The Mating Grounds Podcast

Getting over a breakup is tough. This is the other side of a past Q&A we did on breaking up without being a dick. It's fucked up when a serious girlfriend dumps you by text, but it's likely there were signs of this coming. In this Q&A episode, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils talk about the best ways to get closure, what to look for and reflect on, and how to talk to friends (mutual, hers, and yours) to figure out what went wrong. 

The short answer is that there's is no right time. Every guy is different. But there are ways to know when to switch from short-term mating to a long-term relationship. Getting tired of sleeping with women that you don't care about is one of them. This decision is best made by emotion, not logic and reason. Listen to your gut. And remember you can always go back to short-term relationships if you want.  Tucker starts this episode talking about how he knew it was time to make the switch in his 30s when he felt lonely having sex with a ton of women. Nils and Dr. Miller give more cues to look for and bad situations to avoid. They also suggest looking at medium-term relationships as training for a long-term relationship. It takes time to transition from short to medium to long. 

Career or life anxieties can feel overwhelming, but you don't have to know where you're going in life or have a great career before finding a girlfriend. Women don't date a job. They date a person.  In this Q&A, Tucker and Dr. Miller explain how your career is only one factor in your overall attractiveness and not a very important one, especially if you are younger. Research on this indicates that women can find a man's potential for success much more attractive than his actual success. This works well for you if you're 25, not so much if you're 35. They also go into some life and career advice not related to dating. 

This is a new podcast segment called "Helping Joe." We take a regular Mating Grounds listener and work through his problems with meeting and dating women. In the first episode of this series, Tucker and Charlie learn about Joe's problems and why he's not doing well with women. They dive into how and where to meet women, understanding attractive women, and how to set up a great Tinder profile, including ideas for funny photos and an interesting bio. 

Hooking up is awesome but ending a short-term relationship by disappearing or being a dick is harmful to both you and her. Tucker has learned a lot from ending relationships in a myriad of horrible ways. Read any of his 3 books if you want to learn how NOT to do this well. In this Q&A, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller show you exactly how to breakup a short or medium term relationship so you are both better off. They give breakup conversation scripts and examples you can copy verbatim. Be kind but firm. Don't be a coward and disappear. 

The strategies you need to get over severe social anxiety are different than past answers we've given on social anxiety and being nervous. Dr. Miller, Tucker, and Nils dive into extinction theory and how to use exposure therapy to take small steps and build on them. They give many short-term and long-term strategies to effectively manage social fear so it won't stop you from meeting women and talking to women. 

If you are a classmate, friend, or acquaintance of a woman, you are already a potential mate. Talking is a way to figure out if there is a connection or chemistry. Having anything in common is a great way to talk to her and start a conversation. You can then transition into other conversation topics. You don't have to re-introduce yourself as a sexual being. You already are.

The idea that you should wait a long time before texting or calling a girl after getting her number is wrong; you should text a girl when you feel like texting her. In this episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin explain why it's dumb to play games, and tell you what you need to do and what you need to avoid when first texting a girl.

Sometimes a woman may do something that you perceive as rejection, but it's not actually a rejection. If you have a negative mindset and always assume the worst, you're going to have trouble with dating and relationships. In this episode, Tucker, Nils, and Charlie why a woman might try to reschedule a date or otherwise change plans, what the correct way to response is, and how to improve a negative mindset so that you will be more successful with women.

How you move is a key indicator of your sexual fitness, and by developing and displaying physical skills in ways that matter to women, you will become significantly more attractive. In this episode, Tucker and Geoff explain why women find physical skills attractive, how to find skills that interest you, and how to display your physical skills to attract women.

If your girlfriend is intimidated by your female friends, it's something you need to address. In this episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin explain how to bring up the topic with your girlfriend, find out what aspects of your friendships she's intimidated by, and what to do to make her comfortable.

While some women like hairy guys, others don't. If you're trying to tailor your look to get the most interest, the less hair the better. In this episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin tell you how to determine what your partner likes, and give you some simple grooming tips to maximize how attractive you are to women.

Improving your physical health is one of the easiest things you can do to become more attractive to women, all it takes is some simple diet changes and a little exercise. In this episode, Tucker and Geoff explain some misconceptions about health and fitness, what type of body women find most attractive, and what you need to do to get that body. 

There are ways to meet women at the gym, but you need to pick the right situations. In this episode, Tucker, Nils, and Charlie tell you which women to talk to and which to avoid, how to make women feel safe, and the best ways to meet women at the gym. 

If you're narcissistic and you want to have good relationships, you need to constantly be aware of your behavior. It's hard to change your attitudes, but you can change how you express them. In this episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin explain how to figure out what specific problems you have, how to fix those problems, the importance of therapy, and Tucker and Geoff share how they have dealt with their own narcissism. 

The problem with monogamous relationships is that the instinctive male desire for sexual variety isn't fulfilled, but there are things you can do to fulfill it to some degree. In this episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin tell you what you can do to make your sex life more interesting, keep your relationship exciting, and some deeper questions to consider if you're getting bored in a relationship.

If women assume you're a player because of how attractive you are, you can have lots of success with both short-term and long-term relationships. For long-term relationships, you just need to signal romantic interest, and for short-term relationships, you're already in the perfect position. In this episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin explain how to signal interest for long-term relationships and how to be more confident and effective in short-term mating. 

To have relationships with women, it's important to show that you're interested, and there's a right way to do this and a wrong way. In this episode, Tucker and Geoff tell you how to display romantic proof to attract women, how to avoid being creepy, and how being honest will help you get laid.

Most guys use Tinder completely wrong. In this episode, Charlie Hoehn joins Tucker and Nils to explain what most guys do wrong on Tinder, how to optimize your profile, and how to easily meet up with your matches.

Sometimes a girl will lose interest, it happens to everybody. When this happens, the first thing you need to do is evaluate your behavior to see if you did anything wrong, and if you can't find a reason, you need to move on. In this episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Nils tell you some potential reasons why a girl will lose interest, how to learn from your mistakes, and when to move on and find a different girl.