a natural "easy-goer". Most of my life, I have generally had an opinion and if asked I could find one pretty quickly. I generally have had a schedule and way in which I'd like things done. And I'm extremely goal-oriented and don't have a lot of patience for those who aren't. Well, those can be super qualities for productivity and work, they're not necessarily the best for marriage. We've gone through a path. I've learned a lot.  And here he and I chat about my journey into the skill of "easygoing" and my conviction that if we want the peace God wants us to walk in, we have to seek to develop this skill as well.    -- If you're craving intimacy in your marriage--if you're a man or a woman--I want to help you! God has designed marriage and I believe SEX SHOULD BE BETTER IN MARRIAGE. The foundation of our marriage is God, emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. Each are vital for you to do God's work fueled out of the love cultivated in your marr

Sexless + Controlling = miserable husband Sex-Full + Controlling = miserable husband Sexless + Non Controlling = miserable husband   Sadly, sexless or controlling or both are the biggest problems I see. And this is what I hear from husbands that are desperate for change. I want to help you!   JFYI My husband said this is one of the best podcasts ever---he has only said that 1 other time (!) so I hope this is one that is helpful for you.   I talk about foundational truths about men and women that I don't hear people shouting from the rooftops---but they should be! Learn how to strategically change what is going on in your marriage!   Sadly, sexless or controlling or both are the biggest problems I see. And this is what I hear from husbands that I work with. I want to help you!   1) Come on my free webinar TOMORROW, Friday, May 24, 2019 at 7:30pm EST: The 7 Blocks to Her Libido: Remove these for generous intimacy in your marriage Sign up www.delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks   ---- 2) I used to be a CONTROLLING w

Yep... MY husband said this! Like last week.   What did he mean? Maybe you're a wife that has insecurities like me? After a wonderfully intimate evening, I came clean about something I had been struggling with for a while. He was able to give ear to my heart and hear that I was feeling pain that I wasn't even aware I was hiding from him.   Various husbands have expressed confusion as to why a wife wouldn't want him looking at others while at the SAME TIME she's hiding her curves he LONGS to see!   As a wife, I get it and I stumble in this way too. If I am not vigilant I can fall just like the enemy wants us all to. I think it's sin because we're separating ourselves from God and what He wants us to do... (Quite literally) our husbands. :)   Maybe you're a husband who doesn't "get it". I have some important insights for you too!   Further... I'm EXTREMELY excited to invite you on a LIVE Webinar with me coming up!    On Fri, May 24 & Sun, June 2, 7:30pm EST I'll be hosting a LIVE FREE WEBINAR:  WHAT'S BLOC

Do you want unity in your marriage? Do you want her to feel safe to be utterly vulnerable and literally naked before you? Then it is NOT helpful for her to know your past sex life.  You probably have forgotten plenty of your past, but once you've told her it will stay with her for years--even decades. Whatever sexual sin you've had before (or even the porn you've done while) is sin. It's your job as a man to discipline your mind, and your actions to be faithful to her. But if you're making her your "accountability partner" it's like saying: "honey, I'm trying not to look at other women, imagine them naked and pretend having sex with them". That will hurt her. Get your act together sir, get to a church, get vulnerable with someone--don't do this in isolation but don't load your dirty laundry on her. Because this will make it HARDER for her to make love (and of course that's what would actually HELP you avoid the temptations anyway). So, whether you think you're just "being honest" you do not need to be unwise

I have been late to get a podcast out to you...for a pretty important reason. My brother was found on the side of the road without a pulse. I raced to the hospital several states away and arrived when the doctors told us he may be brain dead---we found out they were considering putting him on life-support. No one knew how long he was there without blood pumping through his body.    But God. My family reached out to loved ones, Christians, churches, friends, friends of friends all asking for prayer in faith for healing. Standing on the word--by His stripes we are healed, the prayer of faith shall heal you, lay hands on the sick and they shall recover... Standing on His promises of Jesus' healing. All asking for God's miraculous intervention.   The story of Lazarus came up OVER and OVER again--my sister was in a play, her paster and my pastor in different states preached on it, a Lazarus song came up 2x, and 2 dreams about Lazarus. We prayed that my brother would be raised like Lazarus.   It's pretty incredible

What if you're a wife that has WAY lower libido than your husband? If you feel like this is just physiologically the way you were made, I want to help. I think there's a lot more to you and the way you're set up sexually. I, Belah Rose, "the sexpert", can easily say I have a low libido. Does that keep me and my husband from having an incredible sex life? Fierce, firey, sensual, spiritual... And I get turned on too and get excited about making love! So... I don't think your libido/"natural" sex drive has to prevent you either! Listen in to find out the top 3 things you need to know if you have a LOW sex drive. And how to turn that around. How I did and do. But what if HE is the one with the low sex drive? Ouch! So sorry, I know that's so hard! There are several important questions you need to be asking. I help you to sort through what could be the real source of the issues and how to overcome them. Are you contributing to the issue or COULD be contributing to live the solution? -- What’s a Clarity Call: You ca

My husband is a very wise man. Probably the wisest I've met (and I get to live with him! :) :) :) )   Listeners have asked to hear from my husband and I'm glad because he has a lot of wonderful & helpful things to share! I think his message has nuggets that any and every marriage will benefit from!   -- If you're a husband... I'm about to pilot a brand new program:   Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again!   I have SO many men--may be like yourself--whose wives wouldn’t dream of hearing my work or considering changing their behavior or even understanding those needs.    By Gods grace, I understand men AND women and this would be the program to bridge the gap for MEN to understand their wives and motivate her to WANT sex rather than REPEL her FROM it (as unfortunately, most of them are :( ).     It would be an all-male group coaching with me. This would allow men to share their situations and I would advise on the female perspective and give teachings (all t

Productiveness IS  good, but we forget that we're not just human doers -- we're also human beings. Take the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was working hard and being productive FOR JESUS. Mary was calmly sitting, being still and LISTENING TO JESUS. Both were Godly women. And Jesus even defended Mary for “choosing the good part” when Martha accused her of not DOING. Consider how Jesus modeled JOY and DELIGHT --  not just productivity. He certainly “did” a lot, but he also had breakfast with his friends, ate dinner and drank wine (sometimes he was even accused of being a drunkard!) and little children ran to him. He must have been pretty enjoyable to be around if even little children want to run up to the revered Rabbi.   If you are ALWAYS thinking that "God wants me to be productive. I need to do this and that..." then I challenge you to sit back, listen to Him, and just take delight in His presence.   We can also apply this to our sex lives. What if sex was fun and filled you up? And it's not just about sex

Words are important. They can cause a wildfire or a passionate flame in your bedroom.   Outside of the bedroom: We can be hurtful and careless with our words and say “Oh he’s my husband”. Does that sound familiar? But is he really JUST your husband? That is God’s son you’re dealing with.   If you want to get your words in line with God’s will, one of the first things that needs to be done is to APOLOGIZE. Just get it out of the way. It’s hard, especially if it’s not part of the culture of your marriage. But it’ll get easier the more you do it!   When words are on purpose, intentional, and aligned with what God wants your husband to hear, then it’s easy to truly become ONE FLESH. Generous lovemaking becomes more natural to both of you.   Now onto the SEXY STUFF: What CAN you say in sex? Is God okay with you saying seductive phrases to your husband? Could God even WANT you both to use your words to turn each other on? What is going to encourage the bond between you and your husband? If he's aroused and y

A lot of women are under the impression that they need to share everything with their husbands. In fact, they say this is being “honest”. I disagree. In EVERY marriage (yes, even VERY good ones), there are many things that are not (and should not) be shared. No one needs to share about tons of bathroom stuff---yuck, not sexy. But there are tons of other things that just wouldn’t be useful, helpful, godly, respectful, kind or many other reasons to share. AND it depends on what level of the Marriage Health Spectrum your marriage is to determine what you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT share. If your marriage is awful right now, you shouldn't SHARE what someone who has an awesome marriage can share. You have to be strategic with what you do and do not share. SO that it can BECOME an awesome marriage.   Find out... Where your marriage is on the Marriage Health Spectrum Considering that, does he--your husband--deserve “your heart”? How can you still be the faithful, generous wife AND guard your heart? HOW to respond to

As a mother, you would do ANYTHING for your children. What does that have to do with making love to their father? Well, A LOT. In fact, their eternity is at stake. Really. Your marriage teaches your kids to treat others, adults and themselves. Your marriage teaches them what a healthy relationship/marriage looks like and that they want one. Your marriage shows them that a relationship with Jesus is fun and worth picking the right spouse and waiting for it! Your marriage shows them what character means. Your sex life is foundational to all of this... Your husband can be an incredible dad He can be focused on his family not the temptations of the world Other things covered: How sex satiety and desire for sex occurs in opposite ways for women and men Why your children need to be well-liked by adults (and that's your job)  World-renowned psychologist mentioned: Jordan B. Peterson When you're a whole woman, totally emotionally held and loved in your marriage you have a far greater capacity to be a present,

What does money have to do with your marriage? Finances are often touted as the biggest reason for divorce... but get this: when you have an awesome sex life studies estimate that it's equivalent to having an additional $100k per year! So... NO financial issues... But there's more, the BIGGEST financial DISASTER that can ever befall someone is divorce. SO an awesome marriage and sex life can either pay big $$$ or cost you a ton of money!   With all that said, how well are you prioritizing life so that your marriage is protected and your finances support it? WISELY.   The Bible is very specific: wisdom is more valuable than silver and gold... "nothing your heart desires can compare with her". So, how high are you prioritizing wisdom to ensure you have an awesome marriage? The cool thing is that Solomon first asked for wisdom and then God also gave him riches! So if you invest your finances into wisdom the rewards may also be material wealth! I talk about the way to prioritize your life that is accorded with th

I get so many emails from husbands. I want to send a message to their wives...the wife I used to be. I was a wife who saw sex as Dirty Wrong Ungodly Scary He was sinning for wanting it Too much work I didn't like it / it hurt / I didn't know what to do I don't have time I don't have energy What's in it for me? He's way too interested in sex And so I avoided it and got resentful that the things I was doing wasn't appreciated. He kept asking me to learn more... and I got angrier. Well God has changed my heart on this. I have discovered that God made my husband's member, and I am his wife. It is my privilege to be a part of intimacy with him. I am his only means of receiving this vital fulfillment righteously. I believe this podcast will bring you closer to God. If you're anything like I was, I wish I had known this even before I got married. If I could only understand what sex meant to him. If I could only understand God's purposes for it. I pray this would be something husbands can give to their wives (when

Are you having the WRONG type of sex? Why your wife doesn't LOVE intimacy Why sex feels carnal Why sex feels like it's just for HIM Why sex isn't fulfilling (EVEN if you orgasm) I argue that there is a very legitimate reason... You guys haven't made feminine sex....ever Have you ever even been exposed to what feminine sex is? Let me give you a description and then the tools on how to get started! Go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/type for further explanation and a step-by-step guide to feminine sex    Resources referenced:  Miss Representation documentary If you want to know more about our sexualized culture and how men have defined those you can check this own My very serious warning is there's a ton of very negative visuals--sexually-explicit music videos, movies with very provocative clothing... but they have really educational good content What I would suggest is turning it on your phone and then turning your phone over so you can hear the content without being exposed to the crude and sinful v

So... my husband listens to every podcast before I post them. He often gives me notes on what I need to take out or change. I have been podcasting since Feb 2015 (!!) and by God's grace have been awarded one of the Top 30 Relationship podcasts on the web!! My husband ended up listening and having an entire page FULL of notes. POSITIVE notes! (One negative note--not that it was wrong but that it might be a bit too explicit. I countered "I just don't want wives to be confused with what I'm really talking about". He said well, it's ABSOLUTELY true..." so, I left it it in!) In my almost 200 episodes (!!) my husbands said this is one of the best--maybe THE BEST.    So! I encourage you to listen with an open heart and get ready for some (maybe uncomfortable) truth bombs!   Here is the site I mention where I have collated a sampling of SOME of the emails I get from husbands WISHING (and some even are crying) because they want so badly for their wives to work with me! Seriously...read it... delightyourmarriage.com/hu

How could suffering ever be a gift? Why would focusing on suffering be a wise thing? A lot of times the women I coach don't take the time to look at the pain and suffering they're experiencing. But when they do that, they are distracting themselves away from its lessons--the wisdom God wants to teach us through it. And even through our AWARENESS of it. On this episode, I talk about the 13 Gifts of Sufferings and I talk specifically about some of my own sufferings that have given me great gifts and it was because I was aware of them in the moments that God used it profoundly in my life.   Jump on a call with me personally to unearth what you're going through and use the suffering to provoke action! Check to see if I have some time on my calendar at www.dym.as.me It's a 40min call for free with me directly! --- Testimonial: of a husband of 20+ years: I just wanted to say a few things, like...Thank you! Thank you for the time you spent with her, and for your generosity, it is much appreciated. I don't know what

Can things really change? "It's been 5, 10, 25 years, how could this ever be different?" Suffering in marriage makes your whole life suffer---kids, job, ministry, peace, walking in the fruits of the spirit, sexual fulfillment, chastity in thoughts, satisfaction in marriage, covetous thoughts of other marriages, sin in many places, not starting the ministries God has called you to and would thus not touch the many people God wants you too!!   It's 2019, packed in this message is lots of hope, and practical steps to make changes in you that will greatly impact your marriage!   Here is a testimonial I just received by a wife who has been married 10+ years: "Before working with Belah, my marriage had been to the brink of divorce and separation. My husband and I had continual anger and resentment toward one another. I knew the importance of sex to a man, and felt pressure to be 'enough'. But I felt like I never was.    I reached out to Belah, for her to help me be who he needed. Belah listened to my heart, and saw

WHAT SHOULD YOUR LIFE BE ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF 2019? I used to try to cram all of my goals into the beginning of the year. And I would scramble for a few weeks potentially months—at best and then drop all of them by April.   I’ve learned something very valuable that I wanted to share today. I want to talk to you about exactly how I set my priorities throughout every year. It frees me up to focus, relax and listen to God’s voice.   This year I’m really excited and there’s a lot of really good things! And I want that for you as well. If you want to move your marriage to a place of peace and passion and joy and purpose, I would love to jump on a FREE breakthrough call where you can discover solutions immediately.   Sign up here: https://dym.as.me/ God bless you in 2019!   (If you’re not in my FREE private Facebook group where we discuss intimacy and marriage and purpose in life and I walk with God join here!… Wives only! :-) ) www.facebook.com/groups/delightym/